miserysonofmadness - Tumblr blog

[miserysonofmadness]

[miserysonofmadness]

I'm terrified I'm heading panic attacks way to often it hurts my mind is ripped and I'm afraid of switching personalities again I know it's going to happen I just don't want it to happen right now I want to live a little bit longer don't know I'm just won't I don't know why we have to go to this I don't know why my mind's got to be fragmented I don't know why I have to hear voices and see things that they described at me and have to cuss these things and talk to them out loud it's weird I hate just being me

[miserysonofmadness]

By the way I think some people are confused and believe in magic boogie boogie apparently there's a stolen skeleton or something in the field I'm fairly sure Verlin probably shot it although he probably put it up his self he did say that happened last time and everything you did to him is exactly what the he said the other person did last time he really affected you horribly and had you granting some weird-ass s*** why you shouldn't go around his ass his f****** paranoia and f****** jealousy really throws your head for a psycho spin he's pretty f****** sickI can't believe that somebody would believe in magic though who boogie boogie let's do a witch Hunt that's f***** up

[miserysonofmadness]

Also Verlin really thought you went to panic attacks pull up on you in pickup trucks and s*** feed own f****** windows shoot guns on your mom and dad's property mother f***** don't need to come around you at all and he needs to start phone with rules I really hope that all this f****** goes through cuz I will really see some people's true colors it's going to be funny to if they fell which they probably will cuz most of them are selfish and self-centered take Verlin for example he can't see how his own jealousy put cities everybody away he don't care but he doesn't care how that affects anybody else either selfishdoesn't care how that affects how am I coming over to my parents just for helping somebody doesn't care how other people are affected me by talk to me doesn't care how I went to panic attack but I didn't come over shooting guns and acting like a fool I didn't come over there scaring my mom with your drunk ass if he's going to stay around he's going to have to be by rules whether he feels bad or nothe doesn't need to make me uncomfortable and chase me off my parents land because at pisses me off so f****** bad to put a garden in my place hold your ass I've been flipping the f****** breaker box 20 times already you f****** dumbasstell you that it's a fire hazard you don't listen you don't care don't care about my parents you just want to take advantage of somebody and you need to go to that hell on with that s***

[miserysonofmadness]

Art by Ian Ameling

[miserysonofmadness]

By the way there's a reason why you go to the interstate to go to work the other way goes by the hotel the hotel dogwood it's where everything bad so it's a lot of bad stuff that happened to you there just stop going there Don't Go near there don't relive it

[miserysonofmadness]

By the way neither one of y'all are dying you two of all we switch back and forth y'all switch back and forth with me it's just the main one you're always like switch get over it it's just that I hear y'all talkin a lot more I don't think y'all hear each other tired of arguing with you although I will always understand that somebody is going through something sorry but you heard some people I'm going to work this s*** out before it's done take care of each other we're all we got we got to live in this morning it was much good for all of us as you can try not to hurt people next time

[miserysonofmadness]

It is funny it's happened to you several times anytime somebody told you to like somebody when you go under this the rest you really do like take up whatever up session around you I think it's because you feed off their feelings and that becomes warped you really do feed off of a lot of people's emotions that's why you her nervous wreck right now wearing about everybody it's okay everybody can take care of theirselves

[miserysonofmadness]

All right so my other two personalities as things progressed and got worse that you turn to alcohol like always they had a lot of fun but they have the same down pause such as with ender states of mine our brother Jerry was really fond of Felicia knows feelings fueled a lot of stuff but also it was Laura if you had the original text and which you don't cuz you delete everything but in the original text you always see that she brought up Felicia first you try to have regular conversations and in the end she treated you like a drug dealer just like she treated Felicia she also did not pay attention to anything you wrote Felicia did you dirty I think she's scared she definitely acted in a fashion that she's scared and realizing that you are too much let her go but if any information does get back to Berlin over what you said to Laura it's going to be funny because since she mentioned Felicia all your ranting about your ex-wife turn into ranting about Felicia with all the stuff that your wife did to you I really think she think it had something to do with her that's sad but it is an advantage because I'm me if any of that goes back to Verlin you know exactly who said it and why you said it

Big facts

[miserysonofmadness]

I need to go to sleep tonight but I don't think I'll go to sleep tonight because I'm lonely and I want to talk but all I can think about is bad stuff I want to be happy but everywhere I turn I feel like I'm feeling somebody and that's my feelings and nobody else's fault but my own I'm tired I didn't get sleep last night my body hurt too bad it's a hard day at work same as today my body is exhausted but my mind won't shut off my joints are achy it hurts but it also feels like accomplishment I just wish I could get myself to relax but I've been worried about things for days and they fall only failed on me today and worrying why do I always worry I worry so much especially when I'm tired but I found the problem I found a route and I cut them out of my Life 2 so now they should be in my life I said some pretty cool things so I'm pretty sure people will come to try to kick my ass it doesn't matter they're all assholes that hurt me anyways I hope their wives get better I hope they going to leave me the hell out of it I try I fell it's all good

[miserysonofmadness]

But I'm getting closer I will see you soon

[miserysonofmadness]

but now I see my world it hurts it causes me pain I wanted to change

it's like a beggar on the street anybody else that you could meet begging for change down on the street

with a tear in the eye I ain't going to lie the song that I'm seen show only trouble in My mind

lyrically challenge I don't know how to have it don't know how to say the words without mentioning my bad habits

don't know how to reach into my mind to grab another design for a future that passes hope to all the masses

[miserysonofmadness]

My mind is now gone I don't know what to think I don't know what to do I don't know I don't know myself I don't know how to pull myself off of the floor

[miserysonofmadness]

There's been a huge Friend mission in my mind I partially can't tell what's real or fake I keep on losing track of where I'm going and what I want to do and sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am and then I try to think about people I know in a tall go to blank and I start to get scared and I have to breathe deeply and hold on until the feeling goes away until I can think again and it's it's not fun

[miserysonofmadness]

Me mom L H

H L hd v

Home me j h

Hotel h m hd

V

bathroom

Mas h hd

[miserysonofmadness]

So I don't know what I sent a dressing I just know I got f***** up last night have been depressed so horribly I needed to breakand now I'm scared that I've hurt somebody and I don't know

[miserysonofmadness]

Misery and madness it's tearing me apart and I don't even know if I can stand anymore feel like giving up I feel there's nothing right I'm just I'm in so much pain I don't know what to do I'm not in control of myself my hands and body will not listen to me at all it's hard for me to do anything my personality is so switching rapidly I am 100% destroyed

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