mille-at-home

[mille-at-home]

Thanks 😜

I don’t think anyone has actually noticed that I haven’t uploaded a blog lately have they? I did blog about this a few months back for those of you who read them you will know I talked about setting up a page. The reasons are quite simple, most of my followers on tumblr recently appear to be porn stars and I wouldn’t mind so much but not even one of them seem to bother giving me a single ‘note’ (Damn them) I am also having slow issues with my beloved iPad, she was a present from Richie when he was in Afghanistan so it certainly can’t be returned and it’s just coming to the end of its little life. These blogs take ages via my laptop, saving as a webpage and uploading tagged an age so it’s a no brainer to simply set up a page.

My confession is that it has been running a few weeks but I haven’t shared it around because I wanted to tell my friend who runs the support page in person. It seems we haven’t quite got together yet. (She lives in Devon but an hour or so further north) Anyway, this is my page where there it is certainly no support page or networking but I can blog and hopefully put a smile on some peoples faces that can relate.

If you want to follow me I would certainly appreciate it and comment and share and all that if you like them but I am also asking if you would not tag me or mention names? I want to blog on this one anonymously and it will be in the style you are all used to, if I upload pictures it will not show faces and Cory and Erin are now 'The son’ and 'The daughter’ of course, the husband remains 'The husband’ and I go from Mille to 'The wife’.

This is an open page so from a safety aspect I will be careful but you will indeed know I am a real military wife. (unless you are MQ then this sentence is null & void) I will keep my tumblr page because there may well be things I don’t want to put on an open page so I may blog here instead but I will see how it goes.

In the meantime thank you so much for reading this, following me (good luck with the porn) or indeed liking and commenting on my Facebook or Twitter.

If you want to follow it is “The unaccompanied military wife” I have a cartoon family of four as the cover page and a stressy looking brown hair lady pulling her hair as the profile! My memes will all be pink backgrounds.

Thank you. Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

My Erin did it! Very proud.

[mille-at-home]

Wood chippings!

This might be a slightly different angle of my blogs but it’s important in my world, I got to say as important as our scrummy hot tub has turned out to be! Cory and Erin sit in that little thing together at the weekends and for the most part there is little arguing, even it that confined space. On Friday Cory was telling Erin how brave he was after vaccinations and what drama queens the girls were, “so when it’s your turn Erin just be brave and cut the drama eh?” Erin just replies ‘it’s ok I’m a military kid AND I’ve got ginger hair, I’m strong. Mum thinks it’s because I can beat her in sparring but I know I’m different!“ Bless their hearts! She can’t wait for secondary school and is counting down the days, Cory is telling her to come and see him immediately if anyone is nasty to her and he will sort them out! Finally…have I done this right? Yippee #thisisreal (By the way she has another year to go yet!).

Talking of brave, we both went to our next is brown training last week, anticipating perhaps being put forward after a couple more attendances but at the end of a pretty gruelling hour and a half we were told to get to Plymouth this weekend for grading! We were absolutely made up until I looked at the slip of paper to see it was Saturday. Damn and blast it - I have fought a few demon tears over it but persuaded Erin to go without me as Dad could take her and my training partner in crime. I can’t begin to tell you how disappointed I have been but job comes first, besides its my only contracted job and military wife employment can be hard to find! It’s a busy time of year for theatre school with reversals in full swing for the summer show.

We started the karate journey when Richie was in Afghanistan and even that seems a distant memory now, so it was important that Erin actually just did this. I told her I will catch up but I know I am fighting my own confidence and it is just not going to happen. I know I can’t do it on my own - the realisation that you will do anything for your children but they also do an awful lot for you. I think we may all forget this bit sometimes. So I am stuck. The next grading is a Saturday and the following is a Saturday and the one after that so its just not going to happen anytime soon regardless whether I could or couldn’t?! You see I’m at my own selfs stale mate. I have no idea what to do and have probably cried so much into my poor Richie’s shoulder this weekend that he must think I’m doubly hormonal or something! I’m not - just a little upset which in turn brings on the tremor! Damn that fooking tremor, it seriously hurts my neck trying to control it. Although alcohol is - fact. A medicinal remedy for essential tremors so I have taken that route instead! (I don’t like the feeling of the beta blockers).

The reason for this, I worked for a complete ass! That’s all. An controlling little ass who just happened to treat me and so many others so appallingly that it has left me with little confidence, a tremor and panic attacks?! It’s quite ridiculous but also quite real and if I’m honest I have no idea what to do about it as I can’t see why he should still have such a control over me - I need to get on with my life. I once stood in front of many health care professionals teaching dementia care, safeguarding, risk assessment, whistleblowing and above all bullying in the workplace! I can tell you every sign of bullying and abuse along with policies and procedures designed to protect employee against this type of treatment but when it came to me - I crumbled. I really thought I was much stronger than that but there you have it. I have a few demons yet to fight it seems. Considering what my husband does for us, this paragraph is a ridiculous to me as it probably is to you but that’s how it is.

Strength comes in many different forms and I have to make this a little upbeat now because I don’t want anyone thinking I’m too weak you know - we had two trees cut down last week and I asked the tree surgeon for the chippings so that we could use them at the front of the garden, he kindly said he’d bag them up for me but I was busy having my keyboard lesson whilst two men were strapped to tress with chainsaws, I didn’t supervise. Anyway I go out a few hours later and all the wood chipping had just been blown into one corner, there was a bloody mess and they had happily strewn logs over into next doors bit of land mistaking it for the woods, it’s overgrown but not that bad! So, today I have been out the back of the house with a rake and a plastic jug filling bags and taking them to the front to lay on the freshly laid weed reducing stuff Richie worked on yesterday. When he phones I proudly tell him I have filled and moved 27 bags of this stuff and there is still piles of it left to which he replies "It will disintegrate quickly anyway because it’s not treated, it will need replacing in 12mths or so” Really? WTF? I have been to work, done all that; hoovered the house and put the washing away before collecting Erin! For it to last 12 months?! Now I feel fooking hormonal!!!

Moral of the story is, this tree surgeon was several hundred pounds cheaper than others and sometimes you get what you pay for!

Have a good week all. Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

Well 2.5 years wearing this belt is finally paying off! Erin is going for brown this weekend! My only vice is the 7 days notice given. Go girl! Will update at the weekend. #karate #grading #brownbelt #happy

[mille-at-home]

Parenting and vaccinations!

Ok I was a little sneaky a few weeks ago and it sort of backfired on me! (As these sneaky things always do). Cory came home in a right old little spin about his year 9 vaccinations, he was having none of it whilst I was adamant he is “it’s just a little scratch to protect you” I’m sure we have all been there or at least will in the future, it’s bad enough putting your baby and pre-schooler through this obvious pain but a 14 year old who thinks they are an adult because quite frankly they are tall as; is a different story. Even telling him that his best friend from primary schools mum, is probably going to be doing the vaccination didn’t help. Anyway, the letter of acceptance had to be returned back into an envelope and given to the school nurse team at the school by the said child. The defiance from Cory told my mothering instincts that if he was responsible for this letter, it would miraculously be ‘lost’ 'mislaid’ 'my drink spilt on it’ 'it grew wings and flew out of my bag, me and my mates tried in vain to catch it but…’ Kind of mislaid!

So, I thought I’d say nothing and I signed the forms of acceptance and took them into work with me on the Saturday morning and my boss hand delivered the letter direct to the nurses office. I knew the date was looming as it was written on my wall calendar and still I said nothing. When they called his name he would know and I’m sure the nurses are very used to nervous 14 year old was my thought process. Cory came home on Wednesday to tell me his class were all making such a big fuss over their injections, obviously I asked how his went.

