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Why Negotiation, Conflict and Problem Solving?

Most of us have been bullied at some point, or said “it was a miscommunication,” had a disagreement at work, or felt like we weren’t powerful enough to say something. Conflict is all around us whether we like it or not, so how do we navigate it? My hopes are that this online journal can help organize my development in creative problem solving and be a resource for deeper learning later on.

I have chosen Tumlbr as a medium for the format as it has a seamless integration between both mobile and desktop, and is a popular outlet for idea collaboration and sharing. Although not typically utilized in the professional sphere, the ability to use hashtags to find ideas (and have others find yours) makes Tumblr unique as other blogs do not have this feature. As a form of social media, I am hoping that being able to combine a bit of leisure in writing my entries, will allow me to engage in a more organic and free mental state. Links for original sources will be shown with “repost” arrows at the top of any post that is not my own content. 

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Power

Power, perception and reality: what does it have to do with conflict and negotiation?

1. We’ve got to recognize power. It’s everywhere down to the very language we speak. If someone says “hi” to you, they are pulling you into their arena and you feel obligated to say “hi” back.

2. Reciprocity fuels power. Creating a need for an answer or response puts one in a position of power. Teachers asking questions to their students creates a need for reciprocity and power dynamic.

(If someone waved at you, would you feel the need to wave back or say hi? Probably. This is reciprocity need creation as a form of power)

3. Perception is important in recognizing power from other positions. Are you creating reciprocity, are you obligated to reciprocate, can you perceive shifts in power during conversations or interactions? Being perceptive allows you to gain deeper insight into power, how it changes and ultimately how to use it when you need to.

4. Reality is “truth.” That is to say truth can be relative based on experience and a created reality from in one’s eyes maybe be a different reality to someone else. Understanding reality as a creation of each person will allow you to understand conflict as at its cause beyond symptoms. In understanding the reality of those involved and utilizing various perspectives of conversation and interactions, you can begin to understand and use power changedly.

To fully understand and utilize power we’ve got to:

Recognize what and where power is-understand that creating moments for reciprocity is a method of power use-analyze and perceive how we and others use reciprocity and how power changes and manifests from it-realize the reality of others and the impact power has on influencing the reality of others.

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Getting to Yes : Roger Fisher and William Ury

“The method of principled negotiation developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project is to decide issues on their merits rather than through a haggling process focused on what each side says it will and won’t do. It suggests that you look for mutual gains wherever possible, and that where your interests conflict, you should insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will of either side. The method of principled negotiation is hard on the merits, soft on the people. It employs no tricks ’ and no posturing. Principled negotiation shows you how to obtain what you are entitled to and still be decent. It enables you to be fair while protecting you against those who would take advantage of your fairness.” 

1. Don’t Bargain over Positions

When the focus remains on staked positions by both parties, less attention is paid to the actual interests/ concerns of the negotiating parties . Any agreement will likely be less satisfactory to both parties than it could have been.

It will also be less efficient since deciding what position components to give ground / stand firm on is a complex, time consuming decision to make with incentive to draw it on longer. Effectively wasting time in negotiation process.

Conversely, a negotiation primarily concerned with the relationship could result in a sub-par agreement that does not address either’s interests if they both over-concede.

Principled negotiation based on merits: key points

People:      Separate the people from the problem.  

Interests:   Focus on interests, not positions.                                

Options:    Generate a variety of possibilities (for mutual gain) before deciding what to do. 

Criteria:    Insist that the result be based on some objective standard. 

on interests: “Compromising between positions is not likely to produce an agreement which will effectively take care of the human needs that led people to adopt those positions.“

on options: “ setting aside a designated time within which to think up a wide range of possible solutions that advance shared interests and creatively reconcile differing interests”

on criteria: “ insisting that his single say-so is not enough and that the agreement must reflect some fair standard independent of the naked will of either side. This does not mean insisting that the terms be based on the standard you select, but only that some fair standard such as market value, expert opinion, custom, or law determine the outcome. By discussing such criteria rather than what the parties are willing or unwilling to do, neither party need give in to the other; both can defer to a fair solution. ”

Negotiation stages:  analysis, planning, discussion.

