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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Eyes of Gold - Rumpelstiltskin AU

This fic is dedicated to anubis-005 who gave me such a precious fan comic for one of my other fics and now I’m blessed to think about it for the rest of my life.

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Nene paced the small room full of straw. Judging from the windows, the descent below was too deadly for her to escape.

Leave it to her father to lie about her ‘ability’ to spin straw into gold.

And leave it to luck to let the lie spread to nobility.

The king separated her from her father and filled a room with straw just for her. He threatened that if she didn’t have an entire room of gold, he would have her head by sunrise.

After seeing that there was no means of escape, she placed herself near the window where she cried underneath the moonlight. Her father was desperate to get money after their mill burned down. As much as Nene hated to lie, scamming a few people was the last resort. She had no idea that a quick scam to get something to eat would turn into a fight for her life.

So she cried and cried and cried till there was no more water in her body.

When a hand offered her a handkerchief, she quickly got to her feet and rubbed at her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I’ll get to work right away, the magic just needed a few tears is all-“

“You can cry magic?” a manly voice asked.

Once Nene opened her eyes, she was met with the sight of a smiling young man her own age. Or what she could guess was her own age, given how he obviously wasn’t human, what with the way he floated and all. He had this ethereal glow to him, which highlighted his handsome features. Though he wasn’t her type, he was undeniably attractive, in a strange otherworldly sort of way. Given his smile, it was as if he already knew her answer.

A bit shaken, she answered, “No. Unfortunately, I can’t at all.”

“Then why were you crying?”

So she explained everything to the strange man. How her father’s mill burned down, how they tried to scam a few people, and what led her to that prison. She even told him how the king would have her and her father’s heads if she didn’t spin all the straw into gold.

He tutted his finger at her. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you not to lie? Really, what a situation you’re in.”

“I know!” Nene exclaimed, a bit irked. “But it’s too late now.” She got back to the spinning wheel and started threading. “Sorry if my tears were too loud. I promise not to bother you again.”

His voice chirped. “You weren’t bothering me.”

Quickly, he floated towards her and whisked her away to the window, pointing to the full moon.

“And you shouldn’t give up so easily. The moon is a portal into my world and when you cried under it, I was able to hear you.” He set her down on her feet. “I could transport gold from my world and bring it here while you throw away the straw.”

“You would do that?” Nene asked graciously. “Oh thank you!”

He halted her for a moment and brought his hand up. “For a price of course. You can’t just get something for free.”

Nene shoved her hands into her dress pockets, patting it down to find something. There was nothing left over from the mill and she had no jewels or riches to give.

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything to give you…” she muttered sheepishly. “I don’t think I have anything you’d want.”

Hanako stepped right in front of her. The click of his boots touching the ground echoed. “Nonsense,” he said. “In fact, what you’ll give me will help seal the deal.”

Her brow quirked. “What would that be?”

“A kiss. To seal the deal, we’ll make a pinky promise.”

“A- A- kiss?” she stuttered. Her face flared up in embarrassment. “Is a kiss really worth a whole room of gold?”

He shrugged. “Who knows? It makes things more interesting don’t you think?” Hanako held out his pinky towards her. “Do we have a deal?”

Although Nene’s instincts screamed at her to not make deals with shady moon men- no matter how handsome they were, a huge part of her felt safe, like she could trust him wholeheartedly.

As she held her pinky out to wrap around his, she looked into his eyes and saw no sign of bad intentions. Magic worked in strange ways… Maybe he was telling the truth. When his pinky grasped onto her own, he bent down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, sending tremors down her body as she forgot how to breathe.

Parting away from him, she felt empty, tempted to kiss him once again.

“What’s your name?” she asked breathlessly.

Hanako gave a teasing grin.

“Just call me Hanako.”

Hanako did as he promised and kept disappearing in and out of the room. He’d exit out of the window and come back in with bags full of gold earrings, gold bars, and the like. Even if the king was confused by the straw turning into objects, Hanako assured her the king wouldn’t mind. Nene kept throwing straw out the window and every time Hanako came back, they shared many laughs and a few stories to pass the time.

Once Nene threw all the straw out the window, Hanako floated beside her. Hanako started to disappear into thin air as the moonlight faded. Before he left, he gave a kiss to Nene’s hand and laughed at her flustered face. By the time dawn came, the king came in to take in all the wonderful treasure.

“How magnificent!” the king cried out. “This is truly a gift.”

“Thank you,” she bowed. “Now I must check on my father-“

“Nonsense! In fact, I will give you another room filled with straw and you can give me more gold. In return, I’ll give your father a new mill. I’ll let the servants entertain you for a whole day.”

And so Nene was thrust into a whole day of pampering. She ate a wondrous feast as musicians came to play on their lutes and singers came to give their songs. All day long she was treated like a queen as all the servants rushed to her beck in call. By the end of the evening, she was dressed head to toe in rich silks while her hair shone like starlight.

It all would have been in good fun, had the king not been so greedy. Once again, he locked her into another prison. This time, there was even more straw. So much so, it reached the ceiling.

Sighing to herself, she plummeted her body to the window, wishing that she really could spin straw into gold. Hanako was so kind to have helped her. Although she didn’t understand why he’d want a mere kiss and a pinky promise, her heart swelled at his kind gesture. He must’ve been fatigued by the whole ordeal. If there was anything to comfort Nene, it was the fact that her dad was probably living happily at his new mill.

She felt her head lean against someone’s shoulders. When she turned her head, she was delighted to see her friend once more. “Hanako?! What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to see you,” he said. Taking in all the straw, he whistled. “More straw for gold? What a tyrant.”

Nene hung back her head in defeat. “Yes… But luckily my dad is free and at his new mill. Even if I die tomorrow, at least I’ll die knowing that.”

“Who said you were going to die?” He chuckled. “I certainly won’t let that happen.”

Nene couldn’t contain her shock. “You’re really going to help me? I’m sorry, but I can’t really give you anything. I didn’t take any treasure in here. All I can really give are the clothes off my back.”

“Well if you’re offering~” he teased.

She playfully swatted at him. Over the course of last night, she had learned he was quite a perverted trickster. Between his journey, he’d get her flustered by breathing into her ear and sneaking quick scares. It would’ve been frustrating if he wasn’t so devilishly charming. To tell the truth, she didn’t really mind his advances.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he joked. “But I do have something I want from you.”

“And what would that be?”

He leaned against her small frame and started to play with her fingers. “I want you to sing me a song. Whichever one you like.”

Nene’s eyes were fixed curiously. The straw had doubled in size and all he wanted was a song?

“Are you really sure a song is worth a room of gold?” Nene asked worriedly. She felt incredibly guilty for not giving him anything of value. Although she knew that fairies and magic creatures operated by different rules, it still plagued her mind.

To her surprise, he just raised her hand to his lips and kissed it like he had the day before. “Anything from you is more than enough for me.”

Hesitantly, she placed her head against his shoulder and started to prod at his fingers. She sang him a lullaby that her mother sung to her a long time ago, when she was still a little girl who dreamt of leaving the mill. Nene was not like the other trained singers in the king’s court, but Hanako’s eyes drifted happily as they sat by the window, engulfed by shadows of the night sky.

Once her song was finished, he gave her a kind smile, awed by her gentle tune.

With that, the two got back to work as he brought in more gold and she threw out more straw. They laughed and sang till the moon faded out of sight, where Hanako gave another kiss to her hand. However this time, Nene noted, he looked a little sad in his departure.

Like the day before, the king came in and marveled at all the new pieces of gold. He set her out to be pampered once again. Only throughout the whole day, Nene could only think about Hanako and how she would repay his kindness. When the king announced that they would wed after she spun gold that night, Nene actually felt distressed. The king was her usual type, but the threat of her head chopped off made him extremely unattractive. To her surprise, when the marriage was brought up, her mind trailed back to the sweet kiss that she and Hanako shared.

Truly, what a dangerous thought.

Nene sat in the roomful of straw the third night. Thankfully there was less straw than the two previous nights. The king even gave her a little mattress to rest her body. No doubt it was to show her that he could also be ‘kind’ and ‘generous.’

She scoffed at the whole notion. How could he ever think about doing that to someone he’d consider as his future queen. Just as she approached the window, Hanako appeared right before her, as if he had been waiting for her.

“Oh, Hanako! Have you come to help me?”

“I didn’t think that little tyrant would let you off so easily. Is he still threatening to kill you?” He sighed, putting his hands on his hips expectantly.

Nene’s fingers started fumbling with each other. “Well, yes. But he also said that if I get all this straw spun into gold, he’ll make me his queen.” She gazed at him with pleading, innocent eyes. “So please help me…”

Unpleasant silence drifted into the room like a cloud. For the first time, Hanako frowned.

And even stranger, his tone turned gritty and callous. “Ahhh, I see. So even with all the times he’s tried to kill you, made you a near slave, you still want to be with him. Gee, I knew you were a romantic, but never I thought you’d be stupid.”

Her heart constricted and tears pricked the corners of eyes. “It’s not like that’s what I wanted any of this!” she yelled. “How could I deny being his queen? He’ll kill me if I say no. You wouldn’t understand what it’s like to go hungry or beg for some morsels to eat! At least if I say yes, he’ll give me a good life.” She had to turn away from him. If she spoke any more, she’d likely fall apart.

“I suppose I don’t understand.” He sighed defeatedly. “Very well, I’ll give you all the gold you need for your happily ever after.”

Before she could give him her new jewelry as payment, he held his hand up to stop her. “No need,” he said.

With a snap of his fingers, all the straw was replaced by shimmering gold treasures. Stacked high to the ceiling were gilded statues, metal flowers, and twinkling coins. All so beautiful and yet so empty.

She was absolutely dumbfounded. If he could do that all along, why bother to float in and out of the window to see her? Why go through all the trouble?

“Unfortunately, this is the last time I can help you. The people of the other world aren’t too happy about me bringing all this gold,” Hanako said. “I’ll have to spend a few mortal months paying it all back.”

Nene was disappointed to hear the news. All the fun times they shared came to an unsatisfying end. She should have known better than to think a mere kiss and a song were enough. Now poor Hanako would have to pay a price.

Once he faced the window and prepared to float away, Nene hugged him from behind, intent on trapping him there till he heard her pleas.

“You’ve done so much for me Hanako! I’m sorry I was so selfish…” He turned to look her in the eyes, a bit surprised by her apology. “What’s your price?” Nene humbly asked. “Surely I can give you something you’d want!”

He gave her a glance up and down, eyes enticed by her lovely face and soft figure.

“You.”

It’s all he said before he kissed her. The last thing she could feel was her back hitting the mattress.

When Nene woke up the next morning and gathered her clothes, she found herself missing the warmth of Hanako’s body. The cold stone tower gave off very little heat and the only thing to comfort her was the beat of his heart underneath her ear. As strange as it was, he felt even more human than the king.

Silence was the only noise in the room as the two made themselves presentable. Combing her hair around him has never felt so awkward, nor has it ever felt so lonely. From her left eye she could see his sulking figure and she felt her heart growing sad.

“Hanako, I-“

The door to her prison opened and like every night, Hanako vanished without a trace.

Nene’s marriage to the king was an incredibly unhappy one.

When she gave the excuse that magic could only spin straw into gold three times, he nearly had her head cut off. It was only until his advisors told him it would make him look monstrous to the kingdom that he put that idea to rest.

Their few months together were extremely volatile, with him muttering about how he had no need for her. Still, they were married and as most married couples, they were expecting a child.

But he didn’t so much as bat an eyelash when he found out she gave birth to a girl and not a baby boy.

‘She’s unfit to rule,’ he had said. ‘Name her whatever you want, I don’t care.’

After being so rudely dismissed, Nene could only trudge to her separate room as she held her dear daughter in her arms. The maids and servants gave her looks of pity, knowing all too well how cruel their king could be.

It had been over a month and her daughter still had no name. Nene didn’t have the heart to give her one, too tired and depressed to think about it.

Because the king hadn’t even tried to go near her daughter, he missed out on her adorable yawns and little hiccups. He left all of his parenting duties to Nene and a couple of nannies, who would often coo at the little princess. They cited how she looked an awful like Nene herself, with tufts of cream colored hair and a soft nose, an utterly perfect picture of beauty. She was a child that any parent would be proud to love.

As much as her daughter greatly resembled her, a peculiar thing to note was that her eyes were neither her mother’s shade of ruby red or the king’s deep onyx.

They were a glimmering shade of gold.

Once again, Nene failed to get her husband to pay attention to her daughter. Setting the baby down in a cradle, Nene tucked her in with a little wolf toy that had amber buttons for eyes while she sang a familiar lullaby. When she was done, she sat in her own lone bed and wiped her tears away furiously. The moonlight that shone over the cradle did very little to comfort her. As strange as it seemed to be upset over a man not paying attention to what should be his daughter, Nene’s heart ached. Now she knew that even if the baby had been bred from his blood or borne from his feathers, she would be treated no differently. Still unloved, still unwanted.

“She’s beautiful,” a voice awed.

Nene gasped and flung her head back. The moonlight had seeped in through the window’s cracks and onto the cradle. Her sleeping baby’s hand was curled around Hanako’s finger. Hanako gave a tiny laugh, fawning over the precious thing. “What a beauty,” he whispered. “She looks just like you.”

