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[myblondemind]

You ever had one of those days when you question everything about your life? Why did I do this? Why did I do that? What have I done so horrible that karma keeps coming back and kicking my ass? Why did I let my guard down? Why did I fall in love? Just why?

I’ve tried to be a better person. I try every day to do the right thing. Some how I just continue to fuck up with every breath I take. I tried being a good friend. I tried to be a good mom. I tried to be a good daughter. I tried to be a good wife & when that didn’t work out I tried being an even better girlfriend. But no matter how hard I try it is never enough. It’s never the right decision.

I help the needy. I have a relationship with God. I give until I have nothing left to give. Yet, I continue to be the one to get heartbroken. I don’t think my heart can be broken any more. You can only fit the pieces back together so many times before they don’t fit anymore.

[myblondemind]

[myblondemind]

[myblondemind]

Depression: a silent killer

A lot of you know, some don’t, but I either draw or write as an outlet to express myself. These things aren’t to be negative. It is therapeutic and if my drawings or writings can help one person then I have to do it.

With that being said, you can continue to read or not. Up to you.

Depression sucks. Anxiety too. It’s so hard to explain to people. Even on days when you think you are okay, life happens and you get overly emotional for no apparent reason. A simple discussion makes you cry. Most people don’t understand. They just think you are crying over nothing and sometimes you are, but you can’t control it. Sometimes the simplest things set you off. They either piss you off, make you super defensive or make you cry. Where as, when the depression isn’t rearing it’s ugly head, those things wouldn’t even phase you. And Lord help us when there really are things emotionally going on in our lives! With depression you can only put on that fake smile for so long. If we happen to break down just remember that we have been trying to hold it together a lot longer than you think.

People with depression aren’t lazy. This condition makes you exhausted yet it causes insomnia. It causes headaches and body pains. Add these symptoms to other medical issues (in my case anxiety, arthritis, fibromyalgia, allergies & hypothyroidism) and you never know how you are going to be feeling for the day (or the hour even)!

Another thing about depression, it takes many YEARS to find out what all of your triggers are. It could be a word, phrase, action or event. It might be a smell, a taste or a person. I’m still learning mine.

Sure, there is medications to “help”, but in all honesty have you read all of the side effects of these medications? It’s like you have to choose to either be depressed and unharmed from pharmaceuticals or be medicated for the depression and take your chances. Of course, there are those “medications” that will help that doesn’t have side effects but the federal government hasn’t legalized those and most of us in the workforce can’t use them because it would cost us our jobs.

I would never wish this horrible monster on anyone! If you haven’t ever suffered from it, please don’t judge those of us who do. We didn’t choose this. If you do suffer, know you are not alone.

Remember, you don’t know what others are going through at any given moment. Be nice people! And if someone breaks down on you, flips out on you or secludes themselves, don’t take it personal. The last thing we want to do is show weakness, hurt someone’s feelings or not be a part of the party!

I do want to say that I am very lucky to have family, friends and coworkers that try to the best of their ability to understand. I might not always seem grateful or show my appreciation, but I do love y’all for your patience, understanding and listening when I need you to.

If you have made it this far, thank you for reading and taking the time to try and understand.

[myblondemind]

Today’s media sources

WARNING: Angie’s opinion. Reader beware.

As always, I welcome input, opinions and comments. I will not tolerate ugliness, name calling, bullying or belittling.

So here goes:

When did news reporters stop reporting the facts? Everyday I see one of the news stations posting stories that are half-truths or a copy and paste from another source.

Today’s media sources don’t care about the details. They care about ratings and who can get the audience riled up the most.

Everyday we see a video about police brutality. I want to see the video of what happened BEFORE the shooting, BEFORE the tasing, BEFORE the beat down. I want to see the video of someone following all police orders and these things happening. That doesn’t ever get shown. I want the media to show me the white man that is being shot/tased/manhandled when he doesn’t comply. It happens. Show me. I can’t judge for racism until I see all of the facts. Oh believe me, racism exists, I see it everyday. But, of all the videos I’ve seen, I haven’t seen racism. I’ve seen someone breaking the law (or committing an offense of some sort) and not following police orders.