- in each stage, revisit the key points of principled negotiation to frame the discussion and keep it efficient and amicable

2. The Method

Separating the people from the problem

Negotiators are people first: appeals to their self-interest or their reputational concerns can make them more empathetic. Be careful of misunderstandings - you misunderstanding them and vice versa. Also be careful of emotional conflict. The counterparty’s emotional state, reactions and confusions can bias them against your cause and make them uncooperative.

“ Whatever else you are doing at any point during a negotiation, from preparation to follow-up, it is worth asking yourself, “Am I paying enough attention to the people problem?"“

Every negotiator has two kinds of interests: in the substance and in the relationship

Need to balance both the interests in this particular negotiation as well as the longer term relationship. If negotiation conflict results in hamepered relationship - it could have bigger negative effects in terms of long-term client/ familial relationships. Often the relationship concern outweighs the substantive concern of any particular negotiation but the relationship can become entangled with the problem.

Separate the relationship from substance - and deal directly with the people problem. Evaluate negotiation on substance, relationship on it’s own valid merits. Use psychological techniques on psychological problems: 

Perception: differences in thinking about fears/hopes/facts cause problem and can open a solution if brought into alignment. Don’ t deduce their intentions from your fears! 

– Put yourself in their shoes: try to understand their motivations and the emotional force they hold their views with- while withholding judgment. 

–Discuss each other’s perceptions: making them explicit - especially ones that don’t hamper the agreement and are favorable to the counterparty and without blame.

– Look for opportunities to act inconsistently with their negative perceptions: send a different message from what they expect

– Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process:  If you want the other side to accept a disagreeable conclusion, it is crucial that you involve them in the process of reaching that conclusion. Don’t leave the hard part until last. “Even if the terms of an agreement seem favorable, the other side may reject them simply out of a suspicion born of their exclusion from the drafting process. Agreement becomes much easier if both parties feel ownership of the ideas.”

– Face-saving: make your proposals consistent with their values: “Face-saving reflects a person’s need to reconcile the stand he takes in a negotiation or an agreement with his principles and with his past words and deeds.” Don’t underestimate the importance

Emotion: 

Communication: 

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Are you skilled in stress/anger management? Managing conflict? You will always revert to default thinking and behavior? Are both healthy and skilled?

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Evaluating Ourselves: What’s the importance of self-assessment? I really believe that self-assessment gives us the opportunity to objectively evaluate ourselves and see where our strength and weaknesses lie. It removes any emotion we have about others who evaluate us and allows us to behest and self-reflect. In the context of conflict management and negotiation, emotions run hot! Knowing your strengths and weaknesses can help you step back and take size of the situation before attempting to resolve or making it worse. through self assessment and reflection, I have built a baseline analysis that outlines not only my strengths and weaknesses, but goes one step further and attempts to analyze what some external opportunities and threats exists based on my strengths and weaknesses. 

Two of more dominant styles of conflict resolution and negotiation are collaboration and competition. Although, these seem contradictory, looking at some of the outlined threats above shows that my ability to navigate conflict is largely driven by communication, time, and resources. Keeping that in mind, I know that I can only control communication, and in keeping communication open I should consciously try to maintain a collaborative environment and not allow the constraints of time and resources to dictate how I attempt to negotiate or resolve conflict. I also need to keep in mind that my emotional intelligence can always use improvement and that if something isn’t working not to rush or force it (feats of competitive styles). Relying on being open and goal-oriented (my strengths) I hope that when impasse seems inevitable I can employ some creativity to attempt another approach or think of an unconventional solution.

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CONFLICT: THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

For many of us, myself included, conflict connotes war, fights, major disagreements, etc. It is something to be avoided when possible, but what about in the workplace. While I generally try to avoid conflict with people I don’t know or members of the public, one place I do not have the luxury of avoiding conflict is the workplace. As a manager, I often need to confront my staff, or serve as an intermediary for staff conflicts. 

Margaret Heffernan does a great job at expanding how I conceptualize conflict and remembering that at the end of the day conflict is a framework for opportunity and the chance to make change. Making change is messy, and even the most well-intentioned and planned changes, there is still conflict. In thinking back to my SWOT analysis, I believe that in changing my conception of conflict to something more positive or more possible, that I can keep communication and creativity open. This will help keep myself more collaborative. If I can stay collaborative and promote that as preferred style for handling conflict in the company, then perhaps the culture of conflict in the company can begin to change. Working in a small organization especially in leadership, I often forget that my attitude and actions set a precedence for the future. So whether in mediating, or resoling conflict that involves myself- I want to try to remember Heffernan and conflict as opportunity. 

