musingsofamessymind

[musingsofamessymind]

watching crashing waves in the sky,

with a looming gloom in my heart

[musingsofamessymind]

pov

guy says he loves you

then disappears the next day

🤡

[musingsofamessymind]

I need to get myself out of the shelves

[musingsofamessymind]

Ask me again,

When we’re doing the mundane

The mediocre

Ask me again,

When you’re level-headed

And your mind is clear as day

Your heart is calm

Chest at ease

The chores, the routines

Simply living

Then I’d answer,

With mind as clear as day

And heart as calm and content as could be

[musingsofamessymind]

No matter how enticing fantasy is

It’s still just a fantasy

[musingsofamessymind]

She has to constantly remind herself that she wanted this, that she prayed for this

While she was busy at work doing nothing

While she was bored out of her wits

While worrying about what comes next

She has to console her heart, to tame it so it stops being anxious and weary and dizzy with uncertainty

[musingsofamessymind]

Four hours of sleep seemed enough after waking up

At night sleep creeps up earlier than usual

But she will not indulge if she feels it’s not yet time

In those early hours, the first few hours that she’s awake

She can’t help but wait in anticipation for inspiration

Maybe, just maybe, it will come and pull her out of her misery

As nothing comes and she tries for more sleep to no avail

She ends up ruminating until the break of dawn

[musingsofamessymind]

you’ve become nothing more than an inspiration for a shitty poetry.

[musingsofamessymind]

now that i think about it

you sound like an awful person.

[musingsofamessymind]

Wilted plant on an icecream tub on one corner of the office reminds me of myself

For a moment

But I’m lucky because I’m not beyond saving

I don’t know why

But this kind of thought almost always appear whenever I’m sipping my coffee

And it’s black, without milk and sugar

I actually ate the sugar first. I usually don’t

But it was wrapped in a table napkin and I couldn’t get myself to throw it out

Bitter aftertaste lingers on my tongue

I don’t hate it

I took another glance at the plant

Checking to see if maybe I saw wrong and it was actually still alive, it’s not

I’ve downed my coffee

And I’m done writing

[musingsofamessymind]

coming down with the blues again

in the “what is the meaning of life” mood

found that watching dramas somehow makes it worse so reading a book instead - it helps, i think

hoping to get out of this soon

[musingsofamessymind]

What I want

Is to not have the time to regret

To let things come as they are

Whether I accept or reject them

I’d take responsibility for my choice

[musingsofamessymind]

do you also lie in bed

in the early hours of the morning

looking at the ceiling

and at times

contemplating your life?

[musingsofamessymind]

at war with my thoughts.

[musingsofamessymind]

you stopped me dead on my tracks

made me wait, as if you’ve got something better for me

i waited eagerly, hoping you’d come with me

little did I know, it was just for show

your feelings, they’re still fleeting

now i know better

not to expect anything from you

i’ll walk away, move on

restart my journey, alone

[musingsofamessymind]

i thought it’s going

to hurt with every drop of

rain. but no, it didn’t.

[musingsofamessymind]

you gave me the sign

and now, finally, it’s time

for me to let go