monkeysdohullabaloo - Tumblr blog

[monkeysdohullabaloo]

#ayapegihuahin

what was planned in January 2015 when i was squashed between work stress and so called relationship stress, finally came to life. On March 19th 2015 at approximately 1.55 pm i found myself standing on platform 1, Butterworth KTM station, about to board the train 36 Express Antarabangsa , Bangkok bound. my stop, Hua Hin.

Alone.

it was my debut solo trip.

i was extremely nervous. yet excited.

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pretty sure i was the only one on a solo trip on that train, i kept to myself most if the time. i did somehow made small talks with my neighbours though, like, in attempt to borrow a pen so i could fill up my thailand immigration form. i enjoyed my alone time. that’s the whole purpose of a solo trip afterall. for people to just leave you alone.

the train was pretty cool to me. i had nothing much to complain. i got myself the lower berth sleeper which was the best i could get from this train. there are wash basins where i went and washed my face n gargled my listerine and the super tiny toilet was clean enough. the staff were very friendly and helpful despite their lack in english vocabulary.

one thing that i remember when we stopped at padang besar station for our passport check and dinner, after immigration check was all done, when the doors were closed, and malaysia n thailand was just separated by that door. outside, a few thailand catering workers were busily settling our dinner. one of them was a woman carrying a baby in a baby pouch while she worked. suddenly came a malaysian immigration officer, tall, a bit fierce looking on his face, from inside and he knocked on the glass door. the workers looked up, and the officer smiled and waved playfully, at the baby. he made faces and tried to play with the baby through the glass door. and the woman, whom i assumed was the mother smiled and greeted the officer. okay the whole thing is nothing really, but somehow, witnessing this, it made me happy. so i smiled, as i sat alone on the train.

my neighbours on the opposite cubicle on the train, Juliana and Chris, both hailed from penang. apparently Juliana was dragged to go on the trip by Chris who claimed it was her runaway trip when i told her this was MY runaway trip, hence it being solo. Chris, tall and more noisy, seems the more hyperactive one, while Juliana, plump and jolly, was the relaxed and laid back one. They looked like they have the most opposite personalities yet i guess thats how they compliment each other. so turned out these two were also on their way to Hua Hin. so at about 7 am local time, we disembarked at Hua Hin railway station,  and i was invited to join them for the day.

and i said okay.

and began, 

DAY 1 in Hua Hin.

20032015

The very first thing i did upon arrival was heading to the ticket counter to get my ticket back to Malaysia, and turned out the train to Butterworth was fully booked on March 22nd, so i took the risk and bought a ticket to Hat Yai instead, thinking i would find some other options ie bus, minivans, from Hat Yai to Butterworth. i was hopeful.

Chris dragged us to the morning market. Now, i could see Chris was the auntyish type, a bit ocd, particular in things she does. she did as much research as she could and called me blur after finding out i came to hua hin, alone, with no homework done whatsoever (which was exactly my whole point of having this trip). she knew where she wanted to go and how. so to the morning market we went, i forgot what it was called, and it turned out to be just a market. the ony thing that fascinated me was a stall selling rats. dead rats. to be cooked. and eaten. I bought a weird jelly like green coloured kuih that ended up in a dustbin. and later, to our respective hotels. 

but wait, our rooms were not ready yet. it was only 9am and the check in time was 12pm for my hotel and 1pm for chis and ju’s! 

so we went roaming and screening the town, and i went and got this.

i love em side braids! wish i could keep em for a longer time! wish i could go to work with this hair! 

later, lunch, finally checked in (my room was upgraded foc and i was too happy!), and hit the beach again in the afternoon before joining chris and ju again for the night market.