When he heard nothing and turned to Nene, his brows creased in worry. “Why are you crying?”

It was hard not to tear up in front of him. Not only was this the first time she had seen him in almost a year, but he had shown more care to her daughter in two minutes than the king had in two months. What should she say? That her marriage was horrible? How she thought of him each time she looked at the moon? How the king’s daughter was actually his?

Instead, she confessed that the king was ashamed of not having a son.

If Hanako was annoyed with her sudden engagement, then he was absolutely furious when he heard the words leave her mouth. “How could a king not notice such a treasure? Not even a whole world of gold is an ounce of what she’s worth.”

Unable to hear anymore, she ran into his arms and cried a year’s load of tears into his shoulder. He hushed her graciously and grazed her cheek with his thumb.

“Oh, Hanako,” she whispered. “He won’t even look at her… And he hates the fact I can’t give him gold anymore. I’m just so miserable here…” Sinking her nose deeper into the crook of his neck, she muttered, “What should I do?”

Hanako took a hold of her small frame and smiled at her, looking even more handsome than the day she lost him. “Don’t worry, Yashiro. I’m going to set things right.” He walked the both of them over to the baby’s cradle. “Just follow my lead.”

The very same night, the king was stupefied to see a man from the moon come to him demanding his firstborn child. Nonchalantly he dismissed Nene’s concern with the wave of his hand. The king didn’t particularly care about Nene’s tears or the advisors warning him about magical creatures, he only paid full attention once Hanako threatened to steal away all his gold.

Hanako rolled his eyes. Of course he would only care about that.

Clearing his throat, Hanako glared down at the king. “Again, your wife promised me her firstborn child the moment I taught her how to spin straw into gold. But now that she’s broken her end of the deal, I’ve opted to take them both and all the gold she’s ever given you.” Hanako smirked viciously. “Unless you can tell me my name within the next hour.”

Making his way to the king, Hanako jutted out one hand. “Do we have a deal?”

The king grew nervous, clinging harder onto his jeweled rings and his throne’s handles. Shakily, he shook Hanako’s hand. As afraid as he was, he was even more afraid of losing all his riches.

Hanako smiled mischievously. ‘Excellent’, he thought.

Once the deal was done, the king ordered everyone in the room to guess the moon man’s name. All the advisors shouted possible names, ranging from Aito to Zenshiro. They used their own names, their family’s names, and even scoured through books to find a name.

As the hour ticked by, Nene and Hanako were elated at the king’s futile efforts. Any minute now and their deal would be done. More than fifty minutes passed by when all the advisors were at their wit’s end, stammering as the king grew more and more frustrated.

Angrily, the king took a hold of Nene’s shoulders and shook her violently. She clung onto the baby as her husband’s voice got louder.

“Tell me! You must know his name!” the king yelled. “How could you not!”

Seething in rage, his fingers started digging deeper into her shoulders. She yelped in pain as the baby started to cry from the motion. “You planned this all along, didn’t you? You planned on stealing my fortune from the very start! You useless piece of-”

The king could not finish his sentence as a fist collided right into his face and sent him flying. His neck nearly collided with the throne’s platform as his nose was painted in scarlet.

Everyone stood in shock as the moon man shook off blood from his knuckle.

“That’s enough,” Hanako grit. “Your time is up.”

With the snap of his fingers, the room started spinning. Everything- even the gold off of their hands and ears, was snatched away, vanishing into thin air.

There was almost nothing left in the throne room besides a few fragments of wood and a couple of fabrics, which scattered along the floor when the wind came.

Fed up with the royal’s nonsense, Hanako sneered at the king’s shock. The lavish room looked nothing more than a pile of shabby dust. Turning to Nene and the baby, his eyes softened.

Gently gathering her up into his arms, no different from how a man would carry his bride, he floated high and above. The moonlight engulfed their bodies while he gave a victorious smirk.

“I’ll be taking my wife and my daughter back.”

With that, he and the miller’s daughter were never seen again.

“So you knew all along…” Nene flushed. Her baby was sleeping once again, this time in a cradle from the other world.

Hanako laughed. “Of course I did.” He laid his chin on top of Nene’s head and held her close with his slender arms. “She has my eyes.”

How he was able to tell, she doesn’t know. Save for her brief cries in the throne room, her baby had been asleep the whole time. But the more she thought about it, the more she realized she didn’t care. If Hanako called her his daughter, then that was all she needed to hear. The memory of his finger engulfed by her infant’s hand was more than enough.

“And you don’t mind?” Nene asked.

You don’t mind having a daughter? You don’t mind me?

Hanako placed a kiss to her temple. “If I did, would I have stolen you away? You can be so silly, Yashiro.”

She could feel his heartbeat right behind her back as they stared down at the infant. Turning around, Nene’s eyes lowered as her smile widened. “Well if that’s the case, then you should be the one to name our daughter. It’s only fair.”

Before he can leap in joy, she pinched his nose and giggled when he winced. “You better make it good though! You know how hard it was to take care of a kid all by yourself? You owe me about nine months of care!”

He chuckled amorously. “Of course, I do,” he teased. “I’ll give you all that and more.”

Bending down to feel the soft texture of his daughter’s cheeks, his eyes came down in bliss. Besides her mother, she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

“Mizuki. Let’s call her Mizuki,” he said.

Nene leaned her head against him, happy to have heard such a lovely name. Quite befitting for a daughter of the moon.

#fic recs

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Tell Me, How You’re Sleeping Easy

Chapter 4: No Sir, By the Way, What The Hell Are Morals?

It was fun to fluster Yashiro, if only to see that cute flush that overtook her features whenever she was embarrassed. But, Nene, flirting like that — with him? No, he hadn’t even imagined that in his fantasies. He’d been all but caught off guard, as though the tables had been shifted, and suddenly, he was the one who had been hunted, lined up perfectly down the sight of a gun that Yashiro had every intention of pulling the trigger of. He’d been all too willing to go along with her, too, his mind losing all reason and logic the moment that her interest became clear.

Yashiro wanted him?

Hello, chapter 4 of my fic with @fangirlingforeverz is now up!

#my fanfiction

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships: Hanako | Yugi Amane/Yashiro Nene It’s snowing outside, and Nene Yashiro deals with growing feelings and a growing sense of nostalgia. Hanako is keeping secrets.

#fic recs

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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I read a fic called ‘tell me, how you’re sleeping easy’ about hananene few weeks ago and I feel like words can’t express how fluffy it is despite being a yakuza au, so I drew a loosely inspired scene from it, and if you’re reading this authors, I truly enjoyed it T.T my inner ship agenda has literally been restored by reading it

#reblogging here too #my fanfiction

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Reblogging this here, too <3

#my writing #AAAAH #SOMEONE DID FANART OF MY FIC #haven't posted it here yet but maybe i will?

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #the babies #the trio #edits

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit

angsty bonus:

after a long and heartfelt hug he and Iroh had The Talk™ gay edition

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #sokka #katara #aang #fanart #this is amazing

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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omg i just need someone to cry over this with bc i started the manga but the star festival arc has to be my favorite? i can’t even put into words how much i love that despite nene not having any real supernatural abilities, she does everything in her power to try and help hanako because she wants to protect him! and those tags were a way for her to do something about his tragic past but in the end his only wish was to meet her again some day? there’s so much love in their relationship i cantt 😭

YESS!! AHHH I LOVE NENE SO MUCH BECAUSE OF THAT!! Like all she wants to do is protect Hanako like how he’s always been protecting her?? And Hanako’s happiness is worth more to her than her shallow wish of having thin ankles or even going back to her time ;o;

And the scene is so special that AidaIro drew it from a different angle and colored it so beautifully ;o;

#hananene

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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What do you think of/about Tsukasa and Hanako's relationship as it is currently, and what do you think of/about how it might have been when they were alive?,, from theory asker anon!! ^^

I’m obviously super invested in the twins and their relationship and honestly what gets me is that the Yugi twins, in particular, are...pretty weird if you think about it!

People like to say first impressions are everything, but you actually don’t get a good grasp of the kind of dynamic Hanako and Tsukasa have until like...the third time they meet, actually. Specifically...

This is enforced by Picture Perfect Arc.

Tsukasa is clingy to a pretty obnoxious degree, and Hanako/Amane is generally accepting of this, even if he does complain when Tsukasa is too forceful. In general, if you go by Picture Perfect, it’s...like, stock responsible and irresponsible twin. Tsukasa causes a ruckus and/or is generally reckless, and Amane tries to keep him under control (he fails) or at least speaks up when Tsukasa goes overboard. In general, while he doesn’t baby Tsukasa per se, we do see him just...tolerating Tsukasa’s clinginess while only lightly scolding him at best when Tsukasa acts out. He’s not very effective at reigning Tsukasa in, so I imagine life as Tsukasa’s bro truly is suffering...

Even in elementary school, it seems Amane would just rather let Tsukasa do as he wants rather than forcing or disciplining him.

Given that they’re the same age, I should state this is pretty normal. Amane seems more soft-spoken than Tsukasa and because they’ve grown up together, he’s likely used to Tsukasa’s antics to the point where while he can get bothered in the moment, he’s quick to get over it. An overall normal sibling relationship! It wouldn’t be cause for concern at all except for the small fact that...

Y’know.

I do think their relationship was fairly normal although I do suspect there was codependency due to the fact that we haven’t heard about their parents and that the twins likely spent most of their time together. However, something happened in middle school in Amane getting bullied/abused and retreating into himself until he decides not to go anywhere and kills Tsukasa soon after. Obviously, I know a lot of people assume Tsukasa but...

I’ve given my reasons as to why I don’t think that’s the case, but namely, it’s because we don’t...see Tsukasa act physically violent towards Hanako. Given how pretty flagrantly violent he is...

(There are better examples but this moment is too fucking funny to not share.)

The absence of direct violence towards Hanako feels significant. Not to mention you’d think Tsukasa would be possessive towards Hanako, but...he’s not remotely threatened by Nene and even seems to like her well enough. I’ve also seen people suggest that he’d resent Amane’s wish to go to space because that implies they might be separated which...hasn’t been implied at all. If anything, Tsukasa’s been shown to share his brother’s fascination with space to an extent.

Honestly, their relationship really is strange because contrary to expectations, it seems normal. And the two of them are even capable of acting normal towards one another in Picture Perfect where there isn’t even a hint of strain in their interactions.

It’s...so strange. Because we do know Amane murdered him and that Tsukasa’s personality right now is beyond troubled. Hanako’s not much better, and yet all glimpses we get into their relationship that don’t focus on that murder and Tsukasa’s current misdeeds paint a picture of a relationship that’s hardly concerning. Maybe dysfunctional, but not one rife with utter turmoil. Seriously, what happened to them? How did things go so wrong?

I worry about the answer we’ll get.

#analysis #GOOD STUFF #YES #AGREED #ONE HUNDRED PRECENT

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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realization

#hes in love your honor #toilet bound hanako kun #jshk #hananene #fanart

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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sumire ✿ school mystery #6’s yorishiro

#my girl #sumire #jshk #hanako-kun

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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A Rose By Any Other Name...

Title: A Rose By Any Other Name... (Chapter 1/2)

Also on Ao3!

Fandom: Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

Rating: T (warnings for major character death, but it’s not gonna have a sad ending, I promise!)

Word Count: 7,480 words

Summary:

Death wasn’t as dramatic as stories made it out to be.

Nene had read plenty of books growing up. Romance, drama, horror (her favorite!), and of course, tragedies. She had never been a big fan of that particular genre. It was always too melodramatic for her tastes, and not in the whimsical, romantic way that she liked. Death was always tragic, that was undeniably true, but in the stories, it always seemed as though the dying person would cling desperately to life, fighting with every fiber of their being to cling to that one final breath. Nene didn’t fight when she died.

Oh, she had thought as it hit her. I’m dying.

That sucks.

Predictably, Nene dies. Fortunately, contrary to what Hanako claimed, death wasn't necessarily the end.

Notes: Okay, so like this was posted on ao3 forever ago, and I just realized that I never posted it here, so I’m correcting that right now, I guess. I hope you all enjoy. Please leave a comment, like, and reblog if you enjoy. Also shoot a message to me if you want to talk Hananene. I forget about tumblr sometimes, but I will surely answer eventually.

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...Would still smell just as sweet.

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Kamome Academy was a place where legends were born and made real.

The school had been the one unchanging fixture within Shibuya of what was now Tokyo’s bustling financial district. Kamome had stood for a near century, its walls still made from the same stone that had been used to construct it all of those years ago, back when it had first been built over an old wooden school house that shared its land with an old Shinto shrine to the god, Inari.

There were strong spiritual roots here, even in the iron jungle that was Tokyo.

Perhaps that was the reason so many spirits were born here — were bound to this place.

Within the crowded, lively halls of Kamome Academy, secrets and rumors had a way of becoming tangible; real. All you really had to do was breathe life into that secret and it would animate itself.

Or in some cases — reanimate.

“Hey, have you heard this rumor?” A girl leans close to her friend during their lunch period. They sit at the same desk, hunched over, giggling. It is here that a rumor is whispered, a rumor to be spread. “If there’s someone that you love with all your heart, you should go to Kamome’s outdoor pool. If you throw a 5 yen coin into the pool and wish for your lover to be yours, the mermaid who lives in the depths of the pool will grant your wish.”

