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HOW CHIBNALL PISSED ME OFF

I have been away from Tumblr for years, but here I am now. The reason for my return is simple: Chibnall pissed me off and Facebook is not the right place for a a rant like the one you are going to read. Posting it on twitter would make more sense, you say? Probably. But I have no time to count words. I will start with why I had high expectantions on Chibanl and then I will explain how he shuttered every single one of them. 

1. When I heard Chibnall was coming after Moffat I was happy. I have always had that twisted relationship with Doctor Who where I loved the adventures, the adrenaline, the jokes, the discoveries, the aliens, but I also loved the feels and angst that came with the Companions and the Master. I had seen Broadchurch, so I “knew” Chibnall, I was sure enough he would not mess around. I was so wrong

2. Female!Doctor. Not a fan. Nu-uh. I have never felt the need for a female Doctor. There were plenty of great female characters in Doctor Who, both in the Classic era and the New era. Every single one of them had their own personality, their own skills and flaws. It was great, because they were actually people. Doctor Who was the first show that I watched where I didn’t get annoyed by female characters. They were strong in their own ways, and that didn’t mean being a super killing machine without special fighting skills. They were real and they were fundamental. Without them the Doctor lost his moral compass and we saw that more than once. So no, I didn’t need a female Doctor, I was alreay represented by amazing women in the show who were not less important than him. Moreover, I have no problem feeling represented by a man, I mean... men are still people, they have feelings and I am capable of understanding that. It’s called empathy. I am not so stupid that I cannot relate to a character only because they don’t have my genitalia. 

3. Lack of imagination. Another problem I have with a female Doctor is the same I have when authors remake characters, when they change gender or ethnicity to a character to give people representation. It’s insulting. You are basically saying that you are not capable of creating a new character for that minority (being women, an ethnic group or disabled people) without using a pre-existing character. It means that in your head, to detach yourself from the negative stereotypes, you need a white male model because you are not able to imagine a minority character without those flaws on your own.

4. Companions: Graham was fun compared to Ryan and Yaz, but if we compare the Companions to the older ones, the new ones lose. And lose real bad. They left me nothing. They characterization is non-existent, they follow the Doctor and that’s it. Ryan should have disability but it appears only when the screenwriter remembers. Meh. I don’t have much to say about them, they really didn’t left any impression on me. I was not fond of Martha and I can list reasons why, I couldn’t stand Clara and I can go on 30 minutes saying why. These new ones are just... meh.

5. The Doctor. I didn’t see him... her... them. Let’s start with a note: I saw Jodie in Broadchurch and I didn’t like her there, so when I found out she was going to be the new Doctor, I was not amazed. If it had to be a woman, I would have preferred someone else, but anyway. This Doctor didn’t have any special features, it just looked like an hyped 10 or 11, but without their depth. Kind is an adjective, not a character trait. I feel that her character was not studied enough, she didn’t have enough depth. It got better with the beginning of this new season but honestly? You can’t be able to write a character properly only when they face their nemesis. 

6. The episodes. Oh. My. God. The first season of this new Doctor was a series of episodes that looked like they jumped out of the 60s. Teaching people through an entertainment show doesn’t mean you have to take the show, make an episode on whatever the problem you want to discuss is and make some sort of documentary about it. It means you try to explain to people through fun, adventures, analogies... those who watch DW now are not 6 years old. They know that if you show them a genocide on another planet with segregation, spaceships etc, you are telling them not to be racist assholes. They do not need Rosa Parks to give them a lecture. Episode in which appears a villain with an unkown objective and we don’t see ever again, but ok. 

7. The cherry on top. The timeless children. What. The. Actual. Fuck. So Chibnall just decided to take 60 years of TV show and toss it into the garbage can, right? That was the purpose, right? Because otherwise I don’t see it. So the Doctor is a creature from another planet, not Gallifrey, who can regenerate. The Gallifreyan see them, think “oh nice” and go all Frankenstein on them. Noice. I have just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy problem with that. And for one I mean so many that they are more than the leaves on the trees in the Amazon forest. You are nullifying “End of time”, “This is Gallifrey”, the 50th anniversary... moreover Clara saw their past, she would have seen that something was off. They can’t remember? Fine. But it’s still there, it’s not like they transplanted their brain. 

8. The name of the Doctor. The big secret. The name that must never be spoken. The name that was keeping the universe together... and they revealed it like that. Brendan? Really? The name of the Doctor was a legend, you were not supposed to name them for real! Brendan? SERIOUSLY?

