mishasminion360

[mishasminion360]

Die with a Smile

Joel Miller x fem!reader

Warnings: Death and violence; language; angst; a reimagining of “the scene of which we do not speak”.

Summary: When faced with an unexpected and inescapable threat, you save Joel the only way you know how.

A/N: This idea has been brewing in my mind for years, but after S2E2 I finally decided to release it out into the ether. Hate me if you must.

The world around him is foggy—muted and bleary—but the pain dragging him toward wakefulness is sharp. His head, his knee, his chest; his entire body is the definition of the word “agony.”

“It’s okay, brother.” He feels a hand on his shoulder. His vision is still too blurred to make out the person it’s attached to, but the voice—muffled as it is—sounds like Tommy’s. “You’re safe. You’re in the hospital.”

A hospital? What’s he doing in a hospital? A few minutes ago he’d been out on patrol. A blizzard hit, they’d found a girl, and then…

Then….

All at once it hits him. Like a blow to the head. Joel bolts upright on the gurney and does something he can’t recall having done in a long, long time.

He screams.

Wordless, primal, mournful cries. The sound of the wounded, the fearful, and the mournful.

***

The girl with the braid is monologuing. She’s actually monologuing. Like some dastardly villain from a Saturday morning cartoon, which makes this entire situation feel more surreal than it already is.

But this isn’t a cartoon; not a nightmare. She is real. Her anger is real. These strangers are real. The knee in your back and gun against your head are real. Joel’s mangled leg is real. This is all really happening.

But you’ll be damned if you let it.

Braid girl fingers a golf club and the way she caresses it—with a subtle thrill, a sick sense of rapture—makes your stomach turn. “You know, it's funny. I have waited so long—“

“Oh, just shut the fսck up and do it already.” Joel’s gaze meets yours as he finally puts an end to her speech. You can’t stand that look he gives you. You downright hate it. There’s no more fight behind his eyes, no more fire or determination. Only a silent goodbye.

“You…stupid…old man,” seethes the girl. “You don’t get to rush this.”

His eyes never stray from yours as she lifts that club; that final, infuriating farewell shining in his brown irises. Fuck him if he thinks this just ends here. Fuck Joel Miller for thinking he can just give up now. Fuck him for starting a life with you if he’s not planning to see it through. Fuck him for making you fall in love with him.

“Wait.” It’s meant to be a command, but your voice is shaking too bad to sound authoritative. “You fucking bitch, I said wait!”

“Someone shut her the fuck up!” Braid girl orders, and her friends spring into action like loyal dogs.

“I know why you’re doing this,” you shout. Her swing wavers. The club remains aloft. “I get it, okay? He took someone you love from you. You have every right to be angry about that. If he or anyone else had done that to me, I would have hunted them to the ends of the fucking Earth.”

She refuses to acknowledge you, but you see the iron trembling in her grip.

“But now that you’ve finally got him right where you want him, you’re just going to stop here?”

She glances at you from over her shoulder, and Joel looks past her. “What are you doin’?”

You ignore him for the time being and just focus on the girl.

“You want him to suffer, right? So, you’re just going to, what, rough him up a bit then finish him off here and now? That hardly counts as suffering, don’t you think?”

“What the fuck would you know?” You’ve got her attention now. Good.

“I know how to hurt people,” you insist firmly. “Especially him.”

“What are you doin’?” Joel asks again. He’s probably already starting to pick up on what you’re putting down.

“You kill him now, he won’t suffer at all,” you tell the girl. “But if you kill someone he loves—“

“No!!” he shouts.

His objection morphs into a garbled scream when the brutish girl plants her boot squarely on his ruined knee and says, “Don’t interrupt.”

You close your eyes so she won’t see the fear in them as you make your offer.

“Kill me instead.”

“Shut your FUCKING MOUTH!!” Joel roars, but you just continue on with your negotiations.

“Kill me and make him watch. Make him remember it. Make him live with it,” you spit. “Let. Him. Suffer.”

With a pained groan Joel shoves her off and lunges for you, but he’s immediately restrained by two more members of her posse. They shove him against the glass as braid girl slides the business end of the club beneath his chin.

“You’re insane,” she snorts without looking at you.