“Really?”

“Yes! It’s said that when she was alive she fell in love with a mortal that she couldn’t have, for she was a mermaid and he was a human. In the end, she tried to change her fate.”

“And then what happened?”

“What do you think happens when you try to change your destiny? She turned into sea foam and died!”

And so, she was born. Or was it reborn?

Just — like — that.

-------

Death wasn’t as dramatic as stories made it out to be.

“No -- no, Yashiro! You’ve got to fight! No, no, no--”

Oh, she wanted to fight, of course. She wanted to kick, to punch, to scream about how badly she wanted to live. She wanted to perform a long soliloquy about the unfairness of it all, the spotlight shining directly on her as she decried her fate. After all, who wanted to die at sixteen? There was still so much that she hadn’t done!

“Yashiro, hold on!”

She hadn’t gone on a real date, hadn’t gone on a long romantic walk underneath the starlight, nor had she been swept off of her feet, or even kissed. The subject of her own mortality had been a constant burden that she had carried with her since living in Shijima’s pseudo-perfect world. How could she not think about it, after all? Though, at the moment of death, it was as though all those feelings crashed within her, and the impact was both sudden and brutal. It was a strange duality, wanting so badly to live, and yet having not a slither of energy or ability to fight off that impending finality.

It was her fate, after all.

No, she couldn’t fight.

Nene had simply slipped away.

One moment, she was there — filled with light, with warmth. She had been helping Hanako with something — though, that was difficult to remember. What had she been helping him with? A yorishiro, perhaps. Yeah, that sounded right. One moment, she had been reaching to undo the

seal on a yorishiro. An action that she had done so many times before. She hadn’t even considered that this would be the moment that the sand within her hourglass would finally run out.

That was all that it took.

She doesn’t even feel being stabbed.

Then she’s losing feeling in all of her limbs, growing numb — cold.

“Yashiro!”

The most difficult part of dying, Nene thought, had been lying in Hanako’s arms as he held her and screamed. She remembered that with almost crystal clarity. Had she ever seen him cry before? Yes, she had. Thrice -- once as Amane, when he had still been full of life, bruised and sobbing in an empty classroom. Then once more on the school’s rooftop after he had encountered his brother, and again back in the painted world as he admitted how badly he wanted her to live. She had felt awful, then. He wanted her to live, to survive — and she wouldn't, even when he had taken on her wish to live for another 99 years.

An impossible wish.

Too impossible to grant.

A selfish wish. Just who was she to try to defy fate, after all?

She had promised herself that she would never be the source of those tears again, though. I’m just breaking all of my promises, she thought as she gazed up at him, his voice growing so far away. His voice sounded like nothing more than a distant, far off echo. He seemed so alive right now -- amber eyes burning, red and swollen with tears, as though he had true flesh to bruise and swell. He had been trembling, shaking her as he cried her name again and again.

Oh, she had thought as it hit her. I’m dying.

That sucks.

Nene had wanted to comfort him, to cup his cheek and promise that everything would be fine. She would be fine. She wanted to lie to him -- to assure him that her own mortality was nothing but a fallacy to be ignored. What happened? She wondered, watching his expression, as tears that she could not feel fell onto her skin. They should have been wet. Under normal circumstances, she might’ve even panicked about him getting her skin wet. Didn’t he know that she’d turn into a fish if she got too wet?

And with that last, foolish thought — she was gone.

Here — and then not.

No, death wasn’t the hard part.

It was leaving him behind -- knowing that she had caused that pain within his eyes. That was the hardest part.

------

It was a bright and sunny morning when she regained consciousness.

At first, she hadn’t found anything to be amiss. The school bell hadn’t even rung yet as Nene stood just beyond the entrance to the school building. Strange, she thought to herself, looking around and taking in her surroundings. It was still too early for the rest of her classmates to arrive, earlier than she normally even came into school. Had she needed to finish something for Aoi in the gardening club? That was usually the only time that she came in early. “That has to be it,” she said, satisfied with her answer.

Something had felt off.

It was an odd feeling, as though her skin was pulled too tightly over her own body, as though her organs didn’t fit correctly inside of her. There was an acrid, bitter taste in her mouth that just didn’t seem to dissipate. Something was wrong; she couldn’t place just what. Nene’s lips twisted into a frown as she tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember even coming to school. She didn’t even remember the previous day. Had she cleaned the toilets with Hanako? Had she eaten dinner? What had her mother prepared for her and her father? Her stomach felt -- off. There was a dull throbbing sensation in her belly, as though she had eaten something that hadn’t sat right with her. Absentmindedly, she rubbed the spot.

Had she remembered to clean Black Canyon’s cage? She had to clean it out every Wednesday.

What day even is it? Nene wondered, that awful feeling only growing, like bile rising in her throat. She could feel it gathering in her throat as she made it to the school gardens. It was empty, of course. It was still far too early for anyone else to be there. She looked around, checking the soil and growing even colder as she did so.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Something was very wrong.

The last time she had gone to her gardening club, they had harvested the tomatoes and cucumbers that had finally finished growing. She knew that she had meant to come in early and plant new vegetables for the summer season like Aoi had asked her to do, and if Aoi had delegated the task to Nene, that meant it was her job to get it done and hers alone.

And yet --

All of the summer vegetables had already been planted. Some of them were even fully grown. The squash plants were large and supple. They would need to be pulled soon.

How much time had passed?

When was it?

It couldn’t still be Spring. Hadn't the trees just been blossoming with soft pink petals days before? Calm down, she thought to herself, though it felt as though her heart was about to burst out of her chest. Her hands felt cold and clammy, as though they were covered in sweat.

One, two. Breathe.

Try to remember. There had to be an explanation for all of this —

What was it —

The memory came to her suddenly, barrelling through her mind like a bullet train.

-- There had been new supernaturals that had cropped up, plaguing the schools with their wretched pranks. Hanako had called them Amanojaku, imp-like troublemakers who had begun appearing around the school, whispering in the ears of the students before their cruel persuasion eventually incited the object of their torment to mischief and violence. It had started with arguments amongst the students within Nene’s class. Simple things -- everyone just seemed more on edge than usual, until the moment that Lemon-kun had thrown a punch right at Akane-kun’s face.

And then...

And then what?

It’s fine! She thought, even though she was already falling to her knees, nerves threatening to overtake her. I can just ask Hanako! He’ll know what happened!

She’d talk to him — and then he’d fill her in. Then, everything would make sense —

“Yashiro?” A voice whispered. She could barely even hear it, though she recognized the voice immediately. She could feel her breath catch in the back of her throat. Hanako! She thought. Good! It was just the person who she wanted to see! Nene smiled, all but scrambling to her feet as she turned around to face him. He was the same as he normally was — translucent as the rays of sunlight shone through his body. It was as though he was there, and yet not. A fading fixture in a solid world.

Haku-joudai hovered around him, though the two orbs appeared to be agitated about something. They shook in place, dashing around him as though in a frenzy. Hanako, on the other hand, hadn’t moved an inch.

“Hanako-kun!” she cried, delighted as she began to run towards him. “Something really weird is going on!” Tears of frustration and relief filled her eyes.

It was only then that something about his reaction struck her as strange. Normally, Hanako would’ve already been all over her, wouldn’t he have? He’d be floating near her, arms wrapped around her as though he were a second skin.

But —

Hanako hadn’t made a single move towards her. He simply stood there, staring at her, lips parted in what seemed to be disbelief.

Wasn’t he normally happy to see her?

His usual cheshire smile was gone, replaced with a look of pure horror. His large eyes seemed even wider, pupils constricted as his body trembled hard. “Yashiro,” he breathed, sounding as though the very action of speaking was a laborious effort. “Yashiro — I’m so sorry.”

An apology.

What was he apologizing for?

She laughed, unsure of herself. “Hey,” she said, taking another hesitant step towards him, as that feeling of wrongness in the pit of her stomach only mounted. Why was he looking at her like that? The expression of his face was difficult to place. His eyes seemed swollen, lips quivering. It was like he didn’t want to look at her. Was he feeling guilty? “What are you apologizing for?” She couldn’t remember. Had she complained to him about cleaning the toilets again? It wasn’t like him to be sorry over something like that, though.

She smiled, “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Hanako-kun.” She grabbed his hand, meaning to calm him. The moment that she does, however, she noticed that his hand felt different. It wasn’t cold. In fact, she could feel a warmth emanating from him. It was reminiscent of how his skin had felt in the picture world. Soft. Warm.

Strange.

“Hanako-kun -- I’m glad that I ran into you here,” and truly, she was. She could mull over the warmth of his skin later. Finally, things would begin to start making sense!

“I wanted to ask you what happened the other day?” she began slowly. “With the Amanojaku!”

No answer.

Why was he looking at her like that?

“Hanako-kun?”

He swallowed as though there was something thick trapped within his throat. “Yashiro,” from the moment that he spoke, he seemed to come back to himself. He was pale, shivering as he slowly lifted a hand to her cheek. He squeezed the hand that she was holding, before lacing their fingers together. “Yashiro,” he repeated her name, but it sounded like he was in pain.

He still hadn’t answered her.

Hanako leaned against her, moving so close that for a moment, she thought that he might kiss her. She grew warm, cheeks burning when he rested his forehead against her. His eyes squeeze closed. He felt as though he were actually alive. How was that possible? Hanako’s touch had always been cool, but his skin was so warm that Nene couldn't help but melt into it. As bemused as she was, it felt nice to be held like this by him. Like she belonged there -- in his arms. The school was quiet all around them, and for a moment, she wondered if time had stopped.

The romance novels that she read often described moments like this. It was the moment that magic became real, and the feelings of the two lovers became too overwhelming to be contained. Perhaps there would be a confession — an embrace or even a warm kiss. Nene felt swollen with excitement.

It felt — perfect.

Right.

“You need to move on,” he spoke suddenly, jolting her right out of her thoughts.

— And the spell had been broken.

“Move on?” She asked quietly. She didn’t understand what he meant. Move on from what?

His eyes averted, looking lower, towards her abdomen. His skin seemed to turn ashen before his eyes flickered back to hers. “You — you don’t feel that?” He asked quietly. His question makes her pause.

Feel what?

“Why aren’t you answering my questions?” It didn’t make any sense. This evasiveness was ridiculous even for Hanako, who always kept his secrets locked close to his heart. It was normal for him to use a question or some other means to distract her when he wanted to keep his lips sealed, but this was far too much. He kept on answering her questions with more questions. Really -- there had to be a limit to how much Hanako could keep from her!

His eyes flickered back down to her abdomen again.

He grit his teeth, untangling their fingers to her disappointment and bringing them to rest on her shoulders. “Look down,” said Hanako, choosing to be evasive once more. Still, his insistence that she look at herself made her hesitate. She didn’t want to. She wanted to fight him more -- to demand that he answer her questions, but from the look within his eyes, Nene could tell that this was serious. She was missing something important.

But what was that?

Nene could feel that harsh, heavy feeling in the pit of her stomach returning. Come to think of it -- didn’t her belly hurt? There was a dull throb there, right beneath her ribs. It didn’t feel like a stomach ache. No, the pain was much sharper. It had been building since the moment that she woke up in front of the school. Finally ripping her eyes away from Hanako’s she looked down at herself.

-- And then she saw it.

A gaping hole, ripped ragged and bloody,was torn right through her. It was right beneath her ribs. Crimson blood stained her uniform. There was so much of it. The skirt of her uniform was entirely ruined, soaked through with the fluid. She could even feel the warm, sticky substance seeping into the fabric of her tights. “...What…?” she whispered. The pain dissipated, leaving only a numbness in its wake. And cold -- it was so cold. A part of her had been gouged out and she hadn’t even noticed. Not until now.

“Hanako-kun,” her voice shook. “Hanako-kun -- my stomach--”

She’d been stabbed.

She’d been stabbed —

She’d been stabbed.

“Yashiro!” Hanako’s voice brought her back, grounding her. He pulled her against him tightly, his body a solid anchor within the chaos that had begun to swirl inside of her. Her visage flickered, as though she were nothing more than a candle about to be snuffed out. “Yashiro! Stay focused! I know -- I know this can be confusing at first,” his fingers ran through her hair, brushing through the strands like he had done before when he had come to harass her during her English class before. “It sometimes takes awhile to get a sense of yourself again.” His grip on her was crushing, but she relished in the feeling of it. Hanako made sense, even if none of this did. “Focus on me, okay?”

She could do that. Nene closed her eyes, breathed deeply. She filled lungs that no longer required air, and shook like a leaf in the autumn wind. The air felt crisp as she inhaled, just as it always had. Nothing felt any different. She could still feel all of her limbs. She had two hands, two legs, and two feet. She could feel Hanako as she clung to him, nails digging into the fabric of his old school uniform. “Hanako-kun,” she said when she finally trusted herself to speak. “What happened?”

Silence.

He didn’t answer -- not at first. No, he simply buried his face into her hair. Inhaling deeply, then he released a ragged breath that seemed to be ripped from his chest. When he pulled back, meeting her gaze, his eyes were set with a sort of weary, grim determination.

And she knew.

She knew without him even having to say it. Though, the words still knocked the wind out of her when they finally did come.

“You died, Yashiro.”

