mytrashcanlife

[mytrashcanlife]

Okay hear me out!

Do we really like Bucky as a congressman? OR do we just love him in a suit?! I’m just saying if it’s the later there are a lot of ways we can use the suit stills from Thunderbolts* and CA:BNW for inspiration that don’t require me to use a working knowledge of American politics.

So for your consideration: Bucky in a suit for literally any other reason

[mytrashcanlife]

Happy Birthday Sergeant Barnes (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

I did not in fact write anything in the thunderbolts* era yet. I am staying in the old avengers tower era for this one. I thought it was cute and it came together in couple hours so here is cute one shot.

Summary: When Bucky gives you permission to celebrate his birthday 1 time, you find a way to make up for 70 years of missed birthdays.

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff. This is so sweet you might get a cavity reading it.

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The day had started like any other. It was a lazy Saturday morning, in the tower. Bucky had been awake for hours, but he refused to disturb you when you looked so peaceful. You were cuddled up to him, head on his chest, one arm draped over his stomach. He could tell you were waking up by the way your breathing changed. While he didn’t think he’d ever feel like he deserved it, he relished the way you looked at him in these moments with pure adoration. Slowly blinking awake with your eyes locked on his face as if you had to be sure you weren’t still dreaming. 

“Good morning darlin’”

“Good morning my love.” Bucky smiled at the nickname. You’d taken to calling him that by accident. After watching one too many episodes of your period dramas, you had called him that in the kitchen one day, earning a request from Tony to “never say that again, or I swear I’ll puke.” Ever one to take any chance to annoy Tony, it had quickly become your default name for him. 

“We have to get up soon” 

You groan dramatically and cuddle further into him. Your arm once lazy draped across him now wrapped around his middle to hug him closer to you earning a chuckle form him tha vibrates through your whole body. “Noooooo.” 

“Yeeeeeeees”

“I don’t wanna. You can’t make me.”

“I don’t want to either. If I could keep you in this bed forever I would, but wanda’s birthday is later today and we have to get dressed.”

You look up at him, and prop your head on your hands. Still refusing to fully detangle from him. “Hey James?”

“Yes doll?”

“When’s your birthday?” 

Bucky froze. You two had been together for almost a year. He had asked you out shortly after his last birthday. But given that the team celebrates everyone but his he knew you’d ask eventually. “It’s march 10th”

You sat up quickly. Eyebrows furrowed, in that worried, planning look he knew all to well.

“James! That’s in like a month!” You look away from him as you start to get out of bed. Bucky sits up against the headboard. “Why didn’t you tell me? I have so much planning to do. I have to talk to To-” 

“Absolutley not.” Bucky says casually as he grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him. 

“What do you mean?!”

“I am over 100 years old and I missed most of my birthdays as the winter soldier. There’s no point in starting up the celebrations at this point.”

Your eyes go wide as you swing your leg over him and sit up to straddle him. You grab his face gently and look directly into those sea blue eyes you so easily drown in. 

“There is every point! Bucky you not only lived another year, you accomplished so much. You have survived, and healed, and grown so much each year.” He gives you the same look he does when you call him kind, or intelligent, or amazing. One that says he has to accept the compliment but doesn’t believe a word you’ve said. “Let me give you one birthday party. Just one. Pleeeaaase” 

Bucky takes a deep breath and leans his head back to look at the cieling. “Fine. One party” He snaps his head back up to face you. “You are not inviting the whole of New York to this like Tony likes to do.”

“I’ll keep it in the tower. Just the team. Promise.”

“Okay.”

“Yay!” You grab his face again and pull him in for a quick kiss. 

“Now get up. We have to be at Wanda’s party in an hour.”

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You had kept the entire plan under wraps for the full month leading up to Bucky’s birthday. You had enlisted the help of the rest of the team of course. Steve would take Bucky to coffee, rare tradition the two of them kept for both their birthdays, while the rest of the team set up the tower. Tony had been surprised when you told him about your idea and that you’d managed to get Barnes to agree to any form of celebration. He was, however, more than willing to fund your endeavor, handing you and Pepper his black card. 

Bucky was slightly dreading the day. He hated being the Center of attention, but he also knew you’s keep your word. He wasn’t going to have to fake a smile and give an interview to every reporter Tony could invite to try to fix him image. He has been trying to think of all the things you might do for the party. Hats, balloons, maybe a cake. He wasn’t expecting this. He and Steve go to their yearly debrief coffee that morning. It’s noon by the time they get back. As they step into the elevator he goes to push the button for the top floor, assuming the party would be in the main living room, but Steve stops him. 

“Not today Buck. We are starting on the 10th floor today.” 

“She got you in on it too huh?”

“I think you’ll like this one.” 

Boy did he. The 10-20th floors had been reserved as essentially ballrooms which could be split if needed into smaller meeting rooms. As the elevator doors open to the 10th floor he is  greeted by a room set up more like a small house. Part of the room a cluster of old couches and chairs. A few feet away was a table with some snacks on it. And there in the middle of the room was you, dressed in long button down dress that cut off at mid calf. The short sleeves on it were framed by your hair which was down in pin curls. The sight reminded him of home. And seeing you in the 1940’s get up made him think this wasn’t gonna be so bad after all. 

The team was there in similar outfits. Tony really was the spitting image of his father. Even steve came back after disappearing for a few minutes in something similar to what he’d worn in his youth. After around an hour of celebration involving some music from the time, the rest of the team cleared out. Slowly but surely leaving the two of you alone as one final slow song came on. The two of you were on the dance floor slowly swaying back and forth, your arms around his neck looking up at him. 

“Happy Birthday Sergeant Barnes.” He wraps his arms around your waist and looks down at you. Long lashes, a mild blush on your cheeks, and that same look of adoration in your eyes. He leans down for a soft kiss. “Do you like it?”

“Oh yeah. This was a good day!” You chuckle a bit at the enthusiasm in his voice. 

“Oh James, it’s not over yet. It’s only been an hour.” 

“Where’s the rest of the team then?” You leaned back, letting go of him and extending your hand for him to take. He recognizes that mischievous glint in your eye. 

“Follow me.” 

He follow you back to the elevator and watches as you hit the button to go up a singular floor. He’s surprised when the doors open and the room is a similar layout to the last one. It is set up like a little house with a living room and kitchen area, but everything is just slightly older. The Couches are in brighter colored fabric, and there’s a big box TV in the center of them playing some kind of old sitcom in black and white. The team is there, but they’ve all changed. Wanda and nat have slightly fuller skirts, and their lipstick has gone from a peachy tone in the last room to a bright red. The boys were in various forms of suits. Bucky realizes quickly what he’s looking at is a recreation of the 50’s or at least as good as you could get it. He turns back to you

“I said one party.”

“You did. And this is all one party. You didn’t say how long I could make it.”

“What exactly is the plan here, doll?”

You grab his hand and walk him over toward the couches as you talk. “You said you missed a lot of birthdays while you were…him. 70 years of them to be exact. Which means I have a lot of missed time to make up for.” The two of you sit on a couch and face the rest of the team.

“Are you really about to try to celebrate 70 years of birthdays in a day?”

“Try is the wrong word there James. We will be speed running through 70 years of your birthdays” 

She wasn’t wrong. Every hour or so the team would clear out slowly but surely leaving the two of them alone for one last dance, though the music changed with each decade, before you led him to the elevator and raised a floor or two to the next room set up for the next decade. The team would always be dressed in the next decade of fashion with everything from poodle skirts and leather jackets, to bright neons and spandex. Even the style of the tiny home set up in the rooms changed as the decades progressed. Bucky was very impressed. 

As he stepped into the elevator for what would be the last room, he’s surprised when instead of another floor up, you hit the button for the top floor.

"Doll?"

"Yes?"

"This has all been fantastic but I do have one question. Why didn't you change with the times?"

"Because you didn't"

Stepping off the elevator into the living room he finds the floor decorated how he was expecting it to be this morning. Balloons in the corners and on the floor. Confetti sprinkled everywhere. Multicolored hats on everyone's head. He even lets you put one on him. You disappear shortly after you drop him on this floor, and he thinks you’re finally going to change. He can’t imagine the 40’s heels you’ve been in the last few hours are all that comfortable, but a few minutes later you emerge in the same outfit carrying a cake with a few lit candles on it. The team sings happy birthday as you place the cake in front of him. 

