my-name-is-jefferooni

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Hey. I’m back. Not for any reason you’re thinking of, though…

Yes, I’ve returned after… God, how long has it been? A month? Two months? Eh, whatever. I’ll catch up on all the cool comics I’ve missed later on. Right now I’ve got my mind set on the new Sonic IDW issue 69. Because… Oh boy, it’s just a disappointment to be honest.

Alright, so it starts off strong with a good intro page and some extraordinary art, as usual. Pretty cool plot too, with the race actually being an advertisement event for Clean Sweep and the Restoration. We also finally get to see more of Jewel and… Whatever his name is, the Opossum guy. (He’s so forgettable that I forget his name too easily lmao) So with all that setup, you’d think the rest of the issue itself would be a great read, but no. It really isn’t.

My first main gripe is that the Diamond Cutters don’t really act as much of a team at all. It’s mostly just Lanolin and Tangle showing us how split their ideals are, and that alone just makes me sad. This team was set up to be the new and improved Diamond Cutters, the more inexperienced yet connected team that would follow the previous versions type of work ethic. We were lead to believe they’d all grow to become closer teammates and friends. But here we’re shown them all just growing farther and farther apart, with Whisper not even saying a single word throughout the whole issue! And when it comes to their role in the story, they don’t even do much. They don’t really participate in the race, they just act as a police department replacement. Jet literally calls them the Fuzz. How much more on-the-nose can you get? It’s insulting and depressing seeing them like this if I’m being truly honest.

And that’s not to mention that Lanolin and Whisper basically shoot guns at people and they don’t get reprimanded by themselves for that, when Jet and Sonic simply bumping into each other got them both a strike.

My next and much smaller issue with, well, the issue, is Surge and Kit. They hardly do anything for the story, mostly just acting as a plot device to give the writers a reason to disqualify Sonic, Tails, and Amy. They hardly get any page-time in the present, with a majority, if not all their time being spent as a flashback. All that time spent with Surge and Kit being praised and adored by the people they hurt in issue 67 was leading up to this issue, and this is what we get for it all?? Really? And when Surge activates the scam on Amy’s extreme gear, when it just goes crazy and shit, there’s no smooth transition or indicator that she’s about to press a button for us readers. All we get is a single panel after Jet says “I’ll beat you all fair and square!” This, along with Surge’s color also being green, misleads me into thinking that Jet was the one who pushed the button and activated the scam, when I should be clued in that it was actually Surge. It’s confusing and should have been pointed out during the editing or proofreading phase of the upload process or whatever the process is called for making a comic. This could just be me being stuffy about it though.

And finally, for my biggest and pettiest problem of them all, Eggman.

This bitch did not deserve to come back. Oh my god.

So! To start this off, ima ask a question to Lanolin, and to you, the reader. Why the fuck did Sonic and his friends have to be disqualified?? Lanolin could clearly see that something was wrong with their extreme gear, and could easily tell that the issue was not their fault at all. It was a problem caused by someone likely inside the tech team, the people who watched over the extreme gear throughout the night! Lanolin knew this, and yet she still disqualified the team from the rest of the race. Why?

Anyhow, her disqualification of Sonic’s team lead the three Mobians to a small local restaurant where they talked about it, and then BAM. SUDDENLY EGGMAN IS HERE, AND NOBODY IS QUESTIONING IT. AT ALL. WHAT THE FUCK.

You know, since Eggman is literally a world-renowned war criminal and a mad scientist who dumped a giant fucking plague on the whole planet, you’d think that the rest of Mobius would be a bit more cautious around the guy. You’d think that if he just waltzed right on into a restaurant, everyone else would run and hide. You’d think there would be screaming, fighting, people begging to leave. Because compared to the Mobians, this guy is huge! He towers above them all, and his big fat body and mustache are not hard to notice in public when combined with his height. Anyone who saw him in public, no matter what he would be wearing, would instantly know who he is and would run away immediately!

And yet, all we see is a young worker just staring at Eggman being threatened by the others, looking quite awkward, as if it’s just a simple bar fight or as if she isn’t looking directly at a goddamn murderer.

What.

This isn’t even talking about Sonic’s experiences and feelings about Eggman! I haven’t even talked about Sonic much at all in this post! But for Sonic to just sit there awkwardly as Eggman shuffles into the booth across from him, for the hedgehog to tell his friends to not attack the guy after their last meeting, for him to just sit there and hear out his literal lifetime arch nemesis like that… It’s downright disgusting. During or even before the Metal Virus, Sonic would only do this kinda shit if the world were about to end. He’d only pay Eggman a second thought if they were all about to die, right then and there. EVEN WHEN THEY TEAMED UP DURING THEIR LAST MEETING, THEY ONLY DID IT BECAUSE THEY BOTH HAD THE SAME GOAL OF TAKING OUT SURGE WHO, AT THE TIME OF THEIR DEAL, WAS A MAJOR THREAT TO THE REST OF THE WORLD THAT HAD TO BE NEUTRALIZED IMMEDIATELY. SONIC ONLY TEAMED WITH EGGMAN BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON, EGGMAN DIDNT WANT SURGE TO KILL SONIC. THAT WAS THAT.

