mscudilove

[mscudilove]

Summer ☀️ Love ❤️

It's been a full twenty-four hours that we have been home after an emergency turmoil. One week since we've returned from our San Diego getaway. Sometimes it's necessary to take time off for your mental health and relaxation because you never know when life is going to life again. Feeling refreshed and invigorated from seeing my best friend achieve his forever home I was ready to take on the world.

Then an iceberg almost sunk our ship, so glad I took the helm and steered us away from a titanic moment and saying I'll never let you go Jack! It would have been so tragic but luckily, I responded quickly and understood that my love needed some emergency help. It was such an intense and dire moment in our lives. To see him so unresponsive and out of it, I was not going to let him slip into a coma. So, I am happy how I responded and how everything has turned out.

The road to full recovery is hopefully not too long. We will definitely stay on top of each other's health and wellness. So, I will return to work later this week and hopefully the rest of the week is easy breezy. Things in this country are going from bad to worse and I understand that it's better to be prepared than unpredictably unprepared for life. Here's to hoping for the best and always prepared for the worst.

[mscudilove]

Mac Miller - Self Care

Your body, mind and soul will remind you of self-care and the need to take care of yourself.  So, I play this song on repeat because it’s my motto this week. Things are looking up and I should be returning to work soon.  I just have to remember to put myself first more and not let bullshit surround me.  I’ll use that shit for fertilizer to plant the roses that will bloom soon in my life.  

At the end of it all we all get buried in a coffin and placed into the dirt.  Nobody is better than that, that is what awaits us all. I will continue on my path doing what I still need to do to achieve all of my dreams. Just happy I can provide some stability and guidance for those who I love and feel the same about me.  Everyone else is none of my business and I truly don’t care what they think. Tomorrow I will take care of me and remember self-care.  RIP Mac Miller

[mscudilove]

Memorial Day

Yesterday was Memorial Day and I couldn't help thinking about you sis. Thank you for all the sacrifice you made for not only our country but our family. It's so unreal that you are no longer with us and some days are harder than others, but I know how strong you believed in me and my ability to carry on.

This whole week I have been struggling with a shingles outbreak that is very painful, and it wasn't until yesterday that I actually realized what my body was asking for. The body really keeps the score so I will return to see my doctor today and discuss what's next in my progression towards health.

Also, I have made a decision I know you will be proud of. Actually, as I was getting ready to meditate you sent a mourning dove to remind me that you still protect us even in death. In many native cultures the mourning dove represents peace, love, and hope and I took the message to heart. I know it's an affirmation of your support and love from up above. I miss you so much and was so happy as well as shocked to see you in my dream. I was so vivid and real that I was awakened from my sleep. May you always protect & guide us!

[mscudilove]

America is having its Ming Dynasty moment - Asia Times

I love reading and learning about history. So many people are afraid of the future because they hate change. It's inevitable, and fearing change only holds you back. Formal education doesn't teach much about Eastern civilizations for reasons we may all know. I love learning not only about my own civilizations but those of our ancestors who roamed the lands in their own fashion.

What I find inspiring about Eastern Asian history is that the philosophies of those lands is beautiful. Simple and easy to digest. Very easy to understand and complicated to know if you don't find interest in learning about different cultures. Honestly since I was a young child I have always had an interest in learning Asian history because of the beautiful people of Asian descent I have known.

[mscudilove]

Spiritually Savage

My power is my spirit ✨️

[mscudilove]

Glowing and Growing ♡

[mscudilove]

Exactly ♡

So true, I have lived through this kind of bullshit way too many times to GAF what people say about me. Like wtf if you are real then you aren't a coward about what you are saying. In this day and age, the number of cowards that pretend to be real is laughable. I will not go back and forth with these bitch ass cowards!

[mscudilove]

Rage Against The Machine - People of the Sun (Official HD Video)

It’s insane because I have loved this band forever and their message is always on point in any point of the decade.  American native blood runs through me at a higher percentage than those who want to kick out my kind.  The people of the sun! It’s coming back around again! 

[mscudilove]

Political Power

I fight the ones who fight me. As a timid little girl and the youngest of 6 fighting, it wasn't my natural instinct. Some people naturally have it in them, but mine was born of struggle. At this age, I understand when I'm in the presence of someone who wants to fight.

So I fight back, and I will not let someone try to intimidate me or push me around. This I have learned as life's lesson, if someone wants to fight me, then I fight back, be it with words or energy. You have to stand up against bullies and bad behavior. Do not be afraid or comply in advance. Grit & fight is necessary in life.

The wealth of information and experience I have has helped me stand up for myself & loved ones. I will continue to arrive at my goals because of the fight in me. Helping others is innate in me, and the fight in me comes out when it needs to. My natural setting is peaceful, but don't push me! The spirit of Revolution is within me.

[mscudilove]

Why Narcissistic Leaders Always Fail (In The End)

The Daily Stoic and Ryan Holiday have always been inspirational for my life.  Recently he had a speech cancelled at the Navy school for cadets because of his encouragement of voracious reading. Donald Trump has signed an executive order banning books at the Navy school that can be considered DEI.  It’s extremely sad what is happening to our country and how education is under attack.  If there is anything you can learn about how to find freedom or invoke inspiration for a better life, it’s mostly found in education and books.

As I have grown, I have realized that not everyone is going to think, feel and live like me and I totally respect that.  My problem is when these same people feel victimized and then push or force their way of life onto others.  This is not okay, and I will fight for not only my freedom but that of other’s that can’t fight for themselves.  At 41 I have realized why the love of philosophy is so important.  If you don’t have an idea of what you believe in you will follow anyone’s lead.