“Happy Birthday my love. Make a wish”

Bucky looks up at you with pure love and adoration in his eyes. All he think before he blows out the candles is that doesn’t know what he did to deserve you, but he is sure that a life with you is all he could ever wish for.

[mytrashcanlife]

GUYS I FIGURED IT OUT

Clint in the vents and that’s his whole personality because he wasn’t fleshed out in the movies → Ava in the walls and that’s her whole personality because she wasn’t fleshed out in the movies

Thor eating poptarts and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief → Alexei eating Wheaties and overusing proper words because English isn’t his first language and he’s the comedic relief

Natasha pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because fanon decided she’s just silly like that → Yelena pranking and laughing at everyone from the sidelines because canon decided she’s just silly like that

Bruce being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a bad day → Bob being a sweet, soft-spoken, unassuming guy but also the most fucking unhinged monstrosity if you catch him on a sad day

Steve being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the LAST person on board with this → Bucky being handed the de facto title of goody two shoes leader despite being the last person on board with this

Tony being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapons manufacturer → John being a big-mouthed asshole that’s secretly haunted by his past mistakes which involved publicly supporting the US military via PR stunts as a weapon himself

[mytrashcanlife]

I'm Back!

Okay so I had actually started writing a multi part Bucky Barnes fic a while ago. However 1. it isn't done yet 2. it takes place pre-endgame and 3. It is REALLY FUCKING SAD! i am fully playing into angst with it. It is technically a bucky x reader but....I digress. The important one of those is the first one: It isn't done yet! and one thing about mr is I won't post any part of a story until all the parts are at least riugh draft written so I domn't loose interest and abandon work that people are attached to.

In the mean time I wanna write some more modern thunderbolts* era stuff and I am still on a Bucky kick so I had a few cute ideas i'll have out soon however I have to research for one of them so give me a minute okay! I promise you will be fed soon!

[mytrashcanlife]

my shayla

[mytrashcanlife]

Not Your Doll (Bucky x Reader)

Warnings: mentions of violence but I think that is par for the course when discussing anything Marvel related. Timeline is a liittle wibbly wobbly.

use of Y/N, cause I'm old okay?

Authors note: I have not written anything in a while! I sarted a few stories that i did not like and ended up scrapping entirely. I decided I would try something simple. So here is a fluffy, funny little one shot I thought of one day.

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Steve remembered the day he met (y/n) like it was yesterday. He had been in training for most of the day. After all, 70 years on ice would make anyone a bit rusty. That night he was staying at some S.H.I.E.l.D. compound. Director Fury had been slowly introducing him to the others; Natalia, Tony, etc. but that day Fury met him in the front lobby of the cleverly disguised hotel. 

“Steve! I hope you have been adjusting okay. I have someone I would like you to meet”

“Another one? Lead the way!”

Steve followed him into the elevator and watched as his fingerprint unlocked a second set of buttons. He pushed one labeled ST12 and the elevator shot down beneath the hotel, to the area he and a few other people of interest to the organization were staying for the time being. As they exited the elevator in the smaller lobby area there was a woman sitting on one of the little couches. She smiled at director Fury. “Nick! So good to see you again.”

“(y/n)! Always a pleasure. Now that I have you back from your mission, there’s someone I would like you to meet. This is Steve Rogers aka Captain America. Steve this is (y/n) (l/n) one of my best agents.”

“Oh stop Nick. Flattery will get you nowhere.” She turned to Steve and extended her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Captain.”

Steve remembers hearing the smile in her voice. The smallest hint of laughter at the end of her sentences. He remembers how her eyes seemed to light up at the notion that she was good at her job. He also remembers the words that made them harden, and her smile go flat as he shook her hand. “The pleasure is all mine doll.” 

Nick tensed up. “I wouldn’t call her that if I were you.”

“I’m sorry if I have offended you.”

“I’ll let it slide this once cause you’re new both to the agency and the century, but word of advice, I’m not your doll. The last guy that called me that, ended up flat on his ass and I don’t care what fancy serum they put in your system I’ll lay you out too.” 

“Understood Ma’am. Is ma’am okay?”

“That’s fine. Now that introductions are through I have a few friends coming over to play cards later if you wanna join us.”

“I’ll be there” 

Steve learned three things that day about (y/n) (l/n). She was fantastic as poker. She didn’t tell anyone what she did for the agency or how Fury found her. And she did not appreciate being called doll. 

Yes Steve remembered meeting her like it was yesterday, but he was just so excited to have gotten his friend Bucky back that he didn’t think to warn him. After all it had been so long since Steve had called anyone doll. It was basically extinct from his vocabulary at this point. Besides, Bucky had already had a long day and he was injured enough. Steve wasn’t going to warn him about every person he might meet that day.

After the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D very few agents were left. Only those who were closest to Fury were kept in the loop to avoid any other information possibly getting to Hydra. And since the hotel compound had been destroyed in the fight Stark had offered some spare rooms to those remaining including Bucky while we figured out where to take him. 

James Buchanan Barnes was tired. It had been a long day. Hell a long year at this point. He had met the rest of the team on the flight back to New York. He had already heard that Wakanda would likely shelter him for the foreseeable future but for at least the next couple of days New York would have to do once more. As he walked off the elevator he saw a woman in a red nightgown standing in the kitchen behind a counter. She turned to face the group and her eyes went a bit wider, but her smile never faltered. Her voice sounded like a river, with a melodic drawl to it that could wear down stone without the stone ever realizing it. As the rest of the teams begins to spread out across the room, the woman leans on the counter over a cup of coffee and turns her attention to the new arrival.

“You must be Bucky. Steve has talked a lot about you."

"I am."

"You look like you had a long day”

“Yes Ma’am I have. And you are?”

“(y/n). It’s nice to meet you. Everyone sit down I made dinner. You all must be starving.” 

Everyone seemed to relax a bit. Sitting in various places around the big living room enjoying a nice soup. Bucky was still a bit tense considering his situation, but he appreciated what little hospitality he could get. As he shakes himself loose from a train of thought he looks up to see (y/n) holding out a glass of amber liquid. 

“You look like you could use something a bit stronger than water.”

Steve was relieved that introductions had gone relatively well so far. Seeing (y/n) hand Bucky the glass of whiskey was a good sign. He looked down at his own drink abit lost in thought. 

“Thank you Doll.”

Steve’s head shot up. Others in the room seemed to hold their breath. Anyone who could do so was looking for (y/n)’s reaction. Steve tried to help. “She doesn’t–” He stopped as she turned to him with a look he only usually saw when he had done or said something remarkably stupid. The look that said he should shut up before he digs his own grave a seventh foot. She turned back to Bucky as he took the glass from her and smiled. 

“You’re welcome darling.”

She stretched her arms up with a yawn and walked towards the hall door. “Alright everyone I’m off to get some sleep. All of you should do the same sooner or later.” 

Steve was confused. He got up from his spot in a chair and followed (y/n) down the hall. Just as she was about to close her door he catches up to her. “(y/n) wait.” She opens the door and leans a bit on the door frame. She’s obviously tired. “Thank you for not snapping at Bucky. I forgot to warn him. It’s just been a long day. I’ll talk to him in morning about it I promise-” 

“No need. He’s okay.”

“But I thought you told me not to call you doll.”

“Correct. Because i’m not your doll.” 

With that she bid him goodnight and shut her door. Steve looked at the door then the ground, confused as he walked the short distance back down the hall. When he looks up he realizes that he didn’t close the hall door behind him. “Did y’all hear-”

“Oh yeah cap we heard the whole thing.” Tony interrupts. An amused look on his face and that of most others in the room. “Don’t be sad, you can’t win all the ladies.” 

Steve looks over that Bucky to see him looking past Steve, down the hall at the door (y/n) had just gone through. Bucky says nothing but he knows that look. “Don’t even think about it Buck.”

Bucky just smirks a bit and sips his drink. “I didn’t say anything Steve.”

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper x Reader Part 7 Final Part

Eventually the Volturi caught wind that their plan had worked, and you were one of them. They came to visit early and while you did express that you upset about not being given a choice or even a proper bite turning. In your own words “the lamest way to turn me ever” you did eventually forgive them. They were family after all. You didn’t get any special powers but that was perfectly fine with you. The Volturi offered you a place with them in Italy anyway, but you turned it down. You realized that now that you were like them you could visit them in Italy too. Even when they knew you were a vampire You still took Jade to your room and talked to her about life, well death I guess?

“There’s just one thing that still bugs me a bit.”