But here? They’re just in a restaurant. Talking. No strings attached, no real meaning behind it. And the reason why Eggman sought out Sonic of all people���?

Because he was insulted that Mobians insulted him and his robots.

…

I’m sorry.

W H A T. T H E. A C T U A L. F U C K ? ? ?

I do not even need to tell you how absolutely absurd this reasoning is. I do not need to sit here for another 40 minutes explaining to you all the reasons why this reasoning is genuine bullshit. I do not need to go on another rant and tell you what you already know.

But I will say this: Eggman is a threat. Eggman is a villain. He can be funny at times, he can be goofy at times, but overall we must know what he is capable of. Because of what he’s capable of, Eggman can do just about anything to anyone if he is to be insulted or mocked. He could send a horde of robots and kill that person until they’re double-dead. Bro could nuke their house. HE COULD SEND ANOTHER GODDAMN ROBOTIC PLAGUE ON THE WORLD JUST BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT. EGGMAN HAS THE MEANS AND THE DRIVE AND THE POWER TO LITERALLY DO ANYTHING. HE HAS AN EGO BIG ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT A LITTLE INSULT WON’T DO SHIT TO HIS EMPIRE. BRO HAS BEEN MOCKED BEFORE BY THE MOBIANS. HE’S BE HATED, FEARED, EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN AND MORE.

Yet, when the Mobians, the people he’s hurt, killed, enslaved, ZOMBOTIFIED… When they simply make a mockery of him on television during a Clean Sweep advertisement… He goes ballistic and enlists Sonic to help him get revenge.

What a fucking man-child.

The writers for this issue are intentionally making Eggman seem more comedic and pathetic than villainous. They are turning this lifetime enemy of Sonic into a begrudging clown, a shadow of the man he was during the Metal Virus, and they are doing it with a satisfied grin on all their pretty faces. I don’t hate anyone or truly despise anyone for this decision to make Eggman seem more of a bumbling fool or a businessman. I just… I’m honestly just disappointed. Eggman is meant to be scary, he’s meant to be a villain. Not… Whatever this is! I don’t even know what he’s supposed to be anymore! His robots make a fake game show for Sonic and his friends all because their boss is obsessed with Dance Moms. Sure, that makes sense, they’re Orbot and Cubot and their job is to make Eggman happy. Eggman teams up with Sonic and then double-crosses him again simply because they have similar goals? Yeah, okay, kinda weird but nothing too out of the ordinary. Because at least in those two examples, we still know what Eggman’s supposed to be. We still know how menace he can be, because he still has his ingenuity and his robotic prowess behind him. But here? When he’s in a tiny restaurant in a purple suit, willingly helping and making a deal with Sonic the Hedgehog, his lifelong enemy?? I have no idea who or what this man is supposed to be. I don’t know who I’m looking at here. All I see is a sad excuse to move the plot along and introduce another new character to the story. That’s all I can see.

Issue 67 was a failure, a flop, a disgusting mess of an issue. But this? Issue 69 is just a sad, sorry disappointment.

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Reblog this and put in the tags what you think your role is in your fandom.

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

WAIT NO WAY IVE HEARD ABOUT THIS CHALLENGE OH MY GOD

Also this looks amazing

Sonic drawing for a redraw challenge on twitter by @/luxar_b3d

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Sonic in my Linked AU be like:

[guy who likes to help everyone always but is also suicidal and some sort of pervert voice] no yeah you can drink my blood. It’s fine

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

LEMONADE SUPER AMY MY BELOVED

i dunno

strawberry lemonade

amy x super sonic is strawberry lemonade

super amy is strawberry lemonade

lemons

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Canon

im sorry this is so fucking them

og meme below cut!

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

THE WORLD IS YOURS...

what will you do with it?

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

(fucking keels over and dies because yes he is Shado but cooler)

Shado but cooler

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

uwaaa

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

istg tho if they don’t almost kill Sonic with a semi-truck then what would even be the fucking point

In an interview with @GamesRadar, #SonicMovie3 producer Toby Ascher confirms the entry “takes a lot from Sonic Adventure 2.”

Ascher also told @GamesRadar that #Sonic 3 is “probably the most exciting thing we’ve done in the franchise.”

