monkeyfist1256

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Flug: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Black Hat : That's great, Flug . Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

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Black Hat : *sighs*

Flug : You bored?

Black Hat : Yeah.

Flug : Wanna start drama for no reason?

Black Hat : I thought you’d never ask.

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Nightwing : What do you have?

Joker: A KNIFE!

Nightwing : NO!

*later on that same day*

Batman : what do you have?

Jay: A GUN!

Batman: NO!

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Nightwing : This is ridiculous!

Jason : Hey, someone’s gotta be the jester for the court.

Nightwing and Jason: …*looks over at Jay*

Jay: …. *sighs* this is one of the many reasons, why I prefer to go by “Jay” instead of my real name..

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Batman : Hey, how did my phone break?

Joker: You were drunk yesterday.

Batman : And?

Tim: You threw it.

Batman : Why?

Duke: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!”

Batman : And why didn’t any of you stop me?!

Jason : We were busy laughing our asses off.

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Duke: Why are you smiling?

Jason : What? I can’t just be happy?

Jay: Damian tripped and fell in the parking lot.

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Barbara: *sighs* I have no friends...

Damian :

Damian : *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

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Jason : *mixing different alcoholic beverages together*

Joker: What are you making?

Jason : A mistake.

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*the Batfamily reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Barbara: Thanks fam!

Damian : Oh no.

Alfred : *cries* I love you too.

Jason : Sounds fake, but okay.

Batman : *A flustered mess*

Jay: Can I get a refund?

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Jay: School sucks.

Batman : I know, but you have to do it so you can get a job.

Jay: What are jobs like?

Batman : They suck.

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Jay: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Batman : Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Jay?

Jay: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Batman : DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Jay: Oh, come on, Father , do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Batman :

Jay: …it was a credit union.

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Batman : I am in charge of this disaster!

Joker: I have a name, you know.

Jay: yeah we know dad, and yet you still are the disaster to this day.

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Joker: Jay and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us.

Batman : What did you do?

Joker: Jay chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and-

Jay: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

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*At the police station*

Jay: Hi, I’m here for my dad, Joker.

Police officer: Who’s Joker?

Jay: Ah, you must be new.

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Joker, texting Jay: *sends a voice message*

Jay, texting back: I’m a little busy dad, is it urgent?

Joker: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Jay: *presses play*

Joker's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

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Batman : You know, I used to play back in my gory days.

Jay: You mean glory days, father?

Batman : Ah, that too.

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Here’s some Batjokes for you guys