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[mixedfeelingsproject]

I typically respond that I’m English, to which I then get asked ‘But where are your parents from then?’ I also accurately reply England and secretly enjoy watching them flounder and look puzzled. They tend to move on to another subject after that.

Tanya

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Tanya

Where are you from? Jersey, Channel Islands 

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? White British/Scottish and Black African

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? I’ve had to change my identity, as I didn’t know my mix because my half black mum was given up to the care system from birth. I used to put ‘White British’ in the ethnicity boxes on forms, but I took an Ancestry DNA test in 2021 and now know that I’m approximately 25% Black West African and 75% a range of different White ancestry. I now say ‘Mixed’ on the forms. I was raised ‘White’ by my family too, so it’s always been confusing, because other people didn’t treat me the same as other white people. I didn’t like to call myself mixed until last year because I didn’t know what that consisted of. And I don’t feel I’m dark skinned enough to call myself black. 

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? My Mum was born in WWII to a White English mother and a Black African American Gi father, so she was one of the first generations of mixed race people in the South of England. She had a hard upbringing of abandonment and prejudice. It hadn’t improved much by the time my father and mother began dating. They would often be told they couldn’t dine at restaurants or enter buildings because they were in an interracial relationship. There were other difficulties I’m sure, but they hardly ever spoke of those things to me.

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? I have rarely, if ever, felt a sense of belonging anywhere I’ve lived in the UK. I saw that there were larger communities of mixed race people living in London but I chose not to move there because I unfortunately found the big city too stressful. I have no connection to other mixed race families or communities either, so it’s been isolating. I have been told that I can’t be British because of the colour of my skin. I have just accepted that I am largely othered in my own society.

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? I used to get that more as a child and young woman - not so much these days. I typically respond that I’m English, to which I then get asked ‘But where are your parents from then?’ I also accurately reply England and secretly enjoy watching them flounder and look puzzled. They tend to move on to another subject after that. Sometimes I’ll explain that my mum is half black, but then there are more questions that I can’t answer because she never knew her parents.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Yes. It’s like I am judged immediately by my skin or hair. Or that I’m exotic in some way that they can’t quite put their finger on. But the comments are overt and tend to focus on my looks and how different I am.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? I get mistaken for Greek, Turkish, Portuguese and some other Mediterranean cultures regularly. 

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? No. I wouldn’t know how to act to be perceived differently. But I have been very introverted and shy over the years. I dislike meeting new people sometimes because of all the ‘What are you?’ and ‘Where are you from?’ types of questions.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? As I’ve aged and matured I appreciate that I have a beautiful cultural mix and rich ancestral heritage that I’m now learning more about. 

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Yes. I no longer identify as white. I am mixed.

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I have a unique point of view on race. My mere existence defies White supremacist beliefs. There's power in that.

Chelsea

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Chelsea

Where are you from? Topeka, KS

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? Mixed - Black and White

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? No. Yes. 

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? They did when they were together.

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? Yes... it's weird being a descendant of the oppressors and the oppressed.

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? Yes. My answer will depend on my mood. If they ask, "What are you?" I tell them, "I'm human." They ask, "Where are you from?" I say, "I was born in California, but I've lived in Kansas for most of my life." If I'm feeling patient, I'll tell them I'm mixed - Black and White. I wish I would tell them not to ask people those questions, but I don't because I don't want to deal with any White fragility.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Of course.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? Yes - a lot of people assume I'm Latina.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? Yes. I code switch with White people and Black people. I never want to seem "too much" of one race or the other.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? I have a unique point of view on race. My mere existence defies White supremacist beliefs. There's power in that.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Yes. I used to feel not Black enough and like my experience of being Black wasn't valid.

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

Do you have any other stories you would like to share from your own experiences? I hate not fitting in, but I love it, too. 