“I didn’t have it mum, I didn’t take the form in”

*facepalm mum moment and a lot of the subconscious bitch in me saying 'ha ha, should have just been honest’ Apparently the kids were told “everyone who returned the forms to the school nurse make your way to….” So Cory didn’t because to his knowledge it wasn’t returned! Damn it!! When I was at school the teacher called your name and off you went! I don’t know if the 6 others that sat with Cory also had a sneaky parent like me but I came clean and Cory did see the funny side saying it was his fault for being so moody about it so we took half the blame each and I, of course got straight on the phone to the school to let them know he should have it, he was on the list it’s just he didn’t know he was on the list!

He had the vaccination the next day and guess what, he was fine as it was the nurse I thought it would be. He was actually really pleased as he said he stood in one queue and 'A’ saw him and called him over telling him she would look after him in her group. He thought this was wonderful and she obviously could see he was nervous and set about chatting to him and telling him how his mate was doing etc etc (different schools). All in all the experience was lovely for him but he says only because it was 'A’ and to top it off, the competitive side of him was really pleased to have outwitted his Dad who has a genuine needle phobia!

All is happy in the Mille world this week aside from the sneaky parenting! Although, Erin left her Gi top for karate in her kit back all week so it didn’t get washed with the rest of the whites, (I do wish these things were black or something) whilst I am hurrying her out of the door with the usual 'have you got your drink?’ 'You don’t need your phone!’ 'Put any shoes on, not those’ she throws the Gi top on the floor saying “it stinks of bananas” I tell her not to be so ridiculous and under gritted teeth (we WILL be late) “just put it on and stop stalling”. This week we are sparring so we need to put on our mitts and pads half way through lesson, this empties the kit bag and Erin is laughing “erm mum, mum, what did I say about my top smelling of bananas?” Fook! There for everyone to see is a rather black and shrivelled rotting banana which has clearly been there for several weeks! Ok ok I take it back but as a good parent does; I tell her ��well, if you took care of your own kit bag and Gi, you would have seen it before it went bad” we had a giggle and it’s safe to say the whole lot has now been washed ready for Sunday’s next is brown belt training! Do you know what - I am feeling good about my karate right now and I have even enquired about tournament! Ooooooo get me! #hatersbackoff

Our dear Norton is having more bad than good days lately but he still seems happy albeit a problem with eating his dinner - he can stand and walk but can’t stand to eat? His hind legs just fold under him so I have been looking out for a little pouffe, you know the kind of round brown thing with a diamond pattern that your Gran used to have…no luck yet but it’s just to hold him up whilst he eats, either that or a ceiling hoist for meals?! The things we do eh for our beautiful fur babies!

It’s another bank holiday and we have an extra day to cram the week in to but….I switched the hot tub on yesterday and it’s up to full heat! Enjoy the long weekend all.

Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

A wall 😝

I don’t know what’s happened with Cory and Erin recently but I fear there has been a little bit of a malfunction, they are actually getting along? And in a confined space i.e. at the dinner table; without arguing so much? I think I have only intervened once whereas they were arguing without even leaving their rooms - literally arguing through a brick wall! They only shut up when I went up to tell them Trump was building a bloody wall and here they are with their own one between them and still managing to irritate each other! They saw the funny side and haven’t bothered talking to the wall since?

Mum = 1 Children = 0

I took Mum to what I thought was a quick hospital appointment last week only she had me! Totally and utterly had me! The appointment was 11am, when we got back (I thought approx 11.30am) she wanted me to clean her flatlet for her, change her bed etc etc etc this is no problem as I am there, but I arrive at 10.25 am to find her in her pyjamas still trying to drink a pint of water? I hurry her up (this never goes well) and I panic over getting there on time. It is now that she tells me the staff haven’t yet helped her with the blue badge form and on the way out she says bye to the lovely senior carer (she really is quite lovely, aside from form filling!) and then tells her she needs her medication as ‘the letter says at least two hours’ Oh my days! There isn’t much I can do is there? She is special my mum!

Anyway, I did the usual; struggled to get mum out of my tin can and sort the wheelchair for her but I got her to the reception area and asked her to wait (not like she was going to go anywhere fast was it?) for 10.42 am. I calculated in my military precision quick planning head that I had just about enough time to move the car from the drop off point and park it in the car park somewhere if I was really lucky, then find where we had to go and get her to her appointment on time! Just. Now; this is where I was bad, really bad and I am ashamed to admit this but…I took a dose of fookital when we left the home, well these should always be administered PRN and this was the time! There was a disabled parking space right outside and it was still there, as I settled mum into the foyer, Mum said she had her blue badge in her bag but it was two days out of date - I just said 'pass it to me mum’ if I get a ticket, I get a ticket! I parked right there in that empty space, I was stressy guys. My bad!

The appointment was actually three hours and mum had to have scans and treatment so this wasn’t a simple appointment after all. We left far more confused than when we arrived with some very conflicting diagnosis’ one doctor says one thing and another doctor says another? Mum is not a happy bunny to say the least! The nurses were fabulous with mum but the doctor was quite dismissive of her asking if she had extra care at the home - well, that opened a can of worms and she told mum to 'fight for it’ seriously?! Do they not think we have? I actually diverted the conversation myself. I finally got her back to the home for 1.20pm exhausted! (That’s me not her) Where she was quite disappointed with me that I couldn’t clean and change her bedding! I will do this on Wednesday. It’s not easy fitting the time in I’m afraid.

I had a meeting at the school on Friday about the planning required for Erin’s residential in the new year 6. Although it seems a long way off its actually only one term left and it will be here - now as some of you know, Erin is not good with separation and the last time was stressful for all and we ended up having to collect her after two hours! I am trying to plan ahead as I know my child but there is this big problem with being MU and not being able to pop into 'the hive’ on base for support. Non military folk just don’t get it. The teacher didn’t 'get it’ I swear she was rolling her eyes in her head, just like the last one that I spoke to about separation anxiety. (He found out the hard way as we had to collect her!) I hope she will cope just fine but if I don’t plan for Erin then it will create a big wobble, one that as they are away from the area I don’t really want happening for her or the other children as its very distressing. Anyway she reassures me and Erin with the usual “ there are lots of children who will find it tough” We go with it. Thankfully her class teacher joined us half way through and he has it! He has been there with Cory through two tours so he gets it! Erin came out very positive and feeling excited about the trip - all I ask for is planning to help her. If I didn’t tell them and she has a meltdown I would be in the wrong of course, sometimes, just sometimes I think this shite would be better if we lived on base! Sometimes I think perhaps I should just say nothing! I am not a fusspot or try not to be - I just want what is best for my child. Surely that’s not too much to ask for is it?

I always need bringing back to earth calmly after these little meetings so over dinner Cory asks “Mum, where would you go if there was a zombie apocalypse?” I have no bloody idea but apparently an oil rig would be suffice so I am going to see about reserving a space! You just never know!

Have a great week all - Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

Norton having a daily massage - think he likes this!

[mille-at-home]

Easter and leave.

