namoamii

[namoamii]

…?

[namoamii]

thought about this poem again. I'm eternally grateful for this. It's written so beautifully, I wish I can express how much I love this with words... What a shame I couldn't articulate this big lump of emotion that strikes me whenever I read the last three lines!

dog-leggèd thing, i saw you in the park

without your head. the collar slung around

your bloodless stump was threadbare, near untied,

and i was certain if i held you light

and loathsome in my arms, it would come loose

and then that would be it: your raw-rubbed neck

released, your leash dragged through the cherry roots,

your flesh reminded of its headlessness.

but my feet gave no chase: instead i cringed

at my own hubris, wept for i’d recalled

the frigid months, the day your head was lost:

no knife, no gun. a nudge, and it came free.

the collar still held fast. you did not scream,

you did not die: you ran on joyously.

I had Komaeda write this poem in an RP a while ago—I was very inspired by an amazing comic by @namoamii

[namoamii]

*CW: gore, eyestrain, flashing

╬╬═══⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆═══╬╬

oops senpai😣...

sorry, for stealing—

your heart 💓💅

╬╬═══⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆═══╬╬

[namoamii]

*CW: gore, eyestrain, flashing

╬╬═══⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆═══╬╬

oops senpai😣...

sorry, for stealing—

your heart 💓💅

╬╬═══⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆═══╬╬

[namoamii]

Hinakoma AO3 Site Skin

it's as the title says, image preview down below.

Access the AO3 work for more details.

[namoamii]

“A Ghost of Summer” 9P comic, post-sdr2 canon, disregard 2.5

Only Komaeda is still stuck in the program, Hinata wants to bring him back. It’s a summer story.

[namoamii]

Thanks for the reply! I'm so glad that you responded, yes I'm still taking responses to this post even after 3 years haha. I love your analysis! What a genuine and well-thought-out analysis of Komaeda’s character (definitely scratched more than just the surface)! I wonder if I can comment on some of your thoughts…

>>re: “break this cycle” - its true de facto! But I wonder if he himself thinks the cycle (of fortune-misfortune) is breakable — it seems like his death in chapter 5 is only a perpetuation of this cycle, even after his death. He believes so strongly in this cycle and the narrative is not stopping him from doing so. It is his misery; but also his talent, his meaning, the only thing he thinks of as valuable about himself. It is as you said: “taken [his life] to mean something significant.” He validates this ridiculous cycle by making them all worthy. Fate has always been above him, he never tried to conquer it, not even in ch5.

>>re: “quite poetic” that he fell for Hinata - it is! And it’s by narrative design. He was drawn to Hinata because he can smell the pathetic talentless-ness from him too. He can’t help it.

>>re: love - That’s why it’s really surprising when he was like “praise me build me a statue” in main story ch6, and “can you be my friend” at the end of island mode! He thought he could give up but Hinata changed him. Now he wanted to be a protagonist and be loved as the ultimate hope; or become someone’s friend even extending the hand himself. Hinata changed him T_T.

It makes me happy that you like him so much ^_^ and you’re definitely not alone!! I was also a lonesome disturbed teenager (still am lonesome and disturbed hahaha) who’s obsessed with DR. I’ve been into DR for 14 years and Komaeda still intrigues me. I can find parts of myself in him because of some similar (although not as dramatic!) experience. He disturbs me in the most beautiful way~

What are y'all's thoughts about Komaeda? Just one word is fine — tell me! I want to know!

Writings about Komaeda are all under the #komaedump tag; less relevant asks under #komaedasks. Feel free to read or to block, my takes are hot but Komaeda is hotter.

SPOILERS AHEAD, you’ve been warned. I don’t tag my spoilers, so please follow at your discretion.

[namoamii]

“A Ghost of Summer” 9P comic, post-sdr2 canon, disregard 2.5

Only Komaeda is still stuck in the program, Hinata wants to bring him back. It’s a summer story.

[namoamii]

Actually, after thinking about it, even the main story line is kinda like that. Hinata still showed Komaeda something that pushed him to "want" to be the Hope that he "hoped" for. It's a wish that he attempted to fulfill himself... He's still alone. But in Island Mode, he's not!

thinking about the difference between 願望(wish) and 希望(hope)... Hope is a painful thing, as Nietzsche has once said, it prolongs pain, it's the greatest of evil. Wish, on the other hand, is something a bit too naive and selfish. There's two different temporality embedded in them... Hope seems a bit further than wish. You wish for something, you probably want it quick. When you encounter a genie, the genie grants you wish the moment after you tell them your wish.

