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FUUUUCK....... i sure could go for a Nice, Cold, and Refreshing glass of

Ice Water

right about now.......

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yeah me too buddy

idk. i enjoy watching women commit acts of unjustified violence in fictional settings. and i don't think society gains anything by forcing me to apologize for that

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you mess with the ball, you get the BOUNCE

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I love how all of the playable male protagonists in the Ace Attorney series are written as snarky, sassy little bitches. We get to read their inner thoughts and see their cattiness, their sarcasm, and their raw, unfiltered vinegar. These boys are just plain MEAN sometimes but they often think what we (the player) are thinking…

My favorite thing is when a bit of their pointy inner dialogue accidentally spills out into their spoken conversation and even their teenage weirdgirl assistants are like “DAMN BRO THAT WAS FUCKIN SAVAGE”.

I wish I had better examples but I never take enough screenshots during my playthroughs so I used the bitchiest looking sprites of them I could find.

We’ve got…

Phoenix, who, at least at the beginning of his career, tries his damndest to be kind and unbiased toward everyone he meets, but no matter how hard he fights, he just can’t help letting some of his sarcasm slip out. He’s like a puppy trying to stifle his bark. He definitely doesn’t try as hard later on (or at all while he’s disbarred) but still attempts to maintain a semblance of professionalism (unless Miles is around). The funniest thing about him is that he’s a very good judge of character so his inner monologue seems to be his genuine, true observations of people and not just him being an ass for the sake of being an ass.

Miles, who is already seen by everyone around him as an arrogant cock, has some of the best knee slappers I’ve ever seen in his inner thoughts. His dry, deadpan humor is unparalleled, and I love that he uses the utmost precision when deciding who and who not to filter himself around. He’s always playing chess in his mind, after all. Interestingly, he hides his pleasant thoughts about people as well as his negative ones. Can’t let anybody, even his BEST FRIENDS, see an ounce of weakness — no, that just wouldn’t be the Edgeworth way.

Apollo, who has a tendency to think out loud more often than the others and gains himself quite a reputation for being something of a loose cannon (they don’t call him “horned devil” for nothing). He has no qualms about letting people around him know what he thinks about them, though he definitely shares more than he wants to, because, like word vomit, he just can’t stop it from coming out. We learn later on in the series that this lil’ guy has lots of trauma and inner demons, so part of it may be a coping mechanism; either way, the people who care about him have gotten used to this and understand that he’s just gonna be kind of a fucking brat sometimes.

and Ryunosuke, who starts off seemingly unassuming and quiet, a young man who keeps to himself until we soon come to realize he was the OG Bitch™ and has some of the saltiest quips of the 19th century, especially when Sholmes is nearby. I love the contrast between him and Susato, who tries to approach everything with so much grace, while he’s over here like “People in Britain are quite peculiar….” which in his era roughly translates to “Can you BELIEVE these ignorant ass motherfuckers?” He’s quick to point out other people’s flaws but he also spends a lot of time wrestling with his own feelings of inadequacy, so there’s a lot more to his character than his “just some guy” narrative lets on. We stan bitchy Runo.

I love them all SO much. Babies! Babies for life!

It is my firm belief (opinion) that they were all meant to be gay or bi and neurodivergent (as well as their weirdgirl assistants) but that’s a discussion for another day, and a long one, so write that down. And don’t even get me started on the other prosecuties… Capcom really knows how to make MCs that I want to squeeze in my fist like a chew toy because how are they all so cute and terrible? I need more. Can you tell I’m dying for AA7? *salivates*

Also, I wanna hear your favorite bitchy lines from these fine young men!

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lie

how gay are you

0%!!!!!!!! 😾😾

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some ace attorneys i doodled at 2 am last night

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enough toxic masculinity I'm ready for salubrious mexicanity. I'm ready for a social movement that encourages (esp straight, cis) men to indulge in things that make them more joyful, emotionally healthy, and help them strengthen not core muscles but core compassionate communication skills.

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Dear Kaiserspacedragon,

I don't have time to linger on such youthful wastes such as bands or musicians.

......................

I did enjoy the Beatles back in my youth. I took my wife to one of their concerts on our past dates before we married.

- Manfred von Karma

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During a friendly chat with my step-dad, he offers to play with me the game he's been obsessed with recently: Baldur's Gate 3. It doesn't look like something I'd be into, but I give it a try, and I find it quite fun.

Now, as a pinterest user, I save a lot of art because I don't know if it's fanart or original content but think it's cool nonetheless. So when we're wandering around in-game, guess who I see?

ASTARION. WHAT THE HELL. WHY IS HE HERE.

My shock is quickly ended when my step-dad says that Astarion, like Gale, is "playing for the other team." He knew we'd be meeting a British vampire twink and??? Didn't WARN me????

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Dear MvN,

I always cook and slay. That is what makes me perfect in every way.

- Franziska von Karma

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I am quite simply obsessed with whatever the hell they have going on

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WOWIE I FINISHED ATLA IM EXPLODING HOW HAVE I NEVER REALLY WATCHED ANIME BEFORE???

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Dear Goldysays,

You would be correct in my feelings for Debeste. He is the worst of all humanity, especially for the upbringing of his son. 

As for my feelings regarding Miles, I never once said I hated him. He’s a curse to me, but that does not equate to hate. If I hated him, I would never dare take him into my house, let alone mentor him. As for his father, it’s… complicated. That has not lessened or worsened in knowing anything about Debeste. 

There is something that lessened any negative feelings I may’ve had for Miles. He… loved me… and my family loved him. He saw my humiliating penalty and thought I was brilliant. You would think that boy would compliment his father, but it was me. For what reason, I will never understand. Either way, Miles showed me love and believed me to be brilliant during the most humiliating day of my life. I doubt I’d have denied mentoring him, even if his father were alive.

- Manfred von Karma

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"Oh, Sokka, you saved me! Mwah!"

"Actually, it's me."

"...Oh. You can go ahead and let me drown now."

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"It keeps exploding in my face like everything else does!"

Zuko......

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Zuko was so cute as a child