“Probably,” you agree. “But you know I’m right.”

Joel wriggles against his captors, his eyes begging you to stop this craziness. There’s that fight you want to see.

The ponytailed bitch strides over to you, commanding her pets to release you. She crouches down as you right yourself.

“You’d actually die for that piece of shit?”

You meet her hardened gaze with all the courage you can possibly muster. “Do you see me running?”

Her face contorts into pure disbelief, but the feeling is fleeting. She shakes her head and rises to her feet once again. “I’m not playing your game, and I don’t have time for it.”

“If you kill him now, then what?” You blurt. “What will you do next? What keeps you going if not the thought of revenge? Huh? Where will you be tomorrow? A week? Once your hunt is over, what will you be striving for?”

“You don’t know anything about—“

“Your fucking dad will still be dead!” You shout. “Yes, the man who killed him is at your mercy, but are you really going to let his suffering end as quickly as your father’s life?”

Her gaze is pitting as she looks down upon you. “You’re either crazy, stupid, or both.”

Neither. You’re something else entirely.

You swallow the knot of fear and desperation in your throat as she grips the club with renewed vigor and barks an order toward her comrades securing Joel’s arms.

“Hold him down. And make sure he watches.”

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” Joel screams. “I swear to God, it’ll be the last thing you ever do!!”

One of the two pinning him to the wall hisses something in Spanish before fisting his fingers in Joel’s curls and jerking his head upward. From across the room another member of the party, a dark-haired young woman, is already crying.

“Abby.” A rugged, dirty blonde dude reaches out and grabs braid girl’s arm. He’s been pretty quiet up until this point. “You’re not actually going to do this, are you?”

“Yeah,” you answer for her, holding her gaze and disregarding the interruption. “She is.”

Joel seethes like a wild animal. He’s finally mustered up that rage, but when he speaks again his voice betrays his fear.

“Please. Please, don’t…” You’re not sure if the plea is meant for Abby or you.

The cool steel of the golf club kisses your temple as the putter lines up her shot, and your eyes go to Joel one last time. His soft brown eyes are drowning at sea; silent waves come tumbling down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “Please…don’t waste this.”

There are three more words you want to say—three very important words you need him to hear—but you don’t get the chance to say them before that gentle stroke of the iron turns to a blinding pain that fractures your skull into splintered pieces.

Each blow is another level of pain. At one point she strikes you so hard the handle of the club shears in two, and she resorts to using her fists from then on. After a while you lose count of how many hits you’ve taken. It’s hard to think when your brain is drowning in its own blood.

But throughout her savage onslaught, you manage to keep smiling. An arrogant grin of victory.

Because Joel’s alive. And in the end, none of these misguided strangers will be.

You smile until another swing sends teeth flying from your mouth.

***

Whack!

“No!”

Thwack!

“NO!”

Crack!

“NO!!”

Between the club, her fists, and her rage, your end comes swiftly, but not swift enough. Her wrath renders you unrecognizable.

He wants to look away, but he can’t. He wants to force his eyes shut to spite these assholes, but he keeps them open. It hurts to watch—fuck, how it hurts. More than his shattered knee. This is excruciating. This is torture. Every single swing of that club is agony. Every blow you take he feels. He’ll never not feel them.

By the time the light has completely left your eyes, the golf club is more red than silver. You’re not even the one she’d wanted, yet the bitch still couldn’t show you any mercy.

“Make no mistake,” she huffs, breathless from her efforts. “I am going to kill you, Joel Miller.”

When she turns to address him properly, he’s stunned and sickened by the sight of your blood coating her body. So much of it.

“Not today. Not tomorrow. Maybe not even a month from now. But I will find you again.”

She kneels before him and he fights the urge to spit in her face.

“What happened today is on you. Another innocent person is dead because of you. As much as I hate to do this, I’m going to respect her fucking wishes and give you time to sit with the fact that you got her killed. Then, when you least expect it, I will be back. And I will fucking end you.”

He can actually feel the moment the last shred of humanity he still had left leaves his body.

Fuck her pain. Fuck her trauma. Fuck her dead dad.

“I’ll be waiting.” It is both threat and promise.