No -- dying hadn’t been dramatic. But... what had come after was.

---------

Days seemed to blend into one another over the next few weeks, each night dying into day again and again.

Rinse and repeat.

Nene was never quite sure if she was awake or not. She had read about narcolepsy for class once. She thought that what she was experiencing now was most similar to that. There were fleeting moments of consciousness. She would blink and awaken back at the school, before blinking again and finding herself back in a sea of darkness that was thicker than the blackest of nights.

When she was awake, Hanako was usually never far away.

He’d appear minutes after she did, a bone weary and hollow guilt etched into his eyes as he always encouraged the same thing over and over again.

“Pass on, Yashiro.”

She didn’t listen, of course.

-------

Nene came to realize rather quickly that coming to terms with your own death was quite the shock. The awareness of one’s own demise didn’t come right away. No, your body did everything in its power to maintain that illusion of life. She still felt things, phantom sensations of what should be. She couldn’t feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, but something within her brain (soul? She didn’t have a brain anymore -- that had died with her physical body) told her that the rays would brush against her skin like a sultry embrace, and so she perceived it as such. She didn’t have skin to feel the coolness of the wind sweeping over her, and yet, she shivered. Her chest burned when she held her breath, yearning for oxygen that she couldn’t breathe. Though, gradually --

Those sensations…

Started.

To.

Fade.

Her awareness was even more fleeting.

From the moment that she realized that she was dead, Nene had trouble maintaining her form. She would simply blink in and out of existence. Here one minute -- gone the next. She would often wake back up in the school -- by the entrance, in the practice garden, right in the middle of her old homeroom class. Masaki-sensei would be in the middle of a lesson. Aoi would be sitting in class, scribbling notes with a far off and misty look in her eye. She’d never see her, of course.

No one did.

Her desk had been outright removed from the class. An empty spot in the classroom was the only acknowledgement that she had once existed. Though, perhaps that wasn’t the only reminder. No one sat where her desk had once stood. When students walked past that spot, they would cast a sad, pitying glance towards it. She’d hear whispers when there was a lull in the lesson. They were always the same words. Whispers that were as loud as screams echoed throughout the entire school -- building to a crescendo that was impossible to ignore.

Poor Nene-chan.

It was always the same.

Did you hear how she died? She was found stabbed in the school courtyard! Isn’t that awful?

Poor Nene-chan, indeed.

“Insensitive, isn’t it?” A soft, yet almost dreary voice spoke to her. Nene blinked. She was in the school hallway now. How frustrating! She couldn’t seem to get a hold of herself. Her sense of self was off, just as Hanako had said. She was worried that she would disappear for good if she wasn’t careful. “The way that humans discuss the dead has always left something to be desired.” That voice sounded so familiar.

It gave Nene something to grasp. A familiar voice -- soft, distant, and feminine.

“Nanamine-senpai!” Nene found her voice, yelping out loud as she finally noticed the girl standing right in front of her. It was as though Nanamine-senpai had been out of focus, a blurry image in a camera that she had been unable to discern until that very moment. Her head just felt so foggy. Was she disappearing?

You are dead, a fact her mind was quick to remind herself of. You shouldn’t even still be here.

“You haven’t crossed over yet,” Nanamine-senpai observed. She leaned against the adjacent wall, hands folded neatly across her chest. She was as beautiful as always, resembling a painting more than a person -- a beautiful piece of art that had been handcrafted and placed into the real world. Perhaps that was why she seemed so doll-like, her movements perfectly precise, her voice like a distant dream. The sunlight filtering in through the windows from the hallway bathed her in a warm, honey-like hue. “Perhaps you should.”

“Hanako-kun….said the same thing…” Speaking was difficult. It was as though her tongue was laden with lead. It was difficult to remember how to form her words, like there were some kind of delay between her thoughts and her mouth. Then again, she didn’t have a real mouth anymore.

Dead.

She was dead.

Her insides shuddered, squirming at that thought. She could feel herself flicker again -- her consciousness fading to darkness before finding purchase in the school’s hallways once more. Sakura still stood there, watching her. “You should listen to him,” the elder girl advised. “Nothing good comes from remaining bound here.” Her tone became almost wistful. She turned slightly, glancing out of the nearby window, as a caged bird would stare longingly outside of the gaps in its cage.

“I wish that I had known that, before.”

Before? Before what? Nene wanted to ask what she meant by that, but the words never seemed to reach her lips.

The other girl didn’t elaborate on her meaning, either. Instead, she took her hand in hers, holding it in a similar manner to the way that she had back in the tea room Boundary. Imploring, asking for understanding. “Go, Yashiro-san.”

“Go where?” Nene rasped, her form trembling as her hand squeezed around Nanamine’s. “Where do I have to go?”

There was nowhere to go now. There was nothing to do. There was nothing to be. She was stuck, frozen in place from the moment that she had been stabbed. Nene had a whole list of things that she had wanted to do before she died. She’d wanted to get a boyfriend, get her first kiss, go on a date. Maybe one day she’d grow into a sexy older woman with men fawning all over her. One day she might’ve even gotten married!

Nene had wanted to stream Space Hamsters Strike Back on her laptop, curled up beside Hanako on the floor of his bathroom. She’d wanted to watch his eyes light up as he watched all of the modern special effects. Nene had heard that the effects made it feel like you were really in space while you were watching. She had downloaded the movie, and planned to bring her laptop with her the day after they had gone after the Amanojaku.

She wanted to see him get all excited about the stars, telling her all of the facts that he knew like the back of his hand. When he was like that, the mask of Hanako fell away until he was only Amane -- a boy who wanted to be an astronaut. The boy who wanted to go to the moon or to Scorpius. The boy whose life had been cut far too short.

Kind of like her.

A tight knot formed in her chest. Right where her heart would have been if she still had one. It felt as though her feet were cast in iron, given a weight that she hadn’t felt since she was alive.

“So, you’ve made your choice,” Nanamine-senpai murmured, watching her with hooded, secretive eyes.

Her choice? Nene clung to the sick feeling of sloshing acid that formed in the pit of her stomach. It was real. It anchored her in place -- kept her from disappearing, even as her consciousness began to slowly fade.

“Staying isn’t always the better option,” she informed her, dropping her hand. Her lips curled into a sad smile. “A wish cannot always be granted. Even if it is, it might just chain you in place. You can become imprisoned by that wish.”

Nene didn’t understand. How could a wish become a prison?

“Nanamine-senpai,” Nene asked quietly. “How do you know that?”

The older girl remained quiet, her eyes holding an answer that Nene didn’t want to acknowledge. Why do you think that I know, they questioned. Tsukasa-kun was a supernatural who only granted wishes to spirits, after all. How else had Nanamine-senpai been able to form a bond with him if she didn’t already intimately understand the danger of such wishes? Her wish had become the elder girl’s shackles.

Crimson eyes widened, understanding dawning within them. “Nanamine-senpai…. Are you…?”

“It doesn’t matter what I am, anymore,” Nanamine’s voice was clipped. She didn’t want to talk about that, then. “Every wish comes with a cost. Are you prepared to make such a sacrifice, Yashiro-san?”

Was she?

“You all keep saying that!” Her form flickered. Here and then not -- as though she had glitched out of reality. “You tell me it’s better to pass on! Then you say that it’s up to me to make a choice! Make up your minds already!” All of the frustration at the unfairness of the situation erupted.

Stupid supernaturals! They kept things from her, tried to force her to make decisions that she didn’t want to make, and all looked at her with that hopeless, resigned expression that she had come to loathe.

It was all too much.

She was still just too young. Before meeting Hanako her biggest concern had been her thick ankles and whether the boy she liked would return her feelings! Nene had been thrust into a world far more complex and layered than she had ever been able to fathom before. A world of wishes, apparitions and separate pockets of reality where all manner of creatures roamed, and all of her older concerns seemed paltry in comparison. Still, she had toed the line of the Near Shore and Far Shore for so long that she had come to love this dark world, filled to the brim with ancient legends and rules that were too difficult for her to comprehend.

It had always been her destiny to die.

Though, that didn’t mean that she needed to fade away, either.

Hanako. She thought of his sad, remorseful eyes. He had promised her a wish that he hadn’t been able to grant. He must be agonizing over that. He probably felt as though he had failed.

Did he always feel shackled by his wishes? Like Nanamine-senpai? Had her own wish added yet another chain to the restraints that bound him?

There were two paths laid before her, and while she knew what the easiest choice would be, she found herself yearning for the other more treacherous road that offered her nothing but overgrown thickets and branches that could easily snag her into place. It was a merciless path. Perhaps she’d even end up as bound as the rest of the apparitions who frequented this school.

Even so....

Hanako was at the end of this road, wasn’t he?

Nanamine-senpai smiled, a slight slither that seemed almost cut onto her face with knives. “Just remember this, Yashiro-san--” The girl leaned closer, resting her hand on her shoulder. She squeezed it, though Nene was unsure if the gesture was meant to be comforting or not.

“ You’re a spirit of the Far Shore now, Yashiro-san. That means if you stay long enough to manifest a wish…”

Nanamine-senpai didn’t even need to finish her sentence.

Nene knew.

“He’ll come to grant it.”

Strangely enough -- that didn’t frighten her. At least, not completely.

-------

And come, he did.

Nene wasn’t surprised to see Tsukasa when he finally sought her out. Her wish had already manifested, building itself in her heart until her entire spirit was consumed by it. It sang its song in every molecule of her form, making sure that even if she vanished, she was never gone for long. This time, she was on the roof of the old school building. She opened her eyes, and could see the sun shining down on her, even if she couldn’t feel its rays. The wind blew against her, causing her hair to blow across her face.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!” A loud, boisterous voice cried out. She recognized it immediately, flinching as her hands balled into fists. “Amane’s assistant died! You really died! I mean -- I knew that you would, but that’s a lot faster than I was expecting!” He laughed, floating in the air before flying above her, lowering himself so that his face was right in front of hers as he hung upside down. It was an action that reminded her almost too cruelly of Hanako. The boy had his face, after all, even if that was where the similarities ended.

He stared down at the wound that had yet to repair itself in her chest. “Hey! Someone stabbed you! Squish!” He reached for her, mimicking the stabbing motion with his hand. She grimaced, but she took a step away from him, eyes narrowed as she covered the wound with one of her hands. “Hey, when you got stabbed, did it make that sound? It kind of sounds like that, right?”

She didn’t want to think about that -- or the sound of it.

“Tsukasa-kun…” Nene said hesitantly, watching him with wary eyes.

“That must’ve broken Amane’s heart,” he giggled, eyes closed and grinning wide. He had a smile that was like a wild animal, all teeth -- a warning. “Did he make a good face?” She didn’t like it when he spoke like this, eyes darker than the obsidian. “I wish I could’ve seen that!”

She didn’t answer his question, her mind flashing back to Hanako’s face as she had died. No -- it hadn’t been a good face, at all. She bit into her lip -- hard. “You’re here for a reason, aren’t you, Tsukasa-kun?” She was sure that if she was still alive, she would’ve ran from him. She would’ve cowered away and called for Hanako, probably. All of those fears seemed so far away now, like a distant memory. Tsukasa would do as he pleased, whether it was favorable for her or not.

Her words seem to snap him back to attention. “Yes! Your heart called me. You have a wish, don’t you?” He had such large eyes -- round and wide until they thinned, pupils zeroing in on her. Malicious curiosity shone within them, as though he were looking right through her. It was as though he were peering into her soul. She forced herself not to cower from him even if there was still a part of her that wanted to run and cry. “I do,” she answered, voice trembling.

Well, dead or not -- she couldn’t change her crybaby ways completely.

“You know what it is already, don’t you?” Nene’s hands clenched around the hem of her skirt.

“I do,” he sang as koku-jodai danced around him. The orbs were just as excitable as he was. “You want to stay with Amane, right? You want to be with him from the bottom of your heart!”

His smile softened, startling her as he moved closer, invading her space. She wasn’t able to move away quickly enough as he grabbed both of her hands, entwining their fingers the same way that Hanako had done back when he had first granted her wish. “You want to make him happy.” She didn’t expect him to look like that. He almost seemed like his twin at that point -- kind and gentle, though those words were not what she would’ve ever chosen to describe Tsukasa.

Why was he behaving this way? She had almost expected to be run through or hurt in some way. Though, she remembered even he had stopped himself from hurting her at one point. You’re not supposed to hurt girls. Had Hanako told him that?

She nodded, “Y-Yes.” She wished she could get her treacherous voice under control.

“Are you scared?” he asked cheekily, grinning as he stuck his tongue out at her. “I won’t hurt you. I’m here to grant your wish. And well… I like your wish.”

That made her pause. He… liked her wish?

“What--?”

“We both want Amane to be happy.” He flew above her, koku-jodai practically vibrating as they circled him, glowing darkly as his power gathered. His response only served to further confuse her. He wanted Hanako to be happy? If that was the case, then why did he torment his brother? He had called them arch-enemies before. Rivals -- and yet, it seemed as though Tsukasa-kun genuinely wanted to help her. Hanako's eyes were always so sad and regretful whenever he saw him. A question formed in her throat, scratching at her vocal chords. “Do you really?”

