milkdecaf

[milkdecaf]

Hey😔 it’s been like three years since I’ve posted…I’m posting again to keep myself accountable. I’ve now been at my highest weight ever:( I recently tore a couple of stuff in my knee which means I haven’t been as physically active, which caused me to gain a bit more weight. I am now weighing in at 170.2 lb. Which I literally feel disgusting and I hate myself for it. No more of that i will start to lose all of this weight!

[milkdecaf]

[milkdecaf]

No because i have to be back at my normal weight in less then a month... I have to be back down to 140 before school starts I will not have it any other way. Literally fuck me i always wait until the last god damn minute.

[milkdecaf]

I find it funny how some people are like “once you lose weight your problems won’t disappear...🙄✋” UMMM well last time I was at my lowest weight I was actually at my happiest so shut the fuck up🤨😌 now I’m 20 pounds heavier and I’m depressed as fuck so idk you tell me when I was at my happiness.

[milkdecaf]

I’m so scared to weigh myself, it’s been like two days of eating actual meals before I leave for work and eating once I get back home. I just know the numbers will be back to how they were a week ago🥲

[milkdecaf]

I know this is kinda bad but I can’t help it. There is this one person on TikTok who is on their weight loss journey, I’m happy for them but at the same time in the back of my head I’m pressuring myself to lose weight faster then them so that I can still be smaller then them. Recently they have been approaching my weight and it’s really been pressuring me so for the past few days I’ve really been forcing myself to lose weight and it’s been working. I’m not a competitive person at all but for some reason this is just making me one🙁

[milkdecaf]

PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😩😩😩🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️✋✋✋✋✋😜

If I'm dying, you suffering with me.

STOP THE SWEAT- I NOOO

please MY WEAKNESS IM DEAD 😳👀👀🥵

us = eternal suffering

[milkdecaf]

Today was REALLY hot where I live, and it really hit me that yet again for another summer I’ll be stuck at home being insecure about myself and my body:) I had to go outside and do something’s while wearing leggings and an oversized hoodie, it was terrible.

[milkdecaf]

After 2 whole years of looking for a job I think I finally got one!!! It’s only for 4 hours but hey money is money🤪 anyways this basically means I can starve for 4 hours and I’ll burn hella calories because I’ll be doing so much walking and standing. I’ll also be getting money so I’ll be able to pay for all the kpop stuff I could ever want😩

[milkdecaf]

I’ve been feeling so terrible these past few days, like I really hate how ugly I feel in my own body. Today I fasted so hopefully I can do the same for the next two day. I hope this will help me lose some type of weight because I can’t keep being at the weight I currently am. All it takes is 6 full months until I see the full progress of me trying to lose weight, Hopefully if I stick to my plan I can be skinnier by October! Just before Christmas season which is the best in my opinion 🥲

[milkdecaf]

One of the idols from one of the kpop groups I stan is most likely on a “diet” which consists of ONLY an iced Americano and a konjac jelly drink which is like basically nothing. He can burn of those calories in like 2 minutes after dance practice😢

Anyways here is what they look like Incase you have never seen them before! They are really low in Calories as well as can be beneficial to your health and are really filling as well!

[milkdecaf]

I’m going to be honest, before I got into kpop I always felt like I didn’t care if I didn’t lose any weight on my legs. But ever since I got into kpop I really like skinny legs, and now I’m like 😗 I NEED to have skinny legs with a thigh gap.

[milkdecaf]

I heard that taking apple cider vinegar pills help reduce your hunger/reduce bloating??? So I got some, let’s see if it’s true.

[milkdecaf]

Alright, tmr...technically later today in the morning I’ll get back to working out😩 this time I’ll make sure not to mess up my hips! I’ll do a different leg workout and take it a bit lighter. Y’all we got this, let’s get our dream body for the summer( more realistically for me it will probably be a month after summer but that’s ok! Cuz I like winter way better)💜

[milkdecaf]

So that last leg workout I did messed me up, I seriously couldn’t stand up straight👁👄👁 it literally hurt to keep my legs straight. Anyways I will not be working out until my abdomen and hips feel a tad bit better which will probably be in like a few days. It was my fault for not being more careful since I hadn’t worked out in nearly a full year😐

[milkdecaf]

Trying to lose weight in the beginning is always the worst, but once you lose around 10 pounds it starts to become super addictive. It’s like “omg I lost this much already, I know I can keep losing more” so then you keep losing more and more👁👄👁

[milkdecaf]

Me whenever my mom calls me fat but then gets mad when I don’t eat💃💃💃🥰