9. Doctor and Master. They were friends since they were kids. They grew up together. They studied together. They went on adventures together. They lost friends together. They grew apart and they kept fighting each other... but they were best enemies. Ok, a couple of times one really killed/let the other die, but go back to the beginning and count those times. They were two faces of the same coin, getting on each other nerves and saving each other over and over again. For the Doctor, the Master was the only other Time Lord in the universe for so long he was willing to pardon a genocide to save him (more than once). Their relationship was based on the fact that in a way they were complementary: the Master has no restraints, while the Doctor tries to be good when they both have done so many terrible things (including genocide, eh Doctor? You are not so innocent, honey). Their relationship was beautiful and painful. And it went down the drain. You are telling me that the Doctor is a superior being, they are not equals anymore, they are not two faces of the same coin, they are not even the same species so what are we talking about? And the coldness of the Doctor while she lets him die? Who the hell are you?

TL;DR Chibnall took a character I loved from a show I loved and torn it apart. The season and the characters were not written as I expected, I mean that they were 2D version of themselves, no depth there. Nothing interesting. I think he tried too much all at once: female Doctor, 3 companions, one shot episodes. Man, pick one thing you want to change and stick with it. You already have to run a show you have never run before, so you have to understand how to make it work. 4 characters are difficult to handle all at once and at the same time give them all the right space, depth and characterization in seasons that have less than 15 episodes each.

I am so pissed. I didn’t appreciate Jodie, but in a little corner of my mind I had always tought I would come back to Doctor Who once she was gone, but that’s not possible anymore. Funny thing is, this show made me meet the majority of my friends, the people with whom I started hanging our 6 years ago. We would have never met without DW probably. I kind of feel robbed now.

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We recognize Chris Chibnall has made a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision, we’ve elected to ignore it.

We are the Deca. Theta is the first. We know each other since we were kids.

The Deca has spoken. And now we must go because Koschei wants to bomb Sol III (and we are going to help him)

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Story of Wanda’s fucking life

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[insp.]

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Thor/Loki + making each other smile

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“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone 

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Kylo Ren and The Villains™

Today on Unpopular Opinions: Kylo Ren and The Villains.

I will start saying that Kylo Ren IS a villain. He is not misunderstood. He is a villain. Triggered yet? Then let’s continue.

I have seen tons of people justify (or trying to) villains’ behaviour using the most absurd excuses. I will talk about four (4) characters, namely Kylo Ren, Magneto, Darth Vader, and the Master.

Kylo Ren: I didn’t like him in TFA. He was a whining emo trying to equate someone far stronger than him, plus he didn’t understand anything about his grandfather (final redemption, anyone?). In TLJ his character grew up a lot and turned out that his behaviour in TFA was a way to show us the changes between the two films. Yay! Great! I couldn’t stand a whiny villain, this makes way more sense, thank you very much. STILL he is a villain. He was never abused: are you suggesting that Leia Organa, Leia Bring-Me-My-Son-Back-There-Is-Still-Light-In-Him Organa, would abuse her child? Heck no. You understood nothing of Leia’s character and I suggest you go back and watch OT again. So, it wasn’t Leia... then who? Han? Can you picture him hurting his son? I can give you that perhaps he was an absent father, but violent, no way. Leia would rip his arms off and shoot him in outer space with a laser cannon. Same for Luke. And if you know Luke you know that he is not abusive. He got scared when he sensed the dark side growing in Ben, that’s it. Yes, he tried to kill him but, really, what would you do if you spent your 20s fighting against an evil empire and your own father to free the galaxy, losing your friends and seeing so many deaths, what would you do seeing that something similar to the Empire is rising and history is repeating? You wouldn’t panic, would you? You would be perfectly reasonable, right? Kylo Ren is not a victim. He was given the chance to change and go home but he refused because he wanted power. Rey offered to help him but he refused because he wanted power. He killed his father, his uncle, and ordered to destroy the cave where the resistance was hiding, where HIS MOTHER was hiding. He is not misunderstood. He is evil. (and keep Reylo out of Anidala’s tag, it’s not the same thing, not in the... whatever)

Darth Vader: I love Darth Vader. And I loved Anakin. Anakin was an arrogant and scared young man among people who had the empathy of a rock. Obi-Wan cared for him, but, let’s face it, he couldn’t show it. All of these are facts. Anakin chose to trust Palpatine instead of Obi-Wan because he was desperate (and stupid) and the old man told him what he wanted to hear. These are also facts. Anakin died when Darth Vader rose, this is written in the book. Darth Vader killed the younglings at the Temple and helped wipe out the entire Jedi Order and the Republic. He is evil. He is not misunderstood. Anakin was misunderstood in his own mind, Vader is not. Vader is a villain who tortured his daughter (ok, he didn’t know but still), let the empire destroy entire planets, committed genocide etc. He tried to kill his own son! The son who was trying to help him! Ok, in the end Anakin came back and redeemed Vader. Yay! Big party! But Vader was evil.

