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i mean how bad is it that even a crisis hotline person is telling me my job treats people rly shitty and that we need new jobs. and literally texted me the link to the labour board complaint form like lmao

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lol

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basically i really wish the situation was different

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struggling to decide whether to post my new gay art in discords bc i REALLY feel like ive been spamming these dnd characters lately and i dont wanna ~annoy~ anyone

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and ANOTHA one

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good morning my fellow bastards of monday

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and ANOTHA one

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If you had to brutally narrow it down to just one, who’s your favourite of your original characters?

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at last, here is my contribution to the @fenriszine!

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if theyre REALLY gonna force JUST my department to work on a holiday (the REST of the warehouse gets today off) then im gonna make my presence here literally as abrasive and annoying as humanly possible (i found the loudest speaker in the building and im now blasting dying fetus as loud as itll go)

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having ocs is so fucked .... i miss them so bad but im the guy who has to create new content. but im sleepy

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im gonna make a big post about fae here, since ive realised ive been posting about our dnd adventure but ive never actually elaborated on fae as a character on tumblr lmao

so this will go into his backstory history a bit as well as some aspects of his personality that tie into it :33

DISCLAIMER BTW: this campaign is massively homebrew, we're only really using dnd's mechanics and not its lore. the entire world, society, etc in this campaign is original writing ✌️

most basic of basic information: Faenir is a wood elf moon druid, and currently "employed" as a navigator on Captain Bluefeather's pirate crew. hes been a pirate for 15 years and has sailed under a couple different captains over that time. hes exceptionally good at his job and has been sought out by very prolific captains (in the very first session, he was actually offered a job by THE pirate king lollll)

this is a relatively recent venture however, as hes actually like 125 years old currently. the other 110 years prior were Very different, so im gonna start from the ~beginning~ and get into backstory

fae was born (as a twin) on the island-continent of Lor, which is the elven homeland. most elves (except mermaids, which are sea-elves) live there. elves dont have royalty however, their governments are set up as a system of councils (relevant in a second)

the wood elven domain is called merethil, and within it grows a large world-tree, which the wood elves utilise as a capital city

faenir and his twin brother taldrys were born to the very prestigious Thalasi family, to an archdruid mother (she is one of the wood elven council leaders) and a noble father. at birth, fae was believed to have been personally blessed by the moon goddess selune (stealing her name from actual dnd). taldrys was not similarly blessed

growing up, taldrys was afforded a lot of freedoms, and was basically allowed to do with his life what he desired. the same was not true for fae though, due to how everyone around him regarded his "blessing"

basically since infancy, fae had a lot of high expectations thrust on him, and was essentially pedestalized, which ended up doing a lot of mental harm. he was given extremely rigorous and strict training throughout his childhood, in preparation for the role he would take as an adult

it was VERY important to wood elf society in general that fae specifically would be the person to take on the role of High Priestess of the Moon on the government council (now is probably a good time to mention that fae was born female-assigned and presented as a woman up until leaving Lor)

unfortunately, things just continued to get worse in this specific time period. he DID meet someone that would be a close friend for many decades up until his departure (its illandria, ive posted about her before :3), but generally he had a pretty bad time, which culminated in something that could possibly be described as an "episode"

the constant pedestalization, expectations, and responsibilities of being the big important High Priestess mentally wore fae down over the course of MANY years. this perception of him severely damaged his own sense of self and also warped his perception of what the goddess actually expected of him. in addition to ALL this bullshit, fae's family also wanted him to be in an arranged political marriage with a high elf noble (whom fae had never met)

its reasonable to say that fae eventually had some kind of mental break, and decided to secretly leave Lor without telling anyone. its at this point he ended up joining with a pirate crew, and started presenting as a man. he has NOT been back to Lor since, and has actually avoided talking about his past entirely. people back on Lor have also circulated rumours as to their priestess' disappearance

since leaving, fae's relationship with his goddess has been put into a somewhat nebulous position. he never wanted to disappoint her, he still values her presence and importance, but he feels like he HAS disappointed her and is unsure on how to navigate the situation

he's thought about talking to selune about his situation, but he hasnt because hes too afraid she will tell him that everything in his life is a mistake and he should just go back home

the problem is that hes making this assumption based on his treatment from other elves, not exactly on the goddess' actual behaviour. everyone AROUND fae made his status the Biggest Deal Ever™️, which sorta fucked up his brain and his perception of selune herself. now hes too afraid to address that with her directly, due to the effect it all had on him.

fae SEEMS very capable and hyper-competent in nearly everything he does, but its partially over compensation for the fact that HE feels like hes "failed" something by just being Himself and not being what everyone else expected him to be (or what he Thinks the goddess expected him to be)

this also ties directly into a concept that fae has a massive complex over being "controlled". due to his upbringing, fae always felt as though people expected him to be a certain way, and they tried to push him into being an idealised version of himself that ultimately didnt exist. he felt very much like he wasnt allowed to be himself, and that his "actual self" was something unacceptable, hence mental-breakdown-leaving etc

hes been generally much happier since leaving and getting to control his own life, but there are still numerous nagging reminders and doubts lingering that he tries very hard to ignore lmao

I also forgot to mention some of his family stuff. so fae's brother taldrys, unblessed, was afforded way more freedom in life than fae, which bred some resentment between them. fae was very jealous of his brother's treatment growing up, feeling like he wasnt really "allowed" his own individuality as tal was. taldrys, conversely, was also jealous of fae bc he perceived fae's treatment as "favouritism". the two of them were still pretty close growing up, but the jealousy was in the background regardless

fae's mother ithana, as mentioned previously, was ALSO on the wood elf council with fae. she had a big hand in fae feeling as bad as he did. ithana would never openly admit it, but she secretly acknowledges (after all these years) that she had played a part in fae's disappearance. deep down, she knows he left and exactly why, but wouldnt dare talk about it with anyone. she secretly feels guilty and wishes he would come back someday. fae himself feels a lot of resentment towards his mom because of how she was when he was growing up, and hasnt contacted her since leaving

i realise his entire backstory is a very obvious trans metaphor but whatever lol. i rly like how i have this character set up

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we wont be playing dnd again for another couple weeks, and im sitting here practically Pining for fae's orc boyfriend 😔

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forgot to write about it when it happened bc ive been busy working on recapping, but last dnd session was rly fun

fae sorta accidentally convinced his bf to join the crew, so we have an npc on the ship now (that i get to be cute with) lmao

we also had a really spooky dream, as a group. like most of the crew shared the same dream. we got to walk on a rainbow, which was nice, but then fae healed some crying flesh blob and got stabbed with vines for it, so that was less nice (but it lead to some good dream scenes)

session ended with the dream ending, so we get to begin next time by waking up