namjoomwillz

[namjoomwillz]

its crazy that a lot of what we call 'video essays' these days are basically low budget documentaries on increasingly weird and niche topics. no network approval no tv budget just one guy with maybe a hired editor/writer and a couple of friends willing to read voice lines. and then they put it on youtube like its no big deal. insane.

[namjoomwillz]

One statement. Garfield's eye acting is so good.

[namjoomwillz]

I've seen so many questionable takes on this seasons' storylines because there really seems to be a disconnect when it comes to understanding these characters. It is incredibly fustrating.

Charlie's sense of worthlessness and love for Babe (and Jeff) are the foundation of his character—they're literally the driving forces behind everything he's ever done (eg. the entire plot of s1). As he was saying goodbye to Babe, he is listing things off just as a personal assistant would for their boss. If that doesn't clearly demonstrate how he sees himself in their relationship, how he superficially quantifies his value in Babe's life, idk what will.

Babe, on the other hand, is not "playing the victim card" or whatever else is being said. Babe is a victim and on top of that, has a deep seated fear of loss and abandonment. Those are his driving forces—his trauma—and he is reacting accordingly to the present situation. In their recent conversations, Babe has been trying his best to show and tell Charlie how much he loves him and how much he means to him. They are both doing what they can with the cards in hand and the ones they're being dealt.

All of that said, I'm gonna need us to put our thinking caps on as we move forward in the series because analyzing a character's actions while completely ignoring the characterization that has been so thoroughly and thoughtfully laid out is a big no-no.

[namjoomwillz]

Season 2 making me realize how much I love Babe's character.

[namjoomwillz]

i think kenta should cry in kim's arms. for my sick pleasure.

[namjoomwillz]

I want this to be 'Kenta fell first and kenta fell harder.'

[namjoomwillz]

What a beautiful man.

😏🥵

[namjoomwillz]

The dichotomy of Charlie being both selfless while being incredibly self absorbed is making my head itch.

[namjoomwillz]

It's not just friday. It's Pit Babe friday.

[namjoomwillz]

pit babe has so much potential if the writers knew how to do their job they could give us three seasons or more so much omegaverse to explore it's too bad they're afraid⁠·⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠(⁠>⁠▂⁠<⁠)⁠´⁠¯⁠`⁠·⁠.ಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ

🙄 Give me a break, nonny.

Season 2 has not even finished airing yet. For all we know and have been told, there could be a season 3 after they finish filming Goddess Bless Me. They filmed and aired Long Beans while season 2 was still up-in-the air so its not unlikely.

Personally I think they're doing a pretty damn good job with season 2 all things considered. Omegaverse is not really my cup of tea (because its core tennents are just blatant transphobia rebranded as some kind of woke bullshit about letting men get pregnant when trans men have been capable of that since time immemorial) but I am a classic mpreg enjoyer so sometimes I will enjoy something that relies on it to tell a story, so frankly I don't really care how much they choose to explore that aspect of the show. Clearly it is not actually meant to be that important to the narrative if they are choosing to dip into it so shallowly throughout.

Also the point of a show is not to cater to what every fan wants or expects from the story. The writers and directors have a vision and that is what's most important here. There have been so many subtle hints to mpreg throughout season 2 that I wouldn't put it past them to leave us on an mpreg related cliff-hanger and set us up for an entire third season, possibly more. Pit Babe is proving to be quite lucrative so I would not be surprised if they wanted to milk it for all they can - and they damn well should because its a good show with consistent characterization and a compelling storyline.

Anon, just have patience and learn to respect the story thats being told rather than holding unrealistic expectations. Just because they're not doing it how you think they should doesn't mean it comes from a place of fear. Omegaverse has never been a major part of this storyline. At this point, hoping for or expecting it to be is just setting yourself up for disappointment. You should be enjoying the show for what it actually is, not what you think it should be.

[namjoomwillz]

The power of emotional attachment - My Beautiful Man

This is going to be long, buckle up.

This might be a hard pill to swallow but hardly any lasting relationship can be entirely healthy.

Call it what you want but unexplainable attachment, shared past/trauma is what works to keep people together when rationality fails (and emotions aren't rational). Sometimes you stay together just because you're used to being around each other. Familiarity is comfort.

Sure, Hira is touched when Kiyoi steps in while he gets bullied but the unexplainable attachment is his attraction. Hira hated going to school since day 1. He stuttered like he dreaded on the first day of school & was ready to get bullied. Kiyoi walks in late with carefree strides & draws attention away from Hira much to his relief. He looked like everything Hira was not. Popular, confident.... Attractive. For the first time Hira is helplessly attracted to someone. Watching Kiyoi was an incentive to go to school. This helps Hira endure the bullying. Since he had decided Kiyoi is unattainable, loving him felt safe. There was distance, no fear of rejection, no shattered expectations. Hira subconsciously associates Kiyoi with his will to wake up & continue going to school, continue living daily life when he had no one to come home to.