The Master: haha. Koschei. Ok. Let’s do this. He was the Doctor’s bestfriend when they were young. At some point he went nuts and became evil. Ok. First version: the Master had a human companion, he was fond of her, turns out she is not human. She is a Time Lady sent to keep an eye on him (read The Dark Path). Ooops. Overdramatic reaction. Let’s turn evil and rule the universe. Great: you’re absolutely not overreacting, love. Second version: the drums. I don’t have to explain you the drums, right? He was suffering, ok. The drums told him to do bad things, alright. BUT the Doctor offered his help, the Master refused and kept behaving like the little shit he is. Not evil at all, mh? FYI: this is why Missy’s redemption is bullshit. The Master and the Doctor has been friends/enemies... bestenemies for hundreds, even thousands of years, the Master never changed, ever. So he/she/whatever will not change just because was locked in a cell for 70 years. 70 years are nothing for a Time Lord. So the whole crying whining redemption thing is OOC af. The only times the Master begged were for his life (also in the classic). He is the villain. Evil. Bad bad Master.

Magneto: my sweet little child. Max Eisenhardt. Erik Lensherr. Magneto. I think that if something bad can happen to this man, it will. I swear. But that’s not an excuse either. To sum it up: he was held prisoner in a concentration camp, escaped with his wife and had a girl. Oops. Let’s kill his little girl in a fire... burning alive while she screams “daddy help” and he is hold back by some stupid humans who want to beat the crap out of him. He kills them all after Anya’s death (the girl) with his powers but ooops, his wife DUMPS him because he just killed the men who prevented him from saving their daughter and was beating him for wanting the money he earned that day. But yes, let’s run away screaming “monster”, that’s totally cool. Flash forward: he helped catching nazis and all that, but he created the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. You see? Evil. He turned into something really similar to a nazi himself. You can say he changed his mind from time to time... but anyway on which side he is 90% of the time? Dingdingding EVIL.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Magneto. I love Darth Vader. I love the Master. But this doesn’t prevent me to call them by their names: villains. Of course they’re not the classical MWAHAHAH-I-AM-EVIL-BECAUSE-I-WANT-TO villain. That disappeared in the ‘80s. Thank God. Every villain now has a reason to be a villain. It’s impossible to do otherwise in the 21st century, people would laugh instead of being scared (or aroused, pick yours). Being attracted by a villain doesn’t make YOU the villain. It simply means that you like the characters, their psychology, their backstory, their looks, whatever. Stop describing them as little children in need of protection. They are not. We can understand them, their motive, their actions. We can feel empathy towards them. We cannot justify them. Or are you so unsure about your morals that you are scared not to distinguish good from bad if you just let yourselves enjoy those villains for what they are?

They are villains. They are evil. They are great.

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how people think bilinguals speak: bonjour comment ça va- oh my! :) was that français? silly me, im sorry, hon hon hon, oh! did i do it again? mon dieu, it's hard to switch sometimes, my brain doesn't realize, je suis désolée-

how we actually speak: no but you know that one thing, the uh, you put stuff in it?? no, nOT A DRAWER. it's... it's small!! and round!! oh my god, shit, fuck, u hh h... it's grey and metallic and uhhh.. fuck... it goes tin tin tin when you tap it with a fo- TIN CAN!! IT'S A TIN CAN!!

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Marvel AvsX

Fox won't let Disney buy the rights for X-Men. Disney wants to buy Fox Entertainment. Concept: X-Men Cinematic Universe (XMCU) is collapsing and the universes collide (like seen in Secret Wars 2015/16). Mutants use a tear in the fabric of reality to escape (an OP omega level mutant can manipulate reality and open a breach in space and time) and end up in MCU. The Avengers living there notice their arrival and see it an invasion. War begins. Here's AvsX. Here's a mash up without a reboot.

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“This isn’t you Ahsoka!”

     “Isn’t it? I feel more like myself than I ever have!”

“My master could never be as vile as you!”

     “Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him.”

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It’s an art form, Steve. You can’t rush art. 

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I’m only a man, With a chamber who’s got me. I’m taking a stand, To escape what’s inside me.

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Magneto in House of M #7

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[Erik Confronts Peter]

Me: Peter, Erik, look at yourselves! You're father and son! You're supposed to love each other, not kill each other! This isn't the Bible!

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Basically the last 3 x men movies

Everyone else: Erik no!

Magneto: Erik yes!

Everyone else: …….

Magneto: …….

Everyone else: ……. Magneto: Ok fine Erik no

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x-men plot in a nutshell

erik: *something tragic happens*

erik: *throws a temper tantrum*

erik: *cries*

erik: goodbye old friend