neopiacentral - Tumblr blog

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if i ask u for space, u write seven page letters. i used to think that meant i couldn’t do better

u blow up at me then u pay for my dinner, i used to think that meant i wound up the winner

but front after front, i was taught to forgive. you bought me to rot on the shelves of your fridge, and you keep me around til you’re hungry enough, but my face has gone grey, there is mold in my gut

expired and rotten and long overdue, you left me to wilt without courage to shoot, cause you’re just kind enough to keep me in the loop

i have never met poison like you, how you’re spoiling me

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i wish u loved me the way u think u do

but i still wanna come home and that’s as sad as it is true

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and i think that we got too close to the real thing, still love u when nobody’s watching, guess we found perfect too soon

and i’ll hate all of the nights i’ll remember, god i’ll miss your face in september, we’re only halfway through. if love was a year, then we’re june.

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i live my life in these four walls, head full of dreams but i’m afraid to tell them all. i climb the staircase, carry all the dead weight just to fall, fall, fall, fall, fall

there is a box, i keep it closed, all full of ashes from the letters that i wrote. maybe tomorrow, the pills i couldn’t swallow, they’ll seem small, small, small, small, small

last night i wrote my own eulogy, here lies the girl who never let herself be free. ain’t it ironic, the first time i was honest i was gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

i’m not one to wear my heart out on my sleeve, but here i am, will you take all of me? thought love was for the perfect, that i don’t deserve it, i was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong

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i still keep our photos in a folder in case u come back 2 meeeee

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when sorry starts sounding less like an apology and starts sounding more like a reflex

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i’m wasting my life living the way that i am right now and everything is so far gone that i can’t see a single feasible way to get myself out of this. i feel so painfully alone and sad and isolated here i just wish my brain worked normally man. im so tired of constantly comparing myself to others and wondering wtf is wrong with me. why are simple things so easy for others but when that same task when presented to me it seems like the biggest most difficult challenge in the world whyhhhh why why

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ugh ;_______;

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it’s not that i don’t have words to say

just don’t want to be the one that speaks them

i’d rather keep it secret until we reach it

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it feel like she wrote this song for me

i loved you

and i still do

just wanted passion from you

just wanted what i gave you

i waited and waited

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i loved you

and i still do

just wanted passion from you

just wanted what i gave you

i waited and waited

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ughhhhhhjjjhhhhhh

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how are you doing?

merely holding on by a thread sugar plum but i love ya

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danny says he’ll die next week, i said are you sure, are you planning on it? he said no but as we speak, he can feel his end time coming on and

thinks he caught a rare disease, i said did you know, did the doctors prove it? he said no but as we speak, he can feel a strange death start to move in

danny’s mind is good til it gets real bad, skipping through the logic and the basic facts. danny’s just a man whose thoughts fight back so i said

danny look me in the eyes, you still have a pulse and your body’s breathing. all your blood is trapped inside, when you go to sleep your hearts still beating

danny you have done your time with the fear of losing what you lack control of. if worry cannot fix your life, then try and lift your head above the hold ups

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i’ve always hated my shoulders, the idea of getting older. i hate that i am bigger, my last body was a soldier. i could go back to fighting, think about her every night im kind of jealous, kind of pining for a smaller place in time

i wanna fit right in your pocket, since i was a kid what i always wanted. push it away, blow dandelions, lighter than clouds and disappear out, grow flower fields in my stomach

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i want to tell you how i feel but i don’t really know

i wanna eat my dinner without feeling like i’ve grown

i wish that we were seventeen and on the next train home

i do not want to hurt you but i’m scared it’s in my bones

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i’ll free you from the person i was sure i knew

i’ll free you from the reputation you outgrew

i’ll free you from behavior i’d expect to see, and my interpretation of history

cause i boxed you in unconsciously, and i saw you i thought you oughta be

but by loving you imperfectly, for just one sec i free you from me