Her lip curls into a feral snarl. “Good.”

The last thing he sees is her fist rushing toward his eye, sending him headfirst into blissful unconsciousness. Ironically, the kindest thing she could have done to him.

@grimeylady @rav3n-pascal22 @mamacitapascal @insomniamama1 @pedrosbisch @emmaispunk @reonlouw @hawaiianmelodies @heythere-mel @healingstardust @delorena @caesaryoulater @fangirling-alert @fromthedeskoftheraven @axshadows @dragon-scales88 @spacepastel-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @hauntedmama @mswarriorbabe80 @horton-hears-a-honk @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @a-trial-run-on-paper @oonajaeadira @felicisimor @practicalghost @luz-introvertida @amneris21 @hb8301 @tanzthompson @littlemisspascalwrites @dobbyjen @supernaturalgirl20 @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @trickstersp8 @neganwifey25-blog @twistedboxy @emiemiemiii @energeticspookyshark @thevoiceinyourheadx @pedr0swh0r3 @anamiad00msday @secretwriterpp @wannab-urs @pedrostories @lilac-boo

[mishasminion360]

I’m Coming Home

A Joel Miller Drabble

Warnings: THAT scene. The scene of which we do not speak. I mean, what scene? A little angst and a little fluff.

Summary: Joel Miller gets what he truly deserves.

A/N: How long has it been? A year? Three years? I don’t fucking know anymore. After a very rocky and extended ride on an emotional roller coaster, I’m back and…slightly improved. Leave it to the most gut wrenching episode of TLOU to get the old creative juices flowing again!

“Joel, get up. Fucking GET UP.”

She’s commanding—no, pleading—but he couldn’t move if he tried. He’s been down before, but this time’s different. He knows there’s no getting back up from this. It’s clear from the look in Ellie’s eyes that she knows that, too.

“End it,” hisses a member of the girl’s posse. He doesn’t know which one. Shit, he can’t remember any of their damn names. Does it even matter?

“Please, don’t,” Ellie whimpers. They’re not going to listen to her. These aren’t reasonable people. He’s already accepted what’s coming next, but he just wishes they wouldn’t make his kid watch.

A pair of boots blocks his view of his her tortured face, and he only gets a second to be grateful for it. One final lightening bolt of pain ripples through his entire body, then he stops feeling anything at all.

The last sound he hears is Ellie’s anguished scream. His final thought is one of disappointment. What a shame that the last sight of his second child that he gets is stained in red.

***

This room is one he hasn’t seen in nearly 30 years. This bed he hasn’t laid in for decades, but its sheets are askew as if he’d just climbed out from beneath them this morning.

This house hasn’t been his for a long, long time.

He allows himself a baffling moment to take it all in before he registers the sound of the tv downstairs. He hears it with both of ears. His curious fingers graze his right temple, but don’t feel that familiar raised line of marred skin just above his ear. His knuckles also lack the frustrating stiffness of arthritis, and his lower back hasn’t felt this loose since before he’d entered the contractor business.

The buckshot and his shattered kneecap, the hairline fractures in his skull—every ache and pain he’d ever felt is just gone.

Chasing the sound of the old Panasonic, he makes his way downstairs and into another familiar room. Same walls. Same carpet. Same ugly ass couch. But the sight of a certain someone curled up on the end of that couch nearly brings him to his knees.

“It’s about time,” Sarah huffs. “Are we gonna watch this movie or what?”

Words are failing him in this moment. There are too many he wants to say and he wants to speak them all at once. The very last thought that comes to mind is the first thing to leave his mouth.

“Curtis and Viper?”

Sarah gives him that cheeky grin he’s missed every day for the past 25 years. “The one with the deleted scenes.”

“Then what the heck are we waitin’ for, baby girl?”

She lifts the remote and hits play. “Just you, old man.”

Joel takes a seat beside his first child and, for the first time in what feels like forever, holds her close. As close as he possibly can. He hasn’t felt the urge to cry thus hard since the day he’d lost her.

“I missed you, kiddo,” he whispers.

“I missed you, too,” she confirms as she nestles into his side. “Welcome home, dad.”