Initially Kiyoi is weary of Hira's intentions. Hira gives off an impression of a weirdo, a sore loser, a stalker. Kiyoi softens gradually as Hira keeps his secret safe. For the first time someone wants nothing from him. Hira loving him from a distance seems so selfless that Kiyoi can't help but find it cute. So he subconsciously associates Hira with unconditional love & admiration. Kiyoi wanted to be a celebrity for the exact same reason - to witness the adoration he saw in Hira's eyes. Something he had in his own eyes for those on TV.

As time passes, Kiyoi sees the downside. Hira likes his imaginary version of King Kiyoi & not the attention starved Kiyoi. He is indeed a fanatic & his religion/God is Kiyoi the mere mortal. Kiyoi is torn between attachment & his need for acceptance at this point. He's heartbroken that Hira refuses to see through him. After all the drama that happens, these scenes are a turning point.

This is Kiyoi finally communicating his needs for once. He admits that he wants to melt into Hira's embrace only if Hira will NOT act like a devotee but as his boyfriend. Yes, Hira is selfish. He wants to feel safe so he decided it was goodbye after Kiyoi kissed him & said see you again. He chose to ignore the endearing tone of stalker. It's obvious even without context that Kiyoi meant "Yes you're gross & annoying. But I love putting up with you, Idk why. So please stay around me."

These Hira scenes with Hira as top are especially meaningful. It not only shatters the stereotype of the ruder character with heavier built topping, but also shows the true essence of the characters. (This is has nothing to do with who is more dominant/ submissive in the relationship!!) Kiyoi wanted to feel loved, cared for & pampered. And Hira wanted to do exactly that. To give Kiyoi the attention he craved for.

Hira pins Kiyoi down. It's like he's bringing him down from the pedestal he put him on. Hira is letting himself express his desires. As for Kiyoi, he's finally feeling safe being vulnerable with the one he yearned for. The ending is symbolic of a new beginning. It's 2 people choosing to put aside their perceptions of each other & start looking at the other as an equal. Look at each other beyond appearance & image.

This is Kiyoi accepting Hira. Notice how he never talked to Hira in public in the past? They barely talked even if they were together in isolation back in high school.

But now, he's clingy IN PUBLIC. It's Kiyoi saying "Yes Hira you are extremely gross to the point I question why I love you. But I love you regardless & I am willing to accept even your most disgusting form."

Hira can come across as a creepy stalker to others but he's Kiyoi's beloved stalker.

[namjoomwillz]

Unknown - Ep 11 - That Scene

The opening scene of episode 11 landed differently for me than it did for others. I was going to just keep it to myself since I have a minority opinion, but when I rewatched it last night I fell even more in love with it!

The structure!! It's so good! Let me explain.

At the bottom of the stairs, Qian hesitates. He still hasn't made up his mind.

Yuan says "Do you still not get it?" He knows what Qian is feeling, even if Qian hasn't figured it out yet. So he says what he wants very clearly.

Yuan asks for permission to do 4 things:

1. Be more than just Qian's brother.

2. Be who Qian relies on when he's down.

3. Be someone Qian can talk to about anything.

4. Be with Qian for the rest of his life.

Before Qian answers, he revisits 4 sets of memories, each set answering one of Yuan's questions with a resounding YES.

After each affirmative answer, it cuts back to the sex scene to communicate that THIS is the culmination of all those yesses.

In other words, there are 4 direct questions and 4 groups of memories that hold the answers to those questions, 4 times those memories scream the answer is YES, and 4 cuts to a bit of sex.

Let's look at the groups of memories.

1. He thinks back to Yuan's words in ep 9. Does he not want Yuan? Or does he not DARE to want Yuan? And he remembers all the times he felt desire for Yuan, but suppressed it. Can he be more than just Yuan's brother? Yes.

2. He thinks back to Yuan consistently being someone Qian can rely on, all through his childhood until now. "If the world falls down, we'll hold it up together." "You won't be alone." "I like being around you." Yuan genuinely likes being around Qian and has never wanted to leave him. He's shown his commitment to Qian time and time again. Can Qian rely on Yuan when he's down? Yes.