“Yeah!” He stretched his arms out wide, as though he were going to fall to the ground and make a snow angel. “He and I are playing a game, but that’s not really what I’m here to talk about, is it?” He tapped his lip with his index finger, smirking as sharp fangs bared themselves.

She would get no more answers out of him.

A game.

She wasn’t sure what kind of game he was playing, but Nene was certain that neither Hanako nor the other spirits who got drawn into the web that he cast wanted to be a part of it. You’re confusing, Tsukasa-kun, she thought sadly, lips drawing into a deep frown. She wondered if anyone truly understood the boy in front of her. The members of his little broadcasting group didn’t seem to, all drawn together by the wishes that they had made to him, with the exception of Natsuhiko-senpai. She wasn’t sure why he was there, to be honest. Had Hanako understood him at some point?

Would she ever really know?

“Your price has already manifested. I’ve granted you an audience, so be sure not to be boring and disappoint me!”

An audience?! With whom?

She didn’t get the chance to ask him what he meant before the floor opened up underneath her.

“T-Tsukasa-kun!” she cried out, flailing out, trying to grab onto something to no avail.

“Bye-Bye!” He waved at her, and then --

Lights out.

-------

The next time Nene awakened, she was surrounded by a pitch black void.

There was nothing in this abyss -- nothing but emptiness and vast space. There was nothing to feel here, nothing to think; nothing but everlasting and far stretching darkness as distant as the eye could see. She wondered if this was the true afterlife. Was this where she was supposed to be? Was she only clinging to her worldly desires, tethering herself to the Near Shore when all that actually awaited her was an endless abyss?

Her final resting place.

It was almost peaceful. If she let herself, she could drift off into an endless, calm slumber. There would be no more pain. No more suffering. No more agonizing about her life, cut far too short. She hadn’t even had her first kiss. How cruel was that? Sixteen years old and deader than a doornail. Sleeping was much too tempting.. She could feel the desire tugging at her chest. It’d be so easy to simply close her eyes and drift off into nothingness. It’d be so easy. So peaceful. Right. This was fate, wasn’t it?

Her eyes were so heavy.

Maybe she could take just a little nap?

She could think about it more later.

“It’s kind of nostalgic -- like having a friend again.”

Nene’s eyes snapped open almost as suddenly as they had started to drift closed, suddenly alert. No. She couldn’t leave -- not yet. Not when Hanako was still tethered to the third floor girl’s bathroom of the old school building. She couldn’t believe that she had almost forgotten about him! No, she couldn’t fade away. Not while Hanako’s eyes still held that haunted, tired look as though he had seen more lifetimes than she could count. He was dead -- and yet, he couldn’t rest.

If he couldn’t rest, then neither should she.

Hanako wanted a friend. Hanako was lonely -- bound to his duty, to a penance that seemed far too great to burden a fourteen year old boy with. He’s a murderer, she reminded herself. That was true. Hanako had killed, but as she thought back to the way that he had looked on the floor of that empty classroom, all covered in bruises and bloody marks, bandages covering older wounds that had no business marring his skin, she couldn’t find it within herself to blame him. He had never told her why he had killed his brother, nor had he ever told her what had happened to him all those years ago.

There just hadn’t been enough time.

“Pass on, Yashiro.”

No, she couldn’t rest yet.

Hanako’s words only served to piss her off. He was always talking like that, making it seem as though all the dead had to look forward to was annihilation. He was a slave to rules and order -- what should be. There was still so much to do! Hanako was still at Kanome, after all. If he was there, then she would have no choice but to stay as well. She was his assistant and his friend. What would he do without her? He had urged her to move on, but that was just him being his normal, self-sacrificing self. Of course he’d say that. He was determined to make himself miserable, but Nene would be damned if she let that continue.

She wouldn’t.

Hanako needed to be protected, too!

That thought filled her like air, grounding her -- providing her with an alertness that kept her steady even in the recesses of this abyss.

Poor little lost spirit. Why do you scoff at death?

Nene could hear a voice in that abyss. It was a whisper, something that slid gently against the edges of her consciousness. It beckoned, called to her sweetly as she imagined a lover would. It was insistent, and yet too soft for her to discern its words until it slowly became more clear and present. That was, at least until the voice slowly became clear and present. It filled the space with an energy that rocked her to her core. It demanded attention now, as though it had grown tired of being ignored. She wasn’t alone here, and yet whatever she shared this space with was just out of her grasp. Nene grasped at air that wasn’t there, reaching -- searching for that voice.

Hear me, Spirit. I am here with you.

“I’m not alone?” Nene asked as she finally found her voice. There was an echo when she spoke, one that seemed to vibrate throughout the dark abyss, filling each of the spaces as it reverberated again and again. “Who are you?”

There was a rumble in the darkness, something deep and warm -- like laughter.

That is the question, isn’t it? Funny, how those who come here never seem to know the answer to that question.

Was the voice talking in riddles? Nene had never been very good at solving those. She wasn’t sure who this person was -- but who did you talk to when you finally died? The answer hit her suddenly, and she wondered why she hadn’t thought of it right away. “Are you God?”

The rumble was back, ouder this time, and it shook her as it reverberated through her like ripples of a raging river. Was it… amused by her?

Some have called me that. That seems to be the only thing humans can come up with, at least. I’m not God -- or anything of the sort.

She didn’t understand. If this voice wasn’t God, then what was it? She panicked for a moment, flailing out into the void wildly out in fear. If not God -- then was it a demon?! She didn’t voice that thought, but it seemed to recognize her fear, regardless. The laughter is deep and echoing.

I am from this land. You died on my land, and so you are tied here. Your soul refuses to pass on.

That much was true. She still had things that she needed to do, after all. If Hanako was still at Kamome, then she needed to be there, too. She was sure of it, even more sure than she had been when Hanako had tried to lock her away in the picture perfect world. She hadn’t belonged there. Even with the news of her impending death, she wanted to live with him in the real world. That wish hadn’t changed.

You are a funny human. I’m quite curious -- who are you?

Nene sputtered, “Me?”

Yes, you. You have yet to fade away. You have yet to accept death. You even solicited the help of that apparition to appear here. Why is that?

Why couldn’t she accept death?

She knew the answer to that question immediately.

“My name is Yashiro Nene.” Her voice was like steel as she spoke, steadier than it had ever been. “ I have someone that I can’t leave behind,” she answered firmly.

The void pulsed. She could hear a subtle sound, like the beating of a heart that only increased in volume until her ears rang from it.

You are a lucky one, little spirit. Your fate has been tied to that of another. It is a bond that transcends even death.

A bond that transcended death? She had heard that before, hadn’t she?

I’ve heard your wish, spirit -- Don’t come to regret it.

-- And then, a star burst into a kaleidoscope of colors before her eyes, illuminating the darkness.

------------

“Hey, have you heard this rumor? There’s a mermaid that lives in the outdoor pool --”

-------------

#hananene #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #yashiro nene #hanako #nene yashiro #yugi amane #amane yugi #my fanfiction #nene becomes a school wonder #i mean she has eight in her name #am i right

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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JSHK CAST + MOKKE HOODIES

#my baby tsukasa #looking amazing as usual #official art #mokke!

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

Photo

Ok, so I’m not a flower symbolism expert, but camellias are really prominent in this manga. They are usually associated with Hanako.

We could read the white camellias as symbolizing bad luck and death — it would certainly make a lot of sense since half the cast is dead, and even more are slated to die — but I think it’s a better idea to analyze the red camellias since they are the ones the manga uses most often.

Red camellias apparently represent love, passion and deep desire. This might be reflecting Amane/Hanako’s worldly desires for things out of his grasp, such as — the moon, repentance for his sins, and later Nene.

The pattern on the yukata Nene wears in the star festival arc also has camellias, possibly showcasing this.

#commentary #interesting!

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Behind the Bathroom Stall

Hii!! So I dedicate this story to @yo-homeboy-looks-like-sharkweek and @donut-hair because they are truly the kindest people in this fandom! And they’ve been nothing, but kind to me! And they’ve been having a rough time so I wrote this story to help cheer them up!

Summary: Canonverse, in which Nene gets asked out on a date, but she runs off to Hanako instead. Fluff. OneShot.

Word Count: 1476

Read on Ao3: Behind the Bathroom Stall

The day had finally come, the day Nene was asked out by the cutest boy in class. Not Minamoto-senpai, alas, but Fuji-kun—the princely boy in her class, who Nene had once agreed to do paperwork for—way back when she’d first met Hanako.

I’ll treat you much better than that guy.

Nene absently toyed with the skull brooch as the ghost of the memory trickled in. And suddenly she remembered Hanako’s arms wrapped around her—his hand touching hers, curling her fingers around the handle of the mop—the way he made her heart race even though he so clearly wasn’t her type.

Keep reading

#fic recs #this was just so sweet!

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naughtydaaikon · 5 years ago

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Wonderstruck

Title: Wonderstruck

Also on Ao3!

Fandom: Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun

Rating: T (warnings for some spicy kisses)

Word Count: 9,282 words (funny story, this was supposed to be like 3,000 words HAH.)

Summary:

Hanako had never specified the time for when she would die. He didn’t seem to know either, other than the fact that it would definitely be this year. What if this is it? She thinks, icy horror stabbing at her heart like the honed blade of a butcher’s knife. What if this was the moment of her death?

Alone…

In an unfamiliar place…

Without Hanako-kun.

Was she going to die without even being able to say goodbye to him? Without even being able to see him one last time? The villagers squabble amongst themselves around her, but their voices seem far away, the sound of her own heart pounding more loudly than a large hand against a drum drowning them out.

----

Nene has some important realizations in the midst of a precarious situation, and Hanako is amazingly stubborn about all of them. (Post Chapter 67 fic).

Notes: So, I’ve taken the plunge and written by own chapter 67 fic. I just couldn’t help myself. This entire arc I’ve been dying for some Hananene development. Okay. Let me be honest, I’ve been dying for a Hananene kiss in an unfamiliar place -- just like Nene described in her idealised love event. So, here I am! I hope that you all enjoy the fic. Please leave a comment on ao3, or here -- or in my inbox if you enjoy the fic! I love talking with other Hananene fans~

----

“It’s one of those famed love events you always get to hear about! At an unfamiliar location! Then, a gentle kiss!”

----

Yashiro Nene had always been a dreamer.

It wasn’t uncommon for her to weave all kinds of intricate fantasies, whimsical daydreams in which she was the star of some fantastical romantic plot. The role that she chose for herself was often the same — always the beautiful heroine of her own dashing love story to be whisked off of her feet by some stunning prince who adored both her and her chubby, thick ankles. Heroines in stories always found themselves at the center of a magical adventure, whether that adventure was being spirited away by some powerful evil or experiencing the painfully sweet throes of first love. So, Nene couldn’t be blamed if she often craved a little bit of that for herself, too, right?

Then, she wonders as she is surrounded by the unnerving masks of indifferent villagers while standing near the ledge of a very tall cliff. Why does it feel like I’m being punished for wanting those things?!

Nene had always been a little too idealistic, easy to mess with, and impulsive. Those were the characteristics that had first drawn her to Hanako-kun’s bathroom in the first place. She had wanted a wish granted — had craved love — at any price. Nene had wanted that affection even if it meant offering a part of herself to an apparition that she hardly knew. She hadn’t thought of the consequences of those actions, not until she was already covered in wet scales and breathing through slitted gills. Still, she likes to think that she hadn’t done anything quite so foolish since that point again!

Well.

Then again, there was the time that she had nearly gone off to become a fish apparition for the chance at her own harem… and the time that she had gotten tricked by Natushiko-senpai because he was hot… and the time that Nanamine-san and Tsukasa-kun had nearly sent her off to nowhere because Nanamine-san was just a little too beautiful and the cakes she had been given were just a little too good… and…

Okay, but I didn’t do anything like that just now!

She holds her hands up as the villagers advance all around her. They argue amongst themselves as Nene struggles to figure out just what was happening. Today had to have been the longest she had ever experienced. It was right up there with the time that she had gotten stuck in Shijima-san’s picture world and that really hadn’t been all that long ago. She had simply wanted to spend time with her friends at night during study camp! She would be able to make some good memories with Aoi. Maybe she had even hoped that someone special (who definitely didn’t have Hanako-kun’s face in her fantasies, no sir!) would ask her out and pull her away from her friends for a little alone time. It was possible that she’d even get her first kiss if she were proactive enough! Though, most importantly, she would be able to distract herself from dwelling her shortened life span for just one night of peace and fun.

Clearly, that was not going to be the case. Then again, since coming to Kamome Academy, was anything ever just simple?

Instead, Aoi had been kidnapped and was now behaving...strangely. She’d pushed them into the pit that had led them to this strange feudal hamlet that seemed to have been cut out of the fabric of time. It was a place that went against everything that Nene understood about boundaries. Shijima-san’s boundary was like this too. It was almost normal until something sticks out like a sore thumb, something that reverberates within one’s soul that this wasn’t quite right. Like a moon and stars that are far too visible to have been from Kamome’s rooftops in the brightly lit city of Tokyo, or in this case, a small town that was more at home out of the history books that she sometimes perused for friends.

No water that nipped at her heels, soaking her legs and bringing forth scales — no crooked and misshaped atelier that didn’t belong — just a small village filled with people who wore masks of kindness, so twisted by their own fear that they forced young girls to smash their bodies onto the jagged rocks at the bottom of a cliff in what was a vicious mockery of marriage.

