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WAIT AM I LATE FOR THE PARTY I DEFINETELY AM TOO LATE FOR THE PARTY BUT STILL???

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A letter in commemoration of Jure's birthday.

This is kind of a personal thing, but I use my blog as my diary, so... I'm putting this out there. It's a mixture of a vent and a letter I will never send.

Just skip it if you don't feel like reading it. I don't care. I just need to get this off my chest. Just... Don't harass me. Please.

Ps. If you're Joker Out, hi. I'm sorry you read this. If you did. I swear I am very much normal. /j

To my beloved sun,

When I write this, there is another 21 hours left for your birthday in my corner of the world, but for yours, it's only 14. I always write your birthday on my whiteboard, so I don't forget this day comes.

The Playlist I made for you is playing on my ears. I have done so many things for you that you'll never be aware of - I made a Playlist. I drew you on my sketchbooks. I learnt Slovenian. I started learning how to play the drums. I have a notebook with your pictures on the cover and photocards my friends sent me from abroad. I even wrote songs for you, inspired by what you are to me. The Sun.

All of this, you will never see.

It's been two years since I first saw you back in ESC. Like Stephanie's lyrics say, it took about a second, a smile, a thousand freckles. Just a quick glance at you mouthing the lyrics to Carpe Diem and my heart skipped a beat. The thoughts in my head were two: "Who is he??" and "When will they focus on him again??", over and over.

I'm terrified of expressing my feelings, because last time I did, I got chewed out for it. I got called so many ugly things that my soul is dark as the night, my heart small and vulnerable. I was made to feel ridiculous and weird. I still think I am - how the hell can I express myself like this about someone I don't even know fully, and that is clearly separated from me by boundaries between fans and celebrities? How dare I have a heart that beats so loud?

Is it possible to still feel the same love, the same warmth and comfort as the first day, two years later? I think it's very much possible. I still see you and my entire body shakes with a feeling of admiration and love in equal parts. I haven't met you in person and I might never do, because an entire ocean is in the way, and an economic crisis forces me to forget about crossing it. But I ask my friends, the few ones I have left, and they all tell me about how you are the same warm human being as I see in pictures and videos. And that is enough for me.

Even though you never finish to know people, and probably what you show to the world is a fraction of what you really are, just knowing that you choose to be kind is enough for me.

How dare I still be alive?!

I don't know.

I've said it again and again - Jure, you are the sun to me. Because you are warm, and always light up the world when you talk and smile. Your sense of humor, the fact that you're so well versed at so many things, the chaos you bring... All of that is beautiful. Your mischief, your charm, how playful and lighthearted you are. You make all the pain go away with just a smile, or a laugh. I love the way you fidget in place if you're quiet for too long. I love the way you resemble a cat so much. Your fashion sense, the way you play the drums, the passion you put into everything you do, be it drumming, filming or going through the Slovenian forests with a motorcycle. Even the anxiety, the fact that you curse every two words, your lack of filter and the way you behave when you're sleep deprived. I love all of it. I can't help it.

Your beauty is also a part of it - the multiple constellations of freckles in your body, those two full moons you have for eyes, crystalline as the night sky, your carefree smile, your slender hands, your physique, the muscles in your arms, the way your ribcage still sticks out, that absence of a navel that's so unique, your legs, the fact your beard appears to be ginger sometimes, that beautiful haircut that never changes... You're Eros and Apollo. A daring hunter, and a charming angelic devil at the same time. Divine, powerful and beautiful.

How can one not fall in love with you? How can one just simply not stare at you, and wonder how is it possible that such a human being exists?

My eyes threaten to close themselves. They also threaten with tears. Slumber, sleep, longing... Feelings that converge and crash like the waves of the ocean.

If you are the sun, I am the moon, I've always said. Because the moon shines because the sun exists. The moon doesn't need the sun to know she's there, and the sun is very much unaware of the moon's existence. I am okay with you not knowing ever about me. I am okay with us not meeting ever. As long as you exist, as long as you smile, as long as you're happy, so I'll be. I want you to be happy and well taken care of. Whether that's with or without me.

I don't love you because of what you can potentially give me. I love you because you are you.

...

It's been almost two years of something else, too. Do you remember those messages of encouragement? Those stories you interacted with once upon a time? That video you sent to a girl in Liverpool? I hope those memories aren't a burden to you. I hope the memory of them aren't poison in your tongue when they come back to you, if they ever do. I think you have forgotten. I'd much rather have been forgotten. I don't mind. I know things are different now. And I know that I'm just another fan, anyway. It's not like I stand out in a sea of people who support you. I'm okay with that fact. I don't think you are even aware of who I am.

...

You liked my Stephanie cover, though. A random TikTok like. And that's enough for me. I don't need anything else.

