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Realisation

Something clicked inside me yesterday. Like a transistor switching from one state to another, so suddenly.

I saw a picture of my ex’s new girlfriend and she was so beautiful that even I had to acknowledge that I would be attracted to her. I know I don’t want to be back with him, obviously, but nonetheless there is something about this that made me switch to “fight or flight mode” and decide it was time for a run. 

I have decided to go on a diet. Is this right? Is this real? Am I going to keep it up? I don’t know. All I know is that I am profoundly different after this, but I can’t explain it fully. 

Is it her? I’ve seen hot girls before. Yes, sometimes I get profoundly jealous, but I never feel this confused. Is it him? Definitely not, because we are stil friends but that’s all we are after all - friends.

In fact, it is the realisation that not only people change, but their personal interactions change too. He did not behave with me in the same way that he behaves with her. He did not post pictures of us on instagram. He did not go around proudly telling people about me. And certainly he would have never learnt a whole new language just for me. 

This comes as a shock, since I thought he was going to be like that forever or, even worse, I thought I would be the one to change him. But instead what I got was just worry about being a nuisance for him, dread of boring him in the long run and crippling fear that he would find someone else to replace me. 

And now I see him, in all his glory, with this beautiful tall Spanish girl on his side, in the sunny city of Rome for a romantic getaway. I won’t even begin to tell about all the times that I wished we would go on holiday together just the two of us, but we never did. 

This all leaves me wondering. Am I demanding enough psychologically from my current relationship? Or am I just lowering my expectations to an acceptable level so that I don’t get too hurt?  Am I being too condescending in fear of letting my feelings grow freely and exposing them to the cruelty of the human actions?  I guess my takeaway is to learn where the discrepancy is and find my balance in between the two sides. I want to be accepting and open, but I also want to be my incredibly affectionate, caring, loving self. And I want to receive those feelings back, like the Newton forces that balance out in our universe.

Today I learn: demand, give freely, let myself love.

Myoren

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Why can’t people stop telling me I’m fat?

This is the exact question I googled about an hour ago when my mother and my aunt were looking at me while trying on dresses for my graduation and I burst into tears because they didn’t like any of the dresses and started telling me how fat I am.

Girls, please, do not let anyone define how much you’re worth based on your weight. It’s just a number, it doesn’t matter. There’s so many body positive ideals out there. So much has been achieved in this area, in terms of self acceptance and self love. Do not let people like these tell you that you’re ugly or that you could be skinnier. It doesn’t matter how close they are to you, it doesn’t matter that it’s “for your own good”. Please, let an expert, a doctor, decide whether you’re HEALTHY or not. It’s not about being skinny or fat, it’s about being in good health, exercising, eating healthy foods and being MENTALLY HEALTHY too.

Yes, because mental health is probably the most important part. Make sure that you focus on the important things in life and understand your priorities. I want people to judge me based on who I am, my achievements, my personality, not just what I look like and what size I am.

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Me now with my dissertation

Things Programmers Shout #699

“Uch… I don’t want to document this code…” // submitted by @rainaramsay

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Nothing about mathematics is actually difficult.

I’m serious. Once you get down to it, pretty much everything that you do in math can be reduced to a series of really quite simple logical-reasoning steps. It’s just that math can seem overwhelming because these steps build upon one another.

Think about this way; other subjects that you learn at a high-school level are like old, episodic TV series. You can sit down and watch any given episode and be reasonably confident that the plot will make sense, regardless of its relative position in the season or the season’s relative position in the series. So if you can, for example, read a history of the middle ages without necessarily needing to know anything about Ancient Greece; you can study human physiology without knowing anything at all about the mitochondria. The order in which these subjects are presented, at least at a high-school level, is somewhat arbitrary.

Math is like a modern, prestige format TV series full of story arcs and ongoing plotlines; each episode builds upon the one before it, to the extent that if you just put on a random episode, the odds are good that you will have only the faintest idea of what the fuck is going on. You cannot, for example, just plunk yourself down to learn about trigonometry. You need to learn about geometry, algebra, arithmetic, and even, ultimately basic counting before you understand the plot. And if you have not been paying attention, or if you have had poor teachers in the past, you may find it (temporarily) incomprehensible and be put off of the subject, but it’s important to remember that, fundamentally, it’s not anymore difficult than any other subject. It’s just that sometimes, you may need to review previous plot points in order to understand what’s going on.

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Successful People Start Before They Feel Ready

“If you’re working on something important, you’ll never feel ready. A side effect of doing challenging work is that you’re pulled by excitement and pushed by confusion at the same time.” – James Clear

The Start-Up Guy is well underway. I have been working with several businesses, including a very exciting Johannesburg-based business which is launching in the next two months. I am so honoured that they used and continue to use my services.  

I’ve noticed a common trait amongst all the guys and girls I’ve been working with recently, and I thought it might be useful to share because I think many other people are experiencing the same thing.

Almost all entrepreneurs don’t know what they’re doing and it’s perfectly okay. In fact, I don’t know of a single one who, at the outset, knew exactly what they needed to do and when to do it. Before your mind does that thing where it jumps to conclusions, let me explain.