“What is that dear?”

“Ever since I turned I’ve gotten a lot closer with Jasper, and now I hate to not be around him for too long. We don’t officially share a room, but I spend more nights in his bed than mine. Completely innocent of course. The most we’ve done is kiss, but I just don’t understand why this feeling showed up so suddenly.”

“Well mates do have a way with feelings like that.”

“Mates?”

“Surely they explained that concept to you by now.”

“Of course, they did. Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmet, but I didn’t think I had one. Jasper never mentioned it.”

“He probably wanted you to come to your own conclusions, but that’s why you were so hard to be around as a human. Ask him about it when you get the chance.”

“Thanks Jane.”

“I just want you to be happy.”

You were Happy of course. You asked Jasper about the mate thing and your suspicions were confirmed. He had always known you were mates, but he didn’t want you to ,like him because you thought you were supposed to. He wanted you to fall in love for naturally. You did.

After a year or so you look in the mirror and realize your eyes, once red then transitioning, were now a bright gold. You go show the Family filled with excitement for your progress. You give Rosalie a big hug and when you turn around you see Jasper on one knee. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a ring box. It’s beautiful.

“(y/n), you know about mates, but I want to be more than that. Would you make me the happiest vampire on earth and marry me?”

Your hands fly to cover your mouth in shock, but of course you say yes.

After a year of planning and breaking up fights between Alice and Rosalie over decorations, and venues. The day was finally here. With your whole family invited including the Volturi who cancelled many plans to make sure they were all there. You sit in the back room of an old church in Texas. Going back to Jasper’s home state for the ceremony. You look in the mirror all dolled up. You like your white gown, and your tiara veil. Alice comes to get you.

“It’s time”

You watch as the others walk down the aisle first though with such a small family it wasn’t very many. Then Carlisle takes your hand and walks you down the aisle. You realize at this moment that you had never seen Jasper in a suit. You could get used to the sight of it though. After hearing Edward who insisted on being the priest drone on for what felt like hours, and after reciting the typical vows, you get to the part that you just now realized you were waiting for your whole life.

“Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do”

“and do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do”

“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride”

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper x Reader Part 6

When Jasper said this was going to be hard he wasn’t exaggerating. You had to send a letter of resignation to your college to say that you were no longer going to attend in the fall. You would need a long time before you could go back to school again or be around people. You were constantly either in the woods, or in the house. The wolves heard about your turning and You had to explain what had happened wasn’t their fault. It was a trick from the Volturi. The basics were easy: move at a reasonable pace, mimic breathing, don’t stand to rigid. You learned about the special powers that the others possessed. Alice is still trying to figure out how she never saw you turning. Edward’s weird actions growing up suddenly made sense. He always seemed to know what you were thinking because he always did. And Jasper could always tell how you felt. The others told you that he had the ability to manipulate your emotions as well, but he said he’d never done that to you, and you believed him.

They also told you about Mates. Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, but they never told you about Jasper. They figured the two of you should figure out that situation on your own and he decided he wasn’t going to tell you. Over the next few months the two of you had grown closer than you had ever been before. Emmett even seemed jealous at one point, that he wasn’t your favorite. You assured him he was still your favorite brother and made more time to hang out with him, but you were attached to Jasper more than anyone, because he understood you. He knew what you were going through, and he knew how much it hurt.

Emmett taught you hunting, but Jasper taught you tracking. Rosalie and Esme were always there to talk to you about anything, but there were things you couldn’t tell them. Alice reassured you that everything would be fine, but Jasper was the one you needed to hear that from. The family was all trying their best to help you and be kind and understanding as you got used to the new world you lived in now, but if you ever went missing they knew exactly who would find you.

Everything wasn’t perfect, but you were trying, and you were doing well. That is until October 4th, you had been out hunting with Emmett and you’d torn through every animal you could get your hands on, but you were still craving human blood. Suddenly a hiker screams and you and Emmet both smell blood. You take off running with Emmet close behind you but you were still a newborn, so you were faster. You’re feet away from the hiker when Emmet catches up to you. He pins you to the ground and calls for backup. He ended up not needing it because the hiker soon left and once the smell was gone you and Emmet walked home.

The second you were through the front door Jasper could feel the shame and sadness coming off of you. You ran to his room and he hugged you, his nose in your hair, breathing in your scent.

“What happened Darlin’”

“I almost hurt someone”

“Almost?”

“Yeah, almost.”

“But you didn’t, that’s progress. Baby you are doing so well, and I am so proud of you.”

“It doesn’t matter that I didn’t hurt him. I wanted to. I almost did. Jasper I’m a monster.”

“you are not a monster.”

You pull back from the hug and look at him. If you could cry you would have been a mess of tears. Jasper can feel the hurt and self-hatred. He looks at you with sadness, almost pity, in his eyes.

“You can control what I’m feeling right? You’ve never done it before, but you could if you wanted to?”

“Yes, but I’ve never-“

“Make it stop.”

“What?”

“Make it stop. Please Jasper I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of constantly feeling like this, please? I just wanna feel okay again.”

“Okay. Shhhh, Calm down” Jasper held you close again and focused on making you as calm as he could. Refusing to force any emotion other than neutrality onto you. But after a minute or so you looked back up at him. He stopped controlling your emotional state, but the calm remained. You thought about it for a moment, before you finally decided to do something you’d never done before. You whispered, “Thank you” and then you kissed him. His hands found their way to your cheeks as he held you face. Your arm wrapped around his neck. It was a soft kiss, gentle. A way of expressing warmth in a body cursed to be so cold. When you two finally pulled apart, he looked deep into your eyes.

“I didn’t-”

“I know.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No. I just wanna do it again.”

And you did. You spent the night in his room, silent, cuddling interrupted by the occasional soft kiss. You were both so quiet that at one point the rest of family thought you had left. Edward heard your thoughts and assure the others you were still in the house and exactly where they thought you were. Edward decided to keep an eye on your thoughts for a minute to see if anything was wrong, but the next few thoughts made him smile.

‘I’m okay.’

‘everything is going to be alright.’

‘I have my family, I have my instincts, I have Jasper. Yeah I have him.’

‘is this what love feels like to vampires?’

Nothing else happened that night, but for the first time in a long time, you felt safe, and cared for, and loved.

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper X Reader Part 5

It took four days. Four day for the venom to take over. Four days of absolute anguish for the Cullen family. But when you did wake up, it was so much worse than they imagined. You didn’t panic at first. They weren’t expecting denial, or a sense of calm. You jolted awake and immediately sat up. You look around and notice that you are no longer in the kitchen where you remembered fainting. Rosalie is the first speak to you in your confusion.

“(y/n) you’re awake. Thank god, I’m so sorry this happened.”

“What? Rosalie it’s not your fault I fainted. I was probably just dehydrated. I forget to drink water sometimes. I’m sorry I scared you, but really I’m fine. How long was I out? A few minutes?”

“Four days.”

“What? No. If I was in a coma Carlisle would have taken me to the hospital.”

“Oh no.”

“Rosalie what’s wrong?”

“Carlisle!”

“Why are you calling him?” Carlisle and the rest of the family come upstairs to see you.

“She’s awake! Oh, thank god.”

“She doesn’t know.”

“What? What don’t I know?” Carlisle looks at you with guilt in his eyes.

“ (y/n) something happened.”

“Yeah I know I didn’t drink enough water I over-heated and I fainted. It happens all the time. You know this. Carlisle I’m fine just thirsty. See?”

You grab the water bottle you keep on your bedside table and try to drink it, but you move a little too fast and know over the lamp. “Sorry. I’m a little clumsy when I’ve been unconscious for a few minutes.” You take a sip of the water, but the second you try to swallow it you throw it right back up. Violently coughing on the liquid as it makes its way back up your throat. “Okay maybe I am a little sick. That’s weird.” Rosalie leans over to your desk and grabs a mirror.

“(y/n) I’m going to show you something, but I need you stay calm okay?”

“Rosie what is going on?”

She held up the mirror and you saw yourself, but it wasn’t you. Your skin was much paler than usual, and all signs of your usual acne were gone. You looked like you had died, but then you saw your eyes. Red eyes staring back at you instead of (e/c) ones, and you lost it. Your scream frightens even Emmet.

“CARLISLE!”

“Why does everyone always yell at me?”

“Carlisle my eyes are red! I look like a damn ghost, something is wrong! You’re a doctor fix me!”

“(y/n) I can’t fix this”

“WHY NOT?”