It's your birthday, dear cat. Dear sun. Dear Apollo, dear Eros. It's another year where you bless us with your existence. I hope this day is beautiful to you - as beautiful as you are. I hope you are surrounded by love good food and people who are special. I hope today you feel like the king of the world. Because to me, you are.

My Playlist has landed in a City Pop song. I wonder if you know it? Do you know Stay with Me, by Miki Matsubara? I think you do. There's many City Pop songs in this Playlist.

I recommend you give a listen to Cinderella Honeymoon, by Hiromi Iwasaki.

Hehe. I talk as if you were going to read this. But I know you won't. It's just my way to cope.

In any case... Happy birthday.

I'm so damn glad you were born.

Sincerely,

B.

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If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

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I have to get this off my brain because I've had this idea for centuries

A concept idea for a video for Baller by Abor & Tynna

[ Cw for abusive relationships, drunk driving, death, blood ]

The video starts with a car crash, a car that's turned upside down and there's a man in the driver seat who's got a bloody forehead and a seatbelt on. Clearly dead. There's sirens blaring and police lines in the background. In the stereo, Baller is just finishing to play.

Meters away, Tynna gets up. Both her and the man are dressed like if going to a party, with Tynna with a glittery silver and blue dress, smeared makeup and highlighter in her arms. She's bruised and bloody, it's implied she was the passenger in the other seat. She gets up, wipes her blood and turns up the music. The song starts as she surrounds the crime scene. Everything looks ugly. She sees the policemen tracing the chalk line around where her body used to be (while she sings the line about "looking like a CSI scene"). She looks back at the driver and the memories start flooding in.

Tynna and the man get into the car after getting out of a busy club. They are arguing. She's angry because he was caught cheating on her. He's drunk. It's implied that this is not a new ocurrence. She gets overwhelmed and screams she's getting out of the car.

"Get the fuck out and you are dead! We are fucking done!" The man screams, grabbing her wrist.

"Let go! Let fucking go! You're hurting me!" She screams back.

As the line "I shoot for the stars" comes up, Tynna screams. The screen fades to black and the car crashes into a streetlight.

Tynna opens her eyes and decides to get into the ambulance. She fuses with the body in the gurney, which turns out to be hers, and falls unconscious.

When she wakes up, she's back at her house. Seeing her phone, she realizes it's the previous day, just a couple hours before the car crash is due to happen. She gets a message from the guy that says "Listen, I know I shouldn't have, but I'm so sorry", and then another text in which he's seen dancing and kissing another girl at the club.

Tynna just texts back "We're done" and blocks his number. During the line "I close the door as if nothing happened", Tynna is seen getting ready to go out with her girlfriends, after she sends them a text asking them to take her oit. She then is picked up by a group of girls and all of them go out to a club to party and have fun in the city.

As the song ends, Tynna sees her ex and another girl coming out of the club. He doesn't seem to realize. She just bites her lip and watches them as they go off into the night. All of a sudden her eyes widen.

A screeching car and a crash sound as it all fades to black and sirens start to blare again.

While the main video storyline happens, there are a few frames interspersed with it:

Tynna and Abbor dancing in a blue discotheque

The two of them sitting in the curb in the night

Abor playing the cello in the middle of the dance floor

The both of them messing around in front of the camera, just being silly and enjoying themselves

That is all now hire me as a MV director /j

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stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. pick one sports team you hate and blame them for everything

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ah yes 3:35 am the perfect fucking time to freak out abt mahmood being in Brazil BECAUSE I AM ARGENTINIAN AND IF HE DECIDES TO DROP BY BUENOS AIRES I'M GONNA FREAK OUT

(he probably won't but let me dream)

Mahmood è a Rio de Janeiro (01.03.2025)

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So like, y'all can clearly see this too, right?

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and me too tbh oh my god I had almost forgotten how good he looks 🤤🤤🤤

Kris is me every time I see Jure in this outfit🙂‍↕️

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It is, in fact, ✨my birthday✨

I'm 27 now.

I could write a whole thing abt how poetic it is to be 27, a musician and wanting to be alive. But it's 3 am and I'm tired.

That being said - y'all can start making Jure, Mahmood, Konstrakta Lucio Corsi or Filip Baloš related gifts for me now /j

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Reblog and you’re guaranteed to be successful at whatever you do next!

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did y'all know I'm in love with a mime prince from Italy

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You guys, I'm convinced I'm the biggest Jure girlie in my circle at least, and I'm like one of the most devoted Jure fans there are out there, but what the fuck was the Stephanie MV

You mean to tell me this is the man I've cried, composed songs and made a playlist for??

THIS ONE???

He's insane and you know the most insane thing is that I love him even more after seeing him in his natural monobraincell status

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So who do we think the father is?

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Thirdwheeling at its finest

📷: Bojana Janjić (Belgrade, 27/11/2024)