never-fair
never-fair
with eyes as dead as mine
126 posts
sage || 19 || writer || i do not support jkr in any way
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never-fair · 11 months ago
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guysss please check out jacky! she