milesandpilesofhans - Tumblr blog

[milesandpilesofhans]

That sounds more like one problem, but really that depends on how early you woke up.

I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all that I woke up too early.

[milesandpilesofhans]

Yeah, the campus is incredibly easy to look at, even the more run down areas are beautiful. Really? Where are you from? Well, I've not had the time to see if we have a stable, I mostly do other sports, but I'm sure we can find it with a bit of exploring. I think I have the time right now.

I suppose so. I just want to get to know this school, it’s absolutely beautiful here. Much different from home, though I haven’t found a stable yet which is sort of disappointing. Would you be able to give me the grand tour right now?

[milesandpilesofhans]

Really? Well, there has been a couple of new people coming in this semester, you among them, I presume? I've been here a bit longer, and I like knowing my surroundings.

I'll be glad to give you the grand tour any time, all of the best places to study beside your dorm, among other nice places to keep in mind. And then there's the town, of course.

That’s a first, everyone I’ve met so far has said that they haven’t even gotten a chance to know this place yet or that it’s too big to know everywhere, but it’s sort of nice that someone does.

I think I’m pretty settled in now, but if you wouldn’t mind showing me around that would be swell. 

[milesandpilesofhans]

Well, we are in Scotland after all. The day that isn't cold and grey is the day pigs start flying. But I'll keep you warm and cozy, if you'd like.

I am so tired of the cold! I don’t think I remember what sunlight looks like, everything is always so grey.

[milesandpilesofhans]

I can help you find your way, just tell me where you need to go. I'm the expert when it comes to this place, know it from top to bottom.

I’m usually the first to help someone when then need it, but I think I need my own help today.

I’m a little lost. 

[milesandpilesofhans]

I'll have to write things down more often when we're together, then. It's really not that different from how you write things. I don't play baseball, but I do play tennis and cricket and I use my right hand for that. It's easier than using my left for those kinds of things. You know what's also very official? A normal non spit handshake. It makes things very sanitary. We'll see... I think I'm an awesome human being without seeing the Goonies yet, so you're wrong about that part.

Does anyone have any painkillers?

[milesandpilesofhans]

Writing Task: Dreams

Runt…

He saw himself, in the very middle of a circle of his brothers. All were taller than him by at least an inch, all with bigger muscles, sharp menacing faces. And the smiles. The smiles were the worst, cruel lips turned upwards baring teeth that seemed like fangs. Chanting the word runt over and over again in their myriad of voices until Hans felt like he couldn’t become any smaller. No matter where he looked he saw their faces, no matter how hard he shut his eyes he could still hear them. He never ran from the circle, however. He was too afraid of what might happen if he did.

Runt.

The word repeated itself in his head, long after he’d woken up in the middle of the night. Every time it happened, Hans woke up in a cold sweat, trying his hardest to contain the screams. He had no idea why a silly little dream should upset him as much as it did, but the fact that it was always the same dream that made his heart beat all the faster was unsettling. This time was just like any others, and Hans sat on his bed, looking across the room to where Kristoff sleep and hoping the other guy never heard anything. They hadn’t made an issue of it before, so he assumed that Kristoff never heard a thing. Hans felt haunted by it. The scores of eyes and the sharp smiles, unmoving and uncaring as they cruelly shouted at him, the same word. It never changed; that word… Every time he heard it in real life he jumped, but when he heard it in the dream it was all he could do to shut his eyes and hope for something to stop the noises. The Hans who dreamt didn’t know how to wake up. Didn’t know there was a world where he was away from his brothers, and the chanting, and the darkness and…

RUNT

The word haunted him even when he was awake. A word that had been forgettable before his brothers’ constant repetition of the word made it lose it’s original meaning. ‘Runt’ didn’t mean the smallest of the litter anymore; it meant unwanted, insignificant, unworthy, pathetic, and worthless. It meant that he would fail at everything he did, and the insecurity that it brought him was always carefully hidden behind two masks, because one was not enough. He wished the word would disappear into nothing, he’d prefer silence to the monotonous chanting in the dream. But the chanting never stopped inside of his head, constantly repeating and overlapping whenever he felt how truly weak he was. The constant drumming just inside his ears would make anyone desperate enough to do anything to make it go away.

[milesandpilesofhans]

The dick punched me in the jaw without any provocation other than a your mom joke. He deserves any prank you throw at him, trust me. Oh, I'm completely confident that you're capable of doing it yourself, but since he's going to blame me anyway I'd rather have some of the fun of helping out. So you've got a scapegoat if you want to go a bit extreme on him.

