minus20arts

[minus20arts]

have you ever imagined, thought or felt that somehow there's a relativity regarding to someone(s). Like we're mean to be someone's friend, or mean to be something unknown yet - lover? hater? who knows. The word "relativity" seemed more fitted in this scenario, according to Cambridge Dictionary:

(IN PHYSICS) either of two theories of physics giving the relationship between space, time, and energy, especially for two objects moving in different ways.

(FORMAL) the state of being judged in comparison with other things and not by itself

this way, events in our lives is indeed a relative scenario that make sense why life's worked in certain way anyway.

random thoughts. i think im lacking of sleeping, my heart at unease.

[minus20arts]

Immeuble 1937 à Salt Lake City, UT, États-Unis. Architecte inconnu.(Photos homes com ; Grantrstevens ; Lovelyoldhomes, Zillow). - source Sally Jo.

[minus20arts]

listen, choosing, despite how lonely and difficult it may get, genuinely choosing to be loving and kind through the absolute disgusting misery of others and the world is a powerful tool. it's the truest form of selflessness. it's proving to others that they don't need to choose to be miserable. we lead by example, and falling into the pit of despair that the evil of this world wants you to wallow in always allows that evil to win. do not be, do not choose to be the thing you hate. do not choose to continue the leeching of misery as a "personality trait" simply because the world has been unkind to you. you can be depressed and still give love unconditionally.

believe in this, humans are just like you. some are genuinely, truly evil, but so many are good, and are either lost just like you or want to help you despite all things. we learn to navigate the truly evil and find those just like us. people are lessons in our life, meant to come and go, and clinging to the negativity instead of learning what we were meant to leads to the cycle of loathing towards others. we must learn from those that leave, and pursue the positive aspects of each relationship with every new person that comes into our life, be they romantic, platonic, or temporary like so many things. we are adults, maturing and growing with each day, and it's only building these walls we define as "safety" from others do we build true barriers from those meant to heal us.

if you can choose to believe that there is only hate in this world purely because its all you've experienced yet, then you can choose to believe in the beauty and wonder that exists too, and you can choose to believe that everyone deserves that peace ~ just like you do. life is unbelievably short, why spend it fighting against those that might need that love and support you're also missing, but don't know how to ask for it.

teach yourself kindness without expectations, because kindness always wants to prevail, but can't do so if you're stuck in blind, selfish, and bitter anger. learn what it truly means to be selfless, unconditionally kind. if you can see its what the world needs, hell, if you can see its what you're own personal life needs, why not be the start?

[minus20arts]

Some world-class #ArtDeco terra cotta from the Gramercy House in #Manhattan #NewYorkCity 235 E 22nd Street. 📸:me/10/2023

[minus20arts]

the only thing more powerful than a weird little girl is a weird middle aged woman. the only thing more powerful than a weird middle aged woman is a weird old lady. and the only thing more powerful than a weird old lady is a weird little girl. thus the world is balanced.

[minus20arts]

[minus20arts]

The odd is odding.

This might be the gen-z-iest way to put it.

To start off, I am truly grateful for whatever given to me by Allah SWT. I've calmer, happier, still dumb-de-dumb due my chemicals addicted with the feelings I had. But, I'm working on processing my feelings, tidying up my priorities, slapped by realities is best medicine for me hahaha.

Literally speaking, I think my addiction to taste, especially tea is worsening... I still drink water though, but I need to tone down.

Okay, back to the odd. I believe in praying, not manifesting. I believe I prayed for signs, but Allah always has the best way to impressed me. I kinda suprised yes, but impressed how all my denials towards my wishful thinking... somewhat come true.

I said denials because I somehow can feel like I might meet him, but I keep on my mind that I'm having a date with one of my girl friend and that's what's matter. So, when I saw him in front of the restaurant door. It-was-confusing-to-the-point-I-can't-believe-my-eyes. I stunned. Suprised, but not that suprised. I know it's weird.

What's more weird is the atmosphere between us. I kind of cold (due being stunned-gun by reality) and it's giving vibes that we're either have beef, or not that close, or we're don't like each other.

So funny. Well, is this considere as signs? Nah, it's just another me seriously everywhere or example given of the probabilities at it's finest. Sounds denial? You bet it is. At least I deny it, positively.

xoxo, pretzels, I want pretzels now.

[minus20arts]

[minus20arts]

Huishan Zhang 2012

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[minus20arts]

2010-08-05

[minus20arts]

I am doing okay.

A week of personal problems had me perish, pacing and all suprising. I found out I'm lack of self-compassion and I've been ignoring my need to acknowledge my feelings. I have feeling just like every single human being, yet for 6 years I've ignored my feelings just because I thought I make loneliness worked for me.

But the fact, that ignoring feelings resulted in me also ignoring the need of deeper and meaningful relationship. This answered a lot of my "feelings towards him" problem.

I'm still trying to figuring it out the way of positive emotional chanelling. I had my heartbreak moments, and I had my happiest moments relating to him. This feelings I've been hiding, running, and stressing about, had me suffered because I cannot accept feelings.

Now I admit it, I do have feelings for him. I don't know in which level, but after talked to him about my insecurities projection (as my way to face my problem as well), I got to start over.

My starting point is fumbling, I still haven't processed my feeling positively and got my heart felt hollow and pain at some points. But, I reflected again and that's possibily happened due the lack of connectedness and understanding of him.

I have to admit, I know I don't really know him that well. And now, I do feel better. I still hold on my logic to help chanelling, releasing my feelings. Yet, I am beyond gratefull to be in this state of mind.

I hope this feelings can get positive outcomes, and if it got negative outcomes, I'm now more than ready to accept whatever feelings. I just want to be happy, and have happy relationship, maybe, maybe.

[minus20arts]

White platinum, aquamarine, and opal dress clip

by Raymond Yard, c 1933

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Bulletin trimestriel de la Société mycologique de France - 1921- via Gallica

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[minus20arts]