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Postcanon Xiyao fixit (LXC gets to die too)

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Nielan fumbling JGY: Can two jocks with OCD really be classist enough to fumble a beautiful 5'7" transmasc top with an attachment disorder and a terminal obsession with them both? The answer is yes with stunning ease

Xiyao fumbling NMJ: Plot of MDZS

Nieyao fumbling LXC: Potentially impossible? Stand UP Xichen

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The thing is why would you make Nielan top. They'd get so scared. Even LXC. They both need JGY inside them so bad it makes them look stupid. And you'd deny them this.

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I’ll never be over the fact that when the present timeline resumed in The Untamed there was no mention of LXC for several episodes and I was worried sick that he might have died in the course of those 16 years, only for him to casually show up all smug few episodes later and be like:

“I just spent a whole month with JGY where we engaged in deep, long, and thorough ahh… conversations every single night. Also, A-Yao is sooo fit. Every inch of his body is absolutely flawless and perfect.”

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never give up on the denial stage of grief. 95% of grievers give up right before it brings the person back

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The Mushroom One

this might be one of the craziest (explicit) scenarios I have cast Lan Xichen in so far, but this one runs on Scum Villain wife plot logic because SVSSS has irrevocably altered my brain chemistry and I just think the wife plot devices are neat and if SVSSS fanfic gets to use them then so do I. Putting lxc in situations..forever my passion

so. onto the scenario.

In SVSSS (SPOILERS!!) there is a plot device named the Sun-Moon-Dew Mushroom that basically allows you to clone a copy of your body by carefully cultivating the mushroom buds + using spiritual energy & sunlight & moonlight. This copy has overpowered spiritual energy, none of the strong injuries/ailments from the current body (in SVSSS this is Without-A-Cure (basically a chronic illness)), and is an empty shell till the person dies and their soul transfers to the body.

My wack-ass scenario was : suppose these find their way into MDZS somehow, and lxc has the bright idea to use these to cultivate new bodies for Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. This is all well and fine, and might even help him get out of his depressive slump (set after post-canon/Guanyin Temple)

However. In order to grow, they require careful cultivation & spiritual energy. So in the process, lxc circulates his qi and feeds it to the buds everyday, so that they grow into healthy bodies. (Because I applied porn logic to this), dual cultivation works 2x as well. But the bodies have to be almost finished for this to work. So the gist of it is -> cultivate mushroom bodies -> decide to dual cultivate with the empty shells to foster growth and hopefully make the bodies stronger for nmj and jgy -> get depressed because they're dead and this is basically proxyfucking/depressed reminiscing or whatever -> the souls inhabit the bodies one day and nmj and jgy wake up in the middle of lxc bouncing on it or smthing -> dual cultivation (with nmj & jgy actively participating) occurs

tl;dr: reusing of SVSSS plot device Sun-Moon-Dew Mushroom that clones bodies -> lxc uses it post-Guanyin Temple to clone nmj and jgy so he can hopefully bring them back -> mushrooms require qi so dual cultivation is more effective -> lxc is basically bouncing on it (and by it I mean. heh) all day every day in efforts to make bodies grow faster -> big sad because they r still dead -> one day nmj and jgy's souls transfer to the mushroom body in the middle of lxc bouncing on it -> active dual cultivation (jgy/nmj/lxc)

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I need lan xichen full of eggs. NOW.

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YESS I LOVE THIS I WILL GLADLY FOLLOW YOU ON THIS JOURNEY

I did see lxc/yqy before and I think it's good (guiltmaxxing/griefmaxxing guys!!!) also OMG SONGXUEXIAO BIG BRAIN YESSSS

I think I did read a lxc/xl fic a week ago. It was nice. I liked it :)

LXC X LI YU (the pet fish) LET'S GOOOOO the thing is how would he meet the fish is the responsibility of taking care of the fish his. if it is then he going to guiltmaxx about fucking his pet fish. so many questions and so many things to explore

LXC/JYL HELL YEAH I REMEMBER U POSTING ABOUT THAT (the post about "these faggots bi af nowasays" got me dead on the floor)

anyways love to see what you cook up next like it's banger after banger!!!

Thank you for speaking the truth and well I just know he has complexes and while I believe he is Not Picky I also think that he needs to start off getting railed bc if sex is not something that happens To him then he gets scared. I know his primary daydream is being harmless <- guy whose primary WIP of recent days has been riffing on the concept of Lan Xichen writing self insert erotica RPF

omg tumblr user ahdo5?? in my inbox??? lowkey I got inspired to start this blog because of Miyin hehe

I LOVE BOTTOM LAN XICHEN and I believe very strongly that his personal complexes & beliefs require him to Get Railed. he can't want anything, so if he has sex other people have to want to rail him so it can happen to him and he doesn't have to Want Anything (totally normal lan xichen™ thought process)

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YIPPEE YIPEE YIPPEE wish you luck with the 6 billion other things and also XICHEN RAREPAIR MONTH OOOH honestly I don't have a good concept of xichen rarepairs like I saw lan xichen/su she once but it was a lxc/jgy/ss threesome fic so I never really saw it in isolation. oh and I saw nie huaisang/lan xichen once or twice ig.

have tons of fun in your mdzs hyperfixation!!!!