Jasper was behind the others in the doorway. He could feel the fear coming off of her in waves.

The others were obviously not prepared for this conversation. He thought about joining in, but Edward gave him a look and he decided to let the others try first. Edward decides to try calming her down.

“Okay (y/n) I need you to calm down. You want Carlisle to fix the problem right? To do that he has to diagnose it, so what are your symptoms?”

“I…I fainted in the kitchen and then apparently I slept for four days. I feel dehydrated and hungry, but I can’t even swallow water. And my eyes are red. And everything is so loud, and bright. This feels like a bad hangover, but worse.”

“Okay. Now tell me where have you heard those symptoms before? Red eyes, thirst, aversion to light…”

“Edward you aren’t making any sense. That sounds like a…” You look up at Carlisle wide eyed and trembling. You shake your head furiously “No…Don’t say it”

“Yes.”

“I’m a vampire? No! no that’s not possible. Vampires aren’t real. They’re horror stories you tell children, so they won’t sneak out after dark, they don’t exist.”

“They do. We are a family of them.”

“But nobody bit me.”

“You are correct nobody bit you, because we never had any intention of turning you, but you don’t actually need to be bitten you just have to get venom in your bloodstream, and it will take over from there.”

“So, if none of you bit me then how did I end up with venom in my blood?”

“You remember that necklace Jane gave you?”

“Yeah, I broke it. It was so fragile I didn’t realize, I cut my hand on it trying to pick it back up and that’s when…I fainted. NO. You can’t be telling me I turned because I cut my hand on glass that had Venom on it. You can’t!”

“I do believe that’s what happened yes.” You sat there in bed for a few moments in silence.

“I don’t believe you. I’m going for a walk.” You stand up to cross the room but you’re down the stairs before you can blink, with the rest of the family right behind you. “What was that?”

“That was a small demonstration of the speed you now possess.”

Jasper could feel the fear rise up again as the realization of what had happened finally hit you.

“So, you’re all vampires? That’s what you’ve been hiding from me? That’s what all this was about you didn’t want me to know?” Edward answers you

“Yes (y/n), you have to understand, we never wanted you to turn, and we aren’t allowed to tell humans about us unless we intend to turn them.”

“So, what you just thought I was never going to figure it out? You thought I’d grow old get a husband and some kids and never noticed my family wasn’t ageing?”

“Not exactly.”

“Then what was the plan? If you weren’t going to turn me exactly how did you think I was never going to catch on?”

“You were going to college”

“So what? You think I wouldn’t visit?” You look around at Your family as they look down with guilty expressions on their faces. Your eyes widen once more in realization “I was never going to get to visit was I? You were planning to never see me again after I left. You were planning to abandon me?” Jasper was concerned now. In the past few months he’d seen you feel a lot of emotions, fear, joy, sadness, but not this. This was pure Rage.

Carlisle tries to defend himself.

“It’s not like that”

“Yes it is Carlisle. You were going to abandon me like everyone else does. Fine then, I’ll just go.”

Alice finally returning from her trip had picked a very bad moment to walk through the door.

“Guys I’m ba-oh my god, (y/n) what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it. I was just leaving.”

You ran. You ran into the woods, and climbed cliff sides as fast as you could. You knew they’d send somebody after you but at that moment you didn’t care. If they were just going to leave you then you might as well save them the trouble. Alice turned to Jasper in shock.

“I didn’t do it.”

Rosalie jumped to his defense for once.

“He didn’t. The Volturi did. Sneaky little bastards.”

“What happened? I was gone for a week and I come back to this? This was not the vision!”

“Yes, it was Alice. You just didn’t realize it.”

“Well someone has to go get her before she hurts someone!”

Carlisle spoke up “I’ll go get her. This is my fault anyway.”

Jasper had enough, “No I think you’ve done enough.”

While they were arguing they failed to realize that Emmet was already gone. He was barely behind you for miles.

“(y/n) please just stop for a minute and talk to me. It’s me. Emmet, Your big brother.” You stopped and turned around

“You lied to me. You were going to leave me.”

“No (y/n) we hadn’t thought this through. You remember how you came to us in the first place right? We got into this situation and put our own lives on the line to help you because we couldn’t just leave you. I know you’re starving, and you’re scared but please just come home.”

You were about to listen to him when a man walked by. It happened so fast you barely had time to register what you were doing before you draining the poor man. The hunger was too much, but once it subsided you were left cowering on the ground with the corpse of an innocent and your hands covered in blood. Emmet tried to pull you off of him, but you sent him flying backwards into a nearby tree. Carlisle Caught up to you and looked down at you in disappointment, and pity.

“(y/n) it’s okay.”

“NO THIS IS NOT OKAY!”

“Do you understand now? Do you understand what you are?”

“I’M A MONSTER”

“No. You are not a monster. You are new to this. It’s going to be okay. Please just come home we can help you.”

Emmet joins Carlisle and reaches his hand out to you. You reach to take it but hesitate and pull back. You look down and shake your head.

“I can’t-“

“You can. I did. We all did. Even jasper did. You wanna know why he acted like he did? It’s because he is new to our lifestyle. We don’t feed on humans we survive on animal blood alone. Jasper is new to that. You were a constant test for him. That is why he was so cold around you. He did it. So, can you.”

You look up at the mention of his name. You pause a moment to think.

“Okay.” You grab Emmet’s hand and the three of you rush back to the house.

The second you enter the house the whole family is staring at you. Rosalie and Alice help you clean up and get some new clothes on. Burning the bloodied ones in the process. You wait until midnight to go to Jasper’s room. You knock on the door

“Come in” shut the door behind you and lean against it.

“I need to talk to you. Somewhere the others can’t hear.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

The two of you leave through the window in his bedroom and run off into the forest. You follow him until he climbs up to the top of a tree in the center of the forest. He sits at the top leaning on one branch and you sit on another branch across from him.

“What do you need to talk about?”

“Carlisle said something when I ran off…He said that you were also new to their lifestyle and that the only reason you were cold to me was because you had to try really hard to not kill me.”

“That was part of it”

“If you were afraid to hurt me, why did you pick me up from that gas station?”

“Because you were scared, and I knew I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“How did you know that though?”

“Because I never wanted you to be one of us. You were bright, and happy. You embodied the opposite to everything we are.”

“But you didn’t have to turn me. You could have just killed me.”

“I wouldn’t do that. I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”

“But Carlisle said-“

“Carlisle is wrong. Why did you ask me all the way out here for this?”

“I didn’t. There’s something else I need to ask you.”

“Ask.”

“You never lied to me right?”

“Of course not.”

“Good. Don’t start now. How hard is it?” Jasper looks at you with a sadness in his eyes, while he thinks for a second about how to answer that. Finally, he leans forward and looks you In the eyes.

“It hurts like hell. It’s agonizing. You want human blood so much you’ll go through a hundred lions and it won’t be enough to satiate you. You’ll want to give up and run away, but don’t. Because once the withdrawals subside it gets easier. It gets better.”

“one more question.”

“shoot”

“Will I be okay?”

“Yes.” You lean over to his side of the treetop and he envelops you in his arms. You both stay there for a bit. Sometimes people just need a hug, at midnight.

“Okay. Let’s go home. And don’t tell anyone about this.”

“My lips are sealed.” You looked jasper in the eyes, those golden eyes, and smile. The two of you sneak back in through the same window and Jasper distracts the others while you sneak up to your room. You lay down, knowing you won’t be sleeping again, but as you look up at your ceiling you feel like everything is going to be alright.

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper X Reader Part 4

After that conversation you avoided everyone for a while. This wasn’t like you but the Cullens knew you just needed some space. Maybe some normal friends. Which you got in a sense. You met these two girls in your history class Priscilla and Penelope (bonus points if you know the inspiration for these two). They were not in your normal social group, but you decided that if Carlisle was going to treat you like a rebellious child you were going to ask like one. A few days later you got your chance.

You were deciding what to wear a for party the girls had invited you to that night. It was at some kid’s house. You didn’t really know him, but it didn’t really matter. You wanted to dance with your friends and look good. You decide on a red knee-length dress with silver accents. You do your hair and makeup the way Alice and Rosalie taught you to catch a man and decided on a pair of silver stud earrings and the necklace Jane had given her a few weeks ago. It was pretty. I silver chain with a clear round pendant holding some sort of liquid. You paired it with some red heels and headed downstairs to meet her friends, but Edward stopped you.