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I am learning how my mix is both my greatest superpower and also my greatest downfall, particularly in fighting for race equality. I have been given the gift to intimately know different cultures. However, I also get to reap the benefits of both sides and I can so easily be complacent. I am seen as white and can move through the world ultimately not feeling 'other'. On the other hand, being POC has also given me a 'get out of jail free' card in terms of actively being anti-racist. It's as if I can just throw my hands up and say "yes, I am you too!" but ultimately sit on the couch and do nothing. I can check off Pacific Islander on college admissions and I can wonder if that gives me an advantage. As an actor, I am so glad that there is more media that wants to use more mixed people and tell their stories! In terms of work, there is a demand for people like me. However, I can so easily be the person that helps a company check the 'diversity' box without any real meaning behind the choice. I can propel tokenism. Or that, again, I am the 'superior' choice because I am mixed rather than using someone who is fully Filipino or black or so on. I love being mixed but I am more acutely aware of the damaging systems I can continue to fuel if I am not careful.

Julie

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Julie

Where are you from? Paramus, NJ

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? half Irish, half Filipino with a little bit of Chinese 

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? Though I am 50% Filipino, I am very white-presenting, which, in light of BLM, has been something that I have really been investigating within myself. In a white-centered world, I am coming to terms with the privilege and opportunity that this has afforded me. However, my Filipino culture has undoubtedly shaped me and has been a vital part of my life, so it also feels dishonest to say that I identify with one aspect of my ethnicity over another. Tagalog was spoken in my house (though no one ever talked to me directly so I was never forced to learn). Filipino food was constantly on the table. I grew up with tilapia and rice being hand fed into my mouth. My ninang lived with us. My mom came to the states when she was 27, so she was certainly more of an immigrant versus an American and the way she raised me definitely reflected that. I feel intimate with the Filipino experience, though sometimes I am a bit hesitant to own it because my skin is so light in a group of full Filipinos.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? Yes. My father's parents were very racist to my mother and wanted my dad to marry an Irish woman. They got married in the 80s when interracial couples were less common, so there was always a question of whether my mom was just trying to get a green card. My paternal grandparents did not welcome her with open arms which caused my mother great pain. I only understood later in life how loyal my father was in spite of all of that hardship. My mom continued to experience difficulties as the years went on. She was mistaken as the nanny to my brother and I when we were children because we were so light-skinned compared to her. My mom would go to parties and people would assume that she grew up in a hut or didn't have television. 

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? I would say that my mixed background has been the biggest influence for my sense of identity and belonging. When someone says "so, tell me about yourself", I always start off by saying I am Irish and Filipino. Growing up in an environment with two very different cultures has made me empathetic to so many different kinds of people and cultures. My dad is street smart, no bullshit, and loves a good party. My mom, on the other hand, doesn't drink alcohol and likes to garden. People meet my parents and wonder how I came to be (or even how opposites attract!), but it's also clear that I am a little bit of both of them. There weren't many people like me when I was a child. When my mother came to pick me up from a sleepover in 2nd grade, a girl asked if I was adopted because my mom was brown and I was white. So being a bit 'different' was apparent, but fortunately, overall, I never felt like I didn't belong somehow. I felt like I could talk to anybody. I still feel that way. I will say that I did not feel like I was represented in the media growing up, however. I remember at one point believing my mother was not my real mother because I only saw families on television in which everyone was the same color. A fully white family, a fully black family, etc. 

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? Yes, though fortunately most people ask me that question in a respectful way. It's only skeevy men in clubs that ask me point blank "what are you?" like I am a thing. I honestly have a bit of fun with that question because I like to see what people think I am. My mix is not 'obvious'. I like to surprise people with my answer.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? This, as I said earlier, is probably a question I would have answered differently a year ago. People make comments that my mix is beautiful which is kind, but I also have come to terms with the fact that many of my features are Western and so perhaps that is perceived as more attractive. I am fairer-skinned and freckled. I do not have a 'flat' Filipino nose. But my eyes are almond. I remember going to the Philippines for the first time and seeing ads for lotions that make your skin whiter. That was an eye-opening moment. It both pained and confused me to know that my mix was deemed superior when I believed that was so not the case. As an actor, my appearance is also often commented on. I am 'ethnically ambiguous'. I can appeal to many markets. However, though I am fair, it is also hard to sell me in a period piece (like Pride and Prejudice) because you see my face and think 'hmmm... something is up with her.' 