3. He remembers how long and hard Yuan suffered while enduring one-sided love, and that Yuan chose to suffer in quiet for years rather than confess to Qian about it. But Qian knew Yuan was suffering that whole time and hated it. It broke Qian's heart to see how hard it was for Yuan. If he did likewise and didn't talk about things, he'd also break the heart of the person who loves him because of his silence. Yuan laid himself bare and told Qian everything. Can Qian reciprocate and tell Yuan about everything in his life, even the hard things? Yes.

4. He thinks about how Yuan has ALREADY built his entire life around Qian. "I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian." Memories of Yuan come like a flood, rapidly gaining momentum. Yuan has already been with Qian for most of his life, and will NOT STOP. Qian can't imagine a life without Yuan. So can Yuan be with Qian for the rest of his life? Yes.

Qian nods and says his answer aloud: You can. And then they kiss.

The sex is not the point. It's the culmination. It's all the yesses stacked on top each other until they break the last of Qian's walls. By cutting the sex so it only exists between each resounding YES, they've made it less about the action of it and more about Qian realizing that YES, they're ALREADY in love and unalterably committed to each other. Why not give in to his physical desires when the rest is so clear?

Others watched this and saw a sex scene interrupted by cumbersome flashbacks. I watched this and saw a dramatic feelings realization interrupted by snippets of quite lovely sex that drove those feelings home.

A final note: It's probably because I'm demisexual, but I am frequently unmoved by sex scenes, especially when they do not advance the plot or the character development. This onscreen scene moved me. It hit the right emotional note. It was focused primarily on Qian's pov (his face is the one the camera is focusing on). And it was artfully done, instead of merely being titillating.

I'm tagging a few people who I recall talking about this in their posts, but it's been a couple of weeks so forgive me if I leave someone out or misremember. @absolutebl @lurkingshan @bengiyo @wen-kexing-apologist @wanderlust-in-my-soul @twig-tea

[namjoomwillz]

Anyone notice how Kiyoi stands tall at the isolation and bullying from people who were his friends? He never gives ground.

And I realized that is who Hira is in love with. Kiyoi is beautiful and he stands out for it. But thats not what makes him a king or a God in Hira's eyes.

Its Kiyoi's strength. His confidence. How he is ambitious about becoming a celeb. Qualities that Hira sorely lacks.

In Kiyoi's episode he says, that once they realized he wasn't special they left. And its because Hira never stops seeing Kiyoi as incredible, Kiyoi starts to believe it too.

Hira isn't just feeding Kiyoi's ego, he's pouring affirmation and attention into a neglected child who grew into a heavily armored man.

And its just so incredible that both these men truly SEE each other. And because they do, they help each other become better people and reach their potential.

I effing love this show.

[namjoomwillz]

Another reason I'm obsessed with My Beautiful Man, they completely deconstruct the whole Tsundere trope and make it better.

Kiyoi's harsh attitude is used masterfully to not be seen as vulnerable and he even convinces himself that he's not as emotional a person as the rest of those around him. And Hira's worship of him just adds to this. But Kiyoi is greedy for Hira, even as he can't bring himself to accept just how much he has come to need Hira to love him.

This is why Hira and his insecurities while heartbreaking to see, never make me angry, because if this were every other romance then Hira would keep trying to make Kiyoi love him. But Hira limits himself, cause he's so genuinely respectful and hates the thought of doing anything Kiyoi wouldn't like. And Hira doesn't believe himself worthy of love so the Tsundere!Kiyoi has to break out of his own protective shell to be vulnerable!

Kiyoi can't live in denial about who he wants. His abrasive behaviour, which is a defense mechanism, has consequences! The man he loves just pulls further away. His inability to communicate his feelings verbally leaves Hira without an understanding of what Kiyoi feels. And so Kiyoi is unable to live in denial and is forced to accept repeatedly just how much he cares about Hira, just how much he wants him.

Kiyoi even tries to repeatedly let go of Hira in typical Tsundere fashion, which is a call for attention. But in this case it doesn't work! Kiyoi doesn't get to be chased as his ego demands! HE HAS TO DO THE CHASING!

Kiyoi has to learn to be honest with himself and with his lover. And that's why they're soulmates! Only Hira could have pushed Kiyoi into smashing out of his shell. Just as Kiyoi is the only one who can motivate Hira to grow and fight to overcome his own shell.

I know it seems like I'm obsessed with Kiyoi, but I'm actually completely in love with Hira and don't know how to verbalize my thoughts on that man. He's insane and completely amazing.

[namjoomwillz]

revisited an old cora piece🫡

[namjoomwillz]

Finally watched Saltburn

[namjoomwillz]

Thinking about how the most vile people always co-opt religion to hide behind as an excuse for their nefarious actions.