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omg where are you 😭😭

I’M STILL HERE 😭😭 I’ve been lacking motivation to write recently 😔 again. But i’ve been working on a Van sfw alphabet someone requested, so i’ll hopefully post that soon!!!

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Don't understand why people get so annoyed at Shauna for not being able to see that Jackie loved her. It's not as simple as Shauna being dense or self-obsessed. Like doesn't that just make you sad? Doesn't your heart hurt when Shauna asks Melissa why she even likes her? Why do you think she begs Jeff to tell her he loves her, even when she knows he doesn't mean it? She has two emotionally/physically distant parents, seemingly no siblings, and a best friend who (whatever her reasons) kept Shauna at arms length emotionally. Is it any wonder Shauna thinks she is fundamentally unlovable? She self-sabotages in her relationships because she just can't ever let herself believe the other person truly cares as much about her as she does them.

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thinking about butch4butch with van palmer 😵‍💫 SOMEONE RESTRAIN ME

BUTCH4BUTCH VAN IS SOOOO REAL!!! like she’d be such a menace about it but she’s obsessed. She sees another butch girl and immediately turns it into a competition-slash-flirtation like she’d say “so… you like girls who look like they could beat you up too huh?” or something stupid like that idk.

Van would 100% be obsessed with her butch gf’s arms. like constantly making her flex them for no reason and pretending she’s not flustered about it. “what?? I’m just admiring the form?”

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sometimes i forget van palmer is dead and then get served the most devastating taivan edit to the saddest, gayest song you've ever heard and tai is doing her van smile while van is doing her tai nose scrunch and then i think well what's the point even

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I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE READING MY MIND !! (It's scary but I like it)

I also know (I'm a show runner don't worry. I'm totally in the writing room yep yep.) that she would try to do reader's haircut and makeup, trying her best to not mess up... She would probably mess up tho (a little anyway) but it would still look good (or at least that's what she tells reader "no no don't worry it looks like one of those hot girls in the magazines ☺️" even if it is probably NOT the case lol). She would also hold the door and saying something cheesy like "Ladies first😜" in a teasing manner but she would actually really mean it. She would also totally ask for Tai or the other girls for spare clothes (she will probably end up begging Lottie since she's rich, and well Lottie would not refuse neither), and then just give them to reader like "this is TOTALLY your style yep trust me I'm a pro 🙂‍↕️" and it's like a basic plain skirt or whatever lmaoo. She would also take those stupid quizzes in old magazines like "what type of girl are you?Answer these 23 questions and find out!" only to say after "You got princess. Told you! ☺️"

Would also invite reader to the girls sleepover (more like begging and dragging), "come on it will be fun we will watch movies :3" and she will do a pouty face so reader actually comes along but would be confused because "Why am I invited to a GIRL sleepover... Am I an exception...? Well that's nice of them I guess to invite me despite it! ☺️" (I love an oblivious reader). BUT!! I know Van told the girls beforehand (tbf I think almost everyone clocked reader out... Well except reader herself) so when reader comes they actually prepare a full on makeover like makeup, clothes, hairstyle, all taking turns. Like idk Taissa and Nat both doing reader's make up while Jackie and Lottie are searching for clothes while Van insists on doing reader's hair (she is not very good at it but not bad either... She would never say it out loud but it feels intimate and she loves it, she loves being so close to reader, both physically and emotionally). Laura Lee giving a cute teddy bear with a little bow on it "it reminded me of you☺️😇"

Cuteness overload actually, full fluff and mutual quiet understanding (except for reader who is still probably clueless but enjoys it anyway... Closet is glass...)

And if Van sees that it's getting overwhelming for reader, she would immediately change the activity and be like "MOVIE TIME NOW!! 🥳🥳" and would hold your hand/pinkie while watching the movie next to eachother on the couch before whispering "you look pretty like that. happy too" and this time not making jokes or teasing just smiling softly at reader with love sick eyes (she is bad down I know it too)

Anyway I'm going actually crazy about this...

Using my mind control machine : ooohh you wanna write about it so bad.... Oohhh... Van x tfem!reader is calling you....oooh...