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? Yes, usually Latinx. 

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? Yes, sure, but not because of my mix. And this is certainly because I am white-presenting. If I felt like I was the only brown girl in the room, I would probably tell a different story. 

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? I am learning how my mix is both my greatest superpower and also my greatest downfall, particularly in fighting for race equality. I have been given the gift to intimately know different cultures. However, I also get to reap the benefits of both sides and I can so easily be complacent. I am seen as white and can move through the world ultimately not feeling 'other'. On the other hand, being POC has also given me a 'get out of jail free' card in terms of actively being anti-racist. It's as if I can just throw my hands up and say "yes, I am you too!" but ultimately sit on the couch and do nothing. I can check off Pacific Islander on college admissions and I can wonder if that gives me an advantage. As an actor, I am so glad that there is more media that wants to use more mixed people and tell their stories! In terms of work, there is a demand for people like me. However, I can so easily be the person that helps a company check the 'diversity' box without any real meaning behind the choice. I can propel tokenism. Or that, again, I am the 'superior' choice because I am mixed rather than using someone who is fully Filipino or black or so on. I love being mixed but I am more acutely aware of the damaging systems I can continue to fuel if I am not careful. 

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Not in a big way. My boyfriend got me a 23andMe test a year or so ago which proved that I am essentially, right down the middle, half Irish and half Filipino. We always thought there was more Chinese in us because so many Filipinos have that in their blood as well but I am only 4%. So what has changed is that I am more sure of my background!

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

Do you have any other stories you would like to share from your own experiences? Representation is just so important. I really do get choked up when I see movies like Moana, or Crazy Rich Asians, or The Farewell, though from the outside, I just look like another white girl. When a story is told with the nuances of a culture I identify with, there is something within my heart and soul that sings "wow, I really get that". I feel so seen and heard. And I feel so excited to think that more people can learn something about that culture ... and ultimately, me. 

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I've always felt that I'm both Sri Lankan and white, and belong to both of those groups fully and equally. However, most monoracial people don't tend to see it that way. I've found that most people in each of those groups see me as an outsider, as not belonging to their group - which kind of leaves me feeling like I don't belong anywhere.

Anonymous

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Anonymous

Where are you from? Australia

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? Sri Lankan/English Australian

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? It's tricky, because I identify more with my Sri Lankan side given that I have closer family connections on that side, more cultural background, and was raised primarily by my parent on that side. However, some people see me as fairly white-passing so there's a pressure there from those people (and even from some members of my extended family on the Sri Lankan side) to identify as white. 

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? Yes - my white parent's parents were not supportive at first, and there was definitely some conflict there. They also had to deal with people giving my white parent weird looks when he was walking around with 2 brown-looking children, and with people asking my brown parent if they were our nanny. 

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? I've always felt that I'm both Sri Lankan and white, and belong to both of those groups fully and equally. However, most monoracial people don't tend to see it that way. I've found that most people in each of those groups see me as an outsider, as not belonging to their group - which kind of leaves me feeling like I don't belong anywhere. Also, I have a complicated relationship with my identity in terms of colonialism, as one side of my family (Sri Lankan) is from a colonised country and have been HEAVILY impacted by colonialism in ways that still impact our lives today, but the other side of my family (English) were the colonisers and continue to benefit from colonialism today. So it's very hard to understand and come to terms with where I fit in.

