natural-type

[natural-type]

aesthetic for a Haruhi Fujioka who’s questioning being trans and wants to tell their friends theyre a boy

~Mod Maou

[natural-type]

Self Indulgent Aesthetic - Haruhi Fujioka

(feel fee to reblog!!) 

[natural-type]

hey there, please call me haruhi!

i’m 18 years old and haruhi is my highest selfhood, i’ve kinned them since before i even knew what kinning was. i looked at them when i was 12 and decided that i just knew that was me!

i prefer no doubles just because i am a trans man and i know a lot of people use she/her for haruhi and it makes me incredibly dysphoric since haruhi is such a core part of my identity, but i’d never block any doubles or attack anyone and it’s totally cool to rb my posts if you’re a haruhi double! just maybe don’t dm me if you’re in a haruhi shift? i hope that’s reasonable

i was aromantic in my timeline or at the very least demi, i wasn’t interested in any of the boys like that, but they were my closest friends and i love each and every host with all of my heart platonically

i had pretty deep bonds with each of the boys, i’d like to believe they genuinely trusted me a lot and i remember deep conversations with each of them, here’s examples of the most prominent ones but obviously there was more

tamaki

- we talked about his identity issues, he kind of struggled for real about being a “lonely prince” after renge first showed up. he told me about how he felt like a bad person or like he was fake or phoney since he wasn’t in love with any of our clients. i reassured him that since he cares so much about everyone and how he really does make those girls feel loved he isn’t doing anything wrong and that the fact that he’s worried proves he’s a good person

kyoya

-we talked about his mental illness. he opened up to me about being on the adhd/autism spectrum and having struggles picking up on social cues. he was good at reading them logically, but not emotionally. he knew i was also on the spectrum (due to diving into my medical history behind my back) and asked me about how i was able to connect with others on an emotional level so well. we talked about it for a few hours and he ended up actively getting better at making people feel heard and cared for by him! it was a really good experience

honey senpai

-this one was rough so i won’t go into too much detail, but we talked about his childhood trauma, the expectations put on him, and things that were done to him. he explained to me that he acts so childish to cope with the stress of the real world and the future.. i love you senpai, i hope you’re doing well

mori senpai

-with mori it was surprising that we ended up having such a deep conversation, in all honesty it started because i needed advice and as my upperclassman i thought maybe he could help, and he did. i was stressed about school work and things getting even harder. yes i did test into the school as a commoner so of course i was smart, but i still struggled.. he was compassionate and told me about how hard it was for him to go through school while at the same time having so much pressure on his shoulders to be and act a certain way, he told me he might not understand what it was like to be a commoner, but he sympathized and told me about his struggles in a way to show me he understands in some way and that he made it that far and that i would too.. it was so nice

hikaru

- hikaru and i talked about his separation anxiety and the fear of isolation and change he has.. it was hard to get him to open up, it actually started because i did something to set him off and it upset him, but then he snapped into an angry rant of all his fears until he started crying and got all quiet.. i comforted him and encouraged him to tell me more, we talked for hours as he went on about all these crippling fears he had and how scared he was of being left behind by his friends.. hikaru and i were very close after that, it was so nice to hear him talk

kaoru

-he talked to me mostly about his fears for his brother and fears for the future because in his heart he knew he couldn’t always be by his brother’s side, but never wanted to make hikaru feel betrayed or abandoned.. he talked about his hopes and dreams and ambitions and how of course he always wanted his brother right by his side, he also knew he was going to need space and to form other close relationships and even intimate relationships one day and he was so scared of hurting hikaru.. he really is so selfless, i was very close with both the twins

i personally had a hard time opening up about my genuine feelings, i was nearly never outwardly emotional about my own struggles, but when i was my friends were very sweet

later on the boys learned that it isn’t just thunder that scares me, but also loud shouting, especially in an angry sense, they got into a fight once before opening hours of the club and i ended up crying.. i wasn’t even involved in the fight, it was just so loud and i was having a really hard morning already and i just cracked.. i hid in the dressing rooms while i calmed down, tamaki came to comfort me

tamaki and kyoya got together in their last year of high school, i’m so happy for them

honey and mori came to visit whenever they could after they graduated

the twins spent a lot of time with their younger sibling, they were so sweet

that’s all the major memories off the top of my head, but i’ll probably post more memories later!!