neuroticdad

[neuroticdad]

So the car overheated in midtown yesterday and I was like “This sucks but I have coolant in the trunk! I’ll get home!"

And then the fucking mechanism to open the hood broke! (That’s the bonnet for you weirdos who drive on the left)

Anyway if anyone has the hood release cable for a 2015 VW Golf lying around please let me know

[neuroticdad]

What should I virtue-signal about today?

[neuroticdad]

Things I feel bad about vs Things I feel good about

Things I feel bad about

Nobody is interested in my novel

I’m not earning enough money

My government sucks

My kid has not yet developed a work ethic

Aging

Things I feel good about

Mrs N and I still get it on

[neuroticdad]

Hi just wondering if anyone has a spare muffler for a 2015 VW Golf lying around thx

[neuroticdad]

Some other dad: “My kid is doing great in school and he’s incredibly musical and athletic."

Me: “My kid failed gym."

[neuroticdad]

The boy and I were watching Love Death & Robots and there was something about the Chili Peppers and I said “Let’s not watch that one, I can’t stand that band.” The boy said, “Why,” and I said, “I don’t know, it’s just that every time I hear them I want to crawl out of my own skin.” And he laughed and gave me a hug. He loves his dad because his dad hates a band.

[neuroticdad]

The thing I hate about parenting a teenager is how often I become an adversary. Getting him offline, getting him to do his homework, getting him out the door in the morning – it’s all arguments and threats, and it sucks.

[neuroticdad]

Wins and Losses

Wins

The boy’s grades tanked and I told him I’d take away his gaming laptop if he failed any classes. (He failed gym last term for God’s sake.) He hated me, but he’s now getting As and Bs.

I made it to Day 7 of Passover without eating leaven which is not the full 8 but a personal record.

I published a work of actual journalism for pay and had another pitch accepted.

Losses

Can’t seem to get any publishers or agents interested in my novel.

My country is still run by ignorant maniacs.

[neuroticdad]

It’s Passover again. Let’s see how I long I go until I forget and eat bread again.

[neuroticdad]

In this fraught national moment, I don’t think enough people are talking about this season of White Lotus — more specifically how bad it is. The incidental music is incredibly intrusive, the incest theme is dumb, and worst of all it’s boring. He hits the same notes over and over. If I see Jeremy Isaacs contemplate suicide one more time I might top myself.

[neuroticdad]

Let’s recap

Earlier this month I had the flu.

Then Mrs N. got COVID.

Then the boy got COVID.

Mrs N got better and went on a business trip.

Now I have COVID.

The boy is on the mend.

[neuroticdad]

What does this signify

Two agents and a publisher passed on my novel today.

And three people asked me to read their manuscripts.

So clearly I don’t know what I am doing but some people think I do?

[neuroticdad]

Where’s my fucking medal

Made them breakfast

Cleaned the filthy bathroom

Brought them pizza for lunch

Went to the library to knock out doc due Monday

Returned home, made them latkas

IT’S ONLY 4PM

[neuroticdad]

Mrs N has Covid and the boy has Covid

I have two deadlines on Monday

Send vodka

[neuroticdad]

Three things kicking my ass today

Pneumonia vaccine

Mrs N has Covid again

The boy has no school today

[neuroticdad]

I got the pneumonia vaccine because three people I know were laid up with pneumonia for weeks. Feel like I got hit by a truck. The only thing worse is knowing my country has been taken over by corrupt racists

[neuroticdad]

Teen update update

When he came in he gave me a hug. Maybe because I had a black and white cookie waiting for him. I feel like I’m in an abusive relationship