(I'm joking, not pressuring you or anything. It just feels nice when people relate to your ideas! Especially since I don't see many of tfem!reader in the YJ fandom... Even less with Van :/ So thanks for actually understanding me 🥹🫶)

-⛄

OKAY SNOW, WHERE ARE THE HIDDEN CAMERAS YOU HAVE IN MY HOUSE? LIKE ARE YOU LIVING IN MY VENTS? Every single thing you wrote has me foaming at the mouth and kicking my feet like I have rabies.

OKAY. The image of Van trying to do your makeup is so funny, like… she has zero skill but max confidence??? Using her fingers instead of brushes, blending with her thumb, and then stepping back like “…yeah. you look like a girl in a Calvin Klein ad or something.” and it’s SO BAD but she’s so earnest that you believe her 😭

And the way she’d go full dork (couldn’t think of a better word 😔) on you. Holding the door and being like “ladies first.” but under the smirk she means it. She’s saying it to affirm you in the only language she knows: sarcasm and love.

THE SLEEPOVER. THE SLEEPOVER. The girls dragging reader along with the most evil pout imaginable “we’re gonna watch Clueless, come onnnn—” and reader’s inner monologue is like “this is so nice of them to include me in their girl activities 🙂” like baby please. The closet door is wide open and everyone’s waving at you to walk through.

THE OUTFITS!!! She’s pulling clothes out of some random duffel bag she stole from Lottie’s closet like “trust me, this is you.” and it’s literally just a white tank top and a denim skirt from 1996. But she’s looking at you like you’re the most beautiful girl alive. Because you are, actually. Also I am a firm believer that reader and Lottie are close and go on shopping trips together. (She pays.)

And I love love love that Van is watching you the whole time, checking in silently, and the second you start to get overwhelmed she’s like “OKAY EVERYONE MOVIE TIME, GO GO GO” and suddenly everyone’s rushing into the living room and she’s curled up beside you with your arms linked like it’s nothing. And she leans over and whispers “you look pretty like this. happy too.”

I ALMOST FORGOT THE MAGAZINE QUIZZES OH MY GOD OKAY…. SO She’s filling it out for you like “What’s your favorite color: pink, pastel pink, hot pink, or light purple?” and when it says “You got: The princess type” she’s holding it up to your face like “SEE. YOU CAN’T FIGHT DESTINY.” Reader’s like 🧍🏻‍♀️

This whole scenario is SO SWEET like You nailed it. I’m not exaggerating when I say I wanna write this. I’m not super confident in my abilities, but PLEASE send some ideas and I will do my best. I am genuinely obsessed with your brain. ALSO thank you so much. 😭

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YOU GET ME!!

Like at first it would be just for teasing, she likes calling people pet names to annoy or fluster them. But then she sees reader's reaction and she is like "well this is not the usual reaction I get 👀" and would immediately understand even if she can't put words on in yet (just like reader). And I just know deep in my heart that Van would know reader is trans even before reader 🙂‍↕️

And like she wouldn't call her by her name, instead saying "princess" or other things and when reader asks about it she would just say something like "I just think it suits you better 👀" and reader would be confused but won't say anything about it

I also know (because she told me herself dw) that she would try to do more "traditionally girly" things with reader like shopping spree, doing makeup at sleepovers, etc (she would definitely ask for Taissa's help and advice too). And when reader asks about it she says something like "Well it's just a fun activity you know..." and then complimenting reader "You look cute with makeup on princess" 🙂‍↕️

AND SHE DEFINITELY ACTS LIKE A GUARD DOG YES ❗❗✊ Even if reader gets shy about it or not wanting to make a fuss about it when people say that she isn't "as manly as other men" or other bs, Van would immediately start a fight

- ⛄

SNOW ANON, YOU GET ME ACTUALLY!!!!!!! Like yes Van loves teasing, she thrives on flustering people, but the second she calls reader “princess” and the reaction is soft instead of embarrassed? She’s like “huh. okay. something’s different here.” But in that very Van way where she doesn’t push, just starts quietly treating you the way you deserve.

