ms-chanice

[ms-chanice]

“Anxiety’s like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you far.” - Jodi Picoult

[ms-chanice]

"After getting a sneak peek of how it feels sleeping next to you all night, I want to sleep next to you always and forever."

preyear93

[ms-chanice]

Sunlight

I am blessed to have someone in my life who loves me just the way I am.

I found myself someone who comes to see me late at night because he knows I am having a rough day. He listens to me vent and tries to find a solution with me. He knows something is bothering me because he pays attention to my tone of voice, face expressions, and my vibes; I do not need to tell him. He is super affectionate. He doesn’t think it is “PDA” instead, he believes it means we are a couple in love. Whenever he has a chance he hugs me, kisses me, holds my hand, squeezes and ALWAYS tells me he loves me. No matter who’s around, he always tells me “I love you.”

We complement each other. Who would’ve known the phrase “opposites attract” was really true. He’s the calm to my storm. I am crazy and he is chill. I worry too much, but he brings peace.

Happy to be in love with an amazing person.

[ms-chanice]

Feelin’ Good

First time I was feelin’ good....

It was the most mind-blowing feeling. Unforgettable experience. . .

We went to this trail and it was so breathtaking. There were trees everywhere; the breeze felt nice on our skin. As we walked, we decided to have a little smoke. I had never done it before but I thought it was time to give it a try. I smoked some and continued the trail. I did not feel anything so I made a comment “what if I already have a natural high and I will never feel anything?” I remember we laughed at the comment.

As we made our way back to the car, I was still feeling fine until . . .

I took a step with my right foot when all of a sudden I felt as if TIME STOPPED. I turned to look at my boyfriend and he was not moving. I no longer felt the breeze hitting my skin. I kept looking around and everything had stopped. It felt as if I took a long time to take another step. Once my left foot touched the dirt, time started but it got super silent. No noise at all. I can see the trees moving and my boyfriend’s mouth moving, but no noise was coming out. Finally I heard a dull ringing noise. That was when I knew I was high. 

The feeling was so amazing! I felt so light and happy; no worries at all in my mind. I remember I just wanted to laugh and see how the colors were super vibrant. Kissing my boyfriend was so amazing! There was a moment where Sublime was playing (Santeria was on) and I just wanted to roll down the windows and sing at the top of my lungs. I began going on a rant of something super random which I can’t even recall on what it was. I began to have epiphanies and realizations about my life. Then all of a sudden I got super hungry! I was craving super greasy foods. Apparently those are the munchies. I was able to get a cheeseburger and strawberry milkshake. I devoured them; it was the most delicious meal.

The crazy part was knowing when it felt as if the high was going away, it will hit you again and again. Sometimes it will come back super strong or somtimes super weak, but I am glad it always made me happy. I felt this high for about 2 hours.

This was my first time ever trying this and I can say it was a great experience. I was happy to be with someone who I really trust. Will I ever try it again? That is something only time will tell. . .

[ms-chanice]

Everyone that enters your life has a reason to. Whether if it’s a blessing or a lesson to be learned.

[ms-chanice]

[ms-chanice]

No Sunrise

Every morning I wake up glad and disappointed I am still alive.

[ms-chanice]

True Love Story

When I was heartbroken I remember thinking “fuck love! I don’t fucking need it!” I began exploring life happily being single. I got to do all those things that “toxic person” would not let me do; I got to experience amazing places I always wanted to go. I had a great time meeting new people and not getting attached to ANYONE!

When finally I felt it was time to start dating....I remembered how much DATING FUCKING SUCKED! There I was a part of the dating pool and let me tell you how much I detested it. Until I met Diego....

A short message I received from him on Facebook: “Hi, just wanted to say you look very beautiful....” Then after that we just hit it off. We would message each other almost everyday at every hour. He would make me smile and crack up! It had been awhile. Even my friends and family would see a difference in how I would see life. I would sing in the shower, smile at everything and just be happier than I usually was. 11 days later, he finally called me and we talked on the phone for over 4 hours. Our chemistry was amazing! I honestly was falling for him, but I still had my walls up. We finally exchanged phone numbers and planned a date to meet each other. Our first date we went to a coffee shop and we talked for hours. He held my hand when he walked me home and we had our first kiss. After that we were inseparable.

I still remember when he was the first to tell me “I love you.” His exact words were “you make me so happy. You make my heart skip a beat. I freaking love you.”

After being in a toxic relationship, I didn’t think I would want to be in another relationship. But Diego helped remind me how amazing life is and to always be living every moment of it. He helped me do something I hadn’t done for myself. He loves me for who I am and he showed me how to love myself again. I am a better person because he makes me want to be a better person.

Thank you....

[ms-chanice]

Moments.

Many thrive for a happy life but in doing so, one needs to appreciate the small moments in life.

One needs to have a bad day to appreciate a good day. One needs to experience a bad relationship to appreciate a good relationship.

I was not aware I was in a toxic relationship until it was too late. I was so focused on what felt comfortable I didn’t want any change. I thought I was happy but in reality I really wasn’t. I guess we can conclude that it was a bad relationship.

Now I’m in a new relationship and it is the greatest. It is a healthy relationship and slowly I’m forgetting about the past.

Appreciate the small moments in life...it’s a step towards a happy life.

[ms-chanice]

Slowly so slowly I thought I was finally reaching who I was before. Then guys come along. They tell me what I want to hear, what I think I want and then BAM they are out of my life once again. Will I ever learn? Am I an idiot for always being a hopeless romantic...wearing my heart on my sleeve?

Slowly so slowly I can feel myself going mad.

But as Ross says .... I’m Fine...

[ms-chanice]

Not so easy, but definitely possible

“The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day…”

— Charles Dickens, Great Expectations (via books-n-quotes)

[ms-chanice]

Breaking a Habit

It takes 21 days to break a habit.

BUT

How long does it take to heal a heart?

I thought it would be the same.

Boy, was I wrong!

Am I surviving?

Slowly but surely

[ms-chanice]

Seeing the Light

It’s crazy to wake up every morning and remember that the love of your life doesn’t have that title anymore. One day it seems perfect .... the next day it’s not ....

My whole life I’ve been a planner ... Plan every minute of my life and it felt nice because I was “in control” or so I thought! Doing everything for that person that I loved ... that was the plan! Together we planned a life we were going to have: marriage, home, kids, pets, cars, everything that I thought I wanted with him but in reality I DID NOT...it was he who wanted all that...BUT in that plan (what I thought was a beautiful plan) we didn’t go over what to do if feelings weren’t there anymore....

As I lived in a world of gloominess and felt as if the world was collapsing in front of me, one morning I woke up and saw the light: The Light of A New Beginning. And that is when my journey of discovery began...