Thank you for speaking the truth and well I just know he has complexes and while I believe he is Not Picky I also think that he needs to start off getting railed bc if sex is not something that happens To him then he gets scared. I know his primary daydream is being harmless <- guy whose primary WIP of recent days has been riffing on the concept of Lan Xichen writing self insert erotica RPF

omg tumblr user ahdo5?? in my inbox??? lowkey I got inspired to start this blog because of Miyin hehe

I LOVE BOTTOM LAN XICHEN and I believe very strongly that his personal complexes & beliefs require him to Get Railed. he can't want anything, so if he has sex other people have to want to rail him so it can happen to him and he doesn't have to Want Anything (totally normal lan xichen™ thought process)

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I HEAR YOU I'M HEARING YOU SO BADDDD

I, too want to post long essays. However, I will probably have to reread mdzs before I do that to a) keep my info up-to-date and b) collect evidence to cite my sources ( I LOVE CITING MY SOURCES GUYS NEVER CATCH ME PURPOSEFULLY SPREADING MISINFORMATION )

this is a tiny tangent but ougggh I need lxc merch RIGHT NOW. my friend bought me a keychain of lwj once thinking he was xie lian 💀 and that's all well and good but I learned there was a lxc version and I NEED HIM NOW I NEED HIS STUPID SMILEY FACE ON MY BAG I NEED IT I NEED TO BAT HIS KEYCHAIN AROUND LIKE PLAYING WITH A CAT TOY

I also need to draw him but I fear I am bad at drawing men ( I do not draw them at all ) so he'll prolly look chopped as hell 💀💀💀

I would rant abt x!cheng but like I don't really have the energy right now :( I need to charge up my haterisms to the max so I can provide compelling arguments and concise ideas..

Thank you for speaking the truth and well I just know he has complexes and while I believe he is Not Picky I also think that he needs to start off getting railed bc if sex is not something that happens To him then he gets scared. I know his primary daydream is being harmless <- guy whose primary WIP of recent days has been riffing on the concept of Lan Xichen writing self insert erotica RPF

omg tumblr user ahdo5?? in my inbox??? lowkey I got inspired to start this blog because of Miyin hehe

I LOVE BOTTOM LAN XICHEN and I believe very strongly that his personal complexes & beliefs require him to Get Railed. he can't want anything, so if he has sex other people have to want to rail him so it can happen to him and he doesn't have to Want Anything (totally normal lan xichen™ thought process)

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It's ok I love reading your big brain posts about miyin and house divorce au and the weird psychosexual shit 3zun have going on...

I also think there is not enough xichen-centric stuff in his tag. It's either twin jades content/foreground wangxian background one sentence supporting character lan xichen/ooc x!cheng slop/mischaracterization/headcanons I don't agree with, etc. PLS SOMEBODY START WRITING ESSAYS ABOUT THIS DEPRESSED REPRESSED MAN PLS he needs to be going through it and also maybe get a bit 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 as a treat and then become depressed ❤️

Thank you for speaking the truth and well I just know he has complexes and while I believe he is Not Picky I also think that he needs to start off getting railed bc if sex is not something that happens To him then he gets scared. I know his primary daydream is being harmless <- guy whose primary WIP of recent days has been riffing on the concept of Lan Xichen writing self insert erotica RPF

omg tumblr user ahdo5?? in my inbox??? lowkey I got inspired to start this blog because of Miyin hehe

I LOVE BOTTOM LAN XICHEN and I believe very strongly that his personal complexes & beliefs require him to Get Railed. he can't want anything, so if he has sex other people have to want to rail him so it can happen to him and he doesn't have to Want Anything (totally normal lan xichen™ thought process)

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Thank you for speaking the truth and well I just know he has complexes and while I believe he is Not Picky I also think that he needs to start off getting railed bc if sex is not something that happens To him then he gets scared. I know his primary daydream is being harmless <- guy whose primary WIP of recent days has been riffing on the concept of Lan Xichen writing self insert erotica RPF

omg tumblr user ahdo5?? in my inbox??? lowkey I got inspired to start this blog because of Miyin hehe

I LOVE BOTTOM LAN XICHEN and I believe very strongly that his personal complexes & beliefs require him to Get Railed. he can't want anything, so if he has sex other people have to want to rail him so it can happen to him and he doesn't have to Want Anything (totally normal lan xichen™ thought process)

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Read a fanfiction of wangxian a/b/o where both of them had to fuck in front of some lan family masters as a marriage thing and these lan family masters could correct their position / action while also able to command them to do certain things / acts. While lan xichen wasnt there, sadly enough, imagine him in that position of being ordered around for sexual purposes with a bunch of other guys. Hes all blushing and stammering and squirming cuz he hasnt ever been in this position before but he kind of HAS to follow through with what's being said and he has to push his forehead ribbon up many times cuz he's so sweaty and it keeps slipping and covering his eyes. He's red all over. I rest my case.

(i want him carnally)

this is a great plotline anon! thank you for sharing this concept, it's definitely very interesting. I wanna see this SO BAD.

There is a similar fic out there, but it's single pairing only and also kinda ooc. The ship is xicheng (Jiang Cheng/Lan Xichen) and also has them both as bunny hybrids. It's a relatively short read and pretty okay for PWP.

Link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54897070

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I would like to state that this blog is for lxc hornyposting purposes.

however, I don't want to fuck him. I want to watch him get fucked in my fujo mind cuck chair and order the guards to impregnate him <3.

ppl are also free to send their lan xichen horny thoughts thru asks!

this is to spread my bottom lxc agenda hehe >:D

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I think lan xichen should get gangbanged. as a treat <3

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I think lan xichen should wear lovely sheer white silk thigh highs with subtle blue lace. um. and they should be comfy but also squeeze his thigh so there's a tiny muffin top at the top of the socks