mockraven-blog

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The more you love, the more you suffer.

Vincent van Gogh  (via wordsnquotes)

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Eretreia, Kallia, Orion !

ERETREIA: what are your distinctive features?

❛ You mean aside from my dazzling personality ?  ❜  A laugh ( one that is not echoed by the interviewer ) as she tilts her head thoughtfully.  

❛ Well really that depends. ❜ She hums more seriously, one hand coming to hover in midair as she speaks. ❛ If you mean as a person, then I guess you could say I’m pretty good at reading people - at sympathising, believe it or not. It’s what makes me good at my job. ❜ A pause as the other hand comes up, as if she represents a set of scales.

❛ If you’re talking about my physical features, then that’s a different conversation. Perhaps one that best wait until after our third date. ❜ A grin, unable to resist the urge to dig at the man who has been hosting this inquisition all afternoon. ❛ You’ll have to be more specific. ❜

KALLIA: what is your most prized possession?

It’s a second before she responds ; the questions haven’t been what she was expecting ( too personal, too raw ) and she can feel her resolve start to crack under the prolonged pressure, only so many ways to deflect or divert. Her mind flickers to possible answers, the few items she’s held onto over the years that hold some meaning.

A letter her mother had sent to her whilst she’d been on active duty on Espion. Two pairs of dog tags, nestled together in box kept in the top drawer of her bedside table, her parents names engraved into the cold steel. The History of Medicine: A Very Short Introduction, given to her as a gift before she’d left for medical school, spine cracked and pages curled from being read over and over. The wedding ring she wears on a chain around her neck, resting on her sternum, tucked under layers of clothing away from prying eyes.

But all of those things are private, the stories and memories they hold for meant for sharing, Why should she pour her heart out to this stranger who she’d met just a few hours ago? What right did they have to pry into her life like this?

So she grins at them, too much teeth. ❛ I’ve got a bottle of thirty year old single malt that came from old Earth sat at home. That’s pretty damned special. ❜

ORION: if you could have a meal with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?

The question hits too close to home and annoyance spikes in her gut, hot and sour. ❛ I don’t really see what that has to do with anything, ❜ she snaps, teeth grit. The interviewer doesn’t even flinch, however, face remaining passive and emotionless, as it has been the entire time.

Still she can’t help but picture it ; how it would feel to hear her mother’s soothing tone one more time, to groan as her father tells one of his bad jokes around the dinner table.  How it would feel to see Eleen again, so many things left unsaid, the long life they were supposed to have together stolen from underneath them. But they’re all gone now, the voice in her head reminds her bitterly, and no amount of wishing will change that.

Her fingers itch to reach for her hip flask, suddenly desperate for a drink, something that could take off the edge. ❛ Metrodora.  Apparently she wrote the oldest medical text to have been written by a woman. ❜ Not the truth, but an answer nonetheless.

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bold what applies to your muse: flaws edition !

feel free to add more. italics are occasional flaws or flaws in certain circumstances.

easily scared | whiny | repetitive | selfish | arrogant | easily excitable | too silly | stubborn | blank minded | overly cautious | loud | easily bored | untrustworthy | disloyal | manipulative | over sensitive | possessive | clingy | obnoxious | gullible | annoying | judgemental | tactless | merciless | unlucky | soft-hearted | sarcastic | reckless | paranoid | unsophisticated | pushy | self critical | smart-ass | solemn | erratic |

{stolen from @alyxmock }

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LOADING :// COSIMA  

❛ I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. ❜ 

made for @cosimaoonmock

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the benefactor, raven, pyre.

THE BENEFACTOR: what are the last three songs you listened to?

She leans back in her seat, brushing away a loose hair that has fallen across her forehead, thinking. She isn’t one to listen to music, prefers the company of silence and her own thoughts. ❛ Tighten Up, The Black Keys; Spectrum, Florence and the Machine and Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. ❜ She replies after a moment, hoping all the questions will be this simple.

RAVEN: what’s your favourite alcoholic beverage?

The query catches her by surprise, eyebrow arching with perfect precision, somewhere between bemusement and caution. She wonders absently if they can smell the hint of alcohol on her breath, whether they caught sight of the hip flask she always keeps stowed in the inside pocket of her jacket, and that’s why they have asked or whether this was just routine. Not that it matters why, really.

And the thing is there are so many answers she could give that would all be the truth in some way ; wine, whiskey, Dire Sling - she isn’t fussy as long as they get the job done. As long as they keep her numb, keep the nightmares at bay. But that’s not information she’s going to divulge to them, well aware of the looks it’ll get her.

So instead she laughs dryly.  ❛ Take me to the nearest bar and I’ll show you. ❜ There’s no flirtation or humour in her words, only sarcasm heavy enough that she could almost be joking to anyone who doesn’t know her.

PYRE: describe yourself in three words

A tight-lipped smile that doesn’t reach her eyes finds its way onto Raven’s face, disguising the slightest flicker of uncertainty that the question causes. She’s never been good at this sort of thing. In fact she generally goes out of her way to avoid too much self-reflection, afraid of what she’d find there, and the descriptors that immediately jump to mind only serve to prove her theory right :

Broken. Lonely. Bitter.