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? Yes. So many times, and it's awful. Sometimes it's from acquaintances or service workers trying to make small-talk, sometimes it's from friends. In high school someone in my grade once walked up to me and just bluntly (and loudly) asked 'So what are you?' But the worst thing for me is how often I am asked by doctors/medical workers what my 'country of origin' is. My gut instinct is always to just say 'here' (Australia), because that's the truth. But they're not actually asking what my country of origin is - they're asking about my ethnicity/genetic background. It just really hurts me when people assume because I don't look white, I must be from another country. And it hurts when I answer with my ethnicity (Sri Lankan/English) and they only latch onto one of those components and ignore the other.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Yes. A lot of people make comments about my appearance - mostly I think in attempt to compliment me, but it often comes off really weird and slightly racist. Eg. a white relative once went on a long spiel about how beautiful my natural skin colour was (like it wasn't too pale, and wasn't too dark), and how I didn't have to tan or anything. I've also had so many comments from white people about my hair. I don't brush it every day, and I don't brush it all the way from root to tip because when I do it becomes uncontrollable and incredibly puffy and difficult to manage.  So normally I just brush the top so it's neat, and leave my natural curls. I get lots of comments about having 'messy' hair, and I often get told to brush my hair or tie my hair up to look presentable.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? So many times, and for so many ethnicities as well. No one's ever actually guessed correctly. I've been called Greek, Persian, Middle-Eastern, just plain white, Indian... the list goes on. It's interesting because to some people I'm white-passing, but others don't see any white in me at all (based on appearance). That's why I think being white-passing is a lot more complicated/nuanced than either simply being white-passing or not.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? Yes. I tend to refrain using Sinhalese/Tamil words and Sri Lankan slang around other Sri Lankan people (extended family and friends) because so often when I do I get strange looks and get made fun of for my accent. But at the same time, I feel like I have to overcompensate when I'm around other Sri Lankan people to 'prove' I'm one of them? Like proving that I can handle spice, proving that I like certain curries etc., proving that I know what different slang terms mean.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? It's nice to be a part of 2 different cultures and to have values and practices from both of them. I feel like I have broader cultural knowledge than most people for that reason. It's kind of hard to think of positive benefits, to be honest.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Yes. I used to call myself a 'halfie' when I was a kid, and self-identified as half-Sri Lankan and half-English. Now, I don't like to refer to myself as 'half' anything. I'm a whole person and I am fully Sri Lankan, fully English, and fully Australian. So now I just call myself 'mixed' or Sri Lankan/English Australian. 

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

Do you have any other stories you would like to share from your own experiences? I have this example of an awful experience that I think a lot of 'white-passing' people can probably relate to. I was lining up to use a public bathroom, and there was a long queue. Then, a dark-skinned woman with a little kid walked past the line straight towards the bathrooms. The white woman in front of me roughly grabbed this woman by the arm and told her she had to stand in the line. The woman with the kid couldn't understand what she was saying, and was speaking another language. But, the white woman aggressively insisted she go back in the line. I was too shocked to react, and to this day I regret that I didn't say anything or tell the white woman to back off. But the thing that really gets to me is that when the woman with the kid left (I think she took them into the disabled stall), the white woman turned to me, smiled, scoffed, and shook her head. As if this were some kind of inside joke for white people. As if she expected me to respond in kind (ah, damn those silly brown people!). I just glared at her and turned my back. That happened almost 2 years ago and yet I haven't been able to forget it. Being white-passing to some, I definitely have white privilege. But it also means I have to put up with shit like this - with white people making racist comments and jokes and doing racist things around me because they think I'm 'safe' to be racist around. I've since learned to call that stuff out immediately.

[mixedfeelingsproject]

"Its caused a huge identity crisis. My family experienced three genocides, so that makes it very hard to relate to the typical white experience but on the other hand I’m very white passing so I obviously don’t experience the same things that darker people do and I don't want to cross boundaries so I feel very isolated and don't know what to do

Anonymous

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Anonymous

Where are you from? Denver, Colorado

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? I feel like right now I’m conflicted but I’m trying out Mixed White and West Asian or just simply Eurasian, im not sure what is best. 