I know it’s Easter Sunday but blog I must, as emotions may get the better of me by tomorrow! It’s his last day of leave and he will be returning to base. (Boo hoo!) But what a fantastic week we have had, we are not having the planned extension due to costs but we have a log cabin in the planning stage to incorporate a hot tub, oh and a bar! Well, it’s a luxury item that we have been dreaming about for the past three years, so we did it! Our local store couldn’t get the square one down from the storage as the fork lift truck has broken down, so cue me and a little persuasive ‘nice damsel in distress that we wanted one today’ voice and a nice man agreed he and the manager could “put their hands on one not displayed for £450” (£50 more) Ok, ok I reiterated as long as it’s that price I will send husband back down. He returned home with this huge 4-6 seater thing with bloody LED lights, numerous jets and in short - is shear heaven. We have not watched any TV all week nor indeed, been on the Internet or had any inclination to play candy crush! This tub has been a good purchase!

Then he wants to get a gazebo, twinkly lights and a shed?! The husband has worked really hard in the back garden for the week making it just a relaxing area for us, we have gained a decking area this year as obviously both children do not need to be safely enclosed and tend to play in the woods. The bonus is that we have a whole level of decking previously reserved for the smaller person - it now has a shed (not a man shed) and we are managing to clear boxes from the spare room. We have agree should we go to war at any stage that we could probably kit out a few 'soldiers’ in the bloody kit he has but alas for now it has to be stored until he can get it back to some master?! There is a name for this particular person but I can’t remember, anyway it’s the person who takes all the surplus uniform to be returned to? Well another surplus store which is better than our spare room I might add!

I am so crap at all the army stuff (as you all know) and there is a new blogger in the midst who is raw and very real but I have to say, I can’t understand why - when people respond to her funnies that there is such a bloody need for all the fooking T.L.A.’s it drives me nuts trying to figure out this foreign language other wives talk! Give me a break please - just write it in English eh? It doesn't make you part of the military, neither does it make you important for other subordinates to have to ask WTF is that?! But I guess that’s the downside to MU living. I am just not in the 'zone’. AND another thing that bugs the hell out of me…(sorry, got to just get this off my chest)… A partner, wife, girlfriend or whatever; posts about how sad they are that husband is deploying, this is the most mind boggling, character changing shite any partner, wife, girlfriend or whatever might go through and yet…many see this as a freaking competition with lines like “been there, done that” “husband had done 3,590 tours so far and counting” “mine was away for all children’s births” etc etc etc Ladies - what is this shite?! What’s wrong with saying “Hey, I’m sorry chick, it will be ok, you can do this we know how it feels? Here for you?” Now in my book, that’s far more supportive but noooooo this is too easy for most?! *rant over!

Anyway, onto delightful MU things and aside from hot tub and shed building we have managed to get a family day out or two in. We pottered off to Prickly Ball Farm on Friday. It’s a hedgehog hospital and our children love animals of any description especially if they have a 'rescue story’ to boot. So we walk around this little farm and fall in love with all of the little animals deciding that when we win the lottery this is what we would love to do and of course Erin still has her heart set on a chicken or two! But apart from that I can’t help but notice that most of these places are geared towards your average toddler and pre-schooler with soft play areas and slides etc which every screaming kid around us is enjoying. This is great but as I found with my own two at this age, they have little fooking interest in conservation or rescue animals and actually once you have paid whatever extortionate entrance fee it is to get into these place all the little darlings want to do is go to the play areas?! Ours are older and much more interested in the animals and conservation coupled with a rescue story so when we sit in the hedgehog hospital to meet 'Bob’ the hedgehog, this young girl comes out to tell us about their extra sensitive ears and can we all keep quiet so that Bob doesn’t get too frightened? Yep, all of the 30 odd toddlers got this bit for sure *rolls eyes and the young girl had no control over them! Erin was whispering how worried she was about Bob because 'these kids are not quiet’ I sat very very glad that we had passed this bloody stressful stage in parenting! That said, little Bob coped well and will be released back into the wild this week. I predict little Bob will be a very happy little hedgehog away from the farm!

I collected Mum for Easter dinner today and she is doing well, she is still talking about leaving the home as she keeps getting a bill for the supposed 'care package’ that was taken away from her 7 months ago? £200 a month for hoovering, dishes and a shower? She has had none of it but is still being charged? Guess who is contacting a bloody care manager this Tuesday?! Here we go again! Erin and I did take the staff a bucket full of rice crispie cakes that we made this morning, so at least they have a bit of a sugar rush with their coffee! Husband cooked and I took Mum back to the home at 5pm. Norton is my leach at the moment (actually; hes always my leach) and he watched me intently as I got Mum into the car - I told him I wouldn’t be long (as you do) and drove off. As I drove back down the lane 10 minutes later, there is Norton, half way up the bloody lane having a good sniff around and no one else has noticed he is missing! Erin tries to round him up but he has no collar on (due to the throat tumour) and he is too deaf to hear me calling him! Erin gets in a panic and starts crying so I leave the car and fetch him but he is wet and covered in mud? He had a good ten minutes of freedom but lord only knows what he was doing!

Erin delights in running into Dad and asking if he is missing something?! What a week! A beautiful week to be fair; which I really don’t want to end but reality is happening and I need to do a job search for some more hours! I’m not gonna get that little 4x4 anytime soon otherwise! The only thing I will not miss is the snoring, because quite frankly if I hadn’t have come downstairs last night at 3am I would have smothered the fooker with a pillow! Roll on undisturbed sleep is all I can say!

Have a great week all. Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

Dentists, hygienists, children & a hot tub?!

Ahh the weekend of madness seemed to pass in a blur which left me entertaining two children of quite awkward ages to myself. Erin seems to have taken on Cory’s old role of bickering with Dad when he’s home, I don’t understand what this stuff is all about and I didn’t with Cory but I am pleased to say, that stage has passed for him, but; Erin seems to have fitted right in where he left off?! This makes for stressy weekends again where I seem to want all three of my darlings to shut the fook up! I still need that week in Mauritius! Any takers? Insert begging emoji. (If there is one, if there isn’t, there needs to be!).

Anyway, Dad safely back to base and I have Cory’s best mate over for a sleepover. Two 14 year old lads are pretty easy to entertain, just give them food and a TV, where they watched some very important wrestling tournaments and they were happy, made their own beds up and just needed a prompt to clean their teeth following all the sugar that had consumed. The lads even let Erin watch some matches and a few Xbox games. Easy.

The next day Erin has a friend over and ye gods us girls are a different kettle of fish indeed ‘can we go out?’ 'Can we have a water fight?’ 'Can we have the wifi password for musically?’ 'Can we make some cakes?’ Seriously?! Girls are bloody hard work. A few hours and a lemon cake later I drop other little angel home and send Erin off to shower whilst I tidy up and contemplate my soak in the bath after she has finished. Once I get into my bath, I can’t tell you how angry I was that she has used the last shampoo and conditioner and I am resigned to fooking Lynx Africa again; but not only that, she has also used my face wash as her bloody 'slide’ grrrrr she is 10years old?! For how long do I need to keep all this stuff out of reach? It’s ridiculous and yes; perfect parents out there - I can assure you I have told her until I’m blue in the bloody face?! I am not quite sure what possesses this daughter of mine sometimes! Bang goes the calm bath anyway and I am trying to stay strong for tomorrow’s dental appointment! (Mauritius please?!).

It’s the Easter holidays and I have agreed a 9am dental hygienist appointment?! But, as I have said before - you get what you’re given in this NHS dental malarkey. I of course anticipate a long appointment where I am bad, bad, parent (even badder than the previous bad) and Erin and I wait for the hygienist to call us in. 9am and out comes this smiley, lovely friendly little (5ft ish) lady? Now this was quite unexpected and we follow her through to this little room where she chats to Erin the whole way? Flip, this is totally unexpected and coupled with that, Erin is answering and giggling with her?! We sit down and she tells Erin that 'Iv have read your notes sweetheart and you don’t like us dental people much do you?’ Erin shakes her head and they both giggle where hygienist agrees that she doesn’t either but….and in the loveliest, gentlest way, without patronising Erin, or indeed me! She gets Erin to talk about why she is scared. Erin is at ease and just does everything this lovely lady asks without hesitation - even a tiny little poky brush went in her mouth to brush on blue dye to see how well she brushes! Well, doesn’t it show that if you treat someone with compassion and understanding you can get through the biggest barriers?! Not rocket science is it? Erin can be very particular and if someone treats her with contempt then she is very liable to shunt them. (Can’t imagine who she takes after?!).