And YES she would totally know before reader does. Like, it wouldn’t even be a big revelation to her or anything, she’d just get it. No labels, no pressure, just an instinctive understanding between you two.

The nicknames??? Literally canon to me at this point. She’d stop using your actual name completely and when you’re like “why do you keep calling me that?” she’d just hit you with the most unserious but devastating line like “I dunno… you just seem like a princess to me 🤷‍♀️” and then go back to smudging eyeshadow on your lids like nothing happened.

AND THE GIRL TIME!!! OMG She’s dragging you to the mall, begging Tai for advice on how to do your makeup, then forgetting the tips and just doing it with her fingers during a sleepover, saying something like “I saw this in a magazine once, hold still.” And if you get shy or overwhelmed, she’s so casual but so kind about it. Like “it’s just fun, no pressure… but you look really pretty, y’know?” and then immediately goes back to pretending she’s not melting inside.

I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN GUARD DOG VAN!!! she would beat someone’s ass for you with zero hesitation. Like you’d be brushing it off like “it’s fine, Van. It’s not a big deal,” and she’s already halfway across the room like “the fuck it isn’t.” She will bite.

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i am sooo happy i found ur blog van is my fave i just love her so much and like i said before u just write her so well! i can’t wait to keep up with all ur works hehe i even turned notifications on 🤭

STOP OMG 😭😭😭 THIS IS SO SWEET!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. I’m so happy you found my blog too, Van lovers stick together!! Her and Shauna are my favs.. so like expect more stuff for them soon. I actually started kicking my feet and giggling when I read the last sentence.

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HI! thank you for tagging me @eli-evermore <3

D - Death And Romance | Magdalena Bay

A - American Teenager | Ethel Cain

N - Nomad | Clairo

I - I Want Someone Badly | Jeff Buckley

Tags (no pressure):

@z0mb0ysworld @cantbeenough @silent-readers-blog @ringa-starr and anyone else that wants to do this.

MOOT / TAG GAME !

mission— spell your real name / name you use on tumblr with songs you like >< ready, set, go !

m — my love, mine all mine (mitski)

i — i love you, i’m sorry (gracie abrams)

c — coraline (lyn lapid)

k — killshot (magdalena bay)

i — i know you (faye webster)

e — either way (ive)

tagging— @puma-riki @flwrstqr @liwinly @woniefication @lilificationn @stvrriki @okwonyo + anyone else who wants to join !

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Thinking about Van with a partner who’s super clumsy…

She’d eat it up. Like. You trip over nothing and she’s already catching you with one arm and smirking like, “Really? Again?” but she’s so smug about it. Like it physically pains her to act concerned instead of just teasing you.

You’re constantly bumping into things, knocking stuff over, stubbing your toe on the box of vhs tapes she left on her bedroom floor, and she’ll be like “You okay, baby?” but she’s biting back laughter every single time. And if you get flustered? Even better.

She 100% starts carrying little band-aids in her wallet. Not even cute ones at first, like those ugly beige ones she steals from the nurse’s office, but eventually she starts buying the sparkly kind, just for you. She pretends to be annoyed, but when you show up with a scraped knee or a paper cut, she’s already crouching down saying something like “Hold still, you klutz.” (playfully of course)

And god help you if you spill something on yourself in public. She will tease you forever, but she’s also handing you napkins or tugging her hoodie over your lap like she does this all the time. (Because she does.)

You fall asleep on the couch and she tucks your legs up so you don’t roll off. You miss a step on the bleachers and she catches you with one arm like it’s nothing. You bonk your head getting into her car and she just kisses your forehead and mutters, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

But the second you actually do hurt yourself, like a real twisted ankle or a bad bruise? She goes full protective mode. Dead serious. No jokes. She’s helping you to the car and icing your ankle and mumbling about “maybe we should bubble-wrap you.”

She loves her walking disaster s/o.

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kissing van’s bruises from practice no you are actually making me melt 😭

OKAY LIKE imagine she comes back from practice all beat up, busted knuckles, bruised knees, a random scrape on her cheek. She just grins like it’s nothing. Says something like “looks worse than it is, babe” while peeling off her hoodie and acting like she’s not in pain. Meanwhile you’re fussing over her, sitting her down, looking her over for more injuries and going “Seriously, Van?” And she’s like, “What? it’s not that bad.”

