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Wait I should play around with some "what if the evil teams won" aus. That could be fun

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you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

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demonic possession wouldn’t even affect me, i would just assume it’s The Symptoms

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Not even a smile for their master

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i love volo’s complete lack of sincerity like yessss dude only vaguely allude to what’s going on in your heart!!! cheerful business transactions and tryhard evil plans only!!! don’t you dare ask him any personal questions he will not answer!!! he will never ever be vulnerable! he hates and only wants to use you so much (lies)

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#needthat

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A little gift!

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a cute dress would save him, trust

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Me: I don't get it. I thought I was doing a lot better than I was a few years ago. I'm like 10 times more on top of things than I used to be. How does everything feel terrible now?

The Tiny Me in OSHA-approved Hi-Vis Gear Who lives in my brain and pulls all the levers: Boss, it's the fascism. You're completely gunked up with cortisol due to the fact that your entire daily life is now underscored with a haunting awareness of the rapid erosion of your rights, dignity, and any and all social safety nets, and you're also bearing witness to the most vulnerable people immediately being persecuted. This creates a natural stress response that basically means you're going to continue having memory and organizational problems, as well as emotional imbalances.

Me: BUT I HAVE A BULLET JOURNAL AND I MEDITATE NOW.

Tiny OSHA Me: BOSS, THE FASCISM.

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gagging you with our red string of fate to shut you up for one fucking second

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not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

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my take on the miss piggy/morticia addams sexywoman poll is that while morticia would lose gracefully, miss piggy would 1000% attempt murder over the label and morticia would respect her for it. then theyd go out for tea and gossip together

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She a little confused but she got the spirit

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i don't even understand why so many people struggle to understand nemona when she's. you. literally you.

like imagine yourself as a kid. imagine you're a fan of pokemon. you really like pokemon. so you get really good at it. but nobody else plays it. everyone in your class thinks you're a nerd when they hear you speak about natures and types and legendaries etc. so you're alone. playing pokemon. by yourself.

and then comes this new kid. and sits next to you and asks "what are you playing". and you say "pokemon". and they watch and they say "oh it looks cool". and then one week later they say they've bought the game and wants to play with you.

can you see it now? can you see yourself? explaining them about basic typ matchups. battling their current team (not with your real team though! that one is too strong! you build new teams to adapt to your friend's level). how happy you are because you finally have someone who's interested in what you like! how cool is when they finally beat the league and you get to battle him with your champion team! how you finally have someone you can call a friend!

that's it. that's nemona. plus some family and health issues.

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“i also choose this guy’s dead wife” was easily the #1 funniest thing to ever be written on the internet.