Wish is also quite childish... Hope is very adult. Children are our hope, I've heard this phrase too many times. Only adults say that. Children are our future, too. But Komaeda lost his childhood pretty early. He embraced this hope thing a bit too early. When he should still be making wishes to his parents. You don't hope for something when you're a child, you wish for them — you simply want. There's no price to pay, no pain to endure. You want a pair of new shoes for your birthday, your parents (if they're responsible and loving parents, as all parents ought to be) get them for you.

Komaeda doesn't make wish. He either hopes or makes request. Fortune wrecked his childhood. And now he doesn't wish no more. Even though there might be people around him (yes I mean Hinata) who will listen to his wish. And try to grant it, albeit not perfect? Who knows. But if Hinata loves him, he will do so. Not something far away like hope, just a small small wish...

[namoamii]

so I guess in a way for me Island Mode is for Hinata to teach Komaeda how to make a wish — how to say "I want..." instead of "«it» will come..."

He thought to himself: I want this boy to be my friend. He asks: can I be your friend? — that is a wish.

(yes, hope and future are still good, but sometimes you need to look around, not ahead. Hope is way too far, wish could be within your reach. You need these small wishes stacking together for a mind to hope for a future.)

thinking about the difference between 願望(wish) and 希望(hope)... Hope is a painful thing, as Nietzsche has once said, it prolongs pain, it's the greatest of evil. Wish, on the other hand, is something a bit too naive and selfish. There's two different temporality embedded in them... Hope seems a bit further than wish. You wish for something, you probably want it quick. When you encounter a genie, the genie grants you wish the moment after you tell them your wish.

Wish is also quite childish... Hope is very adult. Children are our hope, I've heard this phrase too many times. Only adults say that. Children are our future, too. But Komaeda lost his childhood pretty early. He embraced this hope thing a bit too early. When he should still be making wishes to his parents. You don't hope for something when you're a child, you wish for them — you simply want. There's no price to pay, no pain to endure. You want a pair of new shoes for your birthday, your parents (if they're responsible and loving parents, as all parents ought to be) get them for you.

Komaeda doesn't make wish. He either hopes or makes request. Fortune wrecked his childhood. And now he doesn't wish no more. Even though there might be people around him (yes I mean Hinata) who will listen to his wish. And try to grant it, albeit not perfect? Who knows. But if Hinata loves him, he will do so. Not something far away like hope, just a small small wish...

[namoamii]

thinking about the difference between 願望(wish) and 希望(hope)... Hope is a painful thing, as Nietzsche has once said, it prolongs pain, it's the greatest of evil. Wish, on the other hand, is something a bit too naive and selfish. There's two different temporality embedded in them... Hope seems a bit further than wish. You wish for something, you probably want it quick. When you encounter a genie, the genie grants you wish the moment after you tell them your wish.

Wish is also quite childish... Hope is very adult. Children are our hope, I've heard this phrase too many times. Only adults say that. Children are our future, too. But Komaeda lost his childhood pretty early. He embraced this hope thing a bit too early. When he should still be making wishes to his parents. You don't hope for something when you're a child, you wish for them — you simply want. There's no price to pay, no pain to endure. You want a pair of new shoes for your birthday, your parents (if they're responsible and loving parents, as all parents ought to be) get them for you.

Komaeda doesn't make wish. He either hopes or makes request. Fortune wrecked his childhood. And now he doesn't wish no more. Even though there might be people around him (yes I mean Hinata) who will listen to his wish. And try to grant it, albeit not perfect? Who knows. But if Hinata loves him, he will do so. Not something far away like hope, just a small small wish...

[namoamii]

note to self

Character pages

[namoamii]

Nanami character pages from the Reload book requested by anon!

[namoamii]

Hinata character pages from the Reload book requested by anon!

[namoamii]

Be the steppingstones towards Hope!!

(app: amberdraw)

[namoamii]

Happy birthday Nagito! Hope is on the other side!

[namoamii]

Happy birthday Nagito! Hope is on the other side!