The newest post is the one about the college not choosing 4 girls (who previously was kneeling during the anthem) for their cheer squad. That was the headline. The story is that they had a lot more girls try out this year. One girl that had knelt the previous year made the team. Three others who didn’t did not make the team. These 4 girls didn’t make the team because of ability, not because they protested.

“In God We Trust” posted in the schools...GOOD. No one is forcing this on anyone. You don’t like it, look away. It is there for the ones who do believe. If you send your child to the school in a headwrap or don’t give your child vaccinations because it’s your religion, why can’t I have my religion there? Hotels are putting the Book of Mormon in rooms now? Ok. Those people who believe in that has as much right to their book as I do to mine.

The media knows that the majority of people only read headlines. So the headlines are written to get the most attention. What will shock the audience the most? What will get them stirred up so I can get the most comments?

Do I believe there are bad cops? Yeah. Do I believe there are cops that went into the job for the right reasons? Heck yes! Racism? Of course. It works all sorts of ways. Whites against blacks, blacks against whites. Black and white against Mexicans. Christians and atheists fighting.

I am a Christian. I have a black boyfriend. I have a gay uncle. I have transgender and gay friends. I have family that are in law enforcement. I have a a cousin who is atheist. I have family that is racist. I even know people that I’m not positive are American citizens. You know what? I love them all. I do not let the media decide for me. They are all special to me.

I know this is probably poorly written, I apologize. I’ve never claimed to be a journalist (unlike some news reporters).

My final thought:

Read the stories people. Watch the ENTIRE videos. If you want your rights, you have to allow others to have theirs. When judgement day comes, your opinion won’t matter.

[myblondemind]

What do you consider mainstream news? I never watch FOX , CNN or MSNBC. For tv I watch PBS I feel the are the least biased out of the others.

FOX,CNN and MSNBC, but also most local channels. Most local channels (in my area anyway) get their reports from to aforementioned stations.Also, so many share fake news from social media. Too many have the mentality of “if it’s on the internet, it must be true”

[myblondemind]

Opinion 6/30/18

⚠️If you get offended easily, you might not want to read this‼️

I do not understand the divide in this country or know when it started. I suppose it has always been here, that it just never received the publicity it does now.

When I was growing up people didn’t say who they voted for and it was frowned upon if you asked. Today everyone knows who everyone voted for.

Yes, I voted for Trump. He is my President. I never voted Obama, but because I live in the USA, he was also my President. I have always respected whoever was voted in, because it was majority vote and because that person was Commander in Chief.

I have been called names and told I am evil, racist and heartless because I support our President. Obviously these people do not know me. I am always giving to people in need. I do not hate anyone. I have lived through abuses that many could not handle, been close to homeless and have draws temporary government assistance. My compassion gets me in trouble often.

I am not one to judge, never have. There is only one judge that matters and he is not in earthly form! I have had friends that were rich and I have friends that have been so poor that I’ve taken out a second job to buy their family Christmas. I’ve helped women escape unhealthy relationships and even purchased items for them to help them out. I have helped out addicts, blacks, whites and people contemplating suicide. I have never asked for recognition or payback. Seeing these people recover and get on their feet is my payback.

I have family and friends that are gay, lesbian and transgender. I have family and friends that are black, mixed, native Americans or Hispanic. Heck, my boyfriend is a very successful black man. I am a Christian, yet I have friends and family that are other religions, even atheists. Do I think racism exists in our country? Yes. Do I think everyone is “out to get” the black man? No! Racism works both ways and I see it often. One day I said that I didn’t care about being around someone because of their racist attitude. My BLACK boyfriend says “don’t be like that. He isn’t racist, he just doesn’t know any better.” That really opened my eyes.