You kiss the bruise forming below the scrape on her cheek and she actually quiets down. Kinda tilts her head like she’s confused by how soft you’re being. Like she doesn’t think she deserves it. And then you kiss her busted up knuckles, one by one, and she’s just gone. I need her so bad.

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ᴍɪꜱᴄ —

Fics with no home yet. ꒱. . .

ᴀʀᴄᴀɴᴇ -

vi x older woman! hcs

ʀᴇꜱɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴇᴠɪʟ: ᴠɪʟʟᴀɢᴇ -

ʜᴀɴᴅʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴄᴀʀᴇ — ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ꜱᴛᴀʏɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʜᴏᴜꜱᴇ ʙᴇɴᴇᴠɪᴇɴᴛᴏ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴄᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴅᴏɴɴᴀ’ꜱ ᴅᴏʟʟꜱ, ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇ ꜱʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ Qᴜɪᴇᴛʟʏ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ

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Hihihihihihihi!!!!!! Van x Femme!reader????? Just what their relationship would be like….. anyways I hope you are doing amazing my dear favourite writer on tumblr rn <333

Also can I be 🪼 anon?

HIIIII OMG!!! Okay first of all, thank you for being so sweet. Like, I’m actually gonna cry, I love writing and for the longest time I was too scared to actually post my work 😭 So thank you for saying that. I can’t stress how much it means to me. Also! I decided to just do my thoughts on this, but I can def do a full fic if you want?

ANYWAYS pre-crash Van x femme!reader……

You’re soft in all the ways Van is sharp. Pretty skirts she can slip her hand under. Cherry-flavored lip gloss she smears when she kisses you too hard. You’re the one who gets teased mercilessly for matching your jewelry to your outfits, but she’s the one who notices the small details every time. She calls you “princess” or “baby” like she’s making fun of you, but the second someone else does, she looks like she might kill them. Only she’s allowed to.

Van’s always got a hand on you, your waist, the back of your neck, up your thigh under the table. You’re her favorite girl to show off (obviously). You bat your lashes and ask sweetly enough for something, and she’s already pulling out her wallet or standing up to do it.

She’s a complete gentleman. Gentlewoman? Chivalrous? idk. She opens doors for you. Carries your bags. Ties your shoes. You pretend to be annoyed by it, but secretly? You love being taken care of by her. And she knows it. She teases you for being high maintenance, but god forbid anyone else says it.

She’s protective in a way that’s not always loud, just present. A hand on the small of your back when you walk into a room. A jacket draped over your shoulders when you’re cold. Her gaze flicking toward you every time someone new enters the space.

You’re the only one who gets to see her soft side. Like when you run your fingers through her hair while she lies between your thighs, head resting on your stomach, quietly mumbling about her day. Or when you kiss the bruises she gets from practice, and she actually melts a little.

You’re her soft spot. The only person who can shut her up with a single look. Her reason for trying. Her favorite girl in the world.

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hiii I hope life is going good for you 🌸🌸

THANK YOU, BABY!!!! I hope it’s going good for you too. <3

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I have a feeling that if Van were friends with (transfem) reader in the teen timeline, she'd guess right away. Like she'd see reader looking at other girls in a strange way (not creepy either lol) or like one day she calls reader "princess" as a joke and when she sees her reaction, she's like "👀 I know something you don't"

AND THEY WOULD MAKE BEAUTIFUL GIRLFRIENDS!! 🙂‍↕️❗

-⛄

NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT!!!!! Van would figure it out instantly. She’d be all teasing at first, calling you “princess” in that smug Van way, like she knows something you don’t (like you said), but then the second she sees that little flustered smile or the way you get quiet and soft about it?? That’s it. You’ve got her hooked. Immediately shifts into that ‘ohhh okay… this matters’ gear.

And unlike most people in the 90s, she wouldn’t be weird about it, just very Van about the whole thing. Playful, but protective. She’d start calling you princess more, but in a gentler tone, like she’s trying it on with you, giving you space to lean into it.

