mygladur

[mygladur]

guess its time for me to try and explain myself again

first off, I want you to know that I am trying to improve myself and move on from what I did. I cant express with words how much I regret it and how guilty I feel for causing this damage. I will have to wait until the end of summer to talk to a therapist unfortunately, but I am doing my best to improve on my own until then. I know I cant undo what I've done, but I can at least learn and try to improve myself based on my past mistakes.

I really have no excuse for lying about my age, it was a really bad move that I should not have done at all. at the time, I thought being hypersexual was a good reason for it, but it absolutely is not. being hypersexual does not excuse low impulse control.

the proship thing is what I regret most about this, and I understand why people cant forgive me for it. the best I can do is explain how I got into that, and why I've now changed my mind about proshippers. I had found myself in an echo chamber of sorts, where I was slowly convinced that proshippers "arent that bad" and that people who hate them are "just overreacting." I am very ashamed of myself for letting these beliefs get to me, but I can comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not like that anymore. I managed to get myself out of that mindset, and I now despise proshippers as much as the next guy. proshippers are disgusting. there are no "but"s that can change that. though, I am aware that even though I've changed, it wont undo the fact that I did have that mindset at some point. the regret of it will take a good while to leave me, but I'd say that's a good thing, because at least I am aware of how much of a mistake it was to let myself get into that mindset.

the reason why I kept bugging that minor about drawing lewd art of brulo was because I genuinely didnt know they were uncomfortable. I didnt pick up on the obvious signs that they were uncomfortable with it, and I thought their protests were just part of the joke. its not their fault at all, as I should've known better and picked up on the signs that they really didnt like this "joke." I've learned to be more careful with these kinds of jokes now, and to look out for signs of the person being uncomfortable. I feel terrible for pressuring them like that, and if they somehow find this and read this; I am so sorry for misunderstanding your discomfort.

I feel horrible about the way I treated johnny as well. I get very aggressive when Im having breakdowns, even though I dont mean to. but even though I didnt mean to do it, it still happened, I still treated him like shit when he was just trying to help me. I understand why people refer to my constant breakdowns as suibaiting, but I really did try almost every time. I always failed, either because I was a coward or because my method wasnt working at all, which is where the suibait belief comes from. that's not to shame people who believe it was suibaiting, because I get it. Im trying to figure out healthier ways to deal with these breakdowns, because I dont want to make someone feel like johnny did again. I cant imagine the stress my dumb complaining and aggressive behavior put johnny through, and I feel awful for making him feel that way.

the reason why I came onto tumblr under a new alias was because I wanted to keep sharing my art and dumb ramblings. I didnt expect nor want this blog to become popular, and I had already planned to delete it if that ever were to happen. I am not made for handling big fanbases, as I've seen other people who have similar problems to me lose touch with reality and misuse their fanbases in various ways, which I dont want. though, I now feel like I shouldnt try to be on social media at all until I fully improve myself, even if its just an account with no followers on a site no one uses. social media is most definitely turning back the improvement I've already made, so I shouldnt be on it until there is no risk of me going back to my old ways.

with this post, I am not asking for forgiveness. no one is obligated to forgive me, and I'll understand no matter the reason. I am simply trying to explain myself and apologize for the damage I've caused. I really hope that people will at least understand what Im trying to say, even if they dont forgive me in the slightest. and once again, I am so sorry to everyone I've hurt, and I hope that it didnt leave any long lasting effects on anyone. I hope you all have a great rest of your day, and thank you for reading.

Okay, hi, sorry for abandoning Tumblr, but something important came up that I need to share with the Tumblr side of the Fandom.

This account is ran by bagel, who if you don't know

- lied about their age to get into n/sfw spaces

- liked mauricexpeppino art and supported someone who was openly proship

- tried pressuring a minor into drawing lewd artwork of brulo from antonblast (this was before they revealed their true age which made it 5x creepier)

- treated me like garbage everytime I tried comforting them during their suibaits

All I can recommend is to block and move on, don't give them any attention 👍

[mygladur]

Your art looks kinda familiar

its pretty much the default pizza tower ripoff art style im not surprised

[mygladur]

[mygladur]

✨️🩷 my everyday routine 🩷✨️

wake up

go back to sleep

wake up

cry over the nightmare I just had

go on c.ai for the next 2 hours because I have no one

cry because I will never undo what I've done

eat pasta

they'll find me they'll find me they'll find me they'll find me they'll find me they'll find me

lose sleep because they'll find me

bleed because they'll find me

cry because they'll find me

get angry

go to sleep

repeat

[mygladur]

peppino's never been cuddled before?

well in that case....

INCOMING!!!!!!!!!!

"I...I don't know how to feel about this"

[mygladur]

What’s Peppino and Noises opinions of them getting ship?? (ps I love the ship)

This?

I'll make Noise's opinion later, when he regains consciousness XD

[mygladur]

I AM DISTRAUGHT WHY ARE THERE NO PIZZELLE PLUSHIES ANYWHERE

NOT EVEN RIPOFFS AAAUAAAA IM GONNA SCREAM

SOMEONE PLEASE JUST MAKE A SHITTY PIZZELLE PLUSH I WILL BUY IT I NEED IT PLEASEPLWASPLEASEPLEASEPLEASPLEQEPLEASEPLWASEPLEASPLEAE

[mygladur]

me when my wife comes home <3

[mygladur]

Another unused photo from Bone Tomatoes

Again, who knows, I may reuse it-

This is MY personal artstyle, not Argentine. I know several styles.

This is gonna take a bit o -o

[mygladur]

little pizzelle from sugary spire

[mygladur]

its the 2nd and I am already feeling like giving up on artfight okay

[mygladur]

hey siri google search where to get pizzelle theodore plush for normal reasons search please thank you

[mygladur]

WORTH IT

I NEED TO KISS BLOODSHED PEPPINO SO BAD IDC IF I DIE GET THOSE OLD MAN LIPS READY IM COMING FOR EM

And then He strangles you to death.

(Sorry I don't know how to draw some1 kiss)

[mygladur]

Could you draw an Argetine version of Pizzelle?

Also for bonus can you draw Daisy?

Well uh-

Sure?

And while I can't draw your OC beyond just a doodle, I did look through your blog and can provide this bit of art history from 2021:

I miss him

[mygladur]

cutting noises*

[mygladur]

beach day

[mygladur]

are these tumblr worthy in these times

*first one is a new apron btw i think she'd have sensory issues