natalie-wilhelm - Tumblr blog

[natalie-wilhelm]

cosplay (n.) - the practice of dressing up as a character from a movie, book, or video game.

First time attending @rosecitycc this year. Although the heat was unbearable and was unable to get my (real) cosplay together in time, I was able to at least appreciate the work of others.

Here’s to the kickoff of cosplay season in Portland.

[natalie-wilhelm]

Last night I had the privilege of attending @animayhem_pdx Drink & Draw event at @nucleusportland art gallery. It was a small but little collaborative space where illustrators could come and draw and share their work while sippin’ on some cider at the same time. It’s nice to see so many ideas and imaginations come together.

[natalie-wilhelm]

Slightly belated post, but on Sunday I had the privilege of attending @animayhem_pdx over at the @hollywoodtheatr ! Animayhem is an annual film festival hosted in Portland that showcases a variety of different anime OVAs (Original Video Animation). Sometimes they’re linked a particular series, sometimes they’re just standalone originals. The films that were played that night were Cat Soup, Leda: The Fantastic Adventure of Yohko, Dragon Half, and Amon: The Apocalypse of Devilman.

Before the film screening took place, there was a mini artist alley located in the theater’s lobby. There a bunch of local vendors sold various anime themed art and merch for about two hours before the show. I picked up a retro anime zine called “Animerica” before I got some popcorn.

If you attended Animayhem on Sunday, which was your favorite OVA and why?

[natalie-wilhelm]

First Free Comic Book Day in Portland yesterday. This shop was a little bit smaller than the other ones I’ve been to but still had some solid content nonetheless. Big shoutout to their little indie author section.

Where’s your favorite local comic shop?

[natalie-wilhelm]

Pop Culture (n.) - A set of practices, beliefs, artistic output and that are dominant and prevalent in a society at a given point in time.

How does MoPop define pop culture?

Pop culture shapes how we see the world, driving the ways we express and define ourselves and forging new communities through the power of shared enthusiasm. So why don’t more institutions take it seriously?

Massive: The Power of Pop Culture will explore the impact of global pop culture on our daily lives across 2,400 sq. ft. of exhibition space, offering visitors the tools to ask their own questions as they deep-dive into their role as creators and consumers of modern pop culture. (Taken from mopop.org)

…

As of lately pop culture, fandom, and science fiction have been occupying a lot of space in my brain. It seems as though Sci-Fi has been making a bit of a comeback. I sometimes perceive Sci-Fi movies and shows as being a bit undermined compared to the horror genre when it comes to film genre popularity. Americans are more likely to line up for the next slasher film right before Halloween, but when are you supposed to get hyped for sci-fi and fantasy? It would be nice if our culture had designated times of the year that were more centered around these genres, it would help with organizing events and such.

What does pop culture mean to you? What does science fiction mean to you?

[natalie-wilhelm]

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s @emeraldcitycomiccon 2024!

This was my first time attending a general “comic” con. In the past, I’ve only attended anime conventions with the exception of a horror convention (CryptiCon) a few years ago. The biggest difference between these more generalized comic-cons vs. anime-cons is that comic-cons tend to place more of an emphasis on American/Western comics, fandoms, and pop culture whereas anime-cons focus on Japanese/East Asian comics, fandoms, and pop culture. ECCC in particular is focused on superhero and science fiction fandoms. The largest fandom that I saw represented cosplay-wise was Star Wars. This could be due to the release of their new trading card game through Disney. It’s interesting to see the differences between these two convention cultures, it helps with understanding their target audiences.

Since I was only attending this con for one day and it’s held during the off-season for cosplay, I chose to put together a “pseudo-cosplay” from clothing items that I already owned vs. building an entirely new one from scratch. I call this look “Franken-cyberpunk.” I took a normal outfit of mine, slapped some green body paint on, and voila an OC is born! I felt like this aesthetic would best fit the theme of the con.

Here are some highlights from Saturday:

Slide 1: Franken-selfie outside of the Exhibitor’s Hall (Arch).

Slide 2: Candid pose inside of “ECCC” logo monument outside of the Artist Alley (Summit).

Slide 3: Frankenblossoming in front of what appears to be a backdrop depicting the UW Quad.

