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[natsuzoku]

55; “I’M NOT LETTING YOU DO THIS ALONE”

“well, this seems alright,” you mumbled to yourself after sitting down on the bed in what now would be your room.

the room was about as big as the one in the hospital’s palliative ward, with beige and one brown colored wall and a few pieces of furniture. it even had a big window and a small balcony to stand on.

“not too bad, huh?,” aran said, putting down your luggage.

he turned to the door, exchanging a few words with the black haired nurse that had greeted you — and as you were told, was also the one who would tend to you. the man informed your best friend of the next steps, his eyes often wandering to you before leaving the two of you to settle in for the next minutes.

you nodded along absentmindedly, not really paying attention to your best friend.

clenching your jaw for a short moment, you looked down at your hands, both placed in your lap, fingers twiddling.

“hey” the mattress dipped beside you as aran sat down. “it’ll be okay,” he said slowly, carefully, after waiting a couple seconds to figure out what to actually say.

you cracked a weak smile, still not looking at him.

a part of you wanted to agree with him, even if you weren’t even sure what ‘it’ actually meant. after all, it couldn’t get much worse than that, could it?

you knew that this must be hard on him too — aran has been your best friend for practically your entire life, obviously he’d be devastated too. and as his best friend your first instinct was to comfort him too, just like he tried with you.

but you couldn’t. what would you even say?

‘it’ll get better’ — that sounded stupid.

‘i’m sure it’ll work out’ — yeah, as if.

‘i’ll be healthy again’ — as if you were ever healthy to begin with.

as if you ever had the same chance at a long life as him, iwaizumi or any of your friends.

but you knew that, didn’t you? ending up here was inevitable, wasn’t it? so why were you so beat up over it?

although, a little more time would’ve been all you needed. a warning, a message, a hint, anything for you to know just how fast you would end up here and how quickly your illness caught up with you.

something to help you come to terms with it. something to prepare you.

and also something to prepare the ones closest to you.

you could still feel aran’s eyes on you, waiting, but not pressuring you to reply. so after a while, your mind still wiped clean of any words you once knew, you could only bring yourself to shrug.

“this is… odd,” you finally said, “i don’t really know what to feel”

“i know,” aran replied slowly, letting out a breathy laugh before he went on. “at least we know you’re still sane”

throwing a quick glance at him, you shook your head, not being able to stop your mouth from curling up. “i guess so”

after a few more moments of silence, aran reached out, putting his hand on yours. “listen, you’re not on your own, okay? i’m not letting you do this alone”

you looked at his hand, fondly remembering how this was something the two of you had done ever since you were little. it was a simple gesture, small and almost insignificant, but to you it meant unconditional support, friendship and trust.

“we’re not letting you do this alone,” he continued, “you got all of us and we’re here for you”

aran could sigh relieved as you finally lifted your head up, directly looking at him. your eyes were teary and your lips were dry and trembling slightly as you nodded weakly.

he immediately pulled you close to him, wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a warm hug. “we got you,” he whispered, “i promise”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[natsuzoku]

SAKUSA swiped his thumb over the album, eyebrows furrowing as he saw how the dust clung to his skin, leaving behind a clean trail on the cover. he couldn’t believe he let it get so dirty. there was a time where he picked it up practically daily — mostly because you insisted on it — and looked through it, a slight smile appearing on his face as he did so.

but now you weren’t here anymore. there was no one to force him to look at the pictures, reliving year-old memories. honestly speaking, he completely forgot about it until today, when he decided to finally clean out your night table.

although right now, he wished he hadn’t done that.

his fingers trembled slightly as he opened the album, immediately being greeted by your handwriting and a picture of the two of you on your first anniversary.

you had gifted him this album one day, writing a long letter on the first page of the album. back when you were together, sakusa loved to pick up the album (mostly when you weren’t looking) and read it, his heart warming with every word. but today, he hurriedly turned the page.

his heart grew heavier with every photo he looked at, remembering every second of your relationship and reliving every little memory that you made.

you looked so happy, just like he did. you were so happy together.

and now you were gone.

he continued looking through the album, the sad smile on his face slowly disappearing, making room for a deep frown.

he shouldn’t be doing this. he shouldn’t be looking at your old pictures, reminiscing about the past — times that were long gone, destined to never return.

after all, you left him. and here he was, longingly gazing at pictures of you, like you were just gone for a business trip or a holiday. like you would open the door to his apartment in any second, greeting him with your warm smile and in a cheery voice before you would fall into his arms and kiss him so lovingly.

but these times were over, and they have been over for a long time. he hasn’t been so happy like he was in a long time. not since you left him.

for a moment he clenched his eyes shut, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths.

he should just throw that away, just like he wanted to get rid of literally everything that you had left in the drawer. a bracelet you had bought that matched his, a few hastily written notes with a few reminders. a pack of painkillers that you got because you knew he was prone to migraines.

and even though it has been so long, he found himself unable to do just that. he clung to these remnants of you, of what you used to have, like a child, unwilling to leave their stuffed animal and carrying it around with them.

he knew it was irrational to hang onto the album. he could never go back to those days, he could never relive those moments, he could never be with you anymore.

it was over. and now these pictures were only fading memories to him, a reminder of a past time that he would never be able to go back to, happy moments he would never get to relive.

you were a fading memory.

slamming the photo book shut, he clenched his jaw, rapidly throwing it back into the still open drawer on the nightstand, before also it shutting it, telling himself to forget about it.

nothing more.

but if you were really nothing more, if you really didn’t mean anything to him anymore, why was he still clinging to the last pieces that you had left behind?