So much for a fun night with friends!

A night that was supposed to be filled with fun and games with her classmates had quickly dissolved into a nightmare that she wasn’t sure that she could escape. Nothing was ever just normal at Kamome. Even taking classes, the most normal and boring part of being a high school student could quickly shift into something sinister amongst the sturdy halls of the school. She’s been sick with worry for Aoi from the moment that they had ended in this awful place.

It’s not fair! That thought plays on a loop track within her mind just as the mask clad villagers seem to finally realize that she wasn’t actually Sumire-chan. “I’ve been saying all along that I’m not Sumire-chan!” Nene screeches, hands balling into fists in a rage. Why is this happening? It had all happened so fast, and now, it only seemed to be spiraling even further out of control. Her belly aches, legs still weak from when she had been punched. This isn’t a wedding at all!

No, Nene knew weddings — they were beautiful events where two people would be joined in love forever. This… her eyes drift back to the cliff. She can hear the waves of the ocean crashing against the cliff-side and shivers. The wind shrieks, howling as it buffets her body. One wrong step and she might go tumbling over into the frigid waters below. The bride of death.

This wasn’t love.

She isn’t sure what this is, but Nene knows that without a shred of a doubt. Sumire-chan…. seemed so happy when she was talking about getting married to Number 6! She couldn’t have known…

Nene suppresses a shiver, swallowing thickly as her legs wobbled. “What’s with all of this?” Then, they had meant to throw Sumire-chan from this ledge? They had meant to kill Sumire-chan like this? They had manipulated her feelings to lead Sumire-chan to her own death? She thinks of Nene’s sweet, forlorn smile back in the bath. She had thought that she seemed lonely back then, a melancholy permeating her features that Nene hadn’t been able to understand. Tomorrow is a very important day, after all.

Had she known?

Had she known that the only groom that would embrace her beyond the large arched torii on this cliff was the frigid ocean waters as it swept her into the abyssal dark?

Her face grows indescribably hot, teeth clenching. “You call this a wedding?” Her pulse quickens, fury ballooning inside of her at the injustice of it all. “Don’t tell me you were going to kill--” she’s silenced with the threat of a sharpened bamboo staff being brandished towards her. “Kyaaaaa!” Nene had been met with many dangerous situations while in boundaries, but never anything that ever felt quite this real. The edge of the shaft looks as though it’d make quick work of her if she even so much as tried to struggle any further. One jab of that and…

She doesn’t want to think about it.

Unease rolls like corrosive sludge in her chest. She hadn’t wanted to think about her own mortality during her study trip. It’d been plaguing her from the moment that she had learned of her fate while in the painted world even though she’d been showing a brave face off to Hanako and Kou. She’d only wanted one day to be a normal teenager, having a fun night with friends, cooking, and playing games without acknowledging the swinging pendulum that inched ever closer over her head.

What if this was it?

Hanako had never specified the time for when she would die. He didn’t seem to know either, other than the fact that it would definitely be this year. What if this is it? She thinks, icy horror stabbing at her heart like a honed blade of a butcher’s knife. What if this was the moment of her death?

Alone…

In an unfamiliar place…

Without Hanako-kun.

She thinks of Hanako’s kind smile last night as he patted her head sweetly, bidding her goodnight. He’d probably stayed up all night to keep watch. She should’ve insisted that he sleep, but he had taken precautions to keep her safe, once more. He never worried about himself, after all. He viewed himself as nothing more than an afterthought. He was so gentle and she hadn’t even trusted him enough to tell him about Sumire-chan.

I said I’d protect him, she thinks, blinking back tears, throat burning as a sob builds there. But I just let him take care of me again. I didn’t tell him about Sumire-chan and now I might never see him again!

No, she thinks, raw panic spiking as one of these villagers grab her wrist with a frigid hand. “No! Wait!” She’s pulled back against the person, but they were just too strong. “Stop! Let go!”

The voices of the villagers grow louder, echoing around her into a crescendo of sound that encircles her like a ring of fire. It’s deafening. Her knees feel as though they’re going to give out, palms growing slick with sweaty terror.

“Well done catching her.”

“Drop her off just like that!”

“Congratulations, Kannagi-sama!”

“Congratulations!”

When had congratulations ever sounded like a eulogy?

No, no — no! She can’t do anything like this. She can’t run, and even if she did manage to break away from this man, she’s sure that she wouldn’t be able to fight off the crowd. She’s trapped, nothing but a weak high school girl with no special powers besides her own impending death. She’s going to die. They’re going to trap her or make her walk off of that cliff, and Hanako was nowhere to be found.

Nothing familiar was anywhere to be found.

If she’s going to die, then she at least wants to see Hanako. At least once. There was still so much that she hadn’t told him or thanked him for. She hadn’t thanked him for agreeing to grant her impossible wish back in the painted world. She hadn’t even managed to thank him for protecting her from the moment that they had fallen into this den of spiders. She hadn’t even told him how she felt about it. Not properly, at least. She’d only whispered that secret to a boy who she had thought was nothing more than a copy in what was just a happy dream. No, she didn’t just like Hanako. This emotion was far greater than that. She can feel it filling up her heart, no -- her entire being like helium.

Nene knows what this is.

She knows it by the way that she can use at least 50 different colorful adjectives to describe the exact hue of his eyes -- from the way that his smile sends her into near cardiac arrest. She’d grown so used to the unnatural coolness that emanated from his body that she had come to crave it. She felt safe in his arms. It felt right to be with Hanako. As though that was where she’d always belonged. It was almost funny, she was a girl who was always a little too silly -- a little too clumsy and a little too overly romantic to fit in fully with her peers, and yet the affection that she always craved -- that sense of this is where I’m meant to be -- came from the cold embrace of a ghost.

And the last thing I said to him was good night.

He… didn’t know that she loved him.

I love him, and the realization is so simple, so natural, that she wonders why she didn’t realize it sooner — and she’d never even get to tell him. It’s not fair! She’d realized that she truly loved a boy and he’d never even get to know? She’d die without even being able to tell him? That was the only thing that she’d ever wanted for as long as she could remember, and knowing that it was all about to be taken from her was just too much to bear. She was already going to die and couldn’t even do the one thing that she’d always wanted? Maybe it was a selfish desire, but it’s choking her, clogging her throat as she screams.

“No! Hanako-kun!”

The wind howls, cloth fluttering all around her as she is suddenly pulled against the sturdy, cool chest of the person who’s captured her. The mask falls away from his face, revealing hooded eyes as golden as the incandescently lit full moon in the sky and the too-wide, almost feral smile that she never failed to make her heart feel as though she’s just finished running a marathon. Time seems to slow to a snail’s crawl as his hand entwined with hers, just as cool and comforting as it always was.

“I’m heeeeeeere!~” He drawls, voice airy and cheerful, as though they weren’t caught at the mercy of a violent mob. Her throat tightens, tears of pure relief prickling at the corners of her eyes. Was she… dreaming? Perhaps this was some kind of elaborate hallucination just as she was pushed over the edge?

No —

He feels just as solid and cool as he normally did. A body that emanated no warmth, and yet Hanako himself was nothing but the balm of summer in the way that he made her feel. That was the same. It was really him!

Hanako-kun was here?

Perhaps it’s because he’s dressed in the same manner of the villagers and maybe it’s because the wind is still buffeting the two of them, but Nene is caught up within the magic of the moment. Hanako looks like something out of a storybook or a manga -- a powerful knight protecting a princess. She blinked back tears. He was here! He was okay! “Hanako-kun…?” She whispers, and this feeling that swells in her chest is more intense than the punch to the gut that she had received earlier. It feels as though she’s breathless, eyes still blurry with tears as she looks up at him. Had his smile always been this soft? His eyes, always so bright and filled with kindness — and perhaps… relief?

He wraps his arms around her tightly then — so tight that it feels as though he doesn’t want to ever release her. There’s a slight tremble in his voice as he murmurs, “Sorry I’m late.” His cheek nuzzles against her throat, and she can almost feel the slight brush of his lips. It’s ticklish, but also so inviting that she almost melts into his arms. Hanako-kun was here. Relief rushes through her. Hanako-kun was here. Everything would be okay, now. She wouldn’t die with him around. Hanako-kun always kept his promises, after all.

She closes her eyes, sagging against him. She isn’t going to die.

I’m not going to die… She repeats that thought to herself even as her knees buckle as her tension evaporates.

Maybe she’d even get to tell him —

“Sorry, but,” he flings the mask into the face of one of the more vocal villagers. The man cried out in pain as it collided with his skull, knocking him off of his feet from the force of the blow. “--The wedding is canceled!” The arms around her loosen, as one of his hands sliding down around her waist as he uses his other hand to rip the formal clothing off of himself, revealing his normal gakuran attire. Then, he squeezes her tightly, arm pressing her against his side. His cheek brushes against hers, much like a needy feline demanding affection. “I can’t just let some nobody out there take my assistant as a bride, right?”

He speaks with such conviction, brandishing his knife towards the crowd. He’s still smiling, but the arm around her waist holds her securely. Nene relaxes against him. If Hanako was here now, nothing could possibly go wrong. He squeezes her in a reassuring way and there’s something possessive about the action, as though he’s the one claiming ownership of her.

Or -- perhaps, that was wishful thinking on her part. She so badly wants to be claimed by him. Her cheeks grow warm and she can’t help herself from throwing her arms around his shoulders and clinging to him just as tightly as he had done to her earlier.

He’d saved her again.

“You’re here, Hanako-kun!” She pulls back, and cups his cheeks, squeezing and stretching them out to make sure that he was really real. “It’s really you!” He laughs outright, then, eyes still focused on the people that were surrounding them. His voice sounds so merry that it’s enough to soothe some of her fear.

“Yashiro, at least wait until we’re alone before you feel me up,” he teases, smile hardening as some of the villagers close in, finally regaining their bearings after Hanako’s sudden appearance. “We still have an audience of nosy pests here, after all.” He nuzzles her cheek again and she has to struggle to suppress the embarrassing whine that wells up in her throat. “You naughty daikon, you!” Nene flushes indignantly. He was really going to tease her right now? And was now really the time for daikon jokes!? “I’m not feeling you up!” If her voice was any higher at this moment, she’s sure that only dogs and small animals could hear it.

Though, she can’t deny that there’s a part of her that wants very much to kiss him at this very moment. He just looks so heroic -- almost majestic as he bravely faces off against their enemies. It was at times like this that Hanako seems just as dashing as a prince out of her favorite novels. It didn’t matter that he was shorter than her, or that his cheeks lacked the angled sharpness of the men that she typically preferred.

He was just Hanako -- the boy who was entirely dedicated to keeping her safe. The boy she loved. Her heart hammers. At least it was getting easier to say now.

“Retrieve the Kannagi!” One of the villagers shouts loudly. It’s chaos as the angry group attempts to rush them. Weapons are drawn, pointed at them -- all manner of spears, swords, and sharpened bamboo as they jab the weapons towards the pair. “She must not escape!” Hanako frowns, leaping backward as the crowd continues to approach. They were determined to have their sacrifice one way or another, it seemed.

They’re trying to push us to the edge of the cliff! Nene realizes, horrified as they draw ever closer to the edge.

“Yashiro?” Hanako asks, hand gripping even more tightly around her waist as her feet hit the edge of the cliff. “Are you scared?”

She swallows anxiously, wondering just what kind of question that was. “O-Of course I am!” She tries hard not to look behind her. The rocks at the bottom of the cliff looked so sharp… “B-But, you’re not going to let anything happen to me?” She pauses. “Right?”

The grin that he gives her is more blinding than the sun itself. “Of course not!” He says, voice filled with confidence. “So, there’s no reason for you to be afraid, alright?” He nods as though confirming that simple fact to himself as well. His other arm joins the one tucked around her waist, eyes darting towards the cliff. He looks back at her, his smile growing wide and cat-like as his eyes take on a hooded appearance.

“You trust me, don’t you?” Nene’s brows furl. Why was he asking her all of these questions all of a sudden? This was beginning to feel all too familiar, even if she couldn’t put her finger on why.

“Y...Yes?”

“Good.”

The knife in his hand dissipates as though it hadn’t even existed. Why was he putting that away? Wasn’t he going to fight the villagers--

Oh no.

Nononononono.

He wasn’t —

“H-Hanako-kun--” she says worriedly, “Hey, wait a second — AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Nene screams wildly as he suddenly scoops her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style before he turns away from the villagers and takes and leaps off of the cliff. It feels as though her heart has leaped into her throat, as though her stomach had just dropped right out of her body. Hanako laughs merrily as the wind pushes against them like an assault. “Look out belooooow!” He calls out. If Nene weren’t currently screaming at the top of her lungs and clinging to him with all of her might, she would’ve wrung his neck.

Her vision spots, a sort of fog entering her head. It’s as though she’d been thrust into static, white noise crackling in her ears.

Well, she thinks as the last traces of her consciousness begin to fade away. I’ll have time to strangle him later...

Among other things.