Slide 4: Selfie with Maile Flanagan, English voice actor for Naruto.

Slide 5: Batman and Catwoman posing dramatically.

Slide 6: The scariest Darth Vader cosplay I’ve ever encountered.

Slide 7: Funky Darth Vader (he’s your daddy).

Slide 8: Cosplay Contest finalists, 1st place won $1,000!!!

Slide 9: Cruella posing next to an unknown cosplayer.

Slide 10: Alice Cooper about to feed me, his Frankenstein, at the Nerd Prom in the Main Stage (Summit).

Thank you again ECCC 2024 for putting on such a fantastic exhibition.

[natalie-wilhelm]

For the first time in my life I think I’ve found something that truly gives me energy.

About a year and a half ago, I found a small table at SakuraCon’s exhibitors hall. It was advertising a volunteer run, community based anime convention in Portland called KumoriCon. The way that it was advertised, it looked a little dorky at first. I took my chances and booked a trip, it took place shortly after Halloween that year. Little did I know that I was about to enter a new chapter of my life.

Although there were some mishaps last year, something in my heart told me to give it another fair chance this year and I’m glad I did. This year was the first time I actually stayed in a hotel with a group of friends and got to experience every major event at the con—from the AMV Contest to the Friday Night Dance Party, the STREETWEAR Fashion Show to the Cosplay Contest, and the Cosplay Chess Tournament to the Closing Ceremonies, I really got to see it all. In between event blocks I got to meet plenty of cosplayers at various experience levels, native Portlanders who were more than willing to make new friends, and so much more.

Although this past year has been really rough for me emotionally and financially, something deep in my heart tells me that relocating to Portland is the right move. A sign of a new beginning—new friends, new adventures, and a new groove.

It’s time to put the past behind me and experience the dawn of a new day.

Here’s to Portland.

Here’s to Cosplay.

Here’s to confidence.

Here’s to friendship.

But most importantly,

here’s to KumoriCon.

Until next time, my friend.

[natalie-wilhelm]

The countdown to Halloween + KumoriCon is finally here! I’m cosplaying as Rukia Kuchiki from Bleach + Bleach Thousand Year Blood War, what about you?

Disclaimer: This is last year’s template. This year’s event will take place Nov. 16-19th.

[natalie-wilhelm]

Pride Goth

Black Butler (Kuroshitsuji) Fan Art

By Natalie Wilhelm

July 2023

[natalie-wilhelm]

A Glass of Wine (Black Butler FanFic)

CW: SPOILERS

The end of the Book of Circus arc re-imagined: What if Beast made it out of the fire alive? What if her and Sebastian actually continued a relationship? SebastianxBeast

And just like that it was up in flames.

The entire mansion.

It was almost gone.

Ciel had ordered Sebastian to burn the mansion where all of the circus performers and abducted children were. He did just that. They needed to erase every bit of evidence they could.

Before they were to escape back to the Phantomhive manor, Sebastian couldn't help but hear a twitching noise in the background amidst the crackling flames. Could it be a hare, perhaps?

It was dangerous to go back into a building that was completely engulfed in flames, but he felt like he could make the sacrifice with his demonic immunity.

"What in hell are you doing?" Ciel exclaimed through the smoke.

"I can't help but feel that I've forgotten something." Sebastian started leafing through the burning debris that was being flung at him. The scent of the decaying bodies was still there.

He heard an erratic, screeching noise through the crackle of the flames. It vaguely reminded him of an injured cat—knowing how much he loved cats, he couldn't let something like this happen.

He found the room where the abducted children and the remaining circus performers were killed in. Everything about Joker's corpse was burnt to a crisp—the only thing that remained were the three juggling balls he kept between his already skeletal prosthetic fingers.

Sebastian took a glance around the entire room, where on earth could that noise be coming from?

All of a sudden, he noticed something wriggling around from the other side of the room.

"Is that one of Snake's loyal serpents?" Sebastian murmured under his breath. It couldn't be, Ciel took him away to join the Phantomhive household.

Striding closer to the mysterious wiggling, string-like object, he did his best to be quick on his feet to avoid burning through the soles of his Oxford shoes.

He finally got close enough to see what it actually was—a rope. A thin, braided rope. What on earth could be causing a rope to wiggle in a caustic fire such as this?

