microwavepuddin

[microwavepuddin]

[microwavepuddin]

Did you know that hogs enter a state called "soil hibernation" during the hottest summer months? When temperatures exceed 95°F for more than a week, wild hogs will dig shallow depressions in moist soil and enter a semi-dormant state where their heart rate drops by 70% and they can survive without food for up to 18 days. This adaptation evolved in their Mediterranean ancestors as a way to conserve water during drought conditions.

Scientists have observed that during this soil hibernation, hogs experience unusual rapid eye movement (REM) sleep patterns. Their brain activity suggests they're having complex dreams, primarily focused on rooting behaviors. Researchers at the University of Barcelona's Wildlife Research Center have recorded electrical patterns suggesting that hibernating hogs mentally "practice" foraging techniques during these dreams, which may explain why hogs appear to have improved truffle-finding abilities immediately after emerging from their summer torpor. Some rural communities in southern Spain even time their truffle hunting seasons to coincide with the end of the local hog population's soil hibernation period.

[microwavepuddin]

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

[microwavepuddin]

“Do it scared” “do it badly” it’s time to drop the guide for do it alone

[microwavepuddin]

so it turns out that climbing onto a rooftop in the middle of the night does solve all your problems, but i failed to consider that it would create a brand new one

[microwavepuddin]

If you know anyone who seems really chill to the point of being virtually indestructible, like nothing could ever bother them in any way, could get hit by a train and just shake it off and be totally fine, laughing it off as soon as they've dusted themselves off and stopped bleeding, but who occasionally just randomly falls apart to complete fucking smithereens with seemingly no cause nor warning, only to get back up again a few minutes/hours/days later like "ok yeah I'm fine again that was weird lmao", and you've ever wondered what the fuck is up with that:

They are actually not ok and most likely are not ok at any point. The whole "hardiest person you know who just collapses randomly sometimes" thing isn't a deliberately constructed façade, as a matter of fact it might be something that they actually personally believe themselves to be. But in reality this is somebody who's either unintentionally learned or has been deliberately trained to hide negative emotions and mask symptoms at all costs, as the #1 priority that goes over any other survival needs.

So even though it may look like they go from 1 to 100 completely at random and unpredictably, and then swing right back again to being totally fine, you have no way of knowing how long they've been at 95% before the last line of defense broke down and the system collapsed. And once they flip back up, odds are that they just managed to scrape their shit back together again just enough to get their backup masking systems running. The "check engine" light never turned on because the wire was clipped years ago.

If this is you, this is your callout to seek some sort of help. I'm telling on everyone in this room including myself.

[microwavepuddin]

Ghosts that should exist soon if not already

Notifications/typing noises in otherwise empty spaces

People waving you over from the side of the road and asking if you're their Lyft. Disappear the moment you look away

Abandoned warehouses that sometimes reverberate with an unheard bass

'Cold spots' where you can't get signal (that cannot be otherwise explained)

That dispensary with the blacked out windows? It used to be a Blockbuster until the manager got shot. If it's the right kind of night and you look real close and cup your hands to block out all the light? You can watch it happen, but they might see you

Newsletters from startups that no longer exist

Hype House haunted by the reason they had to make an apology video

Pictures of a stranger in your camera roll

At 2:30 every morning you can hear a ringing bell coming from the elementary school. Thing is, they switched to a digital tone in 2013. Also, it cannot be captured electronically

Welcome to Denny's what can I start you on? You already ordered? Wait.. Tall, pink hair? *sigh* Been dead for a mtonth and she's still stealing tips

[microwavepuddin]

I'm curious-

[microwavepuddin]

youll go to restaurants with your friends of 10 years and accidentally stay until closing because youre so engrossed in one another, then wonder why societal expectations say you wont be happy until you find someone to be "more" than "just" friends with. maybe someday i'll find The One, but if you think im letting small talk with tinder dates get in the way of slipping back into hearts and minds that grew alongside mine until we were all us-shaped? well then. youre just another person who doesnt get me at all

[microwavepuddin]

i love characters who do the “i worship the myth i make of you” and in turn dehumanize and get wrong the object of their devotion and love. yes project a thing that does not exist onto a pedestal and kneel at it like it is your altar. this will surely not blow up in both of your faces eventually

[microwavepuddin]

I really do think life is a series of watching other people walk through doors you can't follow them through. I've been thinking about it lately when it comes to marriage---my sister got married recently, and my brother before her, and while the occasions were joyful and I was happy for both of them, it was also like standing in mission control. Or maybe not even that, maybe the 'friends & family' section of the tarmac, several miles from the launch pad entirely. Waving as this intrepid astronaut (the one you would have sworn you knew as well as you know yourself, because you share so much and it lingers in your skin) climbed into a shuttle, jetted off into the darkness.

And then, the person who came back was....different. Not bad different! (Sometimes they come back better, this is also decidedly strange.) Just....different. They have gone somewhere you can't follow, seen and experienced things you will never be privy to. They will go back to that dark, unknown and unknowable country again, once the holiday or other familial obligation is over. And so you spend some time talking to them, nodding and smiling on autopilot while you quietly wonder, did they do that before, and I just didn't notice? Is that new? I don't remember that. I can't remember if---

It's a very strange experience, to be confronted with the fact that people exist outside of you, even those who share 99.99% of your DNA.

[microwavepuddin]

Reblog and you’re guaranteed to be successful at whatever you do next!

[microwavepuddin]

aha! you may have mistaken my statement of "women belong in the kitchen" as misogynistic, but you see, i think being in the kitchen is a good thing. women's innate desire to make sandwiches is a positive trait, and we all know if it's positive it doesn't count as a stereotype. i'm very smart and i know what feminism is.

[microwavepuddin]

This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

[microwavepuddin]

they just don't make characters like jon archivist sims. he spends an entire season having a forty episode long delusional breakdown and that's only maybe the third or fourth worst period of time in his life. he gets intervened on twice. he gets kidnapped thrice. during one of those kidnappings he spends a month tied to a chair getting forcibly moisturized by a plastic ringmistress mannequin and no one notices. he fully dies for six months but gets up again when a friendly grim reaper gives his unbreathing body a pep talk. he spends several episodes at the start of the final season so depressed that it's unclear if he even moves for multiple days in a row. the basis for his magic powers is that he is so traumatized that he begins to need continuous further trauma in order to live, which gives him the ability to explode people with his mind. he spends about fifty seconds at the top of an episode self-harming directly into a tape recorder, which is not even the most fucked up thing to happen to him that episode. he finally cried on audio for the first time in the penultimate ep and the only reaction I saw for several days after was wildly enthusiastic cheering. he's missing two ribs and he's at least 80% scar tissue by volume and the only canon information we have about his appearance is that he looks terrible at all times.

[microwavepuddin]

I recommend also reading the post this commenter is responding to.

[microwavepuddin]

that’s so crazy