#SonicNews

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

sonadow doodles bc I love them

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Me looking at all the cool Shadow art: It’s okay, I’ll make some later and contribute to the community 🤗✨

Me 5 seconds later: I CANNOT DRAW SHADOW FOR SHIT. 😭😭😭

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Big Oof

so my shadow angst blew up on tiktok and i think sharing is caring so tumblr you can have it too

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH

TELL ME MORE.

thing for my au where using the chaos emeralds/anything with chaos energy fucks up the user’s body and afflicts them with an intense disease

it’s called chromaffliction!!! aka chaos syndrome

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA OMIGOSH THESE ARE SO SO GOOOOOODDD

Had to keep myself from squealing at how accurate these were because I’m with someone else atm but oh my god these are incredible! Amazing work!

Animatic ?

haha no —fake screenshots they were inspired by Sad-its

tell me what think is going on in these scenes

I’m very curious :]

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Oh my god.

so i came across a sonic mod/exe/thing called "sink" and it got me thinking

when people try to make sonic "scary", they never really do it for me because they try to ground it too much in reality:

"oh, sonic's in the real world and is trying to kill me!"

"oh, my game is corrupted"

imo, they're not coming at it from a game angle - they're too focused on outside looking in, rather than inside looking out.

for example, a popular fandom question - why is sonic afraid of water?

if you were on the outside looking it, you could probably shrug and say "well, they needed some kind of weakness gameplay-wise and the creators didn't think hedgehogs could swim. that's that."

inside looking out, however? consider!

MAJOR WARNING FOR DROWNING BELOW THE BREAK

you're sonic the hedgehog.

at the time of the classic games, which to you are your entire life, you're 12 with miles prower (your newly acquired and handy buddy) sitting at a clean 4 years old. sometimes it crosses your mind that he might be too young for this, but time and time again, he's put your worries to rest.

you're proud of him. he's smart and you're quick - you're the perfect duo.

you must've run hours before you enter into chemical plant zone and make your way through the lower path. its been a fairly standard journey up until this point and you're not about to be intimidated by some overgrown factory. (do factories even grow? you decide to ask miles later)

at this point, you're more than aware of how your life works. it's okay if you get hurt, because you have rings. it's okay if you "pass out", because you always wake up at the start of the area you were just in, with everything just as it was.

not to brag, but you happened to think you were pretty indestructible.

falling and rolling down unimaginable stretches of pipes, you and miles finally reach a new area: a hydraulic door opens in front of you, revealing a long chute upwards. cut and dry - you turn towards miles to grab his hand.

the door shuts behind you and, as quick as you can hold your breath, you're plunged under purple water.

miles - you've grown to calling him tails, because it's easier to say; you're still twelve, after all - begins paddling upwards with ease, but you find yourself horrifyingly heavy in the water. it grabs you, pulls you downwards, thousands of arms pinning your every movement.

you jump, and hit the first platform.

you kind of regret not learning how to swim.

tails has paddled so far upwards that you can't see him anymore - not through the sludge of this water, anyway. it seems to be getting heavier too, dragging your movements as you scramble to reach the second platform.

your hands miss.

your feet fail.

you fall back down.

you become consciously aware of how tight your chest is.

you keep trying, to the same result; jump, fall. jump, fall. you aren't sure how much longer you can hold your breath, either, and the hydraulic doors are shut fast - you can't even budge them.

you've tried.

you can just about imagine tails in your mind's eye as you try the platform again, scrambling around in a panic. he's four, in a mechanised factory with no way out, suddenly all on his own. the thought alone propels you forward, and you land a grip on the platform above you.

a foothold. something - there's gotta be some way out of this.

you glance up.

the clearance of the ceiling above you is still high, but for a brief second, you can see the lights of the level above you. you can see the wavering figure of tails, looking in from above, his two tails flickering around.

he looks nervous.

you can't help but laugh in relief - he's okay.

your mistake hits you all at once.

there is no air. the crushing weight of the water bears downwards, and you drop like a stone. there are no chaos emeralds, there is no life-saving device here. just water, yourself, and your own stupid reflection.

the "passing out" feeling begins sweeping over you, and just before you shut your eyes, you recount every last feeling you've ever felt - that time you dropped from spring yard zone and hit the ground a bit too hard, or the time the walls of marble zone came in faster than anticipated.

the time robotnik (eggman, you teased, once upon a time) hit you a bit too hard.

you're dying.

you're dying over and over again, and this time the only exception is that you're made to feel it.

you want to cry.

you can't.

the water cries for you.

you blink, and you're right back at the beginning of chemical plant zone. the sky is clear, the sun is warm; the wind blows through you.

tails looks up at you, waving his hand in front of your eyes to get your attention. he looks just as expectantly nervous as he did before you entered.

he asks if you're ready.

you can't make yourself move. all you can do is drop to your knees and cry.

you heave a breath of air, but all you can taste is water.