I don’t know who this Kristoff Bjorgman is, but I can put him on my list easy enough. Any reason why, more specifically than his being an “insufferable ass”? I like to know why I’m targeting someone. And I’ll accept your offer to help, but just know it’s not because I can’t handle complex. Don’t underestimate me, mysterious stranger. I’m a pranking pro.

[milesandpilesofhans]

Pull a prank on my roommate, Kristoff Bjorgman, he's an insufferable ass. I'll even help if you want to do something more complex.

I’ve been here nearly what, three days? And I haven’t pulled a prank yet. This is seriously a problem. So… anyone got a teacher they don’t like? Another student, perhaps? I’m always open to suggestions!

[milesandpilesofhans]

Thank you for understanding, us lefties have a hard time fitting in on all your righty things. [He sighed in relief that she didn't enforce the spit rule.] I am so sorry... It's just not a thing I ever did, my family is in business, so a good handshake means everything to them. Don't be so sure I'll love them yet. I'm sure they did it when they were younger, but by the time I was born all of them were grown up enough to not really do such things. 

Does anyone have any painkillers?

[milesandpilesofhans]

Don't even remind me of that part, you're evil... We don't mention that, it never happened... It's like the ending in Moulin Rouge, if you've seen that movie... It didn't happen. I found it incredibly depressing when she was giving her little introspection. It really showed how the system just completely fucks them over, even if it's the only way that everyone else maintains healthy. The music was just amazing, I even bought the soundtrack. You've never lost hope, have you? Don't you remember it? I mean, if he was the one who told you... Those were some of my fondest memories. The Snow Queen has always been my favorite. You know, I think I like Andersen because I'm named after him. Well, not technically, it's a very popular name where my family comes from.

That is a great part, I just felt so sorry for him. I’m really sympathetic with any type of movie, when Tommy died and Kathy was left on her own and she’s just standing in that field knowing that she starts donating in a month and starts fantasising about Tommy coming over the hill. Well between Carey Mulligans acting and the music, I always seem to cry. That might be true, but hope is never truly lost, people are always hoping. Hoping that things will get better, that something will change. Oh Narnia is one of my favourites and so is Tolkein actually, my Papa says that he read me my mothers fairy tales every night from the first night I was taken home until I could read them myself, apparently it helped me sleep. Anderson is good, but I much prefer Grimm, which one was your favourite? 

[milesandpilesofhans]

OK, I'll shake on it. [Hans watched, unable to contain his horror as Dory spit on her hand and extended it. He could only think of how unsanitary it was to even touch her spit covered hand, let alone shake it with his own spit.] I'm a leftie... [He said as he grasped her unspit left hand in his and shook it.] You think I'm going to let you boss me into watching that movie with you? Well too bad... For me, because it's working... Curse you.

Does anyone have any painkillers?

[milesandpilesofhans]

Not to be rude, but you must have misunderstood me. I said that there aren't many people who don't recognize me. As in I'm very recognizable and well known here. You shouldn't hide in your room, there's a great big world out here.

I-I didn't mean it..

Ah that’s explains it. Or not.. why? Do you hide out in your room a lot too, I mean.. erm..

[milesandpilesofhans]

This 'intelligent' you speak of... I don't think you understand the meaning of the word... Anyway, intelligence and idiocy aren't mutually exclusive, maybe I should be the one playing teacher, at least I know how to do it.

The fact that I’m actually intelligent makes your opinion wrong. Do I have to define some fourth grade terms for you?

[milesandpilesofhans]

That's a lie, they're entirely unfunny. Thanks, I'd appreciate it. That's why this is a secret between you and me, okay? Nobody can find out about how I fell or what happened, it's classified information that only you're allowed to know. Can I trust you? [Hans chuckled at her expression.] Not even once. Is there a problem with that? Please don't tell me you're going to help me 'fix' that...

Does anyone have any painkillers?

[milesandpilesofhans]

Well, you'll grow I'm sure. But right now you're very tiny.

But that’s not my problem. 

[milesandpilesofhans]

My jokes are lame and you know it, that was barely a joke anyway. [He didn't know how to approach the next part of the conversation, the pause he made while thinking was brief but still there. He didn't want her questioning him anymore, and he'd noticed that Dorry asked questions when things didn't add up right.] Remind me to stop touching my face, then. [Was that insensitive? Hans hoped she hadn't taken any offense at the comment.]  That sounds horrible, good thing you healed right back up. I've never seen the Goonies...

Does anyone have any painkillers?