Anyway after such a successful dental day we set off happily to karate, when I got home there was a message on my answer machine from Mum it went “Hello, Mille I’m leaving a message as I am very worried. I have been really unwell and my breathing is slow and I have no pulse, can you call me back to tell me what you think?” Now, even the children are giggling at this one; I desperately try not to show my giggles in front of them but, we can all see the funny side to this one. Of course I send children to get ready for bed, text the husband the funny side and then call Mum. I do feel I disappointed her greatly by not training as a GP but alas I just didn’t have the brain for it; however I find myself calmly telling her what any good GP without a clue might say “it’s probably just viral” and I tell her I will call the care staff and ask them to pop up. She was scared she might die in the night and no one would know…bless her. After half an hour I get through to a lovely sounding care assistant - shame we never really meet the night teams in these places. She promises to go straight up and see her.

I take Erin with me the next day, (I have no choice) but Mum seems a little frailer than usual. I take her pulse to reassure her but I think it’s a little erratic for my liking, (ongoing problem) but I of course tell her 'it’s fine’ she is more concerned that she has no milk and 'bits’ so I say Erin and I will ponder up to the precinct and get some essentials for her. Oh my days, out comes a list as long as my arm and I decide to take the car as I will not manage to carry all of this alone with Erin! Oh and by the way I asked if Jane had been to see her last night and she said 'Oh was that her name? She was so lovely, I’ve never seen her before but she made me a decaf coffee and I must have settled to sleep’ (I know these care staff are good). Anyway onto half an hours shopping to get what I must observe was a lot of bloody ice cream and then another hour and her flatlet thing, cleaned and hoovered with all the shopping put away I ask the staff if they could also check her pulse as I thought it was erratic. I left it in their capable hands. She had a hospital appointment this Monday but I can’t take her so it has been rearranged for the following week, coupled with Erin’s orthodontics appointment and here’s me wondering why it’s difficult to remember anything?!

That said, this week should see calmness in my world returned as the husband comes home today and we are set on a little hot tub and summer house project! #haterbackoff

Have a lovely weekend all. Mille xx

[mille-at-home]

Dental disaster.

The dental disaster/s whichever way round I write about the dentist recently it appears to be a disaster so Tuesday was no different story. Firstly I had a call on Monday to confirm I would be at the surgery for 10am. It is a good job they did call as the surgery we had to attend was in Newton abbot! No, I hadn’t been told this and indeed I checked with the husband who was also present at the last ‘specialist’ dental appointment in our home town and he confirmed I am not going crackers and that we were not told it was in Newton abbot! That said it was no problem and we arrived ten minutes early for the appointment and waited 50 minutes to be called through.

A little lad had been in before us and obviously had the same fears as Erin, as mum stood quite clearly stressed with the screaming 6-7yr old next to her they made another appointment where mum like me, was desperately trying to get an after school appointment for next month. It wasn’t happening; reception said that the next appointment at 4.40pm was November - mum protested he needed treatment before then so the two were at a Mexican standoff. Reception lady just smiles that sarcastic sickly sweet smile of ‘and WTF do you expect me to do about school times?!’ Sort of smile. Like most Mum’s she gives in and just takes what’s is given to her but asks that they right it down as the school will not be happy with appointments in their time. You just can’t win this mum stuff eh?! I really did feel her pain!

Erin next and although we had a long wait, she had sat perfectly calm with me in the waiting area discussing many things in life apart from dentists and it was oddly quite a good little girly catch up time. Erin clocked the same short sharp ‘specialist’ dentist as last time and whispered 'oh god not her again’ and I quietly shh her, but the accompanying nurse was indeed an angel. Now this is where the specialism is, with the nursing staff - not the dentists it seems! (This is my opinion) Erin sat in the chair whilst they explained they need to take X-rays to find out what is going on with her tooth. Erin is having none of it and tears start to flow and her breathing is speeding up! I let the nurse do her calming soothing stuff but it’s not working. The dentist resorts to using the gas to 'put her out’. (Or is that shut her up?!) Nope…can’t get near her with a mask either and the distress is painful to watch - I offer to wait outside in case my presence is worsening the situation, but that is a no go too. All credit to the nurse, she tried her best.

Dentist and nurse go to the back of the room whilst Erin sits on my lap to try and calm down. I can see Dentist is really irritated and short and tells Erin they “only want an X-ray, it’s not difficult Erin” so she says she will have to refer (that bloody word) her back to Torbay for X-ray? I reiterate as I told them last time that she had one in December, why send her back for another as its not helping the anxiety. Dentist goes to back of room again in discussion with nurse, then asks for Erin’s date of birth. It turns out they have the wrong date of birth which is why they can’t find the X-rays I’m on about! *facepalm One click with the correct date of birth and voila! A full X-ray of Erin’s upper and lower gnashers! Dentist ushers us over to look but Erin sits with nurse still sniffling. She/we can’t see if there is a filling needed as the shadow is too small but whichever way we look at it, there is a tooth trying to come through but there is no room. It appears that this little tooth is crammed in too tight and this shadow could just be a pip or bit of food stuck but the tooth is crooked. Next thing is for the dentist to just have a look herself with the mirror. Easy solution but Erin will not let this women near her mouth, we try to encourage that she holds her lip up but she won’t do that either. Then I remember the alcohol gel of hers in my bag and say if she uses that, can she do it then? This works and Erin agrees.

Dentist and nurse look at each other perplexed and probably wondering if my daughter has OCD that bad that they need to do a psychiatric assessment instead of a tooth investigation so I explain….Erin spent the first four years of her life rather poorly with sickness due to an undiagnosed nut allergy, she goes to a beautiful school but there are nut tress in the grounds so I have always told her to wash her hands to avoid allergic reactions. It’s just something she has had to be pretty careful about I guess but I have made her that way, rather than see her suffer with the terrible reaction to nuts. They simultaneously breathe a sigh of understanding (or relief perhaps) and actually soften a little when I say that unfortunately a poor diet came with the allergy, if your child is underweight and suffering sickness and a biscuit is all they can stomach and/or coupled with dry snacky foods then that’s the kind of diet that turned quite normal for her until she was diagnosed. There is a reason for many things and I take responsibility for that; but by helping one problem, I indeed clearly created another.

Anyway, she did let the dentist have a look at said tooth, but she could not see anything due to the tooth being crooked so guess what? She has referred (yes, bloody referred) her to orthodontics to see if this tooth just needs to come out regardless as she needs a brace, not before bemoaning that they should have seen this at the hospital and asked me why they hadn't taken it out when she went in in December? (I don't know - I'm no dentist?!) The long and short of it is, she has a tiny, tiny mouth and no room for a full set of teeth! So here I go again, one is off (well one more appointment left) the orthodontics list and another is about to embark on the 3 monthly visits for the next 2 years! (Arghhh) We wait patiently for the referral!!!

Ahhhh and it’s only Wednesday?

#passthewine #passthehusband

[mille-at-home]

Just a witter.