The words leave a sour taste in her mouth, something unpleasant twisting in her gut she forces them from her thoughts - they’re words for a therapist, not a future employer. Arms come up to fold across her chest defensively, shoulders shrugging in a dismissive gesture, clearly the only answer they’re going to get.

❛ Not that this isn’t fun, but is it going to take much longer ?  ❜

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EXILE VILIFY HEADCANON MEME

With only a week left until acceptances, we thought an ask meme would be a great way to get into the mind of your desired character. Therefore, reblog this post with the skeleton(s) you wish to receive memes for and tag your responses with exiletalk!

ALYX: what are your biggest pet peeves? AUGUSTUS: what’s your biggest fear? COSIMA: what traits do you find attractive in others? CYPRESS: is family important to you? ERETREIA: what are your distinctive features? DATA: what’s your favourite movie? FOX: what are your thoughts on the rebellion? KALLIA: what is your most prized possession? MARROW: if you could travel anywhere in the universe, where would it be? NYENA: what is your favourite childhood memory? ORION: if you could have a meal with anyone dead or alive, who would it be? PYRE: describe yourself in three words. RAVEN: what’s your favourite alcoholic beverage? THANE: is it better to be feared or to be loved? THEON: what is your favourite animal? SENECA: which of the seven heavenly virtues and seven deadly sins best fit you? THE BENEFACTOR: what are the last three songs you listened to?

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LOADING :// RAVEN

❛  They say that tragedies come in threes and as Raven had clutched desperately to her wife’s hand ( too pale, too weak, too cold ) she had found herself wondering if there was some truth to the superstition. She could feel the faint flutter of a pulse beneath her fingertips, hear the familiar beep of the cardiac monitor that kept the flame of hope in her chest from diminishing and had chanted please don’t leave me  ( like they had and like he had ) over and over in her head as a mantra. 

But it hadn’t been enough. 

After her wife’s passing, Raven had swiftly fallen into old habits, reaching for the bottle more than she ever had before, welcoming it like an old friend, craving the numbness it brought her. Behaviour already prone to erraticism became worse, control slipping away. Just a few months since the funeral, Raven is still struggling to come to terms with everything that has happened since then, still spends most days with the smell of whiskey strong on her breath, the bite of sarcasm a cover for the growing ache in her chest.

Still, if tragedy comes in threes, then its time for Raven’s luck to change, surely ...

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Why did you let me fall in love with you if you weren’t here to stay?

kabalintunaan //  (via wordsnquotes)

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Cypress: The human body is 70% water. So we are basically just cucumbers with anxiety

Raven: Excuse me, with the amount of salt and alcohol that I consume, I'm more like an anxiety pickle.

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bold which habits your muse has

nail biting | throat clearing | lying | interrupting | chewing the ends of pens | smoking |swearing | knuckle cracking | thumb sucking | muttering under their breath | talking to themselves | nose picking | binge drinking | oversleeping | snacking between meals |skipping meals | picking at skin | impulse buying | talking with their mouth full | humming/singing to themselves | chewing gum | leg jiggling | foot tapping | hair twirling | whistling | eye rolling | licking lips | sniffing | squinting | rubbing hands together | jaw clenching | gesturing while talking | putting feet up on tables | tucking hair behind ears | chewing lips | crossing arms over chest | putting hands on hips | rubbing the back or their neck | being late | procrastinating | doodling | shredding paper | peeling off bottle labels | forgetfulness | running hands through hair | overreacting | teeth grinding | nostril flaring | slouching | pacing | drumming fingers | fist clenching | pinching bridge of nose | rubbing temples | rolling shoulders

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Seeing you again made me realize how much I actually miss you

Day 208 (via myonlywayoutofhere)

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Raven: I hope you know what you're doing.

Marrow: Yeah, me too.

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The taste of whiskey is sharp on her tongue, burns her throat in a familiar sensation, settles sour in her stomach. She drops the now empty tumbler onto the bar, gestures to the barman for another. He doesn't hesitate, the sound of ice clinking against the glass that she's come to love and loathe in equal measure. The weight of his gaze on her as she reaches for her replenished drink cannot be ignored and she fixes him with an arched eyebrow. 

 ❛ Bad day? ❜ He asks, half curious, half just doing his job. 

She scoffs, raising the glass to her lips. ❛ You have no idea. ❜

LOADING:// RAVEN AYRES ( 1.0 )

                                     ❛ the more you love , the more you s u f f e r .

                                                           ––––– vincent van gogh

for @mockraven

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Seneca: I need you to be straight with me.

Raven: *nervous bisexual laughter.*

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//: LOADING { RAVEN AYRES . }

❛ like the wild beasts, she lives without a future. she inhabits only the present tense, a fugue of the continuous, a world of sensual immediacy as without hope as it is without despair.❜

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Raven: That was my sarcastic voice.

Cypress: You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice.

Raven: I’ve been told that.

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Raven, bitterly with a bitter expression: I'm not bitter