I am inspired by people who actually know who they are, what they believe in and stand tall against the winds of politics and fear.  Delusion and insanity are not something I could ever allow myself to accept.  This is our reality now with our president, but I am not okay with what is happening, and I will voice my dissent.  Political violence is our reality now and yes sometimes I am afraid but being an enabler is not my destiny.  If I have to migrate at one point, I will like my ancestors have in the past.  I will not allow fear to dictate my life.  I will fight for what is right and accept the change that cannot be fought.

[mscudilove]

Revolution starts within ✨️ RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE! I have always been a child of change and have known that you have to fight for your rights & FREEDOM. I'm so excited to see that our country is waking up to the fight for our country, constitution, and freedom 🙌

[mscudilove]

Chappell Roan - Pink Pony Club (Lyrics)

April Fool’s Month

This month has been wild, and this song is speaking to me.  Time is moving so fast and I’m starting to slow down.  This song takes me back to a time where the fun would just come for me.  The joy I carry is from all the struggles I have overcome.  Not letting anything or anyone get me down.  Small town girl.

Forever making my mama proud.  I’m going to keep on dancing! Pink pony club where all the boys and girls can dress like QUEENS.  Queen energy forever! Rocking dancing and singing out! All alone or not I am always tuned in!

[mscudilove]

Wedding Bliss

It's been about 2 weeks since we witnessed a beautiful wedding ceremony in Texas. To be amongst family & see the unity for the beautiful couple is inspiring. This last weekend, I also contributed my presence to a major protest against the current administration. I know a lot of people would not see the relevance of these two moments but for me it make major sense. I have seen so much progress not only in this country & society but my own family.

This administration is attacking our way of life as American citizens and contributors to the economy. Sure, politically, we don't agree with any of the values this government is implementing because it's hypocritical. They cast judgment onto others for how they love, live, and celebrate without seeing how we all just want to live a peaceful life. Nobody is forcing anybody to participate in equality and justice for all, but it is a constitutional right that should be respected and protected. The fact that this administration is threatening our freedom is enough to make anyone with sense stand up & fight.

I will fight for our future and that of any beautiful soul who just wants to live & love as they see fit for themselves. Seeing my prima be able to love out loud and be proud is beautiful. Love is stronger than hate, pride & injustice. Our country is going through a grand awakening, and we will hopefully see love triumph over hate!

[mscudilove]

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs ... If you can wait and not be tired by waiting ... If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim ... If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you ... Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it."

[mscudilove]

The Shero In Me ♡

Today, we dream, and tomorrow, we live out our dreams ✨️. Nobody is promised tomorrow, but the dream of living out our life the way we imagined it. It's a beautiful thing, braiding into our life imagination and gratitude 🙏 Being a woman in this lifetime has been both a beautiful and magical world where reality comes and wakes you up and things are not the way imagined. Yet you are inspired to make it so.

If the world was ending and I didn't realize it, I hope I'm just grateful for the moment to see the reality and my dreaming. So many women have their life stolen from them by men who they dream will choose them. It's so tragic and desperate to see this happen daily. Some women we know, work with, or just happen to hear about. Selena is just as inspiring today as the day and days since her life was taken.

We are the Shero within. We are who we dream about. We have the power within to live the life we dream. Streaming the show we direct. I'm so proud and thankful for all I have dreamed of and lived out. This previous weekend, I got to celebrate a wedding between two beautiful women. One I grew up with and saw live out loud as a little girl and the second the partner she chose to love & live this dream out with.

💕

[mscudilove]

This was 2 years ago & I feel the same. Some people want to compete so bad like really? Why I will never want to be you or want what you have. I am blessed, and jealousy is for haters who don't know how to be humble.

I'm on my own path & there's no need for you to try and compare yourself. Stay in your lane & prosper ✨️ 🙏 That is my motto! I'm here for depth and empathy, for the human experience and expression to evolve from primative thinking & being. My ancestors taught me balance and how to be part of a larger community. If you're blessed, then don't be stressed about what others have that you don't! Grow up and evolve into grace and acceptance.

"WE are here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange, perhaps merely to add our small piece to the great mosaic of being. As the gods intended, we are here to become more & more ourselves" James Hollis

[mscudilove]

Moment 4 Life

I had to re-tap into this moment.  When I first heard this song, I was reaching the height of MY GOALS.  Becoming a REAL NURSE as I joke now (RN). I passed my NCLEX the year this track was released.  It was a FEBRUARY I was still living in my apartment down the street from work.  I also decided to see FRANCE that year as a celebration of reaching my goals of becoming a BSN.  A bachelor’s in nursing was my biggest life goal.  

Why stop there you ask? I don’t know.  As a poor working-class girl who was just starting off her career it felt right to pause.  To live life as I wanted at my pace.  To see the world and experience life the way I dictated.  It was my moment for life. “This is my moment I waited all my life I can tell it's time. Drifting away I’m one with the sunset; I have become alive”.  It was time to live my life as I dreamed and so here, I am 14 years later wondering what’s next?

Y ahorra voy con la corriente como las olas. Como dice Bad Bunny una BAD BITCH girl te los 90′s.  Like damn we really grew up in the best and the worst of times.  Today I saw a Nicky Minaj tiktok that really inspired me to tap into this energy.  Hip Hop has always been my main. If I’m honest I like the POP Hip Hop too.  My daughter likes when I listen to some Doechii and SZA too.  Porque la nota ya esta haciendo effecto...PARTY PARTY!!!