mustlovemassiffs

[mustlovemassiffs]

Are there different types of massiffs? I think I saw an orange one!

S'pose it's something like how tookas can have different colored fur - different massiffs have different hues to their skin. We don't have any orange ones (though those sound so cool!) but we do have a nice mix of greens and browns.

[mustlovemassiffs]

I heard that you have some massiffs that don't fit for duty. What would you say to me taking one of those cutie patooties of your hands???

(I promise i'll walk him and feed him and snuggle him and give him lots and lots and lots of love!!!!!!! (mom said i could if you agreed!))

It's true, some of 'em are just too friendly to snap into a work mode where they can't say hi to everyone they see! Now as per GAR regulation, we can't give republic property like our K9s out to civvies. We have to set them up in animal shelters and from there anyone can adopt them out. However, erm- they're very wriggly and unpredictable when they're still young, and they tend to make mad dashes for the doors of our facilities if a trooper enters or exits without being too careful. If someone were to stand outside with, say, massiff treats in their pockets and a leash, one could be smuggled away rather easily. Thankfully, no one's ever done that before, and I'm sure no one ever will :)

[mustlovemassiffs]

Do massiffs smell? Cause i think they would but at the same time they don't really sweat cuz they're sorta lizards

Unfortunately, they do. If they’re bathed regularly they don’t, but that’s entirely dependent on what they decide to roll in for the day. You can try to keep them clean all you want but they’ll always find a puddle to stomp in. Also, massiff food smells disgusting, especially when they’re sticking their face up against yours and just breathing on you

[mustlovemassiffs]

Is coruscant the only regiment (or group of the GAR) that has massiffs, or are there others in the field?

Officially, it’s just us. However, if you ask the right people, some of those maniacs from the 501st smuggled one onto their ship and Bly’s Jedi got real attached to one of our pups last birthing season that mysteriously disappeared when they took off… I’m sure there’s more that just haven’t hit the gossip mills yet, but I’ll keep my ear out for you 🫡

[mustlovemassiffs]

How many other massiffs/handler squads are there? I met another and the trooper was super nice! I thought I saw him again but was a bit embarrassed when I was mistaken.

Ah, don't worry about it, we've all mixed up shinies before. Some of the troopers just don't have identifying marks on their armor yet, don't sweat it. There's a fair amount of us, could be 10-20 on patrol at any given time. We try assigning one K9 unit to each high-alert sector, so it just depends on the activity of the day.

[mustlovemassiffs]

When a handler gets a massiff, does the massiff pick the trooper or the trooper pick the massif?

Mm, it depends. If we're lucky enough to get to socialize solo troopers with massiff puppies, they typically plant their little butts in a trooper's lap and that's that, they're paired. When the massiffs are older and they've already gone through their training, they're a little more well-behaved, and they'll work with whoever we assign them to. It doesn't happen often, but if a trooper's having trouble connecting with their K9 and they're just not a compatible pair, each one will be partnered with someone else.

[mustlovemassiffs]

Do massiffs sleep in the barracks with you?

What? No, that's against regulation. We wouldn't allow that.

[mustlovemassiffs]

So..dating one of those 501st boys but you bunch deserve all the love too! I see how hard you all work and the chaos they make for you..(i apologize btw..I'm working on their manners)

Other than caf, what are the drinks of choice for you bunch? Just in case they magically show up at the barracks.. along with a bantha bone for Grizzer 💙

That's why Fox has been marginally less stressed! I was wondering, I guess it's because he hasn't had to haul one of those blue maniacs out of the drunk tank and bury any incriminating evidence in a while.

As for drinks, our on-site medic has banned Fox from any stimulants for the near future as he recovers from what he calls, 'the most egregious case of caffeine addiction this galaxy's ever seen', but that also means that Fox is grouchy and is liable to steal any caf that he can scrounge up from other unsuspecting troopers that aren't paying enough attention. Long story short, we're all off of caffeine until the medics say that Fox is running on sleep more than he is caf. If a couple of drinks were to magically appear at the delivery door at the back of the main office building, they would have to be decaf, and preferrably warm as we head into colder weather. Such magic would be paid back in a very loyal guard positioning outside of said magic user's apartment complex, and Grizzer always remembers the people who bring her bantha bones.

