neeahtao

[neeahtao]

The nature of depression is it makes you feel empty.

Kris lost everything they had known in one fell swoop.. their family fell apart, they stopped doing the things they loved, stopped spending time with the people they cared about, stopped trying in school. Their side of the room could have been full of the things that made them them at one point, but with no motivation or passion anymore, they threw it all away, their room becoming symbolic of how they feel, empty.

That emptiness, no ambition, no control, it would have made them the perfect candidate to be our vessel. That’s why Gaster and subsequently Carol, chose Kris.

[neeahtao]

ok ok ok but imagine this…

to have kris and berdly go to the festival together you’re either playing a neutral route or pacifist route because he’s obviously in a coma or something in the weird route so non of the fucked up shenanigans that truely make kris hate the player because the player hadn’t given them any reason to believe they’re working against them or anything sketchy like thaaaat and it’s just the whole hating the situation and being forced into the role of a puppet that fuels kris’s behaviour toward the player

sooo i imagine the pacifist player as having a certain dynamic with kris… like thisss

the player is just like a bit of a nuisance, making decisions for Kris based on their perception of things without much consideration for Kris’s feelings or opinions on the matter, aka the date with berdly

thinggggg is i could totally see Kris coming around to it, starting to develop feelings after spending some time with berdly in a romantic context and the player celebrating their matchmaking abilities

[neeahtao]

Holy fucking shit, I just had a revelation about Chapter Two’s Dark World. Its entire existence revolves specifically around Noelle and Berdly. The main antagonist, the Queen, seems to be a reflection of both of their mothers specifically. The Queen isn’t a universal mom, she’s just the personification of Noelle and Berdly’s toxic relationships with their mothers.

Noelle’s mother is ambitious and overbearing and sets high expectations for Noelle. Constantly feeling the pressure of high standards, she developed low self-esteem and a people-pleaser attitude; she feels fearful of her mother and trapped by her expectations. She spends the whole chapter being hunted down by the Queen so she can be locked away and used by the Queen as a tool, without consideration for what Noelle wants or how she feels.

For Berdly, the Queen sees him as a burden. He spends the whole chapter trying his best to impress her, and she continues to avoid and ignore him. He felt, as a child, that he was forgettable, and so he latched onto the hope of being appreciated and recognised for his intelligence. He set his own high expectations for himself and pushed himself to appear impressive out of insecurity caused by neglect and a need for praise and notoriety, in an attempt to impress his parents and receive the attention he so desperately craved.

The puzzles in the Dark World consist of spelling tests, the very thing that set Berdly on his path of academic achievement and established the dynamic between himself and Noelle. One of the puzzles literally has us spell out “December” with Noelle, the word that cost her the spelling bee, which Berdly feels a lot of guilt over. The puzzles also become more complicated, forcing Berdly to reckon with his own intelligence and confront the arrogance he uses as a front to hide his insecurity.

The other main puzzle involves redirecting the mice, addressing one of Noelle’s fears in a way that forces her to confront and overcome it. It starts with her facing something small she’s afraid of, giving her the confidence to work her way up to facing bigger fears, ultimately allowing her to speak up for herself against a caricature of her greatest fear: her own mother.

It makes me think about how Chapter One’s Dark World helped Susie open herself up to other people by helping her realize she’s a good and caring person, even if she tries hard to close herself off from others by appearing mean and scary. It forces her into the role of a hero, making her face her own reluctance to accept that she could be more than the villain role she’d resigned herself to, breaking the cycle of negative reinforcement she’d found herself trapped in.

I mean, the Dark Worlds are a product of how the Lightners that create them perceive things. It makes sense to assume that this could extend to forming in ways that help the Lightners in whatever way they most need at that time. Ralsei attributes their own existence to purely being there to assist the Lightners in whatever way they need, that is technically the purpose of Darkners and by extension the Dark Worlds.

[neeahtao]

[neeahtao]

Guysss Kris was an unsettling type of creepy, not a psychopath!!!

[neeahtao]

i might post deltarune stuff for a while :P

LOOK AT THEMMMM THEYRE SO ASKLFJDKFLJDLK

[neeahtao]

EVERYBODY SHUT UP DELTARUNE TOMORROW

[neeahtao]

[neeahtao]

[neeahtao]

gonna post some random stuff from my homestuck folder cause i haven't been posting in a while :3

[neeahtao]

/neutral

[neeahtao]

do you headcanon john a specific race or do you just draw him as a general darker skinned race? :3c if you hc a specific race im curious to know why you picked that specifically, if there are any reasons!!

oh anon, if only you knew of the since lost pages of ramblings about this topic I'd written. My homestuck notes folder was the library of Alexandria and I am the hubris of man. I'll try and summarise what I can remember Alpha kids races determine the races of the beta kids Jane - Chinese Jake - British, Portuguese Roxy - African-American (Nigerian ancestry), German, Scottish Dirk - Caucasian American So John would be Chinese, British, Portuguese and the others are self explanatory

[neeahtao]

Me checking on one of my beloved ao3 fics that hasn't been updated since 2017

[neeahtao]

dirkjohn roommates AU is making me think of the possibility of Brain Ghost Dirk 2: This Time It’s Jegbert…

…which probably can’t be a thing, because BGD was the result of the specific unique shenanigans caused by the interplay between dirk and jake’s classpects. but on the other hand, i think it’d be neat. i dunno i might be onto absolutely nothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I propose telepathic link :3

Dirk uses his power to control the narrative to tell his boyfriend off for being a mess, John can hear him because something something narrative something something retcon powers

[neeahtao]

Do you hc any part time jobs for john and dirk in the roommates au?