Sebastian's eyes traveled to the very end of the rope, it was thin and pointed. Just like a whip.

A ring leader's whip.

Beast's whip!

Sebastian's stoic expression all of a sudden broke into a wide-eyed, gawking face of shock and panic. This couldn't be!

Utilizing his superhuman force, he ripped the door open and threw it straight into the fire. Before him a giant cloud of soot and ash puffed into the air. The silhouette of a female figure appeared.

It was his affair from the other night—Beast!

There she was, completely tattered, gasping for air and help simultaneously, nearly choking each time she attempted to verbalize something.

Her prosthetic leg appeared twisted and jammed inside of a punctured hole in the wall. She was using her other leg to kick the wall in attempt to crack it into a larger one. No matter how hard she kicked, the structure of the wall wouldn't come loose.

Her giant, red, and watery eyes pointed up towards Sebastian. She didn't recognize him at first.

The smoke and ash in the air finally dissolved enough to where their eyes could meet.

In that moment, there was only silence.

Beast was so choked up from the smoke that she couldn't cry for help anymore.

There have been many times in his life where Sebastian could stare someone straight in the face and watch them die a slow, painful death and not feel the slightest thing.

This time was different.

He felt a certain pain in his chest that he couldn't really recognize.

"You don't need to say anything more." He told Beast very directly. He put his gloved white hand on her mouth to cover it from the smoke.

He jammed his foot into the cracked hole in the wall where her prosthetic knee cap was caught.

His force was so intense that the wall was able to crumble into thousands of pieces.

Sebastian quickly yanked Beast away to avoid the landslide, pulling her torso closely towards his.

He looked her dead straight in the eyes, "You're coming with me." She gave a sharp nod—his hand was still covering her mouth.

He hoisted her onto his back, his arms carrying her legs like one would give someone a piggy-back ride. Her prosthetic leg was mangled inside of his left arm.

Sebastian began to leap his way out of the burning building, nearly hopping off of different destroyed objects to avoid touching the scalding ground. At one point he lept over one of the cages that an abducted child was sacrificed upon.

They finally made it out of the building. Using brute force, he kicked down the entryway and got outside. Ciel was still standing in the same position.

"You put yourself in danger for THAT rag doll? I would expect a butler to have more common sense than that." Ciel exclaimed angrily. He had absolute contempt for anything that would hinder their work, or worse, go against the Queen's wishes.

"We have unfinished business." Sebastian said sharply.

Beast was confused—unfinished business? They had a one-night stand and thought that was the end of it.

Ciel was completely frustrated. "Never mind that now, let's get back to the manor before anyone finds us."

The trio hopped inside of a horse carriage. Sebastian had Beast's arm wrapped around his shoulder, her head resting gently on the edge of his tuxedo jacket. For a moment, she looked almost angelic with her butterfly eyes closed. Her choking had ceased and she was breathing normally again. She fell fast asleep.

Ciel sat across from the two inside the carriage. He anxiously looked back and forth outside the window to ensure that they weren't being followed.

They finally arrived at the Phantomhive manor. The rest of the servants were already sound asleep so they made sure to enter as discreetly as they could.

Sebastian carried Beast to one of their spare guest rooms inside of the mansion. Already in a dreamy slumber, he was careful to lay her body on the bed in a way that wouldn't wake her. He grabbed a towel from the bathroom to wipe the soot and ash off her body, focusing mainly on her face. He was delicate around her eyes and lashes.

He couldn't help but admire how beautiful she was—her pale skin, voluminous hair, and bodacious figure—flashbacks to their first night together ignited in his memory.

Although Sebastian's lusting appetite was in full force, he couldn't bring himself to do anything in that instant—not while she was sleeping.

Frustrated, he gave a heavy sigh. He stood up, blew out the flame from the candle stick, and started towards the door. He gently walked on his heels so his shoes wouldn't squeak.

As he was about to close the door, Sebastian glanced back at Beast one last time before he headed to his own bed. He checked to make sure she was still asleep.

After a solid minute of silence, he whispered "Goodnight, my lady," and started up the stairs to his room.

There was a lot to discuss the next morning.