I guess as parents evenings go last weeks was a success. I reiterated Erin's fears about being in 'bottom set' at secondary but her teachers feels confident this will not be the case and agrees that the one to one help she has received this term has moved her own very quickly. I hate to be the bitch to say "I told you so" but if the tiara fits and all that, I'm gonna wear that sparkle like a pro! Anyways; Ofsted apparently pulled them up on the way the service pupil premium has been spent i.e. Not on the individual it is intended for. So, my only gripe is that the fall out with the then headteacher was pointless and she should have had the additional help four years ago when I first raised concerns that she didn't seem to be progressing, she fell behind when Dad was in the sandy land but that is always to be expected, Year 5 seems a little late but it's the best we have. I am thankful that she is now getting some help and hats off to her current teacher who is and has been great with her and I just hope that it is not too late. Erin has the cast off and is looking forward to getting back to her beloved sports and guitar! She has been very very nervous about her St John's first aid assessment this week as she hasn't been able to practice CPR on the adult dummy. I thank Sue and husband Sam, (if she reads this) for loaning us a Resus Annie as she has practiced every night so far. She even took Annie into theatre school as the multitalented dance teacher offered to 'faint' and give her a hand...all out assessment is that she will do great, she just has to raise her voice! So I have told her to think about being on stage, remember what the drama teacher says and go for it. Here's hoping it goes well as I have done everything I can to boost that confidence. Richie and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary on Friday with a night in, in PJ's ahhh it's a wild army life this married unaccompanied malarkey! Besides I was working the following day and all those kids and a headache is not my idea of fun! Preparations are underway for the summer show - written by the other multitalented drama teacher and it is great fun (that's all I am saying) although, watching some try to sing 'Holding out for a hero' this week was a bit painful. Shows age when they just don't know the song eh? I wanted to get up there and help them belt it out but...it's alright; I sang it in my head!! I know my place. (Insert laughing emoji) Mother's Day was calm, well aside from my bathroom disaster - I bought some glitter paper for the bathroom (got to have a little bling somewhere) anyway, I spent a few hours putting this stuff up but it just looks like fooking tin foil on the walls, so I took it back down as it didn't dry any better! I also painted the woodwork in the darker grey I love, but none of it matches in with the stone and bronze tiles. I am currently in a fallout with the bathroom and I am trying to ignore it, I know it won't go away but at the moment it is sitting half done, half not and I refuse to give it any more of my time until I have scoured white sparkle pvc cladding! This was supposed to be 'a quick job' it's taken me longer than the x3 bedrooms and a hall that I have done so far! So Mother's Day was calm (ish) perhaps. My mum came for dinner, she at least gets dressed on some occasions and she had her dinner and desert and wanted to go straight back home as always - but she is content in her quiet room. Richie did all the cooking and washing and everything else whilst I had my tin foil meltdown and the 'grrr' moment as I had to cancel my keyboard lesson to get Erin to the dentist today, but it's ok whilst I have my little 'grrr' moments he calmly informs me that; when he is at the next posting he fancies (yes, fancies) a trip to Africa, where he can help maybe build a school or something for a few weeks?! A few weeks? Well...I laughed and I laughed. I know I should celebrate the fact that he wants to help these children go to school etcetera, etcetera and it's a lovely thing to do and all that but I can't help but hold those wasps in and say 'that's nice dear' whilst thinking what a lucky fooker you are to have me! Full stop. Happy Mother's Day eh?! The dental disaster update will continue tomorrow - I need sleep. Good night xx

[mille-at-home]

A Wednesday witter.

This weekend marriage malarkey certainly seems to be over like a puff of smoke! We were supposed to get a tip run in and buy a shoe cabinet for the newly decorated hall but alas time was against us as always and before we know it, he has to go back! All in all though, the weekend was quite a success - Erin actually managed her first sleepover at a school friends house! This is indeed a big achievement for her, Richie and I had a 40th birthday party to go to and by 10pm we were quite settled with texts that all was quiet at said friends house. Well, we had wine at the party after that and celebrated Erin’s new barrier broken. Richie and I had a little table for two for a while and chatted about many military family fears, this did us the world of good, whilst i danced he spent much of the night chatting to 'Adam Ant' and lushing a bit over my friends, husbands Top Gun fly suit!! Well, he joined the RAF at the beginning of his career - secretly, I think he still wants to be that fighter pilot saving the world, whereas I am quite happy with Wonder Women, I have the outfit although there is little time to change into it for the school runs and besides all those red call boxes have all but disappeared around the country, so where’s a girl to spin and change in private now huh?!

Talking of wonder women, I am after my own pink drill, I’m told you can get them but drilling is something I don’t do. I am scared of hitting water pipes or something. I did it once whilst he was in Afghanistan and ended up burning my finger (don’t ask) and filling and sanding the hole I made, (he’s never noticed) so this has always been the mans job; however, I am getting brave (this could worry the husband) and I have my eye on a rather large project! In the meantime I have been left to collect the shoe cabinet - we have one which we have had since we married but it only holds 12 pairs of shoes, this was fine B.C. So I have this idea that if we get the same one and attach it to the other one, then attach it to the wall we have double the space and I can upcycle the yucky colour. I decide that carrying said unit from the store to the multi-story car park is beyond Wonder Women’s strength though and I have hereby officially admitted defeat on this - sometimes we do indeed, just need a man!

I can help our daughter though! She has really had a confidence setback and it worries me. She had a beautiful report for all her skills at school - truly lovely to read she is such a good, kind character with a strong sense of right and wrong. Funnily enough both children have had this written from reception, *note I do something right! Anyway that said; she is below average in all of her subjects? Yes, all of them. This annoys me somewhat as I remember sitting with the then headteacher, when she was in reception saying she struggled (particularly in math) and that the service pupil premium is designed to have some additional help. I was brushed off with its up to the school where they spend the 'very little amount' that is given by the MOD, the long and short of it was she refused to give Erin additional help as she said she didn’t need it! The set SPP goes into the pot of money for all on PP! (Should be kept seperate) Talk and brick wall spring to mind but each year I have raised the same question and each year been fobbed off, you are made to feel like a fussy parent who has no idea. (I am no primary school teacher, so this is quite right) This year Erin has had additional help with math as I raised that dreaded question to her class teacher yet again. I am really happy that she is now having it, I just think it’s clearly too little too late! She has one year left at primary school and she is now very very scared that she will be in bottom set. I am scared for her too, so big brother is trying to rescue her and helping her with work starting this week. The long and short of it is - we will have to pay a tutor to get her level on average and more importantly raise that confidence.

This week Erin has a mock assessment for her level II first aid certificate - she is doing well but her written mock test paper last week she scored low and on her practical assessment as she has no confidence I’m told. She knows what she has to do but her voice is not loud enough in assessment?! She has also been unable to practice adult CPR with the broken wrist so she is scared she is going to be “the only one to fail”. She came down to us over the weekend after searching Amazon declaring that she really really wanted a doll and it was only £200! Dad and I almost choked on our tea - for the love of God, I always wanted this girl to have a doll but a Resusitation Annie doll? “No” was the unanimous answer but I set about asking friends for ideas - I am borrowing an Annie on Friday for her so at least she has a week to practice before the big test! The things we do eh?! Got to love social media too!