A start-up is an experiment, a matter of trial and error. No one can be fully certain about the route it will take. At best, one can have a firm idea of the intended outcome, but whether that transpires is all dependent on the market’s response to your idea (and who really knows what that’ll be? Right?).

Sir Richard Branson has one of the most interesting entrepreneurial stories, for me, because he started many of his companies largely by mistake. He dropped out of school to continue a magazine business he had no idea was going to sustain him. As a way to grow his magazine sales, he started distributing music records made by unknown artists to his readers, and so began the journey of Virgin Records. He started Virgin Airlines after he was delayed by his flight facing maintenance issues before take-off. This guy is the epitome of just getting on with it. This guy is also worth $5 Billion today!

As an entrepreneur and business owner you have to embrace the learning process and continuously learn (by doing). Learn your market, learn your business, and continuously adapt your learnings to suit your market as you go. The entrepreneurs who embrace the learning process and respond to unexpected events in real time are often the ones who do very well.

Without babbling on for too long, the moral of the story is that not knowing what to do is not a good enough reason to not start your business. Passion and a basic idea is enough. Even if you are physically incapable of carrying out certain tasks, outsourcing skills is a thing (like helluurrr, this is why people like me are here). It is no mistake that one of the single most important traits that investors look for in entrepreneurs is passion, especially in the very early stages of a start-up. Not “intelligence.” Not qualifications. Passion (synonymous with commitment/dedication in this regard). A founder who is not passionate about what they are doing will give up when they face the inevitable hurdles of starting a business. Passion is the fuel by which a project goes from start-up to a fully-fledged business.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you can go and start the next big business with the technical skills of a toddler. I am merely saying that, within reason, you can start a business without the technical know-how, as long as you have the dedication to follow through with the necessary steps. In doing so, be realistic, tread carefully and always consult a professional when you’re thinking about making an expensive decision.

If whilst reading this article you had a certain project or idea in mind, maybe it’s time to pursue it with everything you have. Why aren’t you? That was not a rhetorical question. Like Richard Branson famously said, “screw it. Just get on and do it.” If you are really struggling with how to conceptualise or begin your business, consult me and we can find a solution together. 

Once again, thank you for reading.

Tweet me @sazi08

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Long before artificial intelligence came into its own, Christopher Strachey taught a computer to write love letters. On Valentine’s Day, a story about a machine writing love letters to no one.

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How do I know if I am a person?

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Hair inspiration Credits: Bleach London

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Ma tu davvero pensi che amore sia tormentarsi la notte perché non arriva un suo messaggio e cominciare a chiedersi dov'è e con chi e non dormire fino a che non ti scrive che è a casa? Amore è leggerezza. Davvero pensi che amore sia sapere tutti i pensieri e tutti i sogni e imparare a memoria il passato e programmare intensamente il futuro, pretendere di conoscere ogni dettaglio ogni desiderio più intimo? Amore è intuizione. Ma tu davvero ma davvero davvero pensi che amore sia stare insieme tutto il tempo ogni momento non separarsi neanche un attimo perché insicuri deboli protettivi? Amore è tenersi le mani anche lontani è rispondere a telefono a qualsiasi ora solo perché ti va tanto di parlare un po'. Tu pensi che amore sia chiedersi continuamente mi ami? Ti amo? Ci amiamo, si? Amore è dubbio ma dubbio lieve dubbio ch'è un sollievo ch'è consolazione d'essere l'uno per l'altro certezza sicura. Pensi dunque che amore sia chiudersi in una gabbia d'oro e non vedere neanche più il mare e non innamorarsi più di niente? Amore è cercarsi tra la gente e trovarsi in altri occhi e non costringersi a non vedere più nessuno sguardo perché amore non è proibire è accettare non è sperare è sognare non è sapere ma è credere e non è obbligo, ma fiducia. Amore è equilibrio e follia e non è appuntamento fisso è aspettarsi sempre e comunque in qualsiasi caso. Amore è scegliere e per scegliere c'è bisogno d'avere un sacco di opzioni se no che si sceglierebbe? Amore è stare in un modo o nell'altro sempre dentro a qualcun altro e dentro a un altro riconoscersi ecco amore non è mica perdersi, amore è ritrovarsi.

Marzia Sicignano

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"You know, I hate small talk, so how about we talk about something big?"

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You just slipped through my fingers #fingers #anathema #song #lyrics #anaturaldisaster #hand #moving

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«David Bowie was one of the band's earliest supporters and champions. He not only created the world that made it possible for our band to exist, he welcomed us into it with grace and warmth. We will take to the grave the moments we shared; talking, playing music and collaborating as some of the most profound and memorable moments of our lives. A true artist even in his passing, the world is more bright and mysterious because of him, and we will continue to shout prayers into the atmosphere he created.» - Win Butler Arcade Fire

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Brian Eno about David Bowie's death.

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RIP David Bowie

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I am still shocked

david bowie—speed of life

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how to disappear completely

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FULL STORY HERE