And if anyone else even thinks about making a comment? She’s already in their face. No hesitation. Full guard dog mode. She’s on them instantly. She doesn’t even need to say anything, just a cold stare and maybe a casual “you got something you wanna repeat?” while cracking her knuckles.

Sorry, I got excited 😭😭

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OMG UR ALIVE AGAIN TGANK U FOR THE VI HEQD CANONS

-💖

YW BEAUTIFUL I MISSED YOU

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For the vi request I was thinking of like a more mature older woman with her maybe more stern yk with vi cuz why was she getting abused the whole season I j wanna take care of her this can be a bot or head canon or fic idc (i will check before submitting next time again sorry)

-💖

ᴠɪ x ᴏʟᴅᴇʀ ᴡᴏᴍᴀɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ʜᴄꜱ

ᴀ/ɴ: Hi, sorry for doing this so late. 😭 I know you sent this months ago, so thank you for being patient. I decided to do headcannons for this. I don’t make bots much anymore. 😔

⟢ You’re older than Vi by a good 5-10 years, enough to have your shit together. You’ve already been through your wild phase, already made your mistakes and now you know how to handle chaos without becoming it.

⟢ Despite her tough exterior, Vi melts when you use that calm, no-nonsense tone with her. Not in a submissive way, more like she finally feels safe enough to breathe.

⟢ You’re the first person in a long time who doesn’t treat Vi like a problem to solve or a weapon to aim. You treat her like a person.

⟢ After prison and the hell she’s been through, she’s not used to softness. When you patch her up after a fight, she fidgets and grumbles, like it’s a big deal, but the way she leans into your touch gives her away.

⟢ You never baby her. You’re not condescending, but firm. Like:

“You’re limping. Sit down before you make it worse.”

“You don’t have to prove anything tonight. You’re allowed to rest, y’know?”

“Next time you let someone land a punch like that, I’m not letting you back in my bed.”

(You say it so deadpan she has to listen.)

⟢ Vi likes to act like she’s the protector in the relationship, and in some ways she is, no one looks at you the wrong way without catching Vi’s glare, but behind closed doors, it’s different.

⟢ You’re the one who grounds her when she has nightmares. You don’t ask questions she can’t answer. You just pull her into your chest and keep your hand on the back of her neck until her breathing slows.

⟢ She jokes about your age sometimes. Calls you a “cougar” just to see the way your eyes narrow. You call her “kid” right back, mostly because it makes her scoff and blush at the same time.

⟢ You absolutely threaten people on her behalf, but you do it quietly. While Vi is throwing punches, you’re the one cornering someone in an alley and warning them never to come near her again. You’re scarier than she is.

⟢ You notice when she’s spiraling before even she does. All it takes is a shift in her tone, visible tension in her jaw. You sit her down and get her talking before she spirals.

⟢ Vi didn’t know she could trust someone like this. Someone who isn’t afraid of her temper, who sees through the wall she’s built up over the years, who doesn’t flinch when she’s angry or shut down when she goes quiet.

⟢ She doesn’t say “I love you” often, but she shows it constantly, doing the dishes before you get home, picking fights with anyone who so much as looks at you the wrong way, leaning her head against your shoulder when no one’s looking.

⟢ You say “I love you” all the time. Every time you say it, Vi acts like it surprises her, but you never stop saying it, and she never stops softening.

⟢ You do not let her beat herself up. The guilt, the survivor’s complex, the rage, you let her feel it, but you don’t let it consume her.

⟢ Sometimes she just sits between your legs with her back to your chest while you run your fingers through her hair or rub her shoulders. She always pretends she’s just “letting you” do it, but the second you stop, she’s whining for more.

Main menu.

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The Van fic was so good thanks !! It was very sweet and well written 🫶 I like how you still analyse the characters (for example the way Van makes jokes despite being nervous too) even for smut ⛄

(i am still shaking like a little chihuahua tho)

THANK YOU!!!! I was nervous to post it tbh cause it’s been a while since i’ve written smut. 😭 Van and Shauna are definitely my favorites to write for so if you have any more requests for her, i’m literally begging you to send them.