It’s Wednesday and I spent last night soothing Erin about today’s dental appointment, this is the specialist dental team (I use the term loosely) and it is now the third time they have cancelled at the last minute! Remember the hoo haa when I forgot one appointment time and they threw me off the list with a stern patronising letter about wasting NHS time and money?! 11.20pm last night she finally settled, anxiety and worrying about going - I was comforter, water carrier, tooth cleaner, TV control unit, duvet straightener and resident psychiatric nurse with exhaustion but she slept. I am up in anticipation of taking Cory to school at 8am due to the rain and trying to remain calm for Erin. She is worrying upon waking and I soothe her with the patience of mother Theresa before getting her breakfast. The phone rings at 7.50am and it’s the bloody dentist cancelling the appointment as they “have problems this morning” they will call back later to rearrange! Oh my bloody days - Erin is ecstatic to go straight to school, meanwhile I hotfoot into town to try and change dentists all round! I have found our old very good surgery and begged her for spaces, perhaps she took pity on my tears (of frustration) and told me to come back in two weeks with a wink wink! I am there!!!

All I can say is, with my recent and quite traumatic experiences of the NHS. I am concerned myself for its future!

I think I need the dojo tonight, it’s either that or wine and I think I prefer the dojo! That’s is all.

Have a good week all. Mille xx

#marriedunaccompanied #armywife #nhs #dentist #school #servicepupilpremium

[mille-at-home]

Moshiuke hai!

I just need to go with the mothering instincts a little more, Cory came home last week with a pair of school shoes as he put it ‘totally wrecked’ he wasn’t wrong and a quick fix by Dad to last just one more day was suffice. The toes had pulled apart and the metal plates were poking through. Husband offers to take him into town whilst I am at work and purchase new shoes (fabulous, I don’t have to do this job) I tell husband he has obviously gone up a size although I don’t think he wanted to accept his son now had the same size feet as him! Anyway the boy’s return with a lovely new pair of shoes and assure me he hadn’t gone up a size and all was well. Ok I accepted I was wrong.

Monday morning and husband has gone back to base, I am getting sorted for work and Cory is having a meltdown at 7.30am because he can’t get the new shoes on! I try every which way of loosening the laces, stretching the backs, bending the middles but to no avail. “Wear your black high top ones for today and I will send you in with a note” a stern “No way, I will still get a DT” is the reply. I can help no more with this early morning monster who is not even listening to any verbal reasoning and so he goes, off to school with his feet utterly squashed into a pair of shoes too small! I go to work and collect a similar pair in a larger size on the way home. He is happy with the new shoes and breathes a sigh of relief that the new ones do not rub, could be something to do with the big blisters he is now sporting on his heels mind, but Husband insists the shoes fitted fine on Saturday and ‘Cory said they were fine’, I suspect dads don’t do the whole walk around and let me check where your toes are bit? so unless he has grown those feet in two nights (quite possible) Mum thinks she should really have just done this job herself.

It’s got a little weird on our MU page I have to say with an awful lot of wives returning to MQ’s arghh! We have never been to MQs so I don’t really understand the difference but there are a few struggling with the separation. It’s certainly not easy that’s for sure but sometimes (a lot of times really) I doubt my choice. Everything just seems such a struggle - many buy places to settle before a partner leaves and that seems to have a goal in sight but….damn!

If I had met Richie in my early twenties whilst I was renting my cruddy damp bedsit’s for winter/summer lets and working days and nights in a care home on poor pay, just to pay the rent on my damp basement bedsits then just maybe, I would be that women wanting to go to MQ but as it stood, I had done this bit and when we met I was earning a good wage with adult provision and at 29 years old was renovating my second flat. (He really did know what he was getting). So perhaps it is just pure circumstances that keep us apart, or property? Maybe it’s just the bricks and mortar? Believe me, he would be a happy man if we went to MQ with him, it is really what he wants more than anything but….well the rest has been explained. I might just have to step away from the page until people move! (Doesn’t help the Catholic guilt syndrome).

Onto bricks and mortar and the house is looking pretty good in my eyes, I have completed the hall this week and have a few accessories only to add but the next room to sort out will be the 'spare’ room, it is currently unrecognisable as Erin’s old room as it is stacked to the ceiling with boxes! Easter leave will require a good bonfire at the back we think!

Erin is far more comfortable now she is in a cast and is starting to be able to use her fingers without pain now so all is healing well, she is disappointed though as she can’t do karate and/or football (as instructed by hospital) so she has to sit out and watch, although everyone in class last night was telling me others train in casts 'I did it’ 'so and so did it’ so maybe some gentle excercise next week will be a good starting place. Today there was a football tournament day for the girls and boys football team at another school and she was very upset that she wasn’t part of that but as timings go, there is little we can do for it. (Insert sad face emoji).

The next very sad face emoji award goes to me - the 'next is brown’ training is on Mothering Sunday at 9am in Exeter? It is also our anniversary weekend where we cancelled our planned child free night due to me wanting to be at home with both of my children. (FFS timings?!) So I have a whinge (as you do) about 1) The day 2) The cost of additional day and travel (how the heck to I drive past Newton abbot in my tin can) and 3) Erin and I made a pact we do it together but we have to get to the next 3 additional Saturday or Sunday extra training sessions to be put forward! This really gets me in a pissy! I am politely told that 'so and so can get there’ 'I will be there’ 'she will be there’ 'Perfect Petra will be there and she has 20 kids and is single’ well…with my calculations it’s back to the never, never for that next grade or maybe by November/December after watching everyone else pass us by again! I except that I need to know my Japenese language better, combinations and all the rest but I struggle with cramming additional stuff into an already tight weekend schedule, Its a hobby! A great Hobby at that, to which I am wholly committed and willing to learn but; I have a little weekend life that is very important to spend as a family plus all the other bits and its damn expensive!

I came back from a fantastic training session, deflated, unmotivated and a bit pissy, (sorry Dana) not a great combination and I really hate being that whinge bitch but….#passthebloodywine&Iwillshutthefookup *facepalm

[mille-at-home]

I am thinking this is about as close as I will get to brown belt! The force is against us - is someone trying to tell us something out there? *sighs #timings #karate #disappointment #lostmojointhedojo

[mille-at-home]

'Mother is always right'

Mothering instincts huh? These should just never be belittled or quashed. Husband arrived home yesterday at 6.15pm in readiness for today’s follow up clinic appointment with Erin, now after Tuesday’s escapade and he being the ‘me man’ protector he was fuming at our last experience of A&E so booked the day off - he on Tuesday wanted to ‘complain’ about the Haitola we had had the pleasure of dealing with however, I told him in no uncertain terms to leave it and we will see what happens on Friday. If there is a break then I will do this myself.

The man being the man, didn’t listen to wifey’s simple but quite strict instructions and informed me at 6.45pm that he had in fact phoned and lodged a complaint about said nurses attitude. (Hmnnnn!!!!) I was just a little bit pissy with him; under my own admissions, but he timed it just right as I had to go for some fun singing with a new little group set up! There was no time to be too pissy and by the time I had spent 2 hours having a little giggle, I had calmed down. The long and short of it being that he was offered two types of complaint 1) The informal complaint - this entails a low key ‘word in the shell like’ and a 'don’t do it again’ and all will be brushed under the carpet and we hear nothing else. Or 2) A formal complaint where it entails other further up the chain people to have a 'word in the shell like’ and a 'don’t do it again’ but we are notified of the ticking off and it’s all brushed under the carpet.