“Where are you going this late?”

“Edward it’s eight at night calm down. And my new friends invited me to a party tonight so I’m going.”

“Did you tell Carlisle?”

“One: no, I did not we are still not on speaking terms, and two even if we were I am an adult I don’t have to ask his permission to do anything. Now get out of my way, I’m supposed to meet the girls down the street for a ride.”

“Just be careful okay? Come back in one piece.”

“I’ll try my best”

You walk down the street and get in the car with Priscilla and Penelope.

“Hey girls. You both look amazing.”

“You too red is definitely your color”

“Yeah and I love that necklace. Where’d you get it?”

“It was gift from my aunt. The one who lives in Italy.”

“That is so cool.”

After a few minutes of driving you notice the road beginning to look more familiar than the rest of the drive. You realize where the girls are heading and ask to make sure.

“Hey Penelope, where is this party again?”

“It’s in the woods on the reservation.” You start to panic internally. You could not go back there.

“Ummm. Hey, I don’t really feel comfortable in that part of forest. I have an ex there and his family kind of hates my family for some reason, it’s a long story.”

“Well we’re going.”

“I’d rather not. Could you just turn around and take me back home?”

“No way. I am not backtracking just cause you don’t want to face your ex.”

You see a gas station up ahead and recognize the area. You aren’t on their land yet.

“Fine just pull over at the gas station and let me out. I’m not going.”

“Fine. You are such a buzz kill. No way are we inviting you out again.”

They pull the car over and you get out. You go inside the gas station and take your phone out of your purse. You can’t call Edward he’ll just tell Carlisle, same issue with Esme and Rosalie. Emmet would just tell Rosalie and now you’re back to square one. Alice is out of town. That leaves you with one option: Jasper. You decide to take your chances and hit call.

“hello?”

“Jasper thank god”

“(y/n)?”

“Yes, look I messed up. It’s a long story and I know that we aren’t on the best of terms, but I need help and you can’t tell anybody. I’m at the gas station on third and McLane, just please come pick me up.”

You hear complete silence for a few moments.

“Hello?”

“I’m on my way.”

Within a few minutes Jasper was there. You jumped in the car, tears already streaming down your cheeks. He feels the sadness coming from you in waves. You tell him to drive and he does.

“I’m sorry. I messed up and I didn’t know who else to call. After this whole fiasco with Carlisle, I couldn’t call him, and the others would just tell him, and I can’t face him right now.”

“What happened?”

“You remember my new ‘friends’?”

“yeah”

“well they invited me to a party tonight.”

“explains the dress”

“right. Well I didn’t ask where the party was. They said some kid was throwing it and I assumed it would be at his house, but it turns out it’s in the woods on the reservation.”

“You Were going to the Reservation!”

“NO! as soon as figured out where it was I told the girls I didn’t wanna go, but they wouldn’t turn around, so I told them to drop me off at the gas station and then I called you. I’m surprised you even picked up the phone.”

“Of course, I did. What did you think I was going to do ignore you? Leave you stranded out here?”

“I thought you’d tell Carlisle, so you didn’t have to deal with me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because you hate me.” You lurch forward as Jasper slams the breaks.

“you think I hate you?”

“yes. Though I don’t know why.”

“(y/n) I don’t hate you.”

“Then why do you ignore me constantly? Or give me the look of death? What did I do?”

“Nothing (y/n) you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re smart, and kind, and happy and I’m not. I just didn’t wanna kill your mood.”

“well that was counterproductive. Maybe smile at me? Hug me like everyone else does? Hell, even just acknowledge my presence instead of hiding?”

“I picked you up didn’t I? and I didn’t tell Carlisle.”

“Okay that’s a start. Just promise me you won’t tell him what happened?”

“I promise.”

“Thank you, now can we please continue forward before another car runs into us?”

“Of course,”

Jasper drove the rest of the way in silence. Dropping you off a little ways up the street so you could pretend he never picked you up. Before you get out of the car he turns to you.

“You look really pretty tonight. I’m sorry you ended up with such terrible friends.”

“Thanks. And Thank you for coming to get me.”

“Anytime.”

He drives away, parks the car in the garage and walks into the house to find the rest of the family waiting for him at the door. Rosalie speaks up first.

“And where exactly did you disappear to?”

“Nowhere important. I just went for a drive.”

“He’s lying.”

“Shut up Edward.” Jasper and Edward exchange looks, and Edward decides it’s best to keep his mouth shut.

“Fine”

“No Edward not fine. Jasper where did you go?”

“Rosalie drop it.” Edward leans over to whisper to Rosalie

“Who does he smell like Rosie?” Rosalie furrows her eyebrows inhaling slightly before her eyes widen.

“Where’s (y/n)?”

As if on cue you walk through the front door. Rosalie and Carlisle give Jasper a look that says, ‘we’ll finish this later’ and they all go to the living room.

“(y/n) I thought you were going to a party?”

“Edward you had one job. Keep your mouth shut. It doesn’t matter anyway, I got to the party, there were drugs, and the other two were drunk so I took a cab home. This night has been nothing but a waste of an outfit. I’m starving. Mom do we have any leftovers in the fridge?”

“Yeah honey, I’ll make you something.”

“It’s okay. I got it. Thanks mom.” You give Esme a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing into the kitchen. As you pass Rosalie she breathes in slightly to confirm her suspicions. She looks at Jasper with rage. As soon as you’re out ear shot she’s at his throat.

“Outside now. All of us.”

Esme stays in the house long enough to make sure you’ve taken your food upstairs and gone to your room before joining the others about a mile away. Rosalie looks at Jasper likes she wanted to kill him and if Emmet hadn’t put his hand on her shoulder to calm her down She may have.

“What did you do?!”

“I didn’t do anything. I went for a drive.”

“Care to explain how (y/n) fits into that drive?”

“She didn’t she told you herself she went to a party.”

“Then why does she smell like you?”

Edward cuts in. “Jasper just tell them the truth.”

“I told her I wouldn’t say anything.”

“Fine then I will.”

“No, you will not.”

Carlisle joins into the conversation with his normal calm demeanor.

“Edward stop it. Jasper we can see that you obviously didn’t hurt her. We just wanna know what happened.”

“look she made me promise not to tell you what happened Carlisle because she doesn’t want your judgement. She’s mad enough at you so if I tell you then you have to promise me that she will never find out about this.”

“I just want what’s best for my daughter.”

“And I just convinced her that I don’t hate her, don’t make me lose progress here.”

“She never has to know Jasper that’s why we are all out here.”

“Okay. She found out the party was on wolf territory, she didn’t wanna go but her friends wouldn’t take her home. They dropped her off at a gas station and she didn’t wanna face any of you, so she called me. I drove her back and dropped her off a little ways away so she could pretend that she left the party for whatever reason and not have to face Carlisle’s judgement for her horrible choice in friendship. There. Ya happy now?” Carlisle seems satisfied with the answer, but Edward had another question.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why pick her up? Why not tell one of us to go get her?”

“Because she said not to tell any of you.”

“Why listen to that though? Why go through the trouble of lying to us when you know we can tell?”

“because I didn’t want to lose the trust I just gained from her. I just convinced her that I don’t despise her.”

“Why do you care what she thinks of you?”

“Because I love her!” There’s a beat of silence as Jasper looks at the shocked faces of his newfound family. “There. I said it. I love her. And I wish I didn’t because every time I smell her blood I wanna tear into her throat, but she is the happiest person I have ever met, and I want to protect her at all costs. So as much as I want her I know that she will be miserable as one of us. I am doing the best I can.”

“She’s your mate.”

Rosalie cuts in with a harshness in her voice.

“No, She Is NOT. We have worked her entire life to protect her from our kind. She is not turning. She is going to finish her senior year and go to college and be a normal kid for once.”

“And how exactly do you plan to keep explaining away ya’ll never aging as she grows old and dies? Or better yet do you plan to explain at all?”

“We will cross that bridge when we come to it”

“No, you’ll burn it.”

Carlisle cuts in to prevent Rosalie from killing anyone tonight.

“Jasper’s right. We haven’t thought this all the way through and besides she has to turn within the year anyway. Aro said she turns before she’s nineteen or he’ll do it himself.”

“You didn’t think this was important information for us to have weeks ago?”

“He made a comment about how he thought it would be Jasper who turned her. I thought he was referring to his lack of self-control, but now I’m thinking that may not be the case.”

“Carlisle you need to tell her what’s going on.”

