mousecoon

[mousecoon]

what? oh sweetheart no, you're not weirding me out at all. you're weirding me in. keep talking, freak

[mousecoon]

northernlion was reading out a sweet note his daughter wrote him in kindergarten that said "i know my dad loves me because he's my favorite person and i'm his favorite person" and someone commented "circular reasoning"

[mousecoon]

video games are big fans of *grunt of pain* as a token “hey bitch ur getting injured be careful” cue but i think there should be like, a 1 in a 1000 chance for the pc to scream “FUCK” really loud after taking damage 

[mousecoon]

you'll be hanging out with the sweetest person ever and they'll randomly tell you a childhood experience that would have vaporised you and you're like oh we should find your parents and murder them irl

[mousecoon]

staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

[mousecoon]

How to Successfully Study in the Library

bring all of your materials with you

find a nice quiet spot void of distractions 

make sure to take little breaks every half hour or so

maybe bring a little snack

don’t look at the giant floating baby

just don’t 

try to forget about the giant floating baby in the library 

use different colors of highlighters to organize your notes  

[mousecoon]

baby i could treat you so good you just have to get past my strange and off-putting demeanor and my kubrick stare and my inability to behave like a human and the 40 layers of icy fortress walls i have up and answer my riddles three

[mousecoon]

I hate googling shit like "why am I still sad and tired when I ate and slept and have been walked and watered" and it's always some shit like "your brain is fried because your parents sucked at handling kids when you were a kid". Like can it be literally anything else sometime, just for the sake of variety.

[mousecoon]

sheepish is a really funny word. fuck im so nervous (turns into this)

[mousecoon]

"you can use ai to improve spelling and grammar"

[mousecoon]

ideal living situation is what i call the 'sitcom special' : having all your closest friends live in the same apartment building or neighborhood where you each have your own space but can wander in and out of eachothers homes at will, seemingly always welcome and never at bad times. and also all of you only have jobs when its important to the plot.

[mousecoon]

in this house we love love and heart shaped things AND the moon

[mousecoon]

[mousecoon]

Ozzy Osbourne’s death is like the death of a crusty white 3 legged no toothed dog in it’s mid 20s. It’s shocking and heartbreaking, but the shock mostly comes from the fact that it lived so long and through so much bodily strain that you kind of subconsciously assumed it was immortal.

[mousecoon]

pulitzer prize winning newspapers be like "can fish feel anything? we just don't know. anyway, should chatgpt be granted legal personhood?"

[mousecoon]

it's such a sadness to me that kids eventually lose that 'no filter' thing when they grow up. my niece asked what 9/11 is and someone explained it to her and her unfiltered conclusion was "bro. is that it"

[mousecoon]

one of the most challenging skills i've had to learn as an adult is the art of figuring out whether i'm proportionally annoyed with someone or just tired and overstimulated and looking for reasons to be pissed off