Husband is on a mission but I again tell the bloody fooker to wait until today. He is convinced that the A&E staff will not know a complaint has been forwarded, I on the other hand; know exactly how it all works! We are booked in and sit in the very quiet department discussing why the hell there is a little glass cubicle housing a triage nurse and a HCA, with a keypad on one side of this cubicle box thing when you just walk round the other side and it’s all open? (Kept us amused) We also ponder why they waffle on about patient confidentiality as a little old chap is signed in to the reception, we know where he lives, that the mobile number he has on his record is not his and he doesn’t have a mobile but he goes straight around to the 'box’ and everyone sitting can hear that he has been on antibiotics but can’t breathe very well, the nurse asks 'have you seen your GP for this sir?’ He says “No dear, I haven’t the time for that” so, he is seated and taken for bloods awaiting to be seen by a doctor. All dealt with so beautifully and professionally by the lovely duty nurses. So where did I go wrong?

We are not big NHS users and to be fair if Haitola had looked at Erin’s notes (or mine, Richie or Cory for that matter) she would see that we are not in there every week, we are not living life dangerously (ok give or take his job) but nor are we taking unnecessary risks (ok, give or take his job) nor are we drinking excessively or dependant on anything but each other! (Cripes! Did I write the word dependant *insert sticky out tongue emoji).

Anyway aside from anything else my daughter is in severe pain upon movement of said 'unbroken, just - tissue damaged limb’. We are called through by the consultant (very nice chap) and he shakes Richie’s hand? Then mine? (Husband still thinks they haven’t had the heads up?! Lol) He is great with Erin (and us) but can clearly see that she is in severe pain when her wrist I’d moved, it also appears to be bent at an angle and she can’t straighten it up for him without pain. He proceeds to gently and thoroughly explain that this small little bone, often associated with a wrist injury of the goalie kind can often be missed in the usual X-ray in children due to the bones not actually being fused together yet. He had looked at her X-ray and it is probable that the wrist is indeed broken. None of us are really bothered we just want Erin to be comfortable. I am just a little bit fooking smug under my breath as I bloody knew that something wasn’t right!!! Anyway a swift and quite lovely set of people at fracture clinic have given Erin a choice of colours and she has gone for the Barcelona red cast and is much happier pain free! That is all that was needed.

Husband and I dropped Erin back off to school and went into town for a much needed bucket of Costa latte! (Shhhh, serious syn) We have pottered in town together, had a mooch in a few second hand shops for a small corner cabinet and quite frankly had an altogether lovely day! Well, there has to be a little bit of a positive for the weekend huh? Love him really and although I think he is a bloody law unto himself who has taken very little notice of what I have ever said to him, I’d just like to remind him in writing that I really do feel his pain! *insert winky emoji!

When we collected Erin we got chatting to another Mum, stood with her daughter in a leg cast who has had the exact same experience with Haitola that we had! Telling her daughter to 'get up and walk’ and refusing a cast or crutches when in fact Mum was right on that occasion too and she took her back to A&E a few days later to find that daughter had indeed, broken her foot! Her daughter (younger than Erin) had spent days with a broken foot whilst she pondered dramatics like I had and her little girl was a scared as Haitola as Erin and I!

Haitola really needs that 'patient care’ update me thinks!

May I take this time to give a thumbs up to Erin who has been in a splint for ten days in severe pain, when in fact she has a broken wrist! Now that people is one little trooper!

Have a good weekend all xx

[mille-at-home]

Haitola!!

I ended last week rather nicely, with a coat donation to Erin’s school. I have a few that the children have outgrown I spotted the ‘old’ black coat which has been hanging for over a year on the peg. It’s too small for Cory so I took it up to the primary school to pass on, “it’s like new” I declared to the office staff “please pass it on to someone who needs one.” Coat donations are greatly accepted and I promise, that once I find the others I will pass them on too. On Friday it’s raining a little and Cory has gotten out of the wrong side of the bed regardless; but moaning he can’t find his coat?! 'Oh fook’ I thought! (I didn’t actually tell him my thoughts) and I tentatively sent him without saying I would find it! Erin at least waited for him to leave before gleefully informing me; “You gave it to Mrs M yesterday mum” Oh my days, I assumed he had worn it to school that day and besides, the little maid agreed yesterday that that, one was too small! Hmn! Thankfully I could reclaim said coat that day and Cory is still none the wiser that his coat had been on a little day release! (Office staff thought hilarious too!).

Over the weekend we have been busy painting Cory’s room as this Saturday is the carpet deadline, it’s been hectic but it’s certainly all coming together now. I am currently in search of a specific wallpaper for part of the hall but tonight we have finished Cory’s room, all I have to do tomorrow is paint two doors! The end is in sight. Husband has been pretty great too with all the paint and preparation. It’s a good job really because I’m not quite sure how I would have done it in time.

Erin’s wrist pain has just become steadily worse and worse over the weekend and last night she was up needing pain relief but this morning crying as she couldn’t move her hand to do up her buttons etc I helped her dress and she asked if she can go to the doctors again. I am completely new with this broken bone and/or physio anatomy, clearly she is in a lot of pain and has restricted movement, so I phone the number on her appointment card and ask if she could be seen earlier than Friday’s appointment. Whoever I spoke with just said to 'bring her in for check up if she is having problems’ There is no visual bruising or obvious injury so I can only go on what she is telling me. There is no panic or stress about this and I have my keyboard lesson as planned. (I am reading music pretty well again!).

I collect Erin from school and off we set, even going over speed bumps hurts her and I admittedly think perhaps there is something else going on, either that or she has a zero tolerance pain threshold but I don’t know. We are seen by a lovely triage nurse, Erin in wincing in pain at every movement and sent back to wait an hour for minor injuries. It’s not horrendously busy in the waiting area, people just like us with minor injuries all going swiftly through a triage nurse to be seated back in the same place to wait for another nurse. (An upside down system if you ask me) Anyway, we are called in to minor injuries, we are the only ones in the vast cubicle area and a little curt nurse tells Erin to 'sit’ pointing to a chair and proceeds to tell us off “You were seen by my colleague last week, there is no break its just soft tissue damage, have you had pain relief today?” I’m a little taken aback with the way she has spoken to Erin/us and tell her not this morning, it only hurts when she moves it and she has been at school:

Haitola (nurse) “Why hasn’t she had pain relief, isn’t it obvious if you are in pain you take pain relief” Me “Because she has been at school, I brought her straight here” Haitola “Why haven’t the school given medication? Did you not supply any for her? Why didn’t she have it first thing?”

This sort of attitude does my tremor the world of good I can tell you and I am starting to panic and want to cry at my bad mum skills (yet again) so I tell her the school can’t give medication unless it’s prescribed by a doctor, it’s off the shelf calpol. Haitola then offers Erin some pain relief - which Erin refuses. (She will not have anything outside of home, not even a chocolate as she is scared it may contain nuts, this is just her safety thing) so Haitola waves her hands about and tells Erin “Well, if you don’t help yourself, what do you expect us to do about it?” Erin is as silent as me and I try to say we have an appointment on Friday but phoned to…she cut me off with “It’s just a follow up, routine appointment for a consultant review that we do for all soft tissue damage patients, what did you expect you could walk in and get a consultant to see you?”

Ye Gods…there is a song I am silently humming to myself by Pink with the line 'I was gonna call the nurse again, but she’s being a little bitch’ this one needs a little retraining or a bedside manner refreshment course, either that or change her role to something that doesn’t involve bloody patients - people even.