“I know. We’ll tell her in the morning. Be prepared though cause I can’t see this going over well in any way.”

As the family enters the house to go about their normal business, they know something isn’t right when they smell blood. Esme heads towards the kitchen and screams. The rest of the family rushes to see what the matter is. They find (y/n) on the kitchen floor collapsed. Hand bleeding and the glass pendent she had shattered in her palm.

“CARLISLE!”

“I see her.”

“Do something! What’s wrong with her?”

“She cut her hand open the pendant was glass it’s probably what cut her hand, but this shouldn’t cause this type of reaction.”

“Wait, didn’t that necklace have water in it?” Carlisle’s eyes widen as he picks up the remains of the pendant. He looks closer at the small droplet of liquid left on the glass shards.

“It’s not water Edward. It’s venom. It’s in her veins already.” Carlisle looks to his family as the stare back at the poor girl on the floor in horror.

“She’s turning.”

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper X Reader Part 3

After a few weeks the two new siblings had settled into the house. Alice was quickly becoming one of your best friends. She took you shopping, constantly, and insisted that even though you no longer had a date you were still going to prom and you were going to be the most sparkly thing there. Jasper on the other hand was never around, at least as far as you could tell. Every time you walked into a room he walked out of it. He didn’t look at you often and you returned the gesture because on the rare occasion you did lock eyes with him he looked like he wanted you six feet under. Alice insists that isn’t true and everyone else says he doesn’t hate you, but he hasn’t shown it at all. Little do you know that when you dance in the living room after convincing Edward to play the entertainer for the one-thousandth time, that he is just on the other side of the pillar in the house. Out of sight but soaking up every ounce of pure joy you give off. Having only felt constant negativity for a long time, your consistent positive emotions were a welcome change, but when you looked at him they turned to discomfort and fear, so he stayed out of your way. There was only one time he really felt you full of fear and concern when he wasn’t around, and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Rosalie and Emmet had gone hunting and Rosalie had gotten much messier than usual due to Emmet’s hijinks. She thought she was sneaking into the house while you were away, but you saw her come in and go up the stairs. When she reaches the top of the stairs her eyes meet yours in horror.

“Oh my God Rosalie are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Emmet shot a deer and thought it would be funny to throw me at it. You know Emmet. Ha-ha.”

“Rose that doesn’t explain most of this blood are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Tis but a flesh wound. I’m going to shower. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry”

You let her go, but not the incident. You bring it up to Emmet and Carlisle and nobody’s stories or explanations were adding up. Carlisle was definitely hiding something from you, and you were at your ropes end. You decided to confront Carlisle about all these issues, and it doesn’t go well. Jasper hears you yelling and goes to investigate. Still out of sight.

“Carlisle I am not some stupid little girl anymore. What aren’t you telling me?”

“(y/n) please just leave it alone. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“When I’m older? Carlisle I’m an adult. I’ve graduated. Soon I’m going to have to go Out into the world by myself. How much older do I need to be?!”

“Much older!”

“Fine if you won’t tell me I’ll just ask aunt Jane.”

“NO. (y/n) please for your own good just drop it.”

“Carlisle Elizabeth Cullen”

“That’s not my middle name”

“It is now. You have dodged every question I have asked you for years. I didn’t press the issue because I assumed you would tell me when I was an adult, but now I’m eighteen, my boyfriend just dumped me because he found out you were my family, though you all despised him before that. And now I have two new family members that I know nothing about, who look nothing like any of you, one of which looks at me like he wants me dead for absolutely no reason, and I just found my sister trying to sneak upstairs, covered in blood that is most definitely not her own. I want answers Carlisle and I will get them if you won’t tell me I will find someone who will, AM I CLEAR?”

Jasper was still hidden out of sight. Carlisle knew he was there but (y/n) was oblivious. He expected emotions to be rolling off of her, Sadness and Fear among them, but despite the tone of voice she held she was completely calm, no rage just minor annoyance.

“(y/n) everything I have done I did for your safety. Now drop it.”

“Unbelievable.” After a brief pause you decide it’s no use fighting with him. “Emmet!”

Emmet appeared in the doorway. (y/n) knew he was there but she never took her eyes off of Carlisle’s. “What’s up (y/n)?”

“I’ll meet you, downstairs in five. We’re going climbing. You down?”

“Always.”

“Good.” You turned around and ran out of the kitchen and upstairs to your room to get ready.

The next few weeks were more difficult for Carlisle than he expected. Jasper as well. Your normal Happy demeanor had been replaced with complete indifference. You were on a strict schedule and you stuck to it. Never speaking to Carlisle, and never even glancing in Jasper’s direction. You were waiting. The other side of the family would be visiting soon, and you were going to get your answers one way or the other. Soon enough you were out in the field with your usual trinkets waiting for them.

“(y/n) child! It’s so good to see you again.”

“You too uncle Aro.” You smile weakly and give your usual hug. When you pull back Aro has noticed your change in demeanor. He knows but he asks anyway.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where do I even begin? Carlisle is keeping secrets from me and I’m worried. I’ve never given him reason not to trust me but so much has happened that doesn’t add up. He’s dodging my questions and insists for my own safety that I ‘drop it’ and just pretend nothing is wrong.”

“How about you go with Aunt Jane and I’ll talk to Carlisle?”

“If you can get him to stop being so weird by all means.”

You and Jane go back to the house up to your room and you tell Carlisle that Aro is waiting for him in the field and wants to talk.

“Aunt Jane I’m worried.”

“About what dear?”

“You have to promise not to freak out okay?”

“Of course.”

“well, I saw Rosalie a few weeks ago, sneaking upstairs covered in blood. She insists nothing is wrong, but it wasn’t her own. I mean I expect that kind of behavior from Emmet, but Rosalie isn’t one to get dirty you know?”

“That is strange. Anything else bothering you?”

“Yeah we have two new kids Carlisle just adopted and Alice is super sweet, she helps me cook, helps with my homework. She even helped me pick out a prom dress, But Jasper…He gives me the creeps. I swear he looks at me like he wants me dead.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! I haven’t said two words to the guy, but the others insist he doesn’t hate me.”

“Well I’m sure once Aro talks to Carlisle, you’ll get some answers.”

“Thanks Jane. Hey, can I braid your hair?”

“Of course.” While you are happily braiding intricate patterns into Jane’s hair, the situation is much more tense out on the field. Carlisle already knows what’s coming but he’s not happy about it.

“Aro.”

“Carlisle. My niece is unhappy. She seems to think you’re hiding something from her”

“She’s not your niece. I still don’t know how she came up with that idea. You know what I’m hiding, and you know I can’t tell her.”

“I told you that this charade couldn’t last for forever. You will tell her.”

“Aro it’s your rule that we don’t tell humans about us.”

“I know. You will tell her, and she will turn.”

“She will not.”

“She will. I don’t care who does it or when, but she will turn, and if what I’m hearing about your new members is true I’d be willing to bet who does it.”

“Jasper has his issues but he’s doing much better. He won’t hurt her.”

“I Know. I know that he doesn’t want to hurt her.”

“He isn’t going to.”

“He’s an empath Carlisle haven’t you noticed anything different about (y/n)? or him?”

“He’s not controlling her emotions.”

“I know he’s not if he was she wouldn’t be so scared of him. But she is a constant beacon of joy. She makes Jane of all people smile. After the hell that kid has been through I’m sure he’s enjoying every second of relief her emotions can give him. I’m sure when her dog left her she was pretty upset too.”

“The entire relationship lasted a few weeks.”

“Carlisle you don’t think we keep tabs on that girl? She’s the only person to ever make every member of this family smile on a regular basis, and if anyone or anything threatens her we will take every pleasure in destroying that threat.”

“You’re attached to her? You wanted me to leave her for dead!”

“That was a long time ago Carlisle things have changed. Let me make myself very clear. One of you is going to turn her by the time she’s nineteen or I will do it myself.”

“You speak of threats to her happiness and then threaten it yourself. She would never want to be one of us. She would be miserable.”

“I don’t think so. And you may want to keep your voice down Jane is returning with her now.”

Carlisle turns to see her and Jane walking towards the field. Jane as usual with complicated braids throughout her hair. (y/n)’s smile drops as she walks closer to Carlisle refusing to meet his gaze.

“(y/n)! I trust you had fun with Jane?”

“As always.”

“Did you get our gift?”

“Yes. Thank you so much. It’s beautiful. I have it in my jewelry box at home.”