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[natsuzoku]

i don’t see enough of this on tumblr but it’s ok to have a great relationship with your family. i love going home. i love going to the grocery store with my dad on a saturday morning. i love driving aimlessly with my sister. i love calling my mom after work. i love waking up in my childhood bed. i love making pancakes while everyone is asleep. i love sending memes to the family group chat and having to mansplain them to my parents. i love watching hallmark movies together. i love surprising them with little gifts and treats. i love calling my parents when i have good news. i love my dads cryptic texts. i love having 5 hour phone calls with my sister. i love asking my mom how to get rid of stains. i love it.

[natsuzoku]

i have been well omg i missed you so much

I'm so happy to hear you've been well! I missed you even more 🥺

[natsuzoku]

HELLO MY LOVE

Hello, my darling.

How have you been, my sweet?

[natsuzoku]

I replied to your message in my head several days ago did you not get it

[natsuzoku]

HAIKYUU CHARACTERS WHEN YOU‘RE SICK

a/n: hello flu season, you make me write purely self-indulgent shit because i turn into a needy child when i‘m sick

warnings: mentions of meds. one f-bomb.

jjk version

SUNA RINTAROU: can’t help but tease you for it

“i told you to put on a jacket and dry your hair before you go out,” he muttered amused as he watched you huddle into the living room, wrapped into your thick blanket. you rolled your eyes at him, to which he immediately held up his hands. “don’t look at me like that, you know i’m right” you couldn’t help but pout at him, whispering curses annoyed. “you know damn well that that’s not how viruses work,” you grumbled. “then why are you sick now?” he retorted, smiling. “fuck you” you turned around to go back into the bedroom. “oh, come here you big baby” your boyfriend opened his arms and gestured you to come closer, offering to cuddle with you. “i hate you sometimes,” you muttered under your breath as you walked up to him, falling into his arms and laying your head on his chest. “i love you too”

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI: decks you in with every remedy he can get his hands on

he looked at all the meds on the table after carefully reciting the benefits of each one word-by-word, remembering everything the pharmacist had told him. “are you sure you got everything you need? i can run out to the pharmacy again, it’s not a problem,” he offered after a short pause. you let out a quiet laugh, nodding confidently. “i’m sure i’ll be fine, ‘toshi. promise,” you stated, reaching out to grab his hand. “okay” admittedly, it was adorable just how overboard he went the second he heard you sneeze. you probably just caught the flu somewhere, nothing that couldn’t be cured with rest and maybe a few meds. when you texted your boyfriend, asking him to pick some up for you, you surely didn’t expect him to enter your home with the whole pharmacy in his bag. you grinned, your heart warming at his silly, but incredibly caring gesture. “what are you laughing at?” he asked confused. “nothing,” you assured him quickly, giving his cheek a peck before leaning into him and his warmth. “i’m just happy you’re here with me”

KITA SHINSUKE: keeps a respectable distance but doesn’t fail to make you feel cared for

following a soft knock, the door to your dim bedroom was opened with your boyfriend stepping into the room. “i made you some tea” he spoke softly as he put the mug down on the small table next to you. he proceeded to quickly feel your forehead, nodding when he realizes that your temperature has gone down. “and some soup is currently cooking on the stove, i’m gonna bring you a bowl later” he smiled softly at you, giving your forehead a peck. “i’ll be in the living room, yeah?” he turned to leave, making sure to not close the door behind him. he then turned around and took another look at you. “the door’s open, love, so just say the word and i’ll be here, no need to strain your voice” you smiled weakly at him. “thank you” he nodded. “i love you,” he whispered to you. “i love you too,” you replied. he turned to leave, but stopped when you called out to him again. he hummed, waiting for you to continue. “can i get a hug? just a quick one,” you mumbled, almost sounding shy, “please” he smiled, immediately making his way over to you. “you don’t have to ask, anything you want”

HINATA SHOYO: latches himself onto you and ends up getting sick too

you groaned, trying to push him off you, but finishing yourself too weak to actually do so. his head was buried in the crook of your neck with his arms wrapped tightly secured around you, not wanting to let you go. you sighed in defeat. “shoyo, i love you, but you’re gonna get sick of you keep doing this” “nuh-uh” he denied, shaking his head, his hair tickling your skin. “yes you will,” you insisted, your hands however finding their way on his back, softly running your nails over it. he kept denying it however and soon after you couldn’t find the energy to keep arguing with him — and you really didn’t want him to leave (not like you’d tell him and give him an actual reason to stay). and just about two weeks later, you’d be the one tending to him, not failing to tease him about his sickness. it didn’t matter to him though, he’d get sick a thousand times over if it meant he could stay close to you.

