mood-at-midnight

[mood-at-midnight]

Is Mediocracy Being Punished?

I haven’t dated anyone. I mean, I have definitely talked and flirted (I’ve even slept with) guys, but I can’t technically say that I have had a partner. Everywhere we look people are in relationships, my roommate/best friend and her annoyingly perfect boyfriend are prime examples. They have stories of just falling into each other, like it was nothing, meanwhile we all trudge through the swamp that is dating. My best friend is literally the most beautiful person ever; she’s short, thin and has perfect boobs. She is a gothic dream. It doesn’t surprise me that she is dating someone, in my eyes it is as obvious as the personality-free spray tanned sorority girls that marry the carbon copy fraternity boys. Although my best friend has an amazing personality, it is clear that the common thread is that gorgeous people will end up dating. But just when I think I have figured it out, I see the objectively unattractive dating. If the attractive are dating and the unattractive are dating, then what does that mean for the normal people? I have been flirting with this guy, Mr. New, and for some reason he hasn’t asked me out. Mr. New is a neurotic freshman that is so bad. He told me that he is fresh out of a relationship, from a catholic private school, and he consistently proves that speaking is not his strong suit. We talk in a way that feels like flirting, and we have amazing chemistry. Even though we are flirting all the time, he hasn’t asked me out. I am a trans woman, so I can’t ignore the fear in my gut that tells me, he doesn’t think of me like a girl. Mr. New is far from a conservative (thank God), but he is not without flaws. I nicknamed him Mr. New because he finds everything to be very new to him. He has only dated one girl, his ex, he has never had queer or trans friends before, and he has no clue what he is doing. If everything is new to him, I don’t know if he just isn’t that into me or he doesn’t know how to take our friendship to a relationship. If women who ask men out are too powerful and men are too scared to ask women on dates, then what the hell are we doing? I know that I am not a part of the attractive, because I have to rely on personality to draw men in, but I am not a part of the unattractive, because it is easy to have hookups with attractive people. If I am just average, does that mean I am doomed to not pass the risk-reward ratio? I have begun to realize that men will place every woman that they come across into an array of categories. Although I don’t fully understand which categories, I know that at least part of where you get placed is based on your position on the risk-reward ratio. Men must decide whether the risk of embarrassing rejection is worth the reward of being in a relationship/screwing you. I have found that the average must lie above the risk-reward line of the risk of rejection v.s reward of getting laid graph. This isn’t just a male thought; everyone has their own internal risk-reward graph. Women are just as good at compartmentalizing, but at very least women allow men to move on the ratio. So should we expect more from men, or should we start acting like men? Perhaps we should let go of the idea that dating has anything to do with attractiveness. Maybe if we stopped assuming the problem has to lie in us, we could stop asking ourselves: Am I average or does everyone know something I don’t?

[mood-at-midnight]

Song of the week

Undressed- Sombr

The up and coming artist Sombr is beginning to gain traction with the popularization of his newest song Undressed. Honestly I can’t tell if this song is really good or if I already had my mind made up from clips of the song on TikTok. The song describes the thralls of trying to get back on your feet after a breakup, outlining the pain of not keeping up with your ex and the acceptance of not being prepared for the intimacy associated with moving on. The song has poetic lyrics matched with upbeat music, creating the contrast that is common when trying to cover up your feelings. Personally, I had reservations about the artist's music. At first I worried that it would be too similar to the other break up songs generated by the men who haven’t truly understood their own feelings on the subject; however, I was pleasantly surprised to find that this artist can truly stand on his work. Although the topic may be cliche, his insight into men’s ideas of breakups was refreshing, especially since he doesn’t shy away from the sexual aspects that we know way too well. Even though he elects to include the intimate ideas, they are hidden behind the upbeat nature that men are forced to hide behind when feeling uncomfortable emotions. 

As for the artist, I’ll be the first to say that he is clearly attractive, low-key because tall skinny white guys are having their moment, but he additionally has a sweet personality to fall back on. While he might be physically attractive, his goofy and sometimes timid personality leaves women feeling comfortable with him off stage. This is all great, but most men in the music industry have been able to appear calm or amusing when the lights are on them, so is he going to be able to keep up? Goofy is attractive, but is it similar enough to star power? I’m rooting for this newcomer and hope to be writing about his other music soon!