my-infinite-thoughts

[my-infinite-thoughts]

Someday..

“Someday I’ll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me, where troubles melt like lemon drops, oh, way above the chimney tops, that’s where you’ll find me.”

— Over The Rainbow, Judy Garland(from The Wizard Of Oz) /Pentatonix

[my-infinite-thoughts]

Does anyone ever wonder if they’re just bad for everyone and better off by themselves…?

[my-infinite-thoughts]

Honestly..

I'm not too sure how I'll be doing this I just know I need a place to speak without having anything go wrong in my real life you know? Like there are certain things I can't say out loud without something going wrong. Like today I was listening to Praying by Kesha. It made me think about a situation I went through recently. I was recently sexually assaulted by my aunt's boyfriend. Now no one believed me because we were both drunk. I was willing to forgive and forget and going on like nothing happened. I was stupid I know I am but after a while had passed I went back to drinking with my aunt and her boyfriend it was almost like it never happened but when i was drinking then I never knew when to stop. So I'd wake up the next day not really remembering what had happened. This only happened twice by the way. The bits and pieces I did though.. It was bad. If i was alone with her boyfriend he would be all on me trying to kiss me and fool around and i just let it happen. Now I know even drunk I should've known better but i don't know what happened.. I should've told my aunt but i never did. I was scared. Eventually she found out and now I'm more than sure she hates me. I have no idea how or if there even is a way to apologize to her... I'm just lucky no one else in my family knows because I'm sure they would hate me too..

[my-infinite-thoughts]

So this is gonna be a thing..

I feel like I need a place to safely speak my thoughts and share what I've been through. Whether or not this actually reaches anybody I'm doing this for me. If by chance any of you see a post of mine and want to say something about it or just want to get something off your chest by all means go ahead. I'm hoping maybe I can help others as I work on making myself better.