KUROO TETSUROU: loves to berate you but will drop everything to take care of you

he groaned when he saw you in his field of vision, raising his eyebrows at you with hands stemmed into his hips. “i told you to stay under the covers” he shook his head, pointing into the direction of your bedroom and motioning you towards it. “back under the blanket, come on” you whined. “it’s too hot, tetsurou, i’m sweating” you shivered as you spoke, your arms wrapping around your midsection. honestly, you just needed to see some things that weren’t the walls or the ceiling of your room. you’d take anything at this point. “that’s the point! you need to sweat it out!” he claimed, gesturing with his hands. “can i at least take a shower first? or just get changed? i feel disgusting, my clothes are literally drenched in sweat,” you spoke after sighing in defeat. there was no point in arguing with him, especially when you knew that he was right. “hop into the bathroom, i’ll get you some new pajamas”

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[natsuzoku]

52; HELPLESS

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[natsuzoku]

AUTOPHOBIA - DABI

warnings: mentions of murder. non graphic injuries. swearing. 2.5k+ words.

angstober event

dabi walked around the now completely destroyed district, half-heartedly kicking a small rock in front of him. with his hands stuffed in his pocket, he looked oddly calm and collected, the only signs of the past battle being the sweat that glued his hair to his forehead and the dirt stuck on his entire body.

he sighed, gazing at the horizon for a quick second before taking a turn and continuing in a different direction. slowly speeding up, he quickly glanced at every body he came across, only to keep walking as soon as he saw the person’s face.

surely you had to be here somewhere. you were an extremely resilient person and also very capable at keeping yourself alive, no matter what. your entire life you had tried to keep yourself alive, somehow managing to beat the odds, no matter how bad the situation got.

so you definitely were here somewhere.

but where could you be?

dabi rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue, pushing away the uncomfortable thoughts that crept up on him.

you couldn’t be gone. he saw you here somewhere and you were fine, he told himself. and you certainly weren’t dumb enough to fall into the hands of some young hero.

you were better than that.

so you were definitely here somewhere. hiding?

were you seriously trying to pull a prank on him in times like this?

dabi didn’t know for how long he had been walking around, but slowly the surroundings, despite being completely destroyed, became familiar again.

furrowing his eyebrows, he tried to remember the last time he saw you, before his steps sped up again, quickly carrying him through the debris, before he caught a glimpse of a familiar sweater.

before he could even blink he was kneeling down beside a pile stones, stones which once had been a wall, and dragged them off, carelessly throwing them to the side to reveal a familiar body, clothed in the aforementioned dirty sweater.

his eyes quickly examined the state you were in, taking notice of the completely disheveled hair, the ash sticking to your skin and the wounds littered across your body. the blood was dry, leaving behind sharp crusts over the broken pieces of skin.

no, that couldn’t be right. that couldn’t be you. you never got severely injured, not once. you were careful, stealthy.

you never got caught. you never got hurt.

dabi clicked his tongue, leaning back a little. “honestly, you almost had me fooled,” he stated with raised eyebrows. you surely were convincing, barely even moving a muscle. he looked over to the rubble he just removed from your body. “did you plant the debris on top of you? i doubt that young hero was strong enough to cause that” looking back at you, he shook his head. you surely had some weird ideas. “you could’ve killed yourself, you know? and for what? just to scare me?”

you always liked to provoke him just enough to get a rise out of him, no matter how. you enjoyed seeing him all riled up, completely contradicting his usual apathetic self. you liked to coerce him out of his stoic shell, grinning at him whenever you reminded him that he could indeed feel things.

that he felt things for you.

“prove a point?”

he groaned in frustration when he realized that you still weren’t moving a muscle, seemingly very into the whole act.

“stop this shit” he demanded, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “get up”

turning his head to the side, he examined the surroundings. for now you were safe, alone, no one here besides the two of you and some bodies scattered around. injured or dead, dabi couldn’t care less.

he turned back to you, sighing. “we have to leave before some shitty heroes show up to look for survivors” a sinister grin appeared on his face for a short while, remembering the havoc the by now big league of villains had caused earlier. so much destruction and death.

hurting them right at their weak spots.

“i doubt there’s any though”

by now he would’ve expected you to open your eyes, maybe even give him a lecture on how he was unnecessarily cruel. and he would agree with you, that sure, maybe he was, but he also believed that everyone deserved what was coming for them for supporting a system built on shutting out everyone who seemed like they didn’t fit. kicking away everybody that wasn’t perfect enough.

and then you’d get quiet, not wanting to openly agree with him.

“hey, are you even listening” he flicked your forehead, expecting some sort of reaction again, only to be met with nothing. what were you trying to pull here? “it’s not funny. stop playing the damsel in distress”

he clenched his jaw tightly. “seriously”

and still nothing. you laid there, unresponsive, eyes still closed shut, like he wasn’t even here. did you even hear him?