“Good.” Aro turns back to Carlisle “I trust we’ve come to an understanding. I’ll see you next year.”

“Bye.”

The two of them left and Carlisle walked back to the house with (y/n).

“Are you going to talk to me (y/n)?”

“Are you going to stop being so unnecessarily vague and stop dodging my questions?”

“There are things I can’t tell you”

“then no”

After a few more minutes of silence she spoke once more in exasperation.

“Can you at least tell me why Jasper hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“Then why does he avoid me at all costs. Or stare at me like he wants me dead?”

“Ask him.”

“fine I will”

They walk the rest of the way back in silence. Once they were home she immediately ran up the stairs to her room and shut the door. Everything was too much of a headache right now. She just decided to go to sleep for now and deal with everything else in the morning. Meanwhile Carlisle decides it’s best to keep his conversation with Aro a secret from the rest of the family. He’d figure it out later.

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper X Reader Part 2

Forks wasn’t completely awful. You were in your junior year when you moved to a new school, so making friends wasn’t exactly easy. The first few days of school you were trying to figure out where everything was. You were somewhat disappointed that your family didn��t have the same lunch period as you. Day three was okay though. You walked into the cafeteria and start looking for somewhere to sit. As soon as you walk in you feel like someone is watching you, because they are. A boy named Jackson to be exact. You see his friends and him waving to you and you decide to sit with them.

“Hi. I haven’t seen you around here before. You knew?”

“Yeah. I’m (y/n). My family just moved here.”

“That’s cool. I’m Jackson. Where are you from?”

“oh, we move around a lot but I’m originally from (state).”

“Cool. Hey, I know we just met and all but you’re really pretty. You wanna get breakfast at the diner Saturday?”

“Like a date?”

“Yeah like a date.”

“Yeah I’d like that. Write down the address and I’ll be there.”

“Sure thing.”

The rest of lunch was spent in laughter. You answered a few more questions and talked about how school was going until it was time to go back to class. Later that when you got home you were really excited to talk to Rosalie.

“Rosy you’ll never guess what happened today!”

“what?”

“I got asked on a date.”

“Oh, that’s lovely. When?”

“This Saturday. At the diner.”

“That’s nice. What’s his name?”

“Jackson Black.”

You told everyone in the house about this date. So excited about it you spend the rest of the week waiting for it to be over. Carlisle disapproves and while you assume it’s because he’s just being a dad, the minute you said his last name everyone seemed a little concerned or disapproving. Saturday rolls around and breakfast was great, and you learned a lot more about his family. They have a long history in this town. They live on the reservation. He tells you about the parties his family throws occasionally and how excited he is to take you to one. After a few weeks you get that chance.

Rosalie always heard about your plans first she was your social butterfly and planner all wrapped in one.

“Where does he live?”

“He said something about a reservation.” You see Rosalie’s expression turn to from happy to concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Carlisle just has bad stories of the reservation from when he was younger. I’m sure it won’t be a problem just make sure you let him know.”

“Okay.”

The rest of that week went by in a blur. You told Carlisle about the party and he seemed reluctant to let you go but you were almost 18 and he had to give you some freedom in this new town or you’d go crazy. You threw on a yellow sundress and some black flats and drove over to the party. Jackson met you at your car and led you up the hill to the house.

“You look lovely.”

“Thank you. I don’t know how you party here, but I wanted to look decent at least.”

“I’ll introduce you to the rest of the family. Here in Forks everybody knows everybody so I might as well give you a good introduction.”

“Thank you Jackson.”

A good portion of your classmates were in the front yard when you arrived at the house. You follow Jackson in, and he introduces you to a few others, but you notice that some of the older members of his family are giving you a look. You can’t quite put your finger on it, but it doesn’t seem like they are too thrilled to have you here. Jackson notices too. He send you out to the yard with the rest of the partiers and goes to talk to his grandfather.

“Gramps what’s up? Why are you giving (y/n) the look of death?”

“She stinks”

“Well that’s rude.”

“Jackson do you remember the stories we used to tell you of the cold ones? How we are built to fight them, and how we have a truce between them so that if they ever return they may not step foot on our land?”

“Yes I know. And I know that now that the Cullen family is back in town you’re concerned because some of the others have already changed, but what does that have to do with her? She’s not a cold one.”

“Then why does she smell like one?”

“I held her hand the whole way up the hill. She’s not as pale as them and oh yeah she has a pulse.”

“I don’t trust her. I want her gone.”

“You know what you didn’t even meet her. I’m going to get her.”

Jackson finds you talking to a few girls and brings you back in the house.

“(y/n) this is my grandfather. Gramps this is (y/n).”

“Nice to meet you sir.”

You reach out your hand to shake his and he looks surprised as he obliges

“Nice to meet you as well young lady. Where did you say you were from?”

“I’m originally from (state) but my family moved around a lot as a kid. I was adopted when I was little.”

“Adopted?”

“Yes sir.”

“And who adopted you?”

“The Cullens sir. We just moved back. My dad’s the new doctor, have you met him?”

“Yes I know him from a while back” you notice the barely concealed disdain in his voice and wonder about what Rosalie had said.

“I was told he has some bad memories here do you know what happened?”

“No, I don’t. Our families haven’t gotten along in generations.”

“oh. Ummm…” You turn to Jackson who looks horrified at his grandfather’s words. He takes you back to the front yard and you enjoy the rest of your night. He goes inside one last time to grab something before he walks you back down the hill to your car. When he returns he looks nervous.

“Hey (y/n)?”

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Look I like you, but my family doesn’t like your family and they told me not to bring you around anymore. I hope you had a good time, but I think this will be our last date. Sorry.”

“Uh. Yeah okay I guess I’ll see you at school or something.”

You drive home in tears. You didn’t understand why the family hated you so much. You had nothing to do with whatever drama they had with Carlisle and you had been nothing but polite and respectful the entire time you were there. You come through the front doors to find your family in the living room with two strangers. All eyes turn to you.

“Hi. Ummm…Carlisle who are they?”

“They are some family friends they’ll be joining us here for a while. This is Alice and Jasper.”

The two of them look similar to Aro’s side of family. The girl looked sweet enough, but the boy looked like he was physical pain.

“How was the party?”

“The party was great until his family decided that because I’m in your family I’m not allowed on the reservation anymore. Apparently ya’ll have some kind of beef with that family? I’m exhausted. I’m just going to shower and go to bed. Goodnight.”

You as you walk past the group and up the stairs you fail to notice Alice holding on to Jasper’s arm just a bit tighter. You go to the shower blissfully unaware that the leftover smell of wolf attached to you was the only thing that prevented your two new housemates from killing you. Deciding it would be best if they were out of earshot they leave Emmett at the house in case you need anything and the rest of them leave to continue the conversation you had just walked in on. Jasper is the first to speak again.

“Who was that?” Carlisle answers him.

“That was (y/n). My daughter. We adopted her as a family when she was young. Yes the Volturi know about her, no she does not know about us in case that wasn’t made clear by her choices to go to the reservation. And no, we do not intend to turn her or tell her.”

Edwards pipes in.

“Carlisle are you sure it’s safe to be accepting newcomers with her in the house?”

“Alice says she can see the future and she says she is supposed to be with us. Who am I to deny fate?”

[mytrashcanlife]

Okay i finally did it!

I’ve posted part 1 of the Jasper fanfiction I started back in october. I have much more written but it is in the editing stage and few loose ends to tie up still so I will be releasing the parts one by one as I am happy with them. Enjoy the first of hopefully many in the new series: Ashes to Ashes.

Edit: alright new plan. I had a sudden burst on energy last night and finished the whole thing. It’s all in the queue and will be released over the next week. There are 7 parts.

[mytrashcanlife]

Ashes to Ashes Jasper x Reader Part 1

It was an accident. A mistake. But Carlisle couldn’t just leave her there.

Two parents had been lost to a house fire, leaving a little girl to walk the streets looking for help. Once the proper authorities had been notified and the fire was put out, a social worker arrived at the scene to find the child, shaking and crying, with the town doctor Carlisle Cullen. The girl appeared to be fine, she was a little bruised up with a few scratches here and there, but she didn’t appear to have any burns. The social worker recognized the doctor and asked a simple enough question,

“Hey, aren’t you a foster parent? You already have the three teens right?”

Carlisle couldn’t blow their cover, so he said, “yes that’s correct.”