[mustlovemassiffs]

What happens to a massiff if their handler dies? I mean like attitude wise.

it's... not pretty. some handlers have varying bonds with their massiffs but working that close with 'em, you've gotta be bonded to some degree. massiffs usually aren't reassigned if they lose their handlers, 'cause even if the new handler is a great trooper the massiff just isn't the same. we honor 'em though, keep 'em fed and cared for and they're taken out on patrol once in a while to see how they'd work if we ever did want to reassign them.

[mustlovemassiffs]

Do massiffs shed their skin? I pet one once and I think it was shedding, some flakes came off.

The babies do! It's sort of like losin' baby teeth, I guess. They stop shedding at about 2 years old, and sometimes that's the only way you can tell they're still just puppies 'cause they're as big as the adult ones! I have some of Grizzer's baby scales and my vode make fun of me for it but I think they're neat

[mustlovemassiffs]

How much could I… theoretically pay a guard patrol to scare my ex? Theoretical payment could be money or treats. Theoretically of course

Ah, unfortunately we're not allowed to accept bribes like that so we'll do it for free, we gotta follow the GAR code of conduct which means no commission-based jobs. I hope he doesn't do anythin' to ya. Meet us behind Dex's diner at nine pm tomorrow. Off topic, Grizzer can growl really loud on command.

[mustlovemassiffs]

Ah! I told the Commander to share the cookies! I’ll send a new batch for you, I’ll say there for Grizzer and shape them like treats but know they’re for you and your other ARF troopers!

Stay safe out there!

-GF of a clone

Aw, you're a real sweet girl, thanks for that! Grizzer will probbaly steal some too if she hears they're for her but that's okay 'cause I'll share with her.

[mustlovemassiffs]

If you could do another job besides working with Massiffs, what would it be?

I think being at a jedi's right hand would be neat. Everyone worships the commanders that get assigned their own Jedi. But I like the Guard! So I'm happy I'm here, but maybe being on lightsaber pickup patrol would be cool too.

[mustlovemassiffs]

So spine size and placement matter?

I was looking and some have tall in the middle but small on the sides while others have tall all over. Is it a pack rank thing or age thing? Depends on gender?

It actually is more random than you'd think! Age is a factor, yeah, but a lot of times they just grow like humans' hair would. some people have the capacity to grow much longer hair than others, and some massiffs' spines grow like crazy and some don't. or, if one is broken off (more common than you think, those guys are clumsy!), we'll file the tip down and it'll have to regrow. They're like nails, they grow and have to be kept up with otherwise they'll never stop.

[mustlovemassiffs]

Can Massiffs scar? I’d imagine it’d be difficult with their thick hide

They can! It takes a lot, 'cause their skin's really tough and armored. But it happens, something sneaks through the gaps in their armor plating or they get struck on their underbellies which are softer. Hate to see it happen but it is possible.

[mustlovemassiffs]

Hey, I think I found the binders that one guard said they left, and told Commander Fox they "lost" in the lower levels. (It has the very unnecessary senate symbols on it why do you guys need that, did a Senator make you guys put that there or something?! Are they custom made or something?)

Do you guys want it back, or nah? I can drop it off at a guard station if you need.

Thanks for the thought, but if those were used for what I think they were…. We don’t want ‘em back. They’re yours now, if you want ‘em, feel free to doodle over the symbols and don’t lock yourself anywhere without the key!

[mustlovemassiffs]

Does Grizzer have any babies?? If so, what happened to them?

Not yet- I dunno if i could handle the cuteness if she did! But hypothetically, we'd try training them all, and if some of the pups didn't make it through the program, we'd offer them up to the Jedi temple before outsourcing to no-kill shelters in the area. That's what we do when the other massiffs have litters and if anyone asks no we do not take our pick of the litter before contacting the Jedi or the local shelters. Any such rumors are false and it would be highly illegal for us to be witholding government property thorn has one named bug