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? My family is very assimilated and lowkey my partner doesnt think I should acknowledge my West Asian side because I’m very white passing and have connected mostly to my white side. But that was before I learned of my other ethnicities and now I want to learn and connect to them. 

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? My mom again is so assimilated that she seemed to just give up and blended with my dad’s side. 

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? Its caused a huge identity crisis. My family experienced three genocides, so that makes it very hard to relate to the typical white experience but on the other hand I’m very white passing so I obviously don’t experience the same things that darker people do and i dont want to cross boundaries so i feel very isolated and dont know what to do

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? It mostly happens when i wear more traditional clothing and dont cover up my accent like i was taught to do. I typically just say “my family is from x place” to keep it simple so they leave me alone

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? People have made comments that im too white to be x ethnicity, but on the other hand ive been mocked for my face shape, my hair, and my nose lots. 

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? Still just people assuming im not mixed. 

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? I have wanted to not hide my accent as much because i really value my native language and i regret letting my parents teach me to hide it. I would feel more confident in my identity with it and i want to be proud of it. 

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? Ive been able to learn about a whole new side of myself! I want to enjoy the learning process.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? I used to just think I was white, but I would specify that I was South Eastern European/Pontiac, thus marking that I was affected by the Pontic genocide. Now that ive realized im also georgian/armenian im trying to figure out what is best. 

Are you proud to be mixed? Sometimes

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I never know where the line is for me to speak on race and being mixed. I'm approx 1/4 or 1/5 asian, it was enough to be teased and mocked but I'm still fairly white passing. So I feel really uncomfortable with topics related to race because I dont know how much I'm allowed to say

Helena

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Helena

Where are you from? Poland

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? i'm white slav, white tatar and asian tatar. i usually describe myself as white + west asian.

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? i feel like i have to identify with white only because i'm fairly white passing. also, tatars are a very varied group, some look asian (as in monolids, tan warm toned skin etc, sparse brows), some look white, and some look brown. my great grandpa was one of these who looked completely asian, but i'm always scared people won't believe me without proof.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? no, my mom is fairly white passing as well (although she's darker skinned than me, she has more white facial features)

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? yes, when I was little i was significantly less white passing and strangers would ask me this.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? people often told me i have "chinese" eyes, or that my eyes make me look like im always high. when i used tinder people would constantly ask if i have east asian ancestry (i just told them i have asian ancestry but not east asian)

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? japanese, chinese, generally east asian.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? i never know where the line is for me to speak on race and being mixed. im approx 1/4 or 1/5 asian, it was enough to be teased and mocked but im still fairly white passing. so i feel really uncomfortable with topics related to race because i dont know how much im allowed to say

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? i like the way i look, i think im prettier and more interesting-looking than people who are entirely white (no offense to them lol). a more practical benefit is that because my skin is warm toned and more tan than of full-white people, i never get sunburn so that's fun. also, researching my own ancestry meant i learned a lot about history not just of tatar people but just of poland in general, and knowledge is always good. 

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? i didn't know i had asian family members until last year, so for majority of my life i identified as white. then i identified as mixed white, because i felt it was a good way to claim mixed ancestry without denying white/white-passing privilege, but i got mocked for that online so now i identify as white+west asian. 

Are you proud to be mixed? Sometimes

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I identify more as an African-American now than I did as a child. On one hand I have grown into my black identity, on the other I have found aspects of blackness that I identify with more strongly than those offered me in the dismal 90s'. Growing up being black meant I had to see myself in Tupac or Biggie Smalls or else I was "too white." Now, I can see myself in Barack Obama, Thundercat, Aaron Mcgruder or Colson Whitehead, in Zora Neal Hurston or Thelonius Monk.

Anonymous

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Anonymous

Where are you from? Las Vegas, Nevada

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? I'm black, a high yellow.

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? African-American. Yes, often. Both whites and blacks have trouble processing me which makes me feel like I'm part of neither group.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? They are both mixed as well and have had many difficult experiences that attend that ethnic makeup.