So much of the battle could already be won if I can help show others (and remind myself) to approach problems (with other people especially) that this is an opportunity to create change, create results, and help move past discomfort. Having people come to the table with the mindset of let’s get things done would be much more helpful than trying to take people and get them to that point.

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Destroy the idea that creativity is only related to art.

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Problem Solving and Decision Making - a visual approach

How do you make toast? What does this have to with problem solving? I was fairly lost too, at first, listening to Tom Wujec. Then, he began discussing the idea of using visualization to show how we can identify major steps and transitions in a process by drawing pictures. 

Further, these pictures of the process allowed people to work together to illustrate an efficient and complete process system, and all without verbal communication. He even suggests that verbal communication makes this process less efficient. 

So I took this idea which excited me, and perplexed me a bit and decided to implement the idea in my own workplace. My idea was to use his visualization method and look at our Customer Relationship Management process. This is a process that involves 2 companies (ours and our web marketers), 3 in-house staff members, and 1 or 2 staff members at our web marketers. For the visualization practice, I gathered the 3 staff members it involves from our company including myself, an admin, and a sales person. Our goal was to draw components of the CRM process on pieces of paper and work (nonverbally) to agree on the best system that everyone understood. After about 2 hours (this isn’t a complex or long system) we managed to come up with a good system process with major and minor components mapped out that worked for everyone. And everyone understood their role, and the order in which the process should be done. Great it was a success, but that wasn’t my major takeaway. 

What I learned from this process was not only in where our CRM faced bottle necks or discrepancies, but in the initial drawings we created. When we each completed our preliminary process drawings, they each began and focused with the responsibility function we each represented. I.e. sales began and centered on sales, and so on with admin and management. In drawing our pwn process perspective and working together we were able to move past our own sight and objectives to create something that worked better for everyone! This really exhibited how it is easy to ignore a greater whole or other components that aren’t our responsibility and shift our focus to the process revolving around our own tasks. I believe that this practice showed a potential for other problems to be identified as we all have a better understanding of how we approach our business’s systems. This insight was more valuable to me as a manager in the long run than working out some system kinks (although that was certainly helpful too)! 

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I found this rather humorous as we’ve been dealing with an incident in our company that’s been spanning over several months. We keep taking a cooling-off period and during that time it seems to resurface. At this point, we’ve used a lot of time and conjured a lot of negative feelings (which is very much felt in a small business) and so every time it comes up again I can’t help but think to sweep in under the rug and not make it worse. At this point I’d settle for better if not fixed. At this point it seems hard to justify not letting someone go rather than sacrifice of our company’s generally family-like, friendly and collaborative culture.

If you can’t fix it, at the very least don’t make it worse

- therapy 27.3.18 // life skills for crappy situations

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I tumbld across this visual and idea from a student taking a creative problem solving course at the American University in Cairo, and thought that this was a really nice synopsis of essential facets to problem solving. Some good thoughts as a “little tool” to remember and keep in mind to progress through my own coursework and program.

The Magical Four

Four Essential Attributes to Problem Solving

Fluency The generation of multiple problems, ideas, alternatives or solutions.

Flexibility The ability to process ideas or objects in many different ways given the same stimulus.

Originality Getting away from the obvious and commonplace, or breaking away from routine bound thinking.

Elaboration Structuring complex thoughts or ideas. Being able to effectively communicate a braided process.

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In studying conflict, negotiation, and creative problem solving, self-study and further research is an important component in bringing course concepts and outside knowledge together. In reading the book “The Joy of Conflict Resolution...” by Gary Harper I began to understand how to employ concepts into real life and my workplace. The concepts and ideas from this book discuss the various roles we can play in a conflict situation and shows how our responses and conflict can create drama, move us to other roles, but ultimately keep us wrapped up in a conflict drama focused on each other. Harper, showed me how to create an atmosphere of collaboration and work towards fixing the root problem.