-----

Nene awakes sometime later, groaning as she rolls onto her back. Something soft is cushioning her and she’s wrapped up as though bundled in a blanket. Her clothes are still wet, leaving her shivering as she grabs the edges of the blanket, holding it tighter. She can hear what sounds like dripping water, as though a glass of water has been spilled. There’s a rhythmic beat to the drip, one that is almost calming enough to lull her back to sleep. Her vision blurs as she opens her eyes, sitting up as she rubs the tiredness from her eyes. Wherever she was, it was dark. Only a small amount of light seemed to slither through openings that were in the ceiling or roof of this place. There’s some kind of stone surrounding her, as well.

Was this… some kind of a cave?

She looks down, discovering that what she wasn’t actually a blanket, but heavy layers of clothing. They resemble the clothing that the villagers had worn. No, not the villagers… Hanako-kun had been wearing this as well when he had rescued her, hadn’t he?

“You’re awake? Good,” she jolts at the sound of Hanako’s voice. He’s sitting beside her, knees drawn up to his chest. He gives her a small smile, cheek resting against his knees. His hands brush over her bangs. “You know, Yashiro -- it’s probably not normal to pass out like that all of the time. Those fainting spells can’t be good for your heart. Were you just that excited to be in my arms? For shame!”

In his arms?

She’s puzzled before memories of leaping into the icy water below assault her. She must’ve turned into a fish! She was still drenched and her eyes narrow as she glared at the boy beside her. Jerk! It wasn’t the fainting spells that weren’t good for her heart, it was him! “A little warning would’ve been nice!” She barks back, sitting up fully now. She jabs an accusing finger towards him. “Why are you always throwing me from high places! That’s what’s not good for my heart!” she hits his arm, causing him to wince and rub at the abused skin. She chooses to ignore his innuendo-laden comment. Honestly! Did she have to be in love with such a perverted person?

Her heart flinches.

Right.

She’d realized that earlier, hadn’t she?

That knowledge makes her grow strangely rigid. She covers a hand over her heart. It was pounding so loudly now that she worries if he can also hear it. Throughout that entire ordeal, she’d been afraid of dying and never seeing Hanako-kun again. She can still feel all of those emotions, taking up space inside of her, threatening to explode. Nene isn’t sure that she’d be able to put the lid on them again.

Or if she even wanted to.

She’d made a promise to herself earlier, hadn’t she?

It hangs over her head like a guillotine. Nene’s face grows redder, palms clammier as she sits rigidly. She had made that promise — and now she would need to make good on it. She casts a cautionary glance towards Hanako, who had already slid closer to her. “Hmm? I did give you a warning, didn’t I?” He wraps one of his arms around her, snaking it around her waist as his chin moves to rest on her shoulder. She’d long since grown accustomed to this kind of invasion of space from him. Though, with her earlier revelation in mind, it’s as though she can feel his embrace that much more.

Even with their bond, Hanako’s body rarely had a solidness to it that seemed real unless he was touching her. He was like the moonlight filtering in through the cracks in a window. If she reaches out to touch him, he’d slip right through the gaps between her fingers fading into nothingness.

But now? It’s as though every nerve within her body is heavily aware of him. As though she’s realized something, so vital, so crucial that she’s stunned that it’s taken her this long to realize that he’s always been right there. Solid. Firm.

Real.

She only needs to reach out —

“You didn’t,” it’s an olympic feat to keep her words from jumbling together. It feels like her heart has been replaced by a drum, being struck with violent force. Did he hear it? He had to hear it! It was more like thunder than a heartbeat at this point!

“You just asked if I trusted you and then flung the both of us off of a cliff, mister!” She jabs an accusing finger against his chest, making him yelp and flinch back. Good, she had space. Space to think. Space was good. In fact, she scoots her butt a few inches in a different direction, putting even more distance between them. “Speaking of which, where even are we?” She’s sure that her voice is getting squeaky again. Kind of like she’s just breathed in a tank full of helium gas.

Not good.

He casts a glance towards their left, amber eyes narrowing towards that direction and she sees the shining of sunlight in the distance. “I found a cave along the bank at the bottom of the cliff,” he explains, following her like a needy cat would. Nanamine-san really had been onto something with that comparison. Hanako captures her in his arms again, rubbing his cheek along the exposed clavicle of her throat and she’s sure that at this point, her heartbeat best resembles the rolling thunder of a storm.

“I think we should stay here until it gets darker. Those people might have given up the chase by that point.”

It was a solid enough plan. The last thing Nene wanted was a fight, but the idea of staying alone with Hanako for that long was doing odd things to her insides. She feels all twisted up, like she’s a rag being rung dry as she sits behind him. Then again, she’d already spent an entire night alone with Hanako on the previous night. All alone in a darkened room, with nothing but the slight, dim lamp of a lantern to illuminate both of them. Come to think of it, that had been pretty intimate, hadn’t it!?

She hadn’t even considered —

“Aren’t you Gon’s lover?”

SKDFSLKDFS;KDFSKFIJS;LEDFSLFSF’S!

“At that point, we can search for Number 6’s Yorishiro,” Hanako continues, oblivious to her internal meltdown. “I’ll make sure that we escape as soon as possible. If I’m not careful you might just nearly end up as someone’s bride again,” his eyes sharpen as he glances at her out of the corner of his eyes, his smile dropping. He pinches her cheek as though to admonish her and Nene winces, releasing a whine of pure mortification.

“It’s not like I wanted to get married! Everything just happened so fast — and where were you all that time, huh?” She turns in his arms, her annoyance enough to make her momentarily forget all about her dilemma.

He had been beside her when she had first fallen asleep, only to be gone by morning. She couldn’t imagine that he had left her side after insisting that he’d stay awake in order to keep watch throughout the night. Hanako had been on edge ever since first arriving at this strange place, after all — not that she could blame him. Nothing had gone right since they had arrived. Even Hanako, who was normally as powerful and brave as a dashing knight had been subdued by Sumire-chan earlier.

Nene can’t remember ever seeing Hanako so quickly bested, not even when he’d been beaten by Yako-san back in her boundary. Even then, that had been temporary. He’d been able to hold his own until she had finally found Yako-san’s yorishiro.

To her relief — disappointment — she doesn’t know anymore — Hanako releases her, dropping his hands down to his side. He leans his head back against the wall of the cave, staring up at a small slither of light that peaks through an opening in the ceiling of the cave. “Our retainer friend found it prudent to incapacitate me while you took her place,” he’s dropped the teasing tone, voice going flat as his hands ball into fists, filled with tension. He uses one hand to pull the bill of his hat down, obscuring his eyes. “For a moment, I thought I wouldn’t make it in time.”

Large doe eyes widen, “You mean… Sumire-chan knew what was going to happen?”

Hanako makes a soft sound of affirmation.

No — she’d seemed so genuine when speaking of her love for number 6. She’d wanted to marry him. She didn’t think that kind of emotion could be easily faked. Wait -- hadn’t the villagers said something about that? It was difficult to remember most of what was being said during all of the shouting and confusion, but one thing had stuck out. “To run from your duty… What a failure of a Kannagi you are.

Duty.

If it was the duty of a Kannagi to literally wed death, then it made sense that a mortal would need to die to be with her betrothed. The villagers had all escorted her to the torii gate, speaking of marriage and showering her in congratulations, but had all grown panicked and angry when she had tried to run. Come to think of it, one of them had mentioned they hadn’t want to use the strange drug that they had poisoned her with. It all aligned in her mind neatly like pieces of a large puzzle being arranged.

“She… tricked me?” Nene asks faintly.

“She tricked us both,” he reaches for her hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “Remember what I said? She’s a retainer. Nothing but a puppet on strings--

“No!” Those words swell in her chest and then burst out of her before she can even stop them. “I — I know Sumire-chan isn’t like that!”

Sure, it wouldn’t have been the first time that Nene had saw the good within someone who didn’t deserve it. She’s oftentimes naive, easy to trick, and impulsive, ignoring red flags that were waving right in front of her face. Hanako had told her that she was a sucker for hot guys and apparitions and with all of her past experiences, she knows that he’s right about that.

Still.

She’d seen Sumire’s memories while in that dream-like state. At least, that’s what she thinks those feelings were. Glimpses of a life that had been cut far too short. Of feelings that had been manifested, and yet never fully requited. At least not in the way that Sumire-chan would have wanted. They had to have been her memories, right? It was like whenever she removed the seal of a yorishiro. Nene’s face scrunches up, lips pursed tightly and nose wrinkled as she thinks. Number 6 hadn’t shown a slither of remorse as he watched Sumire march steadily towards death. She tries to imagine what she would feel like in a similar situation -- if the person that she loved -- if Hanako had watched her die without even batting an eyelash.

Pain as sharp as a stab wound to the chest all but knocks the wind out of her.

She can’t even imagine it. No — she doesn’t want to imagine it.

Those feelings… they couldn’t be just an illusion? She knows…. She just knows that Sumire-chan was no mere puppet.

Hanako’s fingers cup underneath her chin, lifting her eyes towards his. “There’s no need to defend her,” he admonishes, lips pressing downward in apparent displeasure. His eyes harden. “You were nearly killed because of her. You understand that, right?” His voice has gone flat, like he got when there were all kinds of dark emotions swirling inside of him. She didn’t always understand it, but this was the side of Hanako that always unnerved her. He’s normally so playful, so kind to her that she often forgot that it existed at least until it appeared once more. He holds so many secrets, keeping his emotions bottled up inside of him, displaying them to no one but his own demons.

It’s only at times like this that Nene truly feels her age. She’s nothing but a silly, 15-year-old teenaged girl. She’s Yashiro Nene — dreamy, reckless, and totally gullible and he’s the honorable Hanako-san of the Toilet. He’d lived a life that was drenched in blood, sin and now walked a solemn path of duty and atonement in death. It’s always a little hard to wrap her head around.

It was… frustrating.

“That’s true,” she mumbles, sighing in a pleased way when he moves his hand up from her chin, cupping her cheek. It’s cool, lacking body heat as usual, but she appreciated the gesture, regardless. “But — I just… don’t think that she’s just a puppet, Hanako. She feels like she’s...real,” and if Number 6 had made her into his yorishiro — a real, breathing person with thoughts and feelings — then she must’ve been important to him? Had he changed his mind? If they had tried to make her take her place, then perhaps they were trying to save Sumire-chan from her fate?

Could she blame her for that?

If she could only be with Hanako-kun at the expense of another person, then…

She isn’t sure what choice she would’ve made. She didn’t think that she could actually hurt someone knowingly, but also couldn’t be upset with Sumire-chan for her betrayal. There’s an ache in her heart that hasn’t subsided since she’d been drugged. A lonely longing that nearly swallows her heart entirely.

Sumire-chan’s feelings...

She averts her eyes from Hanako’s oche ones, pulling the decorative haori snuggly around her shoulders and staring down at her knees.

“She must’ve had her reasons,” Nene says confidently. That had to be it. She’s absolutely sure of it.

“Yashiro.”

Hanako sounds disappointed, tone morose as he says her name like a parent scolding a child. “The only reason that she feels real is because she is a manifestation of Number 6’s memories,” he explains, though she can tell that there isn’t much patience within him at the moment. “She is a reflection of who he thought she was, but in the end, her will isn’t her own,” ochre eyes harden as his hand falls from her cheek and back to his side. She falls quiet, choosing to listen to him speak.

“He is looking for a kannagi,” he says softly. “To take her place. That’s why he took your friend Aoi in the first place. She’s not actually real. He wants to change that, as ridiculous as that even is,” when Hanako got like this, his words could become as corrosive as acid.

“Why is it ridiculous?”

“Huh?” Her question clearly catches him off guard as his eyes are drawn back to hers.

“Why is it ridiculous that he’s trying to find a way to keep the person that he loves by his side?” She asks quietly. She touches her heart; it’s throbbing with an emotion that wasn’t her own, and yet was so familiar. It’s a borrowed emotion, but it’s also her own. She understands Sumire-chan. She can even understand Number 6. “I think he’s being selfish like Yako-san was… and like how I used to be when I first sought you out for a wish, but I don’t think wanting to be with the person you love is ridiculous.”

Her near-death experience was still too close. She’d been desperate to see Hanako, too. Just to see him one last time. Had that been a selfish wish?

She’d even made a promise.

Hanako’s brow furls, “Yashiro… what they’re doing is putting people in danger,” he says, this time taking her shoulders in his hands. He squeezes them, as though pleading with her to understand. “It put you in danger.”

— And there it was.

Nene blinks, and the answer seems so obvious that she’s surprised that she hadn’t noticed it sooner. “You were afraid that I’d die.”

He nods, sighing as his head drops down, forehead brushing against her shoulder. “I.. thought that I wouldn’t make it to you in time. She had used her spiritual powers on me in the morning so there was nothing that I could do to stop those people when they came to get you. If I’d been any later…”

If he’d been any later…

That possibility remains unspoken, even as her chest grows tighter, something itchy forming in her throat. Words are lodged there and when she parts her lips, it’s hard to force her voice through them. “I would have died.”

“You would have died,” he repeats, nodding against her. His forehead is just as cool as the rest of his body. “We still don’t know when your lifespan will run out.”

That was true.

Then, he lifts his head, smiling in that gentle way that never failed to make her belly throb with yearning. It’s such a kind, sad smile. It was less Hanako and more like Amane, the boy that she had seen in Tsuchigomori-sensei’s memories, though that wasn’t exactly right, either. Hanako was a role that he plays, and he hadn’t been Amane in many years. Or perhaps this smile was the real him? The person beneath the role. The person that Amane had become.