I wish I could just respond to this like a normal person :D

here’s some background information before I start rambling

So taking place after the credits, we know that Jane has already established Crocker Corp and Jake has founded Skaia Net Enterprises on Earth C. I assume Crocker Corp is a technology, military, and baked goods? production company, while Skaia Net could focus on Jake’s expedition work, battleship production, and television network.

From the credits and epilogues, we know that Dirk played a major role in both Jane and Jake’s ventures on Earth C. At this point in the timeline, he is likely designing and prototyping most of the tech and robotics.

Meanwhile, John is depressed, spending his early 20s isolated in his house, watching old movies and probably eating junk food. He tries to recreate the happiness he felt as a kid, relying on nostalgia-driven dopamine hits to distract him from the grief of losing his father.

I think what contributes to this is that John’s self-worth is deeply tied to how others perceive him, playing into his subconscious insecurities. He relies entirely on external motivation—when someone tells him what to do or validates his actions, he follows through. This worked in a high-stakes environment like the game, where there was always a clear goal and people guiding him. But once that structure is gone, and no one is there to push him forward, he stagnates.

He doesn’t place much value on self-improvement or internal motivation. While he struggles with insecurity and low self-esteem, he is also stubborn—if there’s no external force compelling him to change, he resists the idea that he should.

Dirk on the other hand, he is motivate by self-improvement. Growing up entirely self-reliant, he never waited for direction—if he had, he wouldn’t have survived. Providing for himself was a necessity, and that mindset shaped him into someone who constantly pushes himself. Whether it’s achieving his own goals or helping the people he cares about reach theirs, he puts immense pressure on himself to always be productive.

John doesn’t necessarily need a job or some greater purpose to be happy, but he does need motivation to take better care of himself, spend more time with friends, and find something to keep him productive. Since he ties much of his self-worth to what he can do for others he is susceptible to getting caught in a cycle, isolating himself, avoiding friends, and not contributing anything being both the cause and result of his depression. The longer he stays in this rut, the more reluctant he becomes to reach out, fearing he’ll be seen as a disappointment.

Both of their relationships with external validation are ultimately self-destructive. However, Dirk internalizes it more intensely than John. When things go wrong, John can separate his actions from his character—he sees the issue as something he did wrong, not something inherently wrong with him. Dirk, however, is much more personal in his perception of failure. He doesn’t just see mistakes as things to fix—he sees them as flaws within himself that he must constantly work to correct.

[neeahtao]

I suppose i should actually post the premise of the roommates au…

“and they were roommates” au

This takes place not long after the credits of Homestuck. John (and Jane) have just turned 20, while everyone else has been 20 for a few months now.

John is in the midst of depression. He is struggling to look after himself properly, he misses his father, and he feels haunted by how empty the house feels now that he’s living there alone. He doesn’t feel like he has anything to contribute to Earth C, and it’s killing him inside. He feels like a disappointment to his friends and his father.

Dirk had been living with Jake for the last four years, but tensions started to grow as Jake felt that Dirk was holding on to some hope that they would get back together, and their living situation was preventing them from moving on. So, Jake decides to get a place with Jade. Only a few weeks later, Dirk isn’t coping well with living alone again after spending his adolescence in isolation. After talking it over with Dave, he is invited to stay with him and Karkat at their place.

John, occasionally—when he can bother to get out of bed—will go over to Dave and Karkat’s to play video games, watch movies, and eat Karkat’s home cooking. When he’s there, he notices that Dirk is around but never joins them for long, if at all. Dirk is keeping his distance from John because he doesn’t know him that well and just isn’t great socially, but the added fact that John looks similar to Jake doesn’t help.

John, curious about Dirk and his elusive nature, can’t help but ask questions. He hears from Dave the gist of Dirk’s situation, and John realizes how much he relates to what Dirk is going through. Despite the awkward tension John has picked up on between himself and Dirk, he figures that if Dirk needs a place to stay more permanently, he can offer his father’s old room—even if the thought makes him feel a bit sick. He hopes that having someone around might push him to get his shit together.

[neeahtao]

anyone wanna see my oc? no? too bad :3

he is a lime blood on earth c and the leader of a small extremist rebellion before the events of the epilogue

he despises all of the “gods” of their universe, both the humans and trolls, believing that they were not fit to try and establish a society at 16 and their selfish actions are what set in place the systems that oppress his race

I like to think all lime bloods (including mutations obviously) are inherently drawn to political roles with their sense of righteousness guiding them, making them perfect leaders, rebels, activists, ect