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[mytohs]

#2

/cw/

stare at the ceiling. count down or up. 

moan pretty for him

yes.

like that.

harder!

feel his hand around your neck and don’t think

think about his dirty finger nails and his nicotine laced breath in your face

(cotton candy today, menthol yesterday)

take it

yes. thank you,

then it is a hand on your hip squeezing

and harsh words whispered in your ear you are supposed to like

(slut,whore,babygirl,worthless,mine)

and the yelling.

(yelling at you- you’re not TRYING! just FINISH! it is your FAULT just take it just take it just take it-)

 count down for it to finish. 

it hurts and it leaves you red and the sheets are red and your thighs are red and your throat is red 

count down for it to-

he can’t and it is your fault and he is sweaty and hideous and his nails dig

into

your thighs

and his fists slam onto the pillow by your head

he 

r o l l s off your body

your (worthless, ugly, worthless, hurting) body

he is unsatisfied. you are not enough.

staring at the ceiling. panting oh so pretty for him.

he looks pretty. with the shadows on his cheek.

something in his eyes.

remorse? regret? shame? pity?

love it must be. 

he kisses your head. 

the tv is on.

he sits up and watches and you lay there.

[mytohs]

“will you be ok?”

of course i will. (no i won’t how could anyone be ok when they’ve seen what ive seen?)

“how can i help you?”

i dont need help, but thank you anyway. (please stay. hold me and stroke my hair and tell me im safe.)

“why did you do it?”

because he needed to die. (because i am so so lonely and this is the only way to get you to notice me.)

loneliness leads to killing//phoebe

[mytohs]

Don't be scared of the darkness.

//Be afraid of what's in the darkness. The creaks and the dread. Most importantly fear what lurks in the mirror. Fear the anxieties and the doubt and please, for the love of God, do not turn around and let it consume you.

[mytohs]

1000 Picspams Challenge | #603 - Eos

[mytohs]

He is beautiful while he falls.

1.

Ganymede was beautiful, is beautiful, will always be beautiful. He is good, too. He follows the rules, he doesn’t curse, he dates pretty women with tight lips and rigid backs, and he’s never behind in his school work.

This is the beginning.

2.

He spends his time in a coffee shop. It is far enough from the school to not run into anyone he knows, close enough to walk. He doesn’t have a car. The shop is tiny, dingy, and plays unknown songs from the 60s. It’s nice. It’s calm. He likes the calm.

This is the beginning.

3.

Stay away from the alleyways, his father tells him.

This is the beginning.

4.

The leader of The Eagles is tall. He is blonde and he is brooding and he is fascinating. Zeus, everyone calls him, and so he must be Zeus. Ganymede watches him from afar. Don’t fall in love, he knows. But he is entranced by the way Zeus moves, the way the wind and the rain seem to bend for him.

(Zeus was dangerous, is dangerous, will always be dangerous. He dates pretty boys and he never goes to school.)

Maybe there is no beginning. Maybe it always was.

5.

He sits in his coffee shop and stares out the window. It is raining. A group of boys- men? - walk through the door and there is a soft jingling sound as they enter. Zeus is at the back of the group wearing his leather jacket with an eagle on the arm. It is cracking around the elbows, and Ganymede doesn’t know why he notices this, why he even cares. When Zeus passes his seat, he smells like a thunderstorm, like electricty and power and rain.

It has begun.

6.

He watches him from afar. Watches and tells himself he isn’t, that he doesn’t care. Because of course he doesn’t. He is beautiful and smart, and dates pretty girls with tight lips and rigid backs, not beautiful men who smell like power.

(He can’t help it that Zeus seems to be everywhere now, and that his eyes are drawn to his blond hair and the freckles on his nose and the muscles that ripple under his wifebeaters and leather jackets and and and and and and-)

(Fuck.)

7.

He sneaks out onto his roof and stares at the stars. He used to count them when he was younger, 1,000- 3,000- 5,000 stars. He counts again now and falls asleep before reaching 600. He wakes up wet and cold. It rained.

8.

He watches him from afar until suddenly Zeus is watching back. He has a calculating look and a knowing smirk and oh- is this what dying feels like? Falling and falling and hurting and hurting forever and ever until you’re consumed by power and rain and lightning.

9.

He touches him. It’s not much, just a brush of his hand on Zeus’ shoulder but it is overwhelming. His breath hitches and Zeus is staring at him and he needs to get out. He leaves the small library and heads for his even smaller coffee shop. It is quiet and calm and he loves the calm but right now he is anything but.

10.

Maybe if he just ignores his feelings they will go away-

11.

This is not the end. 

[mytohs]

favorite quotes + the princess bride

pic credit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.

[mytohs]

I never asked because I was afraid of the answer.

v.m (via writingboutyou)

[mytohs]

@litladiesnetwork’s second event ➝ favorite minor female characters       ↳ cassandra, trojan women & agamemnon

these are the men you fear? pity them! and pity most of all the bridegroom general. agamemnon. for when he carries me with him, he carries his death.

[mytohs]

This is us. Our pose. The smush. Unlike most everyone else on earth, from the very first cells of us, we were together, we came here together. This is why no one hardly notices that Jude does most of the talking for both of us, why we can only play piano with all four of our hands on the keyboard and not at all alone, why we can never do Rochambeau because not once in thirteen years have we chosen differently. It’s always: two rocks, two papers, two scissors. When I don’t draw us like this, I draw us as half-people.piano with all four of our hands on the keyboard and not at all alone, why we can never do Rochambeau because not once in thirteen years have we chosen differently. It’s always: two rocks, two papers, two scissors. When I don’t draw us like this, I draw us as half-people.

[mytohs]

Clarity

The world rippled and churned and then glared red. Clarity. She veered left to avoid the brake lights, and a torrent of water once more obscured the world. Wipers arced, and the world came back into view. Lightning illuminated a car on its side in the ditch.

Doesn’t it make you feel more alive?

She decided to wait out the storm beneath an overpass and scanned the radio for tornado warnings. Getting mostly static, she gave up. Stillness. Silence. But all around her, a thunder-laced downpour. The windows began to fog.

It’s our song—the rain is playing our song.

Suddenly, she felt trapped. The car was too small; the storm too severe; the memories too close. Flashing lightning outlined the shapes of two young lovers in her mind. The thunder was an echo of racing hearts. In a storm just like this, in the back of a minivan, they had been drenched by a love they thought was real, a love that suddenly seemed real again.

Hold me tight. Don’t ever let me go.

The vehicles whizzing past shook her small car. Sunlight glared through tears in her eyes. She blinked. Clarity. There was somewhere she needed to be.

[mytohs]

what love looks like.

[mytohs]

Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.

Graham Greene, Ways Of Escape (via books-n-quotes)

[mytohs]

Harry Potter Modern Aesthetics

Tom Marvolo Riddle

[mytohs]

the nine worlds of yggdrasil

[mytohs]

moodboard: aberforth dumbledore

requested by @hexiest

[mytohs]

Biblical Series | Adam & Eve

Come, take a bite. Let me lead you into bliss.

[mytohs]

Ask me to stay, I will. I would, if only you  would ask me.

untitled || O.L. (via poetbitesback)