He’d said before that the dead had no future — that nothing new could happen for those who had died, but… Nene’s not so sure that she believes that. He’d grown — changed, hadn’t he?

“Besides,” he tells her, giving her a playful but light flick on the forehead. “I told you that I’m going to grant your wish for you. You don’t doubt my abilities do you?” He pouts, donning the Hanako-san mask again effortlessly. A flirty gesture of a playful joke from him has always been an effective distractor for her, after all. She’s not sure why, but it makes her kind of angry. He’s rarely truly honest with her, not about his feelings at least.

Perhaps that is what spurs her on.

She’s not sure where her confidence comes from. It surges in her chest, making her grab the collar of his gakuran as she tugs him forward and all presses her lips against his.

He releases a startled gasp, even when their teeth clink together. It kind of hurts, honestly.

I messed up! She thinks, absolutely panicked. Her lips were throbbing from where she had all but headbutted (lipbutted?) him, and she goes rigid against him. Their lips were still mashed together, but neither of them moves an inch. Nene can’t help but think that this was nothing like the books or even her own fantasies. Hanako’s lips were cold, and he was stiller than a block of eyes, his entire body taut with tension. He seems shell shocked, but she can’t exactly blame him.

She’d moved before her brain had even had a chance to catch up with her body, after all. Nene was a lot of things and a quitter wasn’t one of them. I promised, she thinks to herself, steeling her resolve, even if she wants to pull from the badly aimed first kiss and run for the hills. She promised that she would tell him how she felt about him, and she couldn’t continue to have cold feet.

After all, he’d been just as scared as she had been before… right?

He hadn’t wanted to lose her, either.

And if a first kiss ended this pathetically, she thinks that she’d actually drop dead from humiliation. So, she pushes through it, softening her lips so that the kiss became less of an aggressive assault and more of a chaste peck. Come to think of it, his lips were rather soft, weren’t they? They feel nice, inspiring a warm, pleasant feeling in her chest. She pushes closer, lips pressing more firmly against his own and Hanako makes a sound that sounds remarkably like a dying, yowling cat.

It’s only then that she pulls back, face burning hot from her own boldness. “I’d never doubt you,” she says firmly. “I was just afraid before, back at the wedding. It was really scary but -- and for a second I thought I wouldn’t be able to see you again. That was scarier than when I thought I was doing to die,” she admits in a rush of words. Her heart thrums loudly, and suddenly it feels like the cave has grown excessively hot. She chances a glance at Hanako and nearly gasps herself at what she sees.

He’d been red back when she’d kissed his cheek before, too. Though now, it was though his skin had been dyed with the color, splotches of color burning across his face. He gapes at her, as though she had grown a second head. It’s like his body has turned to stone. It feels like an eternity before he finally speaks. “Yashiro,” his voice is barely a whisper, trembling the entire time. “What are you doing?”

The answer seems so obvious to her that she almost laughs. Well, she would’ve laughed if she didn’t feel nearly just as faint. She’s sure that her face looks just as comical as his own. Though, his reaction brings her some relief. He’s just as out of his element as she is. “What do you think it means when a girl kisses someone, Hanako-kun?” She wants to sound sophisticated and sure, but her voice is chipmunk high. She’s sure she sounds just like Black Canyon-chan right now. She still can’t quite believe herself, either. She’d kissed him! She kissed Hanako!

“I --,” he swallows like thick sludge is lodged in his throat. “You shouldn’t--.” he pauses as though trying to collect his thoughts. He tugs at the collar of his gakuran, fidgeting as though ants had crawled into his clothing. “You shouldn’t do things like that. I’ll get the wrong idea.”

Wrong idea? That statement throws her mind for a loop. How would he get the wrong idea from a kiss? She thinks that it’s pretty self-explanatory! Kisses usually only meant one thing, after all. He can’t be this dense, right? She had even told him that she liked him back in the painted world. She’s sure that he knows that, right?

“W-What’s the wrong idea?” She demands, small hands balling themselves into frustrated fists. “I told you before, right? I like you!” The words are out before she can stop them, but she’s far too annoyed to even care about that right now. Her first kiss and he has the nerve to look like his favorite hamster had just died.

His two index fingers press together as he fidgets, “I know,” he mumbles, then glances back at her, almost shy. “I just -- it’s probably not a good idea, you know.” She can tell what he must be thinking. He’s dead and she’s...not. Even if her wish is eventually granted, she will eventually need to leave the school and move on from Kamome academy. Her life would go on, and his wouldn’t.

It isn’t much of a future.

Nene had already thought about all of that. If it wasn’t her shortened lifespan, she’d often spend her nights agonizing over her feelings for the ghost boy. It was love, but a doomed one. A relationship with a supernatural had a time limit, even in the best of cases.

“There’s so much that you deserve,” he continues, and her breath hitches when he leans forward, lips brushing against her cheek. He hadn’t done anything like that since the incident with the confession tree. Her belly works itself into knots, especially when he wraps an arm around her waist. “I can’t give you any of that. I’m dead, Yashiro. I can only promise to fulfill your wish so that you can live to your 90s and go marry some lame fantasy prince.” He moves his free hand to ruffle her hair, smiling in that frustratingly self-sacrificial way. As though that was that. Like the discussion was over.

It feels strange to hear him echoing her previous desires. True, before meeting Hanako, all she could dream about was being swept off of her feet by a tall, stunning prince-like boy. All of those wishes feel hollow now, like emptiness gnawing at her heart.

She still wants love.

It’s just --

“I don’t want any of that unless it’s with you, Hanako-kun.” His eyes grow as wide as saucers, the light filtering from the top of the cave makes the gold within them sparkle like moonstones. He opens his mouth and she knows that he’s going to try to keep fighting her on this. He had so many reasons why this wouldn’t work.

I’m dead, Yashiro.

I can’t take you on dates, Yashiro.

I can’t grow old with you.

I’m bound to Kamome.

You deserve better than me.

Unfortunately for him -- she doesn’t want to hear any of them.

Nene surges forward, kissing Hanako again. This time, she sits up onto her knees, invading his space and taking his face into her hands. If she can’t convince him with her words, then perhaps she can convince through action? Nene tilts her head and parts her lips. There, that feels a bit better than just kissing with her mouth squeezed closed. Hanako’s lips are slightly moist. They shiver as she carefully another kiss to the corner of his lips, and then the other.

This didn’t feel as awkward as last time, but Hanako is still far too rigid for her liking. “We can go on dates in the boundaries,” she says as she pulls away. She loops her arms around his shoulders and moves to kneel in between his parted legs. Sometime in between her kissing him again, he’d sprawled back slightly, legs splaying and arms reaching out as though he wants to grab onto something, though he isn’t quite sure what.

She brushes her lips against his lips again, softer this time as she opens her mouth experimentally. That feels… kind of nice, actually. There are no fireworks, but she begins to feel a slight, almost ticklish feeling in the pit of her stomach. “Even if you can’t grow old with me. I’m sure that we’ll figure something out. I just… I just want to be with you, Hanako-kun,” she draws back and makes direct eye contact this time.

She needs him to understand that.

None of those superficial things mattered to her anymore. It would all feel empty without at least trying to pursue her feelings for him. “And you -- you keep saying that I deserve better. But what about you, Hanako-kun?” He tenses at her words, and she knows that she’s nailed the true crux of the problem. Her eyes soften, and she presses her forehead against his. “Don’t keep saying that I deserve better than you. When I want you — and you — don’t you deserve some happiness, too?”

His eyes squeeze shut, pained. His voice sounds raw, as though he’d cry at any second, “I don’t -- Yashiro. There’s so much you don’t know--” “And I’m telling you that I don’t care!” She yells, cutting him off. It hurts to hear him speaking that way about himself. She knows that he’s killed -- his own brother, no less. But, she’s seen enough of his past self to know that he wouldn’t have taken such drastic action without there being some sort of reason. She didn’t know what that reason was, or if there was any excuse for murder. He’d promised to tell her everything when he was ready to and she was more than prepared to wait for him.

There’s so much that she doesn’t understand about Hanako.

— But she can’t bring herself to judge him for any of it.

His expression is one of slack-jawed shock like he can’t quite believe that she exists. She kisses him again, harder this time. She wants him to understand. No — she needs him to understand. Luckily, it’s this kiss where Hanako seems to finally regain some of his brain’s function. Or at least, his body has finally caught up to what was happening. He releases a soft, almost strangled sigh as his hands wrap around her. It’s a tight, almost desperate sort of hug. It’s like he’s never hugged anyone before in his life like he’s starved for her.

He clutches at her back, fingers digging into the fabric of her kimono as he finally returns the kiss. His lips part, mouth opening as he draws her bottom lip into his mouth. Nene whimpers, a thrill of pure heat blossoming in her chest. One of Hanako’s sharper teeth caught on her lips. It drags along the swell of the tender flesh, and while it stings, it also inspires a feeling inside of that that is so sharp that she can’t help but shudder.

What -- is this?

“Yashiro,” Hanako murmurs against her mouth. “Do you really mean all of that?” His question is a probing one. He sounds nervous, excited, and terrified all at once. He changes the angle of the kiss, inclining his head as his tongue swipes along the underside of her lip. If her insides had been jumbled up before, it was as though one thousand tiny butterflies had all been jammed inside of her belly now. She can’t stop the soft whine from escaping from her. He’d -- he’d just spoken, hadn’t he?

“Y-Yes,” she admits, hands moving from their position up to his hair. She’s not sure why, but it feels right to do that. His hair is soft to the touch, like satin on her fingertips. Nene swipes his hat off of his head in her enthusiasm, and she’s not sure where it falls off to, nor does she care. “I want to be with you, Hanako-kun,” she repeats, feeling as though she is in a haze. Her brain feels like it’s filled with cotton candy or clouds as soft as the ones that had been in Shijima-san’s picture world.

She’d wanted to kiss him then, too.

He groans, this time ducking his head away from her mouth. She wants to protest from the lack of contact. Why had he stopped kissing her? Kissing had just started to feel very nice and she beginning to see what all of the fuss was about —

He kisses the underside of her jaw and she whines. She wants to cover her mouth. She’s sure that sounded pretty embarrassing, but Hanako doesn’t seem perturbed by the sound at all. If anything, it spurs him on, his lips dragging down from along her jaw as he peppers kisses wherever he can find exposed skin along her throat. The collar of the kimono was high, and he couldn’t get as much access as she would’ve liked.

Oh.

What is she thinking?!

“Yashiro — Yashiro,” he whispers her name against her skin. His lips part, open-mouthed as he draws the skin of her neck into his mouth. She trembles, goosebumps breaking out along her flesh from the feeling. Now that feels like fireworks.

She finds herself on her back, Hanako sprawled out on top of her and she’s not quite sure how they ended up in this position. Her heart feels so full -- like it might burst at any moment. Hanako runs his fingers through her hair, combing his fingers through her scalp and it feels so nice that she can’t help but close her eyes and moan. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, but she grabs both of his cheeks, tugging him down to kiss him silent once more.

“Don’t apologize.” Why would he be sorry for this? For making her feel like this.

For being as close to death as she was, she’d never felt more alive.

“I just — ,” he struggles with his words. “I want this — I want to be with you, too,” his eyes burn, and as he draws away. No, she thinks breathlessly. I want more. Kiss me more — “I feel like I’m dooming you. If — if we’re together… then can I really grant your wish?” His hands tremble as he moves a hand down to cradle her cheek. “What if I want to keep you all to myself? I just...feel so selfish.”

More. More. More —

She kisses each of his cheeks and then finds herself fumbling with the buttons of his gakuran, if only to gain access to his throat. He sounds so stunned, head falling against her shoulder as he presses his body against her. Did he feel the same way that she did right now? He had been covered in so many bruises in the past when he was alive. She wonders if anyone had ever touched him with the intent of causing joy — and not pain.

A tornado storms inside of her, feelings too intense for her to even put a name to overwhelming her. She can feel tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. Their situation wasn’t exactly a fair one. Two doors were set before her. Death or life. Both options would take her away from him. Though, when he holds her this way — and says such sweet, honest things, Nene thinks that she’d be alright with dying. At least if it was like this.

Was this -- how Sumire-chan felt?

“Then have me,” Nene whispers. “Let’s be together.”

He chokes on what sounds like a sob, eyes glittering with unshed tears as he smiles down at her. He chuckles.

“So many wishes. How can I keep up with granting all of them?” He uses his fingers to wipe at the tears that had begun to fall freely down her cheeks. He brings one of her hands to his lips, brushing them against the back of her palm. “You’re so needy, Yashiro.”

“It’s a boyfriend’s job to grant his girlfriend’s needy wishes,” she returns his smile. Then, she kisses him again, opening her mouth he can suckle on the tip of her tongue. She shudders -- yes, this is where she is meant to be.

“Is that so?”

“It is,” she affirms, quieting him again.

She isn’t sure how long they were meant to last -- but Nene does know this.

She’d brave it all for him.

----

The end.

----

#hananene #hanako #yashiro nene #jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #nene yashiro #yugi amane #my fanfiction #please leave a comment if you liked this fic!#also feel free to send me a message #i always want to talk about Hananene!

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