**will be updated later. can’t seem to transfer photos from my phone to my mac.

[monkeysdohullabaloo]

of course. bila rasa psycho, turn to tumblr because u think u have posted enough rants on twitter. plus i can talk shit as much as i want here, because really, noone knows i'm here.

how did 2014 treat me?

i love all the travelling. i hate work, like i always do. no surprise.

other progress? nil.

still a loser in my career path. still clueless. hating the hospital more and more each day, yet i haven't found my way out.

still a sucker at relationship. 

still a sucker.

satu langkah pun tak maju. when asked by old friends, so who's your boboy now? i could just shrug and try my best to dismiss the question. because the answer is always the same. i am the same ol' aya. single. questionably available (referring to my inconsistent stand in being single). always losing behind when trying to crawl into a relationship. tak pernah belajar dari kesilapan.

developed a liking to daim chocolate. mahal coklat ni. because i never found anything like it before. so i can say it's one in a million? it could make me mad, angry, and happy all at the same time. i could laugh like crazy, and then i could be as mad as a banshee. that's what daim chocolate does to me.

if the chocolate was a human being, i never told him that i like him. no way, my ego is too enormous for that. and, i would run away. shut myself from him. because it's just too scary. after i crashed and burned in my last real relationship, nothing ever seemed to work anymore. i tried to open my heart to some, only to end up disappointed later. so why would i risk that again? 

so i'm shutting myself away. but oh how i would miss him like crazy.

and no, i would never admit that.

if daim chocolate was a human being. a real guy. 

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First insta post. Breaking my own vow. It's monday night chilling on my brand new polka dot rug! (at Taman Anda, Ipoh)

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it made my day.

then it was gone.

despite everything, i miss him so much that when i see him again, i just want to slap him hard, and then hug him.

and no, we're not romantically involved.

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reposting this from my own tumblr because, to one particular guy and myself, this song means a lot to us.

and i miss him.

and no, we're not romantically involved.

Reza Salleh - Kasih. I fell in love with this!

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oh gorgeness!!

Zuhair Murad, pre fall 2014

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so i googled 60s fashion and her face is all over the place. oh i just adore twiggy, none of todays model can be like as chic as she was!

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don't you just adore the sixties!

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I wish there was a place for me where i could speak up and unveil all my secrets, all the skeletons i've kept hidden in my closet. I want to tell everything, i want to share all the scars, and smiles, genuine and fake ones, with someone. but we all fear it, i fear of being judged. for we live in that community. people talk. i am not a good girl. whispers and allegations will fly around me if i spill everything. as indifferent as i would like to be, i am not, no matter how frequent i repeatedly tell myself that i don't care. i do care. and i'm afraid.

people say some things are better kept unsaid. 

but i so badly want to tell them how i have become the girl i am now. what made me, me. why i can't wash all the thoughts away after whole 3 years. why i can't wipe off the face painted and engraved in my head. why i keep my heart in a steel box and locked it away.

i want to tell you, or you, or you, all my stories, because i need to know, what should i do now. how should i save myself?

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My most favourite dress from 2013 AMAs is definitely Ke$ha in her Michael Costello. and oh the haiirrrr...i addoorreee the hair!!!!

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how do you see the world?

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which one do you prefer? 

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questions and queries.

How often do you go and sit under your writing desk with a cigarette in your hand as Barbarossa's Stones plays on repeat on your macbook?

When you were little, how many of you envisioned the lives you thought you were going to have when you've grown up?

How many of you actually are living them?

Do you have regrets?

Do you feel like the whole universe is turning her back on you? and you're not even a so-called self-searching teenager. 

Have you ever had so many losses that you just can't deal with any more that you decided to give up and settle down with just about anything? 

How many of you deleted your tumblr posts because you thought some people might not approve it but later shout at yourself for being silly enough to even care about that?

Have you ever felt the rush of envy to that crazy homeless toothless man wandering around talking to strangers as if he knew them for centuries when you yourself got your tongue stolen by the cat when you don't want to be alone for the night?

Do you pretend to be oblivious to a silly excuse,i.e. the need to use your bathroom after a night out is totally utterly bollocks?

and afterwards came, would you like to have some coffee?

bollocks.

Are you tired of trying to turn yourself into that person everyone else wants you to be when eventually it ended up eating and gnawing yourself slowly from the inside?

Do you struggle each day not to reach out for that bottle of pills?

Do you wish for an airplane crash? 

[monkeysdohullabaloo]

Pinback - Good to sea.

because good music is good.

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Chanel Iman, VMAs 2013 red carpet. with this, i hereby announce that i am helplessly in love with this siren. my drool over the dress especially, puddles.

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raya. forgiveness. 2013.

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i'm going to live with uncertainties for the next 3-5 months.