misterfaggins - Tumblr blog

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Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

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the fellowship reacts to you getting butt implants

frodo:

oh, my dear! y-your ass is so fat!

sam:

i can’t carry the weight of your new ass for you, but i can carry you!

legolas:

i believe you are what we call, a thot.

merry and pippin:

*smack your ass hard and accidentally pop it* whoopsie daisy!

gimli:

not fat enough.

aragorn:

….

boromir:

i needed that money for MY implants…

gandalf:

you are a thot and a fool

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gollum  *:･ﾟ✧*:･･ﾟ at the forbidden pool

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first date with aragorn moodboard

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THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (2001 - 2003) dir. Peter Jackson

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Book designs for the ringbearers (in order)

[ID: two sheets of full-body character designs for Smeagol/Gollum, Bilbo, Frodo, and Sam, lined up in that order. Each of the hobbits has curly hair, large round pointed ears, and large feet covered in thick curly hair. The first sheet has a light blue and yellow background and depicts the characters before they took possession of the ring. The second, set against a black background, shows them some time after.

Smeagol is a fat, freckled white hobbit with medium length dark hair and sea green eyes. He is crouching comfortably with a smile on his face. In the second image, Gollum is bony and emaciated, his skeleton visible through his skin. He has large, bulging, luminous eyes reminiscent of a blind deep sea creature. His fingers are webbed and his mouth filled with many sharp, pointy teeth. He has thin strands of curly hair.

The first drawing of Bilbo has medium-dark skin, short, neat black hair, and brown eyes. He stands with his hands on his hips, looking impatient. He is dressed in casual clothes. The second Bilbo has long, graying hair that reaches well past his shoulders. He wears traveling clothes complete with a navy blue cloak. He smirks back at the camera.

The first image shows Frodo as a tall, white, chubby hobbit with short dark hair and brown eyes. He smiles happily, a healthy blush on his cheeks. The second Frodo has long, scraggly hair pulled into a messy ponytail. He is emaciated, too-big shirt hanging off his shoulders, with sunken eyes and heavy scarring across his chest in a circular radius from where the ring rested. He's covered in dirt and blood. He stares into the distance with a hopeless expression.

Sam is a short, tan, fat hobbit with short red hair, freckles, and brown eyes. He smiles up at Frodo. In the second image, Sam is a little thinner, skin more pallid. His hair has grown longer and unkempt and he is covered in dirt and blood. He has a slight scar where the ring rested against his chest. In both images, Frodo and Sam are holding hands. End ID]

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We need a shitty modern lotr adaptation that recontextualizes frodo and sam as the world’s most tortured up and coming nepo baby and his absolute hunk of a poolboy

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If I could make one little change to the lotr movies it would be including Sam choosing to spare Gollum’s life as he did in the book. To be fair Sam and Gollum have a MUCH rockier relationship in the movies so I see where it wouldn’t play well, but it seems such a crucial detail, it is sorely missed. Here’s the passage in question:

"Sam's hand wavered. His mind was hot with wrath and the memory of evil. It would be just to slay this treacherous, murderous creature, just and many times deserved; and also it seemed the only safe thing to do. But deep in his heart, there was something that restrained him: he could not strike this thing lying in the dust, forlorn, ruinous, utterly wretched. He himself, though only for a little while, had borne the Ring, and now he dimly guessed the agony of Gollum's shriveled mind and body, enslaved to that Ring, unable to find peace or relief ever in life again. But Sam had no words to express what he felt."

That said, there’s such a lovely repetition of the three ringbearers after Gollum each having the chance (and good reason) to kill him and each deciding not to. The world is saved due to the mercy and compassion of three little hobbits.

This is especially evident with Sam who has the most reason of all to hate Gollum. Gollum is the most pressing, immediate threat to Frodo and the fate of Middle Earth at large. He has lied to them, betrayed them, and tried to kill them. And yet... Sam lets Gollum live. Because now he, too, has felt the weight of the ring. For the first time, he feels empathy towards Gollum.

This compassion is what saves the world. Each ringbearer looked upon someone utterly destroyed by the ring and found it in themselves to forgive.

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While talking with the Hobbits, Tom Bombadil puts on the One Ring. For a moment, all of the Nazgul burst into merry song. It is never discussed among them again.

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The single biggest cultural impact lord of the rings had was adding “we hates it” to my vocabulary. Nothing more evocative than a good WE HAAAAAAAATES IT

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Shout out to people who discovered they were asexual in the worst way possible. Like me. Who was reading erotic hobbit lord of the rings fanfiction

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This is what the books felt like.

A happy married couple and their weird dog/child/thing?

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don’t go where i can’t follow