midnightsmarauder-blog

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

the multiverse theory

in this universe – before we met, we saw each other at least a hundred times. a row in front of you at the movies, an aisle away in the grocery store, a mutual acquaintance’s brief mention. 

elsewhere – there are countless versions of us that exist, each meeting at the wrong time. both fumbling to pick the same package of grapes when his hickeys were still fresh on my neck; both laughing at the sad scene in a movie when she still slept in your bed; both attending the same party when we were both too young to understand how deeply our connection runs.

in this universe – you found me at the exact right time in the exact right place. a conveniently empty seat next to you. I could feel the whole world slow for a moment, waiting for me to sit down, and simply say hello.

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

A law of attraction or just a distraction Is this a coincidence ? I can't tell the difference Drawn to watching you go to her A blessing and a curse What if your soulmate thought he loved someone else And all you could do was watch him as he fell Wanting to catch him But you're just a stranger Emotional disturbance manifests to anger An extra in this cinematic love affair He looks and he stares Parts of him already belong to you But it's too good to be true I'm writing this as I walk to you Ready to let my heart and soul undue Here goes nothing I remember the first mention of your name and how I started blushing My heart rate accelerating As I matched your gaze My truth hesitating I pull myself together And ask him about the weather

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Mood:

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

And all those incentives to love you just weren't quite enough anymore She had new areas of herself that she wanted to explore

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Apologies have always been just words for you I use to fight myself over you Tell myself I was over getting over you 4 years later and all those feelings come rushing back Standing in your living room and this time it feels right No emptiness, it’s more than words Your lips intrude mine And soon I’m back in your dorm My conscience eating at me “Why wait any longer”

It consumes me Young and delicate Your eyes lock into mine And I succumb to you all over again 3 little words forecast a nuclear rain shower He’s touching me like he’s had it all along Stars align to this occasion

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

I’m shitty at being honest, But I want to be honest with you and Honestly everything about you scares me shitless, From the way your lips are still glistening with the aftermath of my anxiety To the small of your back pressed softly into my hands. I am so small when I am next to you, Engulfed by you, infinite, Falling into the back of your throat as your laughter swallows me, Muffled and slow. The sunset smears clouds across the sky with brushstrokes of light, Painting the portrait of a nebula and I swear to god you are every hue I’ve ever loved; Just like that you are dust and gas compact into these atoms I can’t fathom how the universe designed you. I can’t think of the equations that led our lines to meet, My hands are clasped in desperation that we can bend so that after We intersect we will not have to leave. My heart is a kick-drum slamming inside my chest to The rhythm of your fingers running through my hair to the nape of my neck. No amount of sound can touch me now As I write this down, Trying to pen you onto a paper. It’s the best I can do In the stead of paint onto a canvas.

"Portrait Of A Nebula" - Nishat Ahmed (via sickwithsyllables)

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

She sat in her car staring at her house for a long time. Had the girl gone mad? Had she finally lost it? Raindrops hit the window As silent tears slid down her cheeks But inside it was so loud She was screaming inside Her insides demanded some sort of sign Mountains need not move But maybe the clouds would form some picture of what was to be What happens when therapy isn't therapy When you bear yourself unbearably All to have it thrown in your face When you allow someone in your space And it's not enough And you feel yourself suffocate And you fall into this place Where you find yourself sitting outside in the rain watching the clouds Hoping they form some type of answer to this dismay

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

laying in the dark

reaching out to my thoughts

entrapment becomes me

am I a slave to my emotions

whose your master?

We intermingled and I became you

I inhaled you and breathed you

two storms dancing in the sky

and somewhere in this waltz

I became paralyzed

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Everyday I fight her My polar opposite I deny her every breath But even in denying her she possesses me Encompasses me

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Platonically unplatonic. One would say she was fully satiated. 4 years of love. Her relationship was far from perfect but she reaped everything she wanted. He was loyal, beautiful, charming, sexually adequate, and completely superficial. It wasn’t until he left, that she formed a friendship with HIM. HE was bold, outspoken, deep, at times cold, but undeniably sensitive. He lacked trust for women, so he remained emotionally detached. But somehow they connected. At first she thought he was filling a void, but soon when her boyfriend returned she found herself craving HIM. His words His thoughts But they remained innocent, so why did she feel guilty, Like she had to hide him from everyone Cravings turned to desires and one day she indulged Liquid courage she thought But maybe she was just attracted to the complication of it all. The intensity. She even left her boyfriend certain of the uncertainty She left her boyfriend and found HIM pulling away from her But perhaps that was what she deserved for being so selfish Desertion, HE was only passing through Afraid to feel bound to someone and weakened by the promise of something real along with the connected complications The same things that drew her to him, pushed him away from her So where did that leave her? Deceitful, misleading, selfish, inconsiderate,perhaps even a slut? Alone.

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

I still remember the day our souls intertwined

ripe seeds with no intention to grow

but I was your fresh drop of water

flowing

growing

and moving you

you molded me

blind eyes playing with darkness but somehow found light

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

I took every image of you I had packed away And convinced myself they could not stay Tripping, falling no strings attached Invested energy but you remained detached Sure I could blame you and say it isn’t fair But what hurts more is I’m to blame for my despair It was easy to tell myself even though I couldn’t possess you you still were unclaimed; as long as you were alone too And just when I thought it couldn’t get worse Heard from my friend today that you and her finally made it work Never thought I’d play this role in my lucid love story Player meets game changer and never looks back And all the other girls just seem to fade to black The other girl you like but there’s just something she lacks Gravitational pulls you into a sublime black hole And all of a sudden everything’s just unnecessary and you let it go Jealousy or obsession All the obvious signs in my repression That you were slipping through the cracks Losing my grasp Describe this feeling Uneasiness and reeling

-A. Anderson

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

The corners of his eyes danced right before he remembered where he was Sigh, The room had gotten smaller What had he done Still in a trance Messy curls, dilated pupils, red cheeks World war 3 How could love be the answer His hand had a mind of its own And even though it was her face she felt it in her heart She’d gazed at him with admiration the first time she’d said those magic words And now she gazed in bewilderment He was a monster Driven to annihilate her very soul Such a pure soul Yearning for his every stroke For his stimulation He was the master of her desires The king of her undying affection She breathed him and he suffocated her She was his muse His proclamation of domination

-A. Anderson

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Just as a flower doesn't choose it's colors; We are not responsible for what we come to be,'only when we realize this do we become free.

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

You learn to love the parts that used to disgust you. Those you cannot bear to adore, you learn to accept. Hating yourself is exhausting. It is time for you to rest.

Michelle K., It is Time. (via annieanemone)

[midnightsmarauder-blog]

Treading water but I’m stuck in the same motion Drowning in it I try to float but I'm dying in this ocean My transgressions surround me But it’s my desires that drown me Kick push I still fight and plead Not for a ship or an easy escape But a remedy to where I wanna be A method to this insanity Weapons drawn is this his plan for me To watch everyone I love become what I planned to be -A. Anderson