“Look I’m going to be honest with you, we’ve got more kids than workers and definitely more kids than parents, it’s going to take a bit before we can find her a new home. Would you be alright with holding onto her just until we can find her somewhere else to go? It would be a big help. It should only be a couple of days. Is that alright?””

Carlisle looked at the girl, wrapped in a safety blanket with tears in her eyes. She’d been through enough. Spending god knows how long at a police or fire station to be sent to who knows where to endure who knows what else wasn’t going to help her. At least he knew she’d be safe with him and his family until she could be placed somewhere else.

“Of course. Do I need to sign anything?”

“No, I’ll put it in the file system when I get to the office tomorrow. Thank you so much”

The two of them walked over to the child. She looks up at them with recognition. Everyone here knew each other, and she recognize them even if she didn’t truly know them.

“Hi what’s your name sweetie?”

“(y/n).”

“Okay (y/n) well this is Dr. Cullen, and he’s going to take you home with him until we can find you a family member or someone else to live with okay?”

“Yes ma’am. Hi Dr. Cullen.”

“Please call me Carlisle. You ready to go?”

“yeah I guess so”

To say that the others were confused would be one hell of an understatement. Esme and Rosalie recognized the look of trauma on her face and knew immediately that something was wrong. Their nurturing instincts allowed the child to adjust to the new environment a bit easier. Once the girl was calmed down fed and sleeping in the spare bedroom, all hell broke loose downstairs. Edward was not happy about this situation.

“Let me get this straight. You adopted a human child?”

“No Edward I did not. I’m not stupid. Her parents just died, and the system is a mess. We are just housing her until they find somewhere else to put her.”

“How long will that take? We leave in three weeks.”

“She probably has an aunt or a grandparent, or someone to take her. The social worker said it should only be a few days.”

Rosalie finally cuts in “Edward relax. The girl’s been through hell. She just needs a place to stay for a bit and acting like she is a burden is not going to help her. Besides it’s only temporary.”

“Exactly, only temporary.” Right?

Wrong. What they didn’t know was that the social worker never filed the case, nobody was notified and when it came time to move again she was just getting comfortable around the family. She was another child lost to the system. A mistake, but after all the girl had been through and how happy she made Rosalie and Esme, he couldn’t just leave her behind.

So that’s how you ended up with the Cullen family at 4 years old moving for what will certainly not be the last time. We’ll call it a happy accident. There was one big rule though that nobody was allowed to break: Nobody tell her.

This wasn’t actually the easiest rule to abide by because children are curious, and they say things they shouldn’t. The best example being that you noticed that your family’s eyes were all gold, but not yours. Your eyes are (e/c). Normal enough but not in your family. When asked Carlisle states that the eye color is a genetic defect and you don’t have it because you were adopted. You accepted this and many other explanations for strange occurrences in your house.

When you were around five the Volturi caught wind of your existence and to put it lightly they were not happy. They thought you were either an immortal child or at the very least you knew what they are and that means the Cullen family broke rule number one. Carlisle heard they were coming and had to call a family meeting. Edward sounded calmer than he really was.

“why do they even care about her? she’s a child! Do they think we turned her?”

“I don’t know why their coming, but they are an we need to put their mind at ease. We have nothing to fear Edward. We didn’t do anything wrong.” Rosalie joins in the conversation, voice laced with concern.

“I don’t know Carlisle, Edward’s right. Even if we didn’t do anything they don’t know that. We might be in big trouble”

“Who’s in trouble?” The family looks over to see (y/n) standing in the doorway to the living room. Esme takes care of this one.

“Nobody is in trouble dear. We just have some people coming over soon and we want to make sure they don’t think we broke any rules.”

“Who’s coming over?”

“Some extended family.”

“Do I get to meet them?” Esme looks at Carlisle for help. Edward tries to answer but Carlisle cuts him off

“absolutely n—"

“Yes, you do. Don’t worry dear everything is fine. Go back to bed”

“Okay. Goodnight”

They all say their goodnights and you go back upstairs to bed.

“How did none of us notice her?”

“We were too busy fighting, now Edward stop panicking it’s going to be fine”

“You’re going to get her, if not all of us killed.”

A few days later they did arrive. You met them in a field a few miles away from the house. They looked at you in confusion. Aro turned to Carlisle who stood far closer than normal to prevent (y/n) from overhearing any part of their conversation.

“She’s completely human.?”

“Yes. We ended up with her by accident she doesn’t know anything, and she doesn’t need to know anything. She’s perfectly normal and I would like to keep it that way.”

Jane cuts in, “How do explain us being here?”

“She thinks you’re extended family. Any question she’s had about appearances so far I’ve convinced her is nothing more than genetic defect. Eventually we’ll have to leave her but she’s a child with literally nowhere else to go.”

“Bring her here.” Carlisle looked back at you on Emmet’s shoulders laughing and hesitates. “We just want to speak with her. Bring her here and stand down.”

“(y/n), This is uncle Aro he and the others want to talk to you is that okay? I’ll be over there with the family if you need anything.”

“Okay.” You hop off Emmet’s Shoulders and run over to these new family members. “Hi. My name is (y/n) and I’m five. I’m adopted, but that’s okay cause my family loves me. You’re Uncle Aro right?”

“Yes dear.” You turn to Jane with a look of awe.

“What’s your name?”

“My name is Jane.”

“Hi Jane. You’re pretty.” Jane smiles slightly.

“Thank you.”

You turn back to Aro. “Carlisle said that you think he did something wrong, but he didn’t do anything. I promise. The whole family is really nice to me, and they would never hurt me. One time a boy pulled my hair and Emmet gave him a look so mean he ran away. I promise they didn’t do anything, and Carlisle said that if I shook your hand that you would know I wasn’t lying.” You hold your hand out and Aro takes it. He seems dazed for a moment before looking back down at you smiling.

“I believe you. How about you go back over to your family and send Carlisle back over here okay?”

“Okay.” You bound back over to your family and tell Carlisle to go back over to uncle Aro.

“So? What’s the decision?”

“She lives. But we’ll be visiting her every year to make sure she’s oblivious. Let’s see how long you can keep up this façade.”

“You know you can’t keep this up for her entire life Carlisle. Eventually she’ll have questions you can’t answer. She’ll either turn or she’ll die.”

“She will do neither Jane.”

“Suit yourself, but you know the rules. Don’t break them.”

“We will return this time next year. Be ready.”

“I will. Thank you. Goodbye.” Carlisle turns around to find you on the ground making a flower crown while Rosalie was braiding your hair. “(y/n) come say by to your cousins and uncle.”

“Okay.”

Given the circumstances you grow up pretty normal. You make friends in your classes while you’re at each school for a few years before the family comes up with some strange reason as to why you have to move. You’re bubbly and happy and appreciate the inherent sanctity of human life. You take up sewing as a hobby, learning it from Esme who enjoyed nothing more than teaching you. You tried to join sports like cheerleading but with all the moving team sports didn't work. Emmet however did take you rock climbing consistently so there was that outlet for all your energy. You even enjoy your yearly visits from the “other side of the family.” Making small gifts for them each time they visit. At one point you even asked if you could go visit them instead since they live in Italy, but Carlisle said no in such a way you knew better than to ask again. Jane begins to return the gifts you make with her own, sometimes bringing small trinkets or even clothing for you. Carlisle is surprised when you tell them his decision, and Jane actually looks disappointed that you can't visit them. For two more towns and 12 more years everything is great. Until It was time to move again this time to somewhere Carlisle liked to call home: Forks Washington.

[mytrashcanlife]

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

[mytrashcanlife]

Okay so this has nothing to do with the jasper fic I’m currently writing but can you imagine being a fashion history student and living with the cullens but without knowing they’re vampires? My cousin’s school had an assignment where you picked four random numbers out of four bowls in order and that was your year to recreate.

I’m just imagining the student like “so we have until the end of the semester to recreate looks from randomly selected numbers I got 2 roughly 1920’s two Mid 1930’s and 1863. I guess I’ll start with the last one.”

Jasper: “why start with that one?”

Student “cause it’s going to take the most work. Do you have any idea how long it took to make a ball gown in 1863?!”

Entire Cullen family “internal laughter”

[mytrashcanlife]

Okay so people actually have an interest in the weird ideas in my brain so I guess I’ll start writing them down. Fair warning though this is gonna be a long and slow burn and a lot of time inconsistencies within the the fic because I’m not down with the idea of accidentally promoting grooming.