nbstevonnie

[nbstevonnie]

Still incoherent about the new chapters, but something just occurred to me about the mechanics of the player's influence on Kris. In chapter four, Kris defies us by maliciously complying with our command's exact words:

Compare this to a similar scene with Asriel's room in Queen's mansion, where they simply close their eyes as we do the motion of opening the door- here they change what the actual motion is based on the command's wording.

Earlier, they cover their mouth before they can be cruel to Ralsei:

Kris stops themselves from completing their own sentence- they don't have any evidence to just predict what the player will say next, so this confirms they are aware of the whole sentence they have to say before they say it. Kris isn't just being forced through physical actions by the Red Soul, they can actually hear the entire command.

I don't know what to do with this piece of information at all.

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me: damn some people really can't handle it when a character is unlikeable. not everyone's likeable! it adds flavour! it adds pizzazz! they are some of the most complex and interesting characters out there!

me when i'm the one who doesn't like the character:

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I still can’t get over what brits call musical notes like bro please I’m trying so hard to take this country seriously

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it was worth a try

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Source

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You can't just casually mention garlic cock man and not tell the story that's against the law

Are you sure you know what you’re asking of me? Are you sure? Well, okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. This post is long and contains description of genital injury.

So as you’ll know, I worked three and a half long, hilarious years at an NHS sexual health and contraception clinic. I loved that job, and packed it in because the Tory cuts to the service meant running it became hideously untenably stressful, but that’s a story for another time. 

One of my duties at the clinic was to take phone calls. Patients liked me on the phone because I have a nice voice and I’m basically completely unflappable, and they felt happy to tell me things. A vital skill in the wang biz.

One day, a man called. This was not unusual.  “Hello,” he said. “I need to see one of your nurses about my, er, my chap.”

“Righty-oh sir,” I said, “are you experiencing any symptoms that you’re concerned about? It’s just a yes or no kind of question.”

“Well,” he said, and I instantly felt a dark and terrible energy pulsate down the phone.  “Well… sort of. But, uh, it’s not symptoms of anything, it’s just…”

I would come to regret what I said next. “Is everything all right, sir?”

“Well.”  There was a pause. I heard fidgeting.  “I got a yeast infection.”

Phew, easy peasy. Yeasties are easy to fix. I sounded reassuring and buoyant. “Well that’s nothing to worry about, sir - if you don’t want to get anything over the counter from the chemist, we can-”

“No, no, that’s not the problem. Listen -” he sounded serious. “Listen, I’ll just tell you what’s the matter, and you’ll see what I mean.”

This is where, whenever I tell this story, I like to ask the listener to play a little game with me. The game is “Where Would You Tap Out?”  I’d have already tapped out by going to the chemist and getting some Canestan.

“I didn’t want any chemicals on my chap, so I decided to go for a home remedy.  Internet said garlic was good for yeast infections, and I’ve got a lot of garlic, so I figured that’d be all right.”

I made sympathetic noises.  Home remedies for yeast infections are normal, and garlic is actually quite effective.  “Oh good,” I said.

“I wasn’t sure how much to use, but I figured, I have a lot of garlic usually, so I minced a whole bulb.”

The dark energy wafting down the phone intensified.

“I packed it all over my, you know, knob, made a poultice.  Packed it all over the head, like a hat.  But, uh, I wasn’t sure how to keep it on..”

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to scare him off by sounding judgemental.

“..so I just duct taped it all on. Wrapped duct tape all round it.”

Still with us?  Tapped out yet?

“So er, that worked, kept it on nice and tight, and I left it on over night.”

Over night. All night with your cock mummified in garlic paste like some sort of fiendish chicken kiev.

“But, uh, when I took it off the next morning, well… garlic is…”

“Caustic,” I said, before I could stop myself. “Garlic is caustic.”

“Yeah! Yeah, it is!” he said, sounding cheerful that I, too, understood the Way of Garlic.  “So I unwrapped my dick and, well, it looked kind of like… melted.”

I sat, silent, on the phone. Already I’d missed 6 other calls, watching them sail by on the other line while this saga unfolded. 

“So I figured,” he continued, the terrible juggernaut barrelling unstoppably through this phallic disaster, “I should probably exfoliate it.”

“Exfoliate,” I echoed weakly.

“Yeah,” said this abject human disaster, misinterpreting my echolalic expression of horror as hearty encouragement.  “So I had a look around the kitchen -” he was in the kitchen for all this “- for anything I could use and got my brillo pad-”

For anyone not in the UK, that’s what we call one of these:

I must have betrayed myself and given a gasp of horror at that point, because he quickly reassured me - “No, no, no, it’s okay - it was a new one!” before going on to describe scrubbing the affected area to remove the alkaline chemical burn that he’d inflicted on his poor, blameless cock.

“So you want to come in because of… this?” I said, assuming he would want a new dick by this point.

“Oh no, no -” he said, jovial again. “No, it’s all fine - it just, my knob’s gone all… well, it kind of looks camo print now.  I was wondering if you could do anything about it looking camo print.”

No, sir. No, neither we nor anyone else can do anything about your camo print garlic cock mistake.

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nostalgia shaker charms

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Heartbreaking: the eldritch entity puppeting your body and ruining your life thinks you’re cool and wants to be your friend

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Hey imagine having a garden separated from the street by a high wall, and then building a ramp to your garden with a cat door at human head level, both at just the right height so your dog can peer outside without bothering anyone.

This way, the dog can safely observe the world outside and judge everyone without any risk of someone getting out or in. And why would you want the cat flap on human head level? Simple. Anubis mural.

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Mom says stfu or we’re not going to Dairy Queen

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I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna do the dishes!

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90s anime women were so fucking beauitful god bless. i miss them so much

[nbstevonnie]

incredibly elaborate bit me and @iclimbtreestofeelalive came up with while i was playing pokemon Y iii couldn't pick if i should put this on the art blog but whateverr hello if you scrolled down this far sorry for the long post okay i love you

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[nbstevonnie]

G: Okay, prize task. A: Yes, it's time. So get ready, close your eyes… [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS] ..hold on to your seats, this is the one we've been waiting for. It's going to change lives. It might change the planet. It is… ..the biggest anti-climax. [MUSIC STOPS] Greg will give big points for the thing which conversely has disappointed the most. The end. Your turn. ... G: Mathew, what have you brought in?

[nbstevonnie]

draw it bad and draw it weird and draw it catered only to yourself and draw it wobbly and draw it too small and draw it with the default brush and draw it without using references and draw it and leave it unfinished and draw it for the first time and draw it