•••

Rays of sunlight creeped through the window of the guest room the next morning. One ray hit Beast's eyelashes in a way that made them sparkle. Her eyelids came apart. As she awoke, the realization that she was in an unfamiliar place hit her all at once. She sat up immediately and went into complete shock.

She gasped, then screamed "Where the bloody hell am I? WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE NOAH'S ARK'S PERFORMERS?!"

Beast urgently stood up and frantically started searching around the guest room to find any indication of where she was. "The performance was only yesterday, I should still be at the circus!" She began talking to herself.

Behind her were footsteps coming down the stairs. Sebastian was about to prepare breakfast that morning.

"You!" She exclaimed.

"I didn't think you'd be up so soon, you were a total wreck last night." Sebastian let out a chuckle. He had a teapot in his right hand.

"I need answers! Why am I here? Where are the rest of the Noah's Ark Circus performers? Why is my leg all twisted? Did you do something to me last night?!" Beast was completely deranged.

Sebastian was offended by her remarks, gave a heavy sigh and said "No, I wouldn't make advances on you like that while unconscious. It wouldn't be right. I apologize if I was too brash on our first night together. The other Noah's Ark performers were killed in a tragic fire last night along with the missing children. Your prosthetic leg is twisted because it was stuck inside of a wall in the burning mansion. I rescued you and brought you here so you could make it out alive."

Beast blinked hard. Somehow, through all of the chaos, this eluded her memory.

"Let's not linger on this right now. Come downstairs, I'm preparing brunch for the entire manor. After we're finished I could show you around if you'd like." Sebastian always had a suave way of changing the subject if the situation called for it.

Beast took a deep breath, collected herself and followed Sebastian downstairs to the living room. She didn't have the energy to argue in that moment.

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Sebastian told Beast to pick any seat she preferred. He began preparing the morning meal while they waited for the rest of the other servants to arise. They were having earl grey tea, eggs benedict, and fresh fruit for brunch at noon.

Ciel was the first of the other residents to come downstairs to join them. He was still in his sleepwear.

"My loyal butler, doing what he does best." Ciel looked at Sebastian and grinned—he always knew what he wanted for breakfast.

At the corner of his eye, Ciel noticed Beast sipping on some tea. He did his best to act polite, but still felt annoyed by her presence.

"What do you think of Phantomhive manor so far?" He wanted to break the awkward silence and try to be civil.

Beast looked up from her tea and took a great long glance at everything that was around her—the grandiose size of the lobby, the ornate Victorian decor, and the decadent food they were eating—it was nothing she had experienced before now.

"It's all quite lovely indeed. Thank you for the food and providing me a safe place to stay." Beast was starting to calm down and felt more appreciative than she did when she first woke up.

The other Phantomhive residents made their way downstairs and seated themselves accordingly. Mey-Rin and Lizzie introduced themselves and made her feel welcome. Sebastian finished pouring tea in everyone's cups.

"Good day everyone, we have a special guest with us today. Her name is Beast." Sebastian announced.

Everyone at the table turned themselves towards Beast and said "Good Morning" all at once.

For the first time in her life, she was in a place where she felt genuinely welcome and respected.

Sebastian finished the last two bites of his eggs benedict and washed it down with some tea. He stood up and started walking towards where Beast was sitting. The other Phantomhive residents stopped everything they were doing and stared at him, completely perplexed. Even Ciel was confused.

"Say, Beast, you're quite charming and talented. You'd make an excellent greeter and a very attractive maid. How would you like to work for the mansion? You'll always have a comfortable place to sleep, plenty of food, a paycheck every week, and PLENTY of company." Sebastian gave a hard wink and a seductive smile at the end of his sentence.

Everyone averted their gaze to Beast.

She blushed madly, her cheeks turned crimson.

"I mean—I'm very flattered, and now that the circus is gone I'm not sure what else I would do… Do you really think I could do it?"

Sebastian snickered "If you can handle making it out of a flaming circus then I'm sure working as a maid would be a piece of cake."

Beast giggled, "You really are one devil of a butler."

"Why don't we have a glass of wine and discuss it some more this evening. I have a brand new bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon we could try." He cordially suggested.

"That's very generous, are you certain?"

"Yes, my lady." Sebastian concluded.

Ciel rolled his eyes and finished his breakfast.

Looks like there was going to be some competition in the Phantomhive household.

•••