Just because I do not agree with ILLEGAL means of coming into our country does not mean that I do not agree with immigration. Just because I am against it does not mean that I want harm brought to children. I do, however, feel that if you break the law you deserve your punishment. Do the kids deserve to be punished? No! But, these parents have neglected their kids by putting them in this situation. So, just as if an American parent breaks the law, the kids go through DHS and gets placed TEMPORARILY until a family member claims them.

These people calling for harm to President Trump and his family should be punished. If the threats had been made to any other president in history, they would have been arrested. That is the law.

American citizens today are more concerned about dogs and illegals than they are about their fellow Americans. Don’t get me wrong, I love my pets. But, people, I beg you, think about our military veterans that are homeless, sick, suicidal. Think about our American children living in the streets, dying from abusive, drug addicted parents and living in group homes. Think about the family who has a son or daughter/parent/siblings that are hooked on meth, crack or heroin. How can we possibly take care of illegals when we can’t take care of our own?

I hear people all of the time saying “we can’t let them in because they will rape and kill our women and children”. These people cannot say this because we have this in our country without illegals. Or “they bring drugs in”. Yeah, some do, but we have pharmaceutical companies and drug manufacturers here without illegals. We have to fix ourselves before we can blame others.

All I know is that people need to stop relying on mainstream media to get their information. The media does not report truthful news any more. They report what they think will get us riled up.

This post was not meant to offend anyone. If you are reading this and are white, Black, Hispanic, straight, bi, gay, trans, Christian, atheist or any other race, religion, Democrat, republican, liberal or anything I missed, know that I love you!😘 As always, I welcome comments and debates as long as it stays respectful!!

[myblondemind]

The miracle of beauty comes in so many forms; it’s not always for the eye to see. But, just as when we sow seeds, it takes Gods timing for us to be ready to bloom. Don’t quit before your miracle blooms!

[myblondemind]

So pretty out today! (at Shelbyville, Tennessee)

[myblondemind]

My thoughts...

These questions will probably start all kinds of stuff, but you know I’m not all about being a part of popular opinion so here goes.

Why is it that all of a sudden it’s ok for kids to skip school for protests? I sure hope these are unexcused absences. If we are going to allow them to have this “right” they need to also be taught that there are consequences to their actions.

Why is it that a 17 year old is still a child and can’t consent when he/she starts sleeping with their teacher, yet they can decide if I can carry a weapon to protect myself or not?

Increase the laws? Last I checked, teenagers are not allowed to purchase weapons. Because of this previous statement, I’m inclined to believe that every teenage shooter is illegally in possession. How exactly are the laws going to help? Is every seller on the street going to ask for id and refuse a sale? I think not.

Do all classrooms need guns? Absolutely not. IF a teacher, principal, custodian, bus driver, etc has had EXTENSIVE training, possibly.

How about we educate our children how to stand up to bullies? Teach them to not be so thin skinned. How about parents start being parents again. Because I will tell you what, if I found out my child was bullying, they would definitely get educated as soon as I found out!

Do these kids have a mental illness? Probably. Have we sat down and asked those important questions?

1. Who is in question

2. What is the problem

3. When did the problem start

4. Where did it start

5. Why did it start

6. HOW CAN WE FIX IT

Until we, as the ADULTS (parents, grandparents, teachers, doctors, policemen, CPS) start answering these questions and acting on the responses, our children will suffer!

People all the time want to ask me “Where was YOUR GOD when He let this happen?” My answer is this: My God gave each of us a rule book. MY GOD gave us freewill to make decisions. It is up to us to use that rule book for those decisions. He will be there with arms wide open when we make the wrong one, but we have to be willing to admit that we made that wrong decision and ask his forgiveness.

If I have offended anyone, step back and ask yourself those same questions. What offended you? Why did it offend you? How?

As I have said many times before when I make these posts, these are my thoughts and opinions. I welcome all thoughts, opinions and responses (even if they differ from mine) as long as they are RESPECTFUL! No name calling or character bashing.

[myblondemind]

[myblondemind]

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