If you enjoyed this work, feel free to join my tag list if you have not already: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSclzIfpd4MR3jTXuA8uftYpqlY3BABxIycEg-h40Qiky3w6kg/viewform?usp=sf_link

@grimeylady @rav3n-pascal22 @mamacitapascal @insomniamama1 @pedrosbisch @emmaispunk @reonlouw @hawaiianmelodies @heythere-mel @healingstardust @delorena @caesaryoulater @fangirling-alert @fromthedeskoftheraven @axshadows @dragon-scales88 @spacepastel-blog @spideysimpossiblegirl @hauntedmama @mswarriorbabe80 @horton-hears-a-honk @wild-at-heart-kept-in-cage @a-trial-run-on-paper @oonajaeadira @felicisimor @practicalghost @luz-introvertida @amneris21 @hb8301 @tanzthompson @littlemisspascal @littlemisspascalwrites @dobbyjen @supernaturalgirl20 @alexxavicry @harriedandharassed @trickstersp8 @neganwifey25-blog @twistedboxy @emiemiemiii @energeticspookyshark @thevoiceinyourheadx @pedr0swh0r3 @anamiad00msday @secretwriterpp @wannab-urs @pedrostories @lilac-boo

[mishasminion360]

Burgers and beers with Billy butcher please and thank you love 😏🖤🖤

Lmao!!! Giiiiiiiirl, I still need to finish your other fic 😂 But yes. I shall oblige 😌

[mishasminion360]

Favorite line in the whole movie 😝

[mishasminion360]

Courtesy of me and Canva.

[mishasminion360]

Hey all! My awesome voice coach MelissaLynn Vinnedge is hosting a charity karaoke livestream tonight until 9 PM. All funds raised will be donated to Crisis Text and Samaritans, to organizations that provide services to those in mental health crisis. If anyone is feeling particularly generous this holiday season, even if you can only spare a dollar, feel free to donate using the following link: https://tilt.fyi/1EonVNeHM0

[mishasminion360]

[mishasminion360]

What symbol on the keyboard is the sexiest?

The percentage sign, obviously. It looks like literal titty f**king.

[mishasminion360]

I am so honored to have made your list 🥹 If my writing has stuck with someone over time then I know I’ve truly created something worthwhile. Thank you, thank you, thank you 💕

Outtakes - Gin's Faves

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Here's a list I never thought I'd draw attention to: my favorite fics. I don't like leaving people out, so I never intended to make this an outtake. I'm posting this to show you all why I love this fandom. I've read well over 600 fics now, and sometimes they stick with me. I have no rhyme or reason for why a fic makes this list, but these are fics that drew me deeper into the fandom or reminded me why I love fic so much. I hope this has the intended effect. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings by leaving them off, I'm trying to highlight some fics that altered my brain chemistry. Anyway, I'm rambling so... without further ado, here are my favorite fics.

Seams Joel Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Consent Dieter Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Grays Frankie Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Palomino Jack Series by @fuckyeahdindjarin

starstruck Dieter series by @ezrasbirdie

I Think of You Din Series by @prolix-yuy

Sex Worker!Frankie AU Frankie Series by @prolix-yuy

Stay on the Screenplay Dieter series by jazzelsaur (AO3)

Psychomanteum Dieter Series by @whatsnewalycat

In an Instant Joel one shot by @mishasminion360

In the Dark Ezra Series by @frannyzooey

Celestial Navigation Dieter Series by @write-and-buried

All our candles are burned out Dieter/Frankie one shot by @psychedelic-ink

I Only See Daylight Din Series by @millersdjarin

A Little Lipstick Never Hurts Max P/Dieter series spacegayofficial (AO3)

Losing My Religion Din Series by @oonajaeadira

Between the Raindrops Frankie Series by Jazzelsaur (AO3)

A Girl Walks Into A Bookshop Ezra Series by @oonajaeadira

Step Dad!Joel Joel series by @toxicanonymity

Cognitave Dissonance Jack Series by @prolix-yuy

Good. Things. Take. Time. Pedro ATS Series by @oonajaeadira

Hokaanir Riduurok Din one shot by @proxima-writes

buried Jack series by @something-tofightfor

Pretend Alleyways Dieter/Marcus M series by @radiowallet

Of Gorgons and Gardens Din/Ezra series by @concussed-to-pieces

Beskar Doll Din series by @justagalwhowrites

A Savage Place Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Feral Woman Joel series by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Mr. Miller joel series by @tremendum