After reading this book and discussing it with my boss, we were able to have a really good conversation using language we both understood from the book to give us a different perspective on a situation we’ve been dealing with for several months. With ideas from the book we kind of reverse-engineered the drama and we were able to help identify the root cause and the moment in which our “victims” in the drama first felt hurt, unrecognized and began to cast roles onto other staff members causing the full drama to ensue. This was a great break through as this had been causing a negative atmosphere amongst our small company, We are still far from being back to normal, but we have made some good progress in bringing about resolution. 

Looking back at my self-assessments, this book had the added benefit of giving me some ideas and methods to lean towards my collaborative conflict management style. Overall, this book had a great many benefits in helping me with the course and in real-life application as well. 

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Tom Wujec on “How to Make Toast”

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Negotiation- from no to yes!

Earlier in this feed I posted an entry based on William Ury’s process for negotiation, not knowing he would come back up later. I will post the video of the talk I am referencing in a separate post for easier viewing and reading of this post. Essentially, Ury talks about finding a third side to conflict (outside of yourself and the other party), and I took this to be either a perspective or an actual person. This side allows us to see our similarities. It allows us to see the actual problem both parties are facing, and allows us to focus on getting to a win-win situation. Without a third side we have two parties talking at each other focused on their own positions and winning, rather than focusing on their common interest and cooperating. 

Although I found this to be insightful to negotiating itself, I really saw this apply to problem-solving (which is sometimes what negotiation is). Specifically, thinking back to the visualization practice I worked on with my company. It was not until I took a different perspective and looked at our Customer Relations Management process from a viewpoint that tried to improve it and make it more efficient with everyone involved that I saw how position based each staffer was. Through this process, we were all able to enter or become the third side in which we saw that our common interest was working together to make the CRM process more efficient and easier for everyone involved. And although we didn’t “formally” negotiate we all did have to agree on a final and improved process-having all had a hand in shaping the process we were all ready to accept a final product. 

In a sense, I see two outcomes here from my experience. 1.) The third side is a great way to shift hesitant parties, or even parties that are unconscious of their own position based stance, into an interest based stance to focus on common problems. 2.) Although we looked at visualization as a method of problem solving it works really well at creating a third side and seemed to reduce the emotional, laborious and time consuming negotiation part of reaching a final resolution! I’m seeing how these concepts and ideas are coming full circle now!

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William Ury’s walk from No to Yes! 

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Creativity

Wrapping up Negotiation, Conflict & Creative Problem Solving

In learning about various professional, academic and real-life based methods and ideas surrounding negotiation, conflict and problem solving we’ve been asked to consider creativity. During my self-assessment, we evaluated our levels of creativity and I scored about where I though I would be. In the upper middle, with some room to grow. 

My conception of creativity has always been more traditional in the artistic sense. Making something original and tangible. The course and the final component and our discussions have really emphasized the idea of challenging our ideas of what creativity is and how we practice it. Something my instructor mentioned in a discussion really stuck out to me, and that was that creativity requires practice and requires us to actively pursue different ways of looking at and doing things. 

And this makes a lot of sense. While I may not have the time or ability to sit down and paint a portrait or sculpt a bust during work hours, I can certainly go about challenging myself to look at things differently and pursuing different avenues. I’ve also been considering having the confidence to fail, or to make not good discoveries. I am sure that many of the things I do at work, are done that way because they make sense and are efficient. So being creative doesn’t always have to mean coming up with a better wheel, so to speak. Not everything I work on is going to end up being a million dollar idea. But, that should not stop me from looking at things differently. I can start small if i’m not sure where to start, or I can start by looking at a problem that has surfaced. 

Additionally, having knowledge of the tools and methods we have learned and encountered throughout the class provide the opportunity to combine them in new ways, or to take a method and apply it to a different scenario. With the knowledge I’ve obtained, and the challenge to look at things in a fresh perspective, I want to begin by looking at our hiring and retention practices. This is our largest cost driver, and has a huge impact on our company’s ability to grow, which is part of our strategic plan. Without unemployment so low, finding good candidates and keeping them has been a challenge in 2018, and so I’m hoping to look back at some examples and see how creativity and problem solving can help me find the root of the problem and be proactive in preventing further issues.