mybro-oncesaid
my BRO once said
Things my friend who loves me and tries to deny it everyday says to me
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"I reserve one finger just for you."
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"I miss CCA (co-curricular activities; like clubs). I miss having a gun in my hands."
#my BRO once said#no BRO is not a school shooter#she's a shooter in the school#of the school?#belonging to the school#No The school does not have assassins
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Me: Can you stop reading fanfiction.
BRO: No, I don't think I will.
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"I need to know what happens when the uterus wants revenge."
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"I want to DEFENESTRATE you."
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"Log (🤬) = log (🖕) + log (😡)"
#my BRO once said#BRO i dont even get it but okay#she didn't like my math joke#but her wallpaper is literally math formulae#like is my BRO fr#and this doesn't even make SENSE#BRO i think you've got your log laws wrong.......
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BRO traumatised me
we were discussing physics kpm and she suddenly said PV=nRT looks like pervert AND NOW I CANT UNSEE IT
That's a you problem
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"Yes the munch munch crunch"
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"My face hurts."
#my BRO once said#hi everyone! im back!#BRO finally said something funny enough!#context: was telling BRO to get help#she laughed it off
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"Frankly, the pigeons here scare me. They look like your typical corrupted power hungry Chinese old man."
#my BRO once said#i forgot what exactly she said#but this is the gist#noted with thanks bro#i did not need to know the thoughts plaguing you about those innocent birds#but you do you!
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Me: if lit (English Literature) is my best subject then I must be doing something wrong in life
BRO: Just means you're lit
#my BRO once said#AWWWWWW#thank you BRO#but then BRO turned the tables#told me this should be the pun of the year#but after studying about the eye for over 6 hours#eye have better plans#heehee
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"He sounds like make Siri"
#my BRO once said#hey i know you meant male Siri#but make Siri#do what?#hm?#don't leave us hanging BRO#i want to make Siri do something too
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"I'm a Saint, thank you very much. Unlike somebody who’s extremely mean to me."
#my BRO once said#hmm i wonder who's mean to you#you're the epitome of a mean friend#i literally send messages of affirmation to you everyday
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"My eye bags do not define me"
Me: you, you
BRO: I have a name, you know. It’s not “you”.
Me: sorry, what’s your name again? My man, my BRO?
BRO: no, it’s “triangular eyebags”
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":( that’s mean"
#my BRO once said#BRO uses emoticons rarely#but when she does it's to guilttrip me#and it always works#i don't get it BRO#your emoticons have some sort of#pathos effect
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"At least pretend to stop. At least pretend that my pain doesn't give you so much joy. At least pretend you're not sadistic."
#my BRO once said#girl#i'm just saying i love you#no need to be so drama#and act like i'm holding you captive#that you're subjected to my shenanigans#as if you don't text me voluntarily#🙄🙄
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