“you’re not funny, you know” he shook his head, mouth forming a slight smile at the idea that just came him. surely that would get you to react. “i could just leave you here when the heroes show up. maybe that would teach you a lesson”

you were infamous for escaping the heroes every single time, even back when they first caught eyes on you. nobody really knew how, but somehow, even during your days as a lowly criminal, they were lucky to even get some cctv footage of you.

they surely would be stunned finding you here. a free trophy to be taken, an infamous villain served on a silver platter.

that would certainly make for some great headlines in the news.

“hey,“ dabi called out again, reaching out to shake you by your shoulder. your skin was cold, colder than he expected. a frown etched itself onto his face.

he shook his head. no, it were probably his hands that were still a little heated, not having fully cooled down yet. that must be it.

you’ve never been cold like that.

he groaned in annoyance, balling his hands into a fist. “the gig is up, get up now,“ he demanded sternly.

and still, nothing.

“seriously, it’s not fucking funny anymore”

he furrowed his eyebrows, cursing under his breath. there was no way you could be that committed to the act. what could even be worth it? you never had it out for him like that before, no matter what happened.

gnawing on his lower lip, a few images flashed in his mind.

of him, fighting some hero that he didn’t know the name of, dodging his attacks while cursing him out loudly, shooting flames at him.

a familiar, yet distant voice calling out to him, which he promptly ignored, too busy with the situation at hand.

a loud bang, immediately being followed by something — someone — throwing themselves at him.

his body being flung away, looking at your form in shock as you were hit by something.

a quirk.

“are you trying to teach me a lesson or something,“ dabi asked, rolling his eyes at you again. he shrugged. “it’s not my fault you took that blow earlier”

you threw yourself at him after all. “besides, it wasn’t that hard, so get over yourself”

and dabi retaliated. just a few moments later he hit whoever it was that had hit you, leaving behind a charred body.

“the lousy hero is dead anyways. we’re even”

and yet you still wouldn’t move.

were you really trying to teach him a lesson? right now?

dabi would rather have you give him an hour long lecture about awareness as soon as you were back in the hideout than be stuck here right now, on his knees next to your still and hurt body.

“are you deaf? i said get up,“ he raised his voice at you now, reaching out to shake you again. “hey”

the villain grew impatient, clearly bothered by your lack of response.

didn’t you hear him?

“come on, move,“ he barked again, feeling the anger rise in him. were you seriously just ignoring him like that? was your lesson so much more important than letting him know that you were okay?

were you really that cruel to him?

didn’t you love him? you said you did.

“don’t act like you can’t hear me,” he snarled angrily.

get up. wake up. open your fucking eyes.

“hey”

do anything but don’t just lay here like you were dead.

“stop,“ he whispered, digging his own nails into his palm.

do anything but what you were doing now. please.

you couldn’t do this to him.

“come on”

why couldn’t you just listen to him?

“hey,” he tried again, his voice a little softer. despite that, you still didn’t show any signs, leaving him to grow more frustrated again. “i said get up,” he snapped.

nothing.

“fuck, listen to me,“ he demanded, exhaling a shaky breath. “hey!”

nothing.

“get the fuck up”

nothing.

“open your fucking eyes,” he demanded loudly again, practically digging his fingers into your skin, leaving behind red marks. “i said open them!”

and yet you didn’t.

nothing.

“fuck this,“ he cursed out, letting go of you and rising to his feet.

“i’m going to fucking leave you here, what then, huh?” he spat, clenching his teeth together tightly. he flexed and relaxed his hands repeatedly at his side. “what are you going to fucking do then?”

come on. move.

“going to let one of these dumb heroes find you,” dabi continued, by now practically hissing at your unresponsive self. he turned away for a second before looking down at you again. “and who knows what they’re going to do to you then”

capture you. interrogate you. lock you up, never to see the light of day again.

come on, wake up.

would you really allow him to talk to you like that? so dismissive, so cruel?

and yet you laid still.

“hey! i’m talking to you!”

you were never that quiet. you never ignored him.

he fell onto his knees again, reaching out to shake your body one last time. “don’t do this, don’t fucking do this,” he clenched out between his teeth, hunching forward and putting his forehead on your arm.

he took a deep breath before straightening his back. “alright, fine,” he muttered defeated, “you won, doll. you scared the shit out of me, okay? now get the fuck up so we can fucking leave”

he pulled your body into his lap, fingers running over the wounds on your arms.

“get up!” nothing. “i said get up!”

“fuck, come on, stop playing, this isn’t funny,“ dabi commanded, a slight tremble in his voice.

with trembling fingers he reached out, pressing them slightly onto your neck.

“give me something, anything,“ he begged, “please, you can’t do this to me, please”

he felt a huge weight lifting off his shoulders when his fingers finally felt the blood pumping through your veins faintly.

you were still here.

but why weren’t you waking up?