I know it when I see it Joel series by @bageldaddy

Be-All and Endor Din series by @djarins-cyare

Sundown Joel one shot by @bageldaddy

Notes on Tutoring Dave York series by @honestly-shite

Deliver Me From Nowhere Joel series by @atinylittlepain

When My Time Comes Around Joel series by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Cosmic Oddities Din/Joel series by fromthewhales (AO3)

I'll Leave a Light On For You Max Phillips one shot by @oonajaeadira

The Infinity Cube Marcus P/Various series by @littlemisspascal

Somewhere Beautiful Din series by @peetiespetals

the dress Dave York series by @janaispunk

Ezra's Journal Entries Ezra series by @littlemisspascal

Cabuorir Oberyn/Din series by ToricTailor (AO3)

[mishasminion360]

PPCU AO3 WRITERS DATABASE

>> click to open database <<

after this post the other day, i've birthed this little database to share writers on tumblr who also post on AO3 (or vice versa) in the pedro pascal character fanfic space (not rpf, sorry).

key benefits: it is more accessible to those who use screenreaders, those who wish to download fics to read on their e-readers or for longer series. plus, for writers, if you cross-post, people can subscribe and either read on there or tumblr, and interact with you - as notifications aren't always the best on here.

how to use:

> the database is locked to view only. > it is organised by A-Z by tumblr name by me. > you can add a "temporary" filter to organise this differently. i.e. Z-A, by AO3 name, or even the fandom list.

housekeeping:

the fandom list is up to date as of adding, if you expand out into other fandoms, i won't be updating (I'm sorry), but at least this is a starting point.

i can/will add other people, but please comment on >> THIS << post for now.

____

just tooting some moots who helped spread the word:

@goodwithcheese @saradika @secretelephanttattoo @ezrasbirdie

@pedgito @nothoughtsjustmeds @swiftispunk @harriedandharassed

[mishasminion360]

Awesome idea!

My AO3 name is: SwiggitySwagNightmareStag

calling all my pedro pascal character writers who use AO3…

so we know I love a project. and as someone who began on AO3 (for other fandoms) and has a deep love for it, but has neglected it a lot (I’m sorry my love, forgive me), who else is on AO3 and can you share your usernames? (jo needs consent)

I am naturally, undercoverpena

this might help create a bit of a database to help people who prefer reading there or use screen readers or wish to download for e-readers! but, other benefits of following on there too is that you can subscribe and get notifications (as tumblr can be… tumblr) 🩷

tagging some moots who I know use it to help spread the word, but no pressure at all! I’m just a jo trying their best hehehe: @goodwithcheese @secretelephanttattoo @pedgito @swiftispunk

@nothoughtsjustmeds @psychedelic-ink

[mishasminion360]

The feminine urge to rip that armor off of his glorious body, push him to the dirt, and jump his bones before an arena full of spectators, the emperor, and the gods, while throwing my head back and shouting to the sea of aghast onlookers, “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!!”

[mishasminion360]

Thanks for the tag @artsy-girl-76!

My Lock Screen is one that I made myself. I’ve become addicted to making wallpapers and posters with Canva. It’s my new hobby 😁

The last song I listened to was “Stuck” by Thirty Seconds to Mars. I was groovin’ on my way to the mall.

And the animal in question is my pup, Peanut ❤️ (Please ignore my grotesque legs 😵‍💫)

NP Tags: @rav3n-pascal22 @neganwifey25-blog @energeticspookyshark @laramc-02

Thanks for the tag, @katareyoudrilling

Rules: Post your lock screen and/or wallpaper, last song you listened to and last picture of an animal/something pretty.

Lock Screen & wallpaper are images from BrickPanda82 on Instagram - super cool Lego pics! (And yes, I know I have a lot of emails…😣)

Last song - Unconditional by Freya Ridings

Something pretty: Looking down my street after a thunderstorm. The weather in our area has been a little brutal lately, but the sky can be very pretty after the rain stops…

NPT: @wheresarizona @avastrasposts @frannyzooey @mishasminion360 @wildemaven

[mishasminion360]

Thank you for the tag @darkheartgatita!