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging? Race is a construct and I am living proof of that. It is as much a matter of skin color as it is a cultural, social, and economic background. In general I was raised with a strong black identity by my mother but did not identify strongly with other black kids. Most of them hated me for not being "black enough." Though my cultural heritage is distinctly black as an individual I feel entirely sui generis. 

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? It happens a lot. Especially working in the tourist industry in Las Vegas. People want to know if I am from their country and speak their language. This also happens constantly when I travel. When asked I say I'm American. If the person asking is American I say I am black or just ignore them, because it's annoying.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Sure. "You're not really black" is a go to, or some variation of "you don't act black." I once had a woman in a bar scream "BIRACIAL" at me until the bartender made her stop. She was black, by the way. A guy at work whose husband is black will often make jokes about "also having a little black in me" which I find obnoxious. There have been many incidents.

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? I have been mistaken for Latino and Hispanic, (Puerto Rican in particular) Arab, Persian, Native American, Southeast Indian, Greek, and Turkish . I speak fluent Japanese and work often with Japanese tourists. Inevitably in the course of the night one of them will try to size up if I'm native Japanese or not so I'll take that as being mistaken for Japanese, or at least half Japanese. Generally, only other black people know I am black at first glance.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? Yes. If I want to be perceived as black I have to "perform" it somewhat. In American culture "acting white" is seen as default behavior so deepening my voice and bringing a more laid back quality to my speech usually has the effect of creating the perception of blackness in the viewer. Or, I think it does. I generally do this to avoid social awkwardness or outsider status. In reality I act quite unlike anyone you know --of any ethnicity.

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? You can see the forest for the trees.

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Yes. I identify more as an African-American now than I did as a child. On one hand I have grown into my black identity, on the other I have found aspects of blackness that I identify with more strongly than those offered me in the dismal 90s'. Growing up being black meant I had to see myself in Tupac or Biggie Smalls or else I was "too white." Now, I can see myself in Barack Obama, Thundercat, Aaron Mcgruder or Colson Whitehead, in Zora Neal Hurston or Thelonius Monk. It's better.

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I often try to walk a line between highlighting my mixed identity and standing up for people of color when I’m around white people, and not taking up too much space when I’m around poc. I think as someone who is coded as white I have the privilege to be able to say things that would be tone policed if they were said by a visible poc

Anonymous

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Anonymous

Where are you from? Florida 

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? Mixed lebanese/Muscogee creek/white 

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? I currently identify most with being mvskoke, because that is the culture I’m most connected to. I have often felt pressured to identify as white, partly because my grandparents experienced a lot of pressure to assimilate into mainstream American culture 

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? Not really, they are both mixed 

How has your mixed background impacted your sense of identity and belonging?  It’s often made me feel as though I don’t fit in. When I was a kid, I experienced a lot of anti arab and anti indigenous comments from white kids, but then was told I too was white when it was convenient for them to see me that way. On the other hand, I’m white passing, so I don’t really fit in spaces for poc either. 

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? Yes, and I usually just say I’m mixed 

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? Yes, it seems that I often pass as white until people see me up close and notice my lebanese nose and other features that aren’t phenotypically “white”. I’ve sometimes had people make misplaced antisemitic comments about me thinking I’m Jewish 

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? Yes, Mexican, Jewish

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? Yes, I often try to walk a line between highlighting my mixed identity and standing up for people of color when I’m around white people, and not taking up too much space when I’m around poc. I think as someone who is coded as white I have the privilege to be able to say things that would be tone policed if they were said by a visible poc

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? I’ve been able to build community with other mixed people

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? Yes, I’m more comfortable identifying as mixed now than trying to explain my different identities

Are you proud to be mixed? Yes

[mixedfeelingsproject]

I still find myself trying to be more Asian around Asians who see me as European (and vice versa) but also Asian enough around White people so that they remember that I am in fact mixed (and vice versa)

Maria