“open your eyes,” he gulped again, “i said open your fucking eyes”

another flash of images appeared in his mind.

your body flying a few meters after being hit. you, hissing and groaning in pain as you tried to lift yourself onto your feet again. you, clutching your side with a pained expression, locking eyes with him for a second before you turned around and assumed a fighting stance.

that couldn’t be true.

you were fine.

you had to be fine.

you were always fine.

“come on, i know you can hear me,“ he whispered to you, begging. you why couldn’t you just answer him?

you were still here, you were alive, weren’t you?

he shook your shoulders again slightly, his own hands trembling. “wake up. i said wake up!”

his voice broke as he continued to chant at you. “i’m telling you to wake up, damn it!”

he hunched over your body again, arms clumsily pressing you close to his chest, rocking your bodies back and forth.

“please,” he whispered with a broken voice, “please, doll. i’m sorry for yelling at you, okay? now can you please open your eyes? for me, yeah?”

nothing.

dabi swallowed harshly, blinking rapidly as he continued rocking the two of you, whispering to you.

nothing.

he hates this. he hated how you were so still and unresponsive, he hated how he was shaking whenever he brushed his hand over your arm, trying to warm you cool skin, he hated how his entire body was trembling.

he hated how he felt so weak, so useless, like a small child, unable to stand up for himself and unable to help the people close to him.

unable to help the person he loved.

nothing.

“you can’t do this,” he whined angrily, miserably failing in suppressing the rage in his voice, “don’t fucking do this!”

you couldn’t leave him. you promised not to leave him.

“don’t leave me, come on”

he clutched you even closer to him, his own heart beating rapidly against his chest.

“i know you can hear me,” dabi claimed shakily, forcing a smile on his fear-stricken face as he caressed your cheek with two fingers. “i’ll forgive you for this shit, i promise i won’t be mad, just wake up now, yeah?”

nothing.

“go ahead, open your eyes,” he encouraged you again, his voice uncharacteristically high-pitched.

nothing.

why didn’t you listen to him? you said you’d listen to him.

“i said open your eyes!” dabi demanded loudly, immediately clutching you close again.

he felt his chest constrict as he leaned over you, pressing a kiss on your ashen forehead.

nothing.

you couldn’t leave him. not here, not like this.

“you can’t do this to me!” he cried out, “please, please, please”

while softly running his fingers over your face he dug his teeth into his lower lip again, breaking the skin on it in the process. “stay with me, yeah? stay right here with me! you have to wake up!”

nothing.

“don’t leave me please,” the villain begged, pressing another kiss on your face. “i need you, doll”

nothing.

“you can’t go,” he whimpered, his body and breath trembling, “don’t go where i can’t follow, please”

you couldn’t leave, not like this.

he still wanted you, he still needed you, he loved you.

you were all he had left, all he loved, all that kept him breathing every day.

“i love you, please,” he confessed, feeling his eyes burn again, “please wake up”

you couldn’t just leave him like that, you couldn’t.

and yet you didn’t move an inch.

“okay, okay, i get it. not here. that’s okay,” he whispered, not even sure if you were able to hear him at this point. but he knew that he had to get you away from here, quickly. it couldn’t be much longer till the police would arrive with rescue heroes in tow. you had to leave. “i’m going to carry you, okay?” carefully he reached underneath your knees with one arm, pulling them close to himself, before grabbing you with his other arm.

he pulled you close, continuing to whisper to you. “we’ll be back at the hideout in no time and then you can open your eyes yeah? you’ll be safe and then you can wake up”

he had a weak smile on his face, his eyes burning as he looked at your frail face. you looked so pale, so unnaturally pale. “that sounds like a good deal, yeah?”

nothing.

“okay” he muttered, before turning to you again. “up we go, yeah?” he warned, lifting you into his arms and standing up shortly after.

“i’m going to hold you tight, yeah? just hang in there with me, doll. i got you”

and with you safely secured in his arms he ran off, disappearing behind broken buildings.

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[natsuzoku]

51; TRANSFERRED

shocked, iwaizumi stumbled a couple of steps back, barely managing to catch himself before losing his balance completely.

surely he must have misheard.

with furrowed eyebrows, he stared down at the floor, flexing and relaxing his free hand at his side, the other one clutching the paper bag in it tightly.

they probably didn’t mean you. there was probably another patient by the same name in this ward too and surely they talked about them.

not you.

he tried to reason with himself, shaking his head slowly as he gathered his thoughts.

surely that was just a mistake.

he swallowed before taking a deep breath.

and if it wasn’t, you‘d tell him and you would figure it out together, just like you always assured each other you would.

as he tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling, he quickly hurried forward, now feeling more desperate than ever to see your face.

iwaizumi had to remind himself that you would be alright.

taking another deep breath, he knocked on the door to your room, entering shortly after when he heard you call out.

as soon as he saw you, a smile spread on his lips. “hello, pretty,” he greeted you, pressing a kiss on your temple before backing off and raising the paper bag clutched in his hand up. “care for some fries?”