Favorite color: Seafoam green

Last Song: “Skeletons” by Easy Life. Holy crap, this came on shuffle while I was driving and I haven’t heard it in so long. I got goosebumps, chills, and I started lip-syncing and grooving hard. Surprised I didn’t crash 😝

Currently reading: “Older” by Jennifer Hartman. I’m in my spicy romance era and if you like steamy age gaps, woo boy, give this one a read 😜

Currently watching: Anime. So much of it. Highly recommend “My Dress Up Darling”, “The Apothecary Diaries”, “The Ancient Magus’ Bride”, “Spy X Family”, “Higurashi: Gou”, “My Happy Marriage”, and “The Kingdoms of Ruin”.

Craving: Uuuhhh….inner peace? Financial stability? Success?

Coffee or tea: Either as long as it’s iced 💕

No pressure tags: @rav3n-pascal22 @your-slutty-gf @neganwifey25-blog @grimeylady @loslentesdepedrito @wannab-urs @energeticspookyshark @fromthedeskoftheraven @anamiad00msday

rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get know better and/or catch up with!

Thank you for the tags, @jeewrites

Favorite color: Black - Though some says its not a color but a shade, so if you twist my arm, and demand a color I'll say red.

Last song: the last song I remember listening to is 'Diabla' by Xavi, and as I fall asleep to my playlist on timer, the last one is 'Catch that teardrop' by 5 Royales

https://youtu.be/OAm5DdGcq00?si=-wW9ic9dWvDIoywE

Currently reading: Im reading a book in Danish, second in a series of 3, called: Vølvens vej - Misteltenen/ The way of the Völva - the misteltoe.

Currently watching: series, rewatching Narcos - Mexico, and just last night I rewatched, the movie: Bad Education by Almodóvar.

Craving: Right now, I could go for a club sandwich.

Coffe or tea: Neither...Im supposedly a grown up, though my sense of humor, and choices, of beverage says Im 12, not really into hot drinks.

Tagging (if you haven't had a chance to participate yet! No preassure, all fun and games)

@carusolikey @cristinalovesfrapuccinos @katiexpunk @mishasminion360 @jokersfangirl84 @daddy-dins-girl @coffee-and-uhg @bitchwitch1981 @friendswiththemonster78 .

#allinthenameoffriendship #tumblrtaggame #funwithfriends.

[mishasminion360]

Back from the Dead!!

Hello to all my loyal and wonderful readers and followers (if you’re all still with me), ya girl is back!! I’m sorry to have been away for so long but my 2024 woke up on the wrong side of the bed 😝 Moving from one state to another really took its toll both mentally and physically and all the feelings hit me with the force of freight train. Adjusting has been more of a challenge than I’d anticipated, and on top of that I’ve been hit with one bad break after another, from work woes to health hazards. I’ve been battling with my depression over unresolved issues and new ones piling up, so needless to say I have not been feeling even a fraction like myself for these past five months.

But I have a good support system and now, after taking a little time to plot out a new course to follow along this uneven road of life, I’m finally starting to get some pep back in my step and the old creative gears are a turnin’ once again. I’m hoping to jump back into some writing soon. I hope you’ll be there to receive whatever my rusty little brain decides to crank out next.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. It feels good to be back 😘

[mishasminion360]

So…I’m rewatching narcos and a thought came to my wicked mind 👀👉🏻👈🏻…but Joel miller as a DEA agent. Anyone who can draw or make that into a fic or something that would be interesting 😍😋

Come on! I know there’s some writers that I’ve reblogged in the past 🖤🖤

[mishasminion360]

Please consider my story, “Missy Moreno Saves Valentines Day” 😁 I’d be honored.

If you have written any Valentine's Day stories (past or present), or are planning to, featuring any of The Pedro Boys, please tag me.

I'm putting together a Valentine's specific fic rec list and would love to read and feature your work!

If you can kindly re-blog/signal boost so this can reach others, that would be amazing!

Thank you, love you! 🖤😘