She told us to keep the Friday appointment but didn’t look at Erin, a waffle of “You have a provided support, we can’t cast it” and some stupid CT scan suggestion?! (Think this was the sarcastic bitch in her) What can you do when being given such a nice short, sharp telling off? Yes, we both unanimously gathered our bags and I mumble 'Sorry for wasting your time’ she says (rather patronisingly) that we are welcome to sit and wait hours to see a consultant if that’s what we want?! (Bitch) But we decline such a kind offer and go! Erin is crying on the way home and I am silently wiping tears at the utter humiliation! I am really hoping on the drive home that some clever fook comes up with an app for X-Ray’s next, imagine it; a DIY X-ray app?! It would certainly reduce the need for A&E and plaster cast is easy to buy online too, it’s the way forward I reckon! (OK, OK now I’m being a sarcastic bitch) I don’t have X-ray vision so I have no idea what is going on in that wrist so I have had to go to NHS for help - my bad huh! Guaranteed if I sat on Friday saying how much pain and discomfort Erin had been in, I’d have been labelled a bad mother for NOT taking her back sooner!

The only good thing to come out of this is the husband has taken Friday off to come with us! That’s the protective streak coming out I guess, I coped fine today considering; but he knows I don’t do biatches or confrontation very well nowadays so hats off to him, I didn’t ask or expect him to take the time out. Go Husband! Since Cory’s disastrous report week last week, (he received 1’s every day for every subject) he has been a little tetchy (Cory not Richie) and seems to be needing, missing and talking a lot about his Dad, tonight he wants to save some money to buy him a gift as 'he does so much for us’ (awe) The gift he wants to get him mind, requires another job for me I reckon, but I have promised we can do it. Perhaps this is the time that he is going to need him more?! Whatever it is, in my book - it’s good that they are both relying more on him as that feels far more like a job share to me and even from afar, he is doing his best to help - I actually couldn’t ask for more.

Anyways, I have painted a wall several different colours with the help of Cory and Erin tonight and now all calm I went for my relaxing soak in the bath. I then remembered what I was supposed to get today - shampoo and conditioner! So my hair is washed in Lynx Africa and feels like straw but……I would #passthehusband but that wish has been granted so maybe I need to try #passthewine instead! (Damn! that’s a bloody syn!)

Have a good week all! Mille X

[mille-at-home]

School days & A&E.

On my way back from work on Friday I had a lovely phone call from Cory’s head of year to say he had been issued ‘a card’ for exceptional effort and above and beyond grade for his maths. ‘Please give him support and praise at home’ goes without saying that we were very proud and did just that, Cory was even happier when I hinted that maybe that game he was after could be on the way if he keeps it up. (He doesn’t ask for much) Anyway, on Monday I had a few missed calls and texts from a distressed and rather upset Cory to say he was on report - for effort? It turns out he was just called to the Hub and put on report as his effort levels were below average. This goes on effort AND attendance, his orthodontics and physiotherapy sessions have required a morning or afternoon out of school which counts as a whole day?! I try my best to get them out of school hours but he doesn’t like Erin to be at these sessions with him because….well I’m not sure why, just sibling privacy I guess?! So it is not the easiest task in the world for me to arrange for the most part, I take what I am given.

Cory was completely demotivated and pretty angry that he has been moved down on the display board in the school hall, to the bottom 28 in his year for effort and although I rang to find out what was going on, I had no return call so Richie got on the case. It transpires that the same teacher who gave him praise on Friday did some sums over the weekend (possibly after a bottle of wine) and although Cory is predicted A - A* in his core subjects there are some subjects like cultural beliefs (don’t get me started) and PE that he is cruising at a B and could do better?! I kid you not?! We are all for giving a kick up the bum but heck, what an arse about face way of doing it and to top it all after telling Richie ‘what an intelligent boy’ he is, they didn’t actually think to talk and explain to Cory why he was on report?! So I have had a very moody, upset and downright low teen in the house for two days which only lifted last night after I fed it lots of food and made pancakes with chocolate spread on top! Hats off to Richie though, I can’t moan I have been dealing with this - Dad is on the case! (Insert smiley emoji) Meanwhile I may write and ask the school if they could have a polite word with the NHS about booking all appointments out of school hours - just for their bloody 'attendance records’ I reckon that should work eh?!

It’s a good job I don’t really have a real job because this struggle is real guys, it really is. Whilst I was trying to sort this mess and Cory’s tears out yesterday I also had to get Erin and x3 other girls to a very important football match after school. The girls team are getting pretty strong and although Erin hates being in goal, she is damn good at it. She was supposed to be striker this week but the goalie went sick, Erin steps in; albeit a little disappointed she saved a great shot which resulted in a tinge of pain last night and more this morning. Mum being the bad mum that she is, ponders the theatre schools great teaching at times as I genuinely can’t tell real from drama. I decide drama as I have much to do and put a support bandage on to make her feel fussed and send her to school as usual after having a word with the class teacher we agree strategy of fuss and it will pass. 11.45am I am mid stair well gloss paint, when I get a call to take some pain relief in. I whip up to school armed with calpol (magic stuff) and a medicine spoon in my painting clothes and still feel a little like a good mum, a little guilty that I didn’t bring her home when I see the little tears starting but….I continue and finish said hall of gloss paint, change and boil the kettle for a coffee before pick up and karate. 2.15pm the school phone to say she seems in a lot of pain and maybe it needs further checks. 2.30pm and we are signed in to A&E. (Sorry, but it’s the only way to check for broken bones) Dare I say that is was very quiet? Probably four of us in the main waiting area and we were seen by triage, X-ray, back to minor injuries in 2 hours! The staff are all wonderful but Erin almost goes into meltdown when asked 'who do you live at home with?’ She looks at me with bottom lip quivering “Does Dad?” I just nod & nurse distracts her with a bone chart. I suspect nurse probably wanted to know more really! Lol All in all though it was pretty good going. If everybody is listening to the 'don’t go to A&E’ bit then I reckon the staffing and department could be halved in no time if today was anything to go by! No obvious break to wrist but it’s not clear so she has a splint and has to return next Friday. (Arghhhh another attendance black cross!) No sports for a month?!!! Erin is not happy!

I get home in time to say 'Hi’ to other child who is much happier with his '1’ scores (highest score) in every subject and teacher so far on report and that most teachers are asking why he is even on report - this has boosted his confidence. Phew…There is no way on this earth I can get to karate as its a half hour window to cook, eat and change - it’s not happening. I put the oven on for the Wednesday pizza, (it’s quick on training days and relieves my stress levels for the timing). I wanted too, but didn’t phone Richie earlier; you know for that sort of advice that I know I don’t really need but wanted the back up anyway - to check maybe that I was doing the right thing?! I knew he was away from his base at another base miles away, at one of those important 'leave the phone at the door’ sort of meetings but texted as soon as we were home. Of course he calls straight away, just whilst I have discovered that the dog who ate half a dinner yesterday and was obviously slow and poorly had in fact puked over the sofa! (I will not tell him off - he’s poorly) I leave Erin to tell him what happened whilst I clean up and put the pizza in.

We finally sit down to eat and whilst the children tuck into a rather lovely looking pizza and cheese stuffed crust thing I am attempting an omelette stuffed with mushrooms! Only in my haste to not let the pizza burn, my omelette is now cleverly disguised as scrambled egg and I forgot to put the mushrooms in! It’s also way too early for wine and I can’t do the 'syn’ the night before weigh in. Tonight I’m thinking chunky and funky is the way forward but…I will not be beaten!

Richie phones again later, presumably for a decent conversation with me but Cory picks up the phone first, doing some pretty amazing foreign accent 'Hello, Hello, this is Reylon from Windows Microsoft. Sir, can I tell you have a virus on your computer and I want all of your bank details so that I can scam for blah blah blah…..“ Erin and I honestly can’t breathe for laughing! He’s happy and blip over! Phew. Did Richie get a conversation with us tonight? Bah! I don’t think so!!

Happy Wednesday all…Mille xx