“god i love you,” you exclaimed, not being able to stop yourself as you extended your arm towards it.

iwaizumi chuckled when he passed the bag on to you. “i can get used to you greeting me like that”

“oh shut up,“ you mumbled and rolled your eyes, immediately opening the bag and taking out a couple of fries. iwaizumi opted to finally sit down beside you.

crispy, salty, unhealthy. how you had missed fast food.

for a while the two of you just sat there, silently enjoying the fried potatoes. after you were done, you threw the bag into the trash and mindlessly chatted away with your boyfriend.

what you didn’t know however, was how his thoughts were running in his mind.

you looked okay to him. exhausted and certainly not healthy, but not particularly worse. maybe he did understand the nurses wrong earlier. it couldn’t be that bad, could it?

he knew that pondering would get him nowhere, especially since it seemed like you weren’t going to address it. iwaizumi wanted to take this as confirmation that he was wrong, that you were fine, that you were going to be fine.

but he had to be sure.

“how are you feeling?” he carefully asked, turning his head slightly to observe you.

you simply shrugged a little, your expression changing a little. the smile in you face got washed away, your eyebrows furrowing a little for a split second — long enough for iwaizumi to notice. “fine”

you didn’t even have to glance at him to notice his stern expression. he clearly didn’t believe you, and honestly, you wouldn’t either. “okay, no, i’m not,” you sighed, pressing your lips to a thin line. “i mean what do you expect, i got pneumonia for the n-th time again at this point you’d think i’d at least get some variety,” you tried to joke halfheartedly.

iwaizumi hated the look on your face these past weeks. whenever you thought he didn’t look, and even in times you knew he looked, you looked so defeated. sad, almost hopeless. and he could only sit there, try to be there for you as best as possible, while you practically withered away. he leaned over to you, hands engulfing yours. “love—“

you however immediately shot down his attempt. “can we not talk? please,” you asked him in a rather timid tone, “i just… i just want to cuddle a little, if that’s alright”

“sure” you made some space for him on your bed and were immediately in your boyfriends arms, your head laying on his chest as you listened to his heartbeat.

you loved moments like these. no conversation, no forced smiles, no guilt for being stuck here, forced to stay in the palliative ward when you used to go out so much and have fun outside together.

this was simply you and him, enjoying each others company, listening to your heartbeat, his warmth making you feel safe and sound.

however, not even the calm look on your relaxed face could help to calm iwaizumi’s mind. it plagued him too much, his worry overtaking everything else.

“hey, can i ask you something?” he decided to try again, fingers absentmindedly caressing your skin. “it’s a bit heavy and honestly, i’m not sure if you want to answer”

you glanced up at him for a moment, waiting for him to continue, before you turned your gaze downwards again, beginning to trace his tattoos.

he clenched his jaw for a moment. “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting transferred?”

your fingers stopped, hovering over his skin. “what do you mean?” you tried to fake ignorance, hoping that you somehow misheard what he said.

“hospice,” iwaizumi clarified, sounding defeated himself. “look, i overheard some nurses talking, okay? i know”

opening and closing your mouth for a couple of times, you found yourself unable to say anything.

hospice.

he knew? he heard? what were you supposed to say?

hospice.

everything was moving so fast, you felt like you couldn’t keep up with it.

and now he knew too?

what were you even supposed to do? you hadn’t processed the news yourself yet, even though it has been days since you‘ve been told.

“love, talk to me,” he whispered desperately, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers. “tell me what’s going on in your head. we can figure this out together, i promise. we‘ll be okay”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[natsuzoku]

50; SPECIAL

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[natsuzoku]

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES | A JJK SMAU SERIES

SUMMARY. you hate gojo and gojo hates you. so what happens when you‘re forced to interact with him more often than you‘d like?

PAIRING. gojo satoru x reader

GENRE. childhood friends to lovers. enemies to lovers. forced proximity.

WARNINGS. college!au. no cursed techniques!au. suggestive language and swearing. allusions to sex and drinking. gojo is an ass. more to be added !

SCHEDULE. none yet

TAGLIST. open, send an ask or comment to be added — blog rules apply

DISCLAIMER. afab!reader but they/them pronouns. pictures used are not mine and there for inspiration only. jjk characters belong to gege.

INTRODUCTIONS.

(name)‘s group || gojo‘s group

CHAPTERS.

o1 - oh fuck no || o2 - lmao sucks to be you || o3 - the roommate agreement

more tba !

STATUS. in development — coming soon !

reblogs and comments are appreciated !

[natsuzoku]

JJK CHARACTERS AND THE TYPE OF CHILD CARE WORKER THEY WOULD BE

a/n: i saw one post about job aus and here i am now. toji is ooc but i don’t really care, that’s what aus are for

ITADORI YUUJI: the kids‘ favorite

the kids love him. he‘s always down to play with them, immediately immersing himself in the child’s world, no questions asked. his inner child comes out, happily going along with whatever the kids have planned. sometimes you‘re not sure if he has any kind of pedagogical intentions or if he simply loves to let out his inner child. however, whatever it was, it seemed to work.

FUSHIGURO TOJI: the questionable coworker

to be honest, no one really knows why he’s in this field of work. he certainly doesn’t seem like the type to work with kids and sometimes you don’t know if he likes his job in the first place. he’s brash and rough around the edges, definitely believing in ‘tough love’ and ‘fuck around and find out’. but sometimes, albeit very rarely, you can see the proud shimmer in his eyes when he watches a child attempt something for the n-th time — and finally succeeding on their own.

NANAMI KENTO: the firm, but warm one

he’s the professional one. there’s not one second in the day where he doesn’t take any aspect of his job seriously — from the obviously made up stories the kids tell, over parent meeting to the annoying but necessary clean-up after the kids ate. but that’s exactly what makes him so good at his job. he’s very knowledgeable about many aspects of a child’s development and always reflects upon his actions dutifully. everything to give children the best environment to thrive in.

YUUTA OKKOTSU: the carebear

he’s the one that’s always there when a child gets hurt. with his comforting and calm aura he always manages to help the kid calm down fast, offering them kind words of affirmation and a warm hug. sometimes they stay on his lap, not wanting to let go of him, still shaken by the situation. and he stays with them for as long as they need, offering his hand once they feel brave enough to go back to playing. no matter what, the kids know they can always count on yuuta, just like you.

GOJO SATORU: the gossip queen

sometimes you don’t know if he’s an adult or one of the children you‘re looking after. somehow he’s always up to date on the latest kids‘ gossip and drama — who played with who, x held hands with y even though they said they were a thing with z, and so on — and he was thriving on it, hitting you with the “you’ll never guess what i was just told!” practically daily. and while you were shaking your head whenever he approached you like this, you had to force yourself to stop smiling as he recounted the stories.

reblogs are appreciated

[natsuzoku]

49; THIS IS BORING

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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[natsuzoku]

ANGSTOBER ‘23

kinktober is right around the corner — but if you‘re like me, you don’t read (or write) a lot of smut. so let’s make it angsty, solely because we can

note: four fics for four weeks of october — one for every fandom i write for (haikyu!!, jujutsu kaisen, genshin impact and my hero academia). please read the warnings mentioned for every fic

WEEK ONE — VERDICT

FANDOM: genshin impact

PAIRING: neuvillette x reader

SUMMARY: for all your life you believed that the judicial system was infallible. that was until you were put in the dock and convicted.

WARNINGS: mentions of murder. swearing. more tba !

WEEK TWO — AUTOPHOBIA

FANDOM: my hero academia

PAIRING: dabi x reader

SUMMARY: deep down, he was a scared child, terrified to be alone. so what should he do when he’s about to lose you, the last person he had left, too?

WARNINGS: swearing. more tba !

WEEK THREE — ANAGAPESIS

FANDOM: haikyu!!

PAIRING: kita x reader

SUMMARY: falling out of love is hard — especially when it’s with somebody who everybody would consider to be “the perfect boyfriend”.

WARNINGS: break up. heartbreak. more tba !

WEEK FOUR — HONOURABLE MAN

FANDOM: jujutsu kaisen

PAIRING: nanami x reader

SUMMARY: nanami's resolve and honour were incredibly admirable, but now when you face off against him as foes, you wish that the strength of his character was on your side.

WARNINGS: swearing. more tba !

please reblog to spread the word!

©rishiguro 2023. do not copy, translate, share.

[natsuzoku]

BUSY THINKING ABOUT DAD!GOJO

a/n: i lied, i‘m not. i wanna feel something though, even if that is nausea

dad!gojo who cried the first time he held his child, completely overtaken by joy and love.

dad!gojo who loves to dress in matching outfits.

dad!gojo who is the proudest father imaginable, always showing his kid off to his friends, coworkers and students.

dad!gojo who at the same time is incredibly protective, trying his best to not let a word get out about them to the elders.

dad!gojo who is incredibly cuddly with them.

dad!gojo who gets jealous whenever his kid chooses to cuddle with their plushies over him.

dad!gojo who usually hates it whenever somebody touches his blindfold, but smiles warmly when his child runs their small hands over it, grabbing the fabric.

dad!gojo who makes funny faces whenever the blindfold falls off just to make them laugh.

dad!gojo who sings along louder to children’s shows and movies than his child.

dad!gojo who gets back and knee aches regularly after sitting at their tiny table during a tea party.

dad!gojo who practically drills it into his kid mind that they’re perfect just the way they are.

dad!gojo who tells them regularly that he loves them no matter what and no matter who they choose to be and what they want to do in life.

dad!gojo who gives his child the world before they can even ask.

dad!gojo who wants nothing more than to protect them and give them the childhood he never had — no matter the price

reblog to forget about the jjk 236 leaks

[natsuzoku]

47; “I’M SCARED”

“this doesn’t look so bad,” iwaizumi commented as he looked around the small room, “i’m almost tempted to say it looks comfortable”

“sure does,” you replied, rolling your eyes as you sat down on the bed again, gesturing him to sit down with you. “comfortable if you’re into these walls paired with these ugly orange-brownish curtains”

well, you certainly weren’t wrong. it wouldn’t have been his first choice either to combine these two colors together. he sat down next to you.

“it’s better than the blinding white ones though,” he remarked, shrugging slightly as he thought about the sterile rooms he spent way too much time in, “although i don’t know why anybody would choose this piss-yellow colour for the entire room”

you hummed und agreement, allowing your head to fall onto iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“i can’t even open the windows fully,” you mumbled.

you frowned as he chuckled, making your head bounce slightly on his shoulder. “i don’t think they would want you to escape” he softly pat your head before turning his and pressing a kiss on your scalp.

“why not? i would come back,“ you said.

your boyfriend could only huff, not being to stop his lips curling upwards slightly. “sure you would”

“totally. or i don’t know, maybe i’d just jump out” immediately as you finished the sentence, iwaizumi flicked your forehead. “hey!”

“idiot,” he mumbled.

“no need to get violent,” you muttered as you rubbed your forehead, “i couldn’t leave you anyways, you’d be lost without me” lifting your head you grinned at him.

rolling his eyes at you, he smiled in return and hummed in agreement. afterwards he put his arm around your waist and lowered his head, softly pecking your shoulder before laying his head down.

he didn’t want to imagine losing you.

and yet, as fleeting as the thought may have been, he felt his chest ache.

“you can’t just leave me behind,“ he agreed with a low voice, reaching out to grab your hand. immediately he started playing with your fingers.

“i’m not planning to,” you declared, “i love you”

“i love you too,” iwaizumi hummed.

he swallowed quickly before speaking again, still looking down at your hands. “not just me, you know. there’s a bunch of people that do”

you furrowed your eyebrows. “is everything alright?”

he sighed before sitting up, turning to face you directly. “to be honest, that’s what i wanted to ask you,” he confessed, now taking both of your hands in his, “are you sure you’re alright?”

you could only blink at him confused for a few moments, not really understanding the sudden change in atmosphere. did you give him any reason to worry even more than he already did?

obviously you weren’t doing good by any means.

you were practically being ripped out of the comfort of your home, the one thing that has been consistent no matter at what point in your life you were and not just transferred to a hospital but to the palliative ward no less.

medically speaking, you had to be tended to to maintain your quality of life because currently it was impossible for you to do it yourself. and if that wasn’t enough, it could very well last till the end of your life.

who knows when that would be here too. if it was a few years away or right around the corner.

you had always known that sooner or later your life would end. you also knew that your life would end earlier than most people’s. you told yourself that this was alright and frankly, after a while you started to believe it.

or so you thought.

and yet here you were now.

you clenched your jaw. “no,” you confessed, looking away, “i’m scared, hajime. everything is happening too fast and i feel like i don’t have the time to process anything before more shit is happening”

without saying anything, iwaizumi pulled you closer to him, wrapping his strong arms around you.

his embraced felt warm, comforting.

like it was everything you needed and even more.

well, almost.

“we’re here for you, love,” he whispered to you softly, “as long as you’ll have us, we’ll be there. i’m right here with you. and so will ojiro, kita, the twins and suna”

at the mention of your friends’ names your heart grew heavy and you couldn’t stop yourself from shaking your head.

“they don’t even know, hajime,” you confessed in a hushed tone, “i haven’t spoken to them in days. i just couldn’t” tears started to slowly swell up in your eyes, leading you to shutting them close.

you wanted to tell them. you really did. when you got the news, then when they came over to your place, completely unaware that you wouldn’t be there just a day later and then when you first stepped into this room. and every day after.

yet you didn’t.

“i know, love. it’s okay”

“it’s not,” you replied immediately, “it’s not, they’re my friends, fuck, aran is my best friend, i’ve known him my entire life, he’s always been there for me, and yet i couldn’t fucking tell him!”

after just a few moments of silence you felt like you could collapse in his arms, whispering into his shirt. “i don’t even know if i want to tell him. or them”

iwaizumi didn’t reply, instead simply adjusted his hold on you, pulling you into his lap and pressing you to his chest.

for a while, the two of you simply stayed like this. you let yourself be comforted by his embrace, feeling his heart pound i’m his chest against yours, and how his shoulder moved slowly, compared to the rapid rise and fall of yours.

“hajime, do you think i should?” you looked up at him and immediately met his warm eyes. when he didn’t answer, you called his name out again.

“i know they’re worried,” he finally said, his lips twitching. you averted his gaze in shame, clenching your jaw.

you never wanted them to worry. childishly, you had hoped that they wouldn’t worry and just carry on with their lives. maybe not go as far as forget about you, but at least distancing themselves enough from you so the pain of the inevitable wouldn’t hurt as much.

naturally, you knew better. but staying in that illusion felt so much more comfortable than confronting the truth.

“i’m not going to tell you what to do,” iwaizumi spoke again, still looking at you with the very same loving and understanding eyes, “but i know that they want to talk to you, whenever you’re ready to talk to them”

evanescent

/ɛvəˈnɛs(ə)nt,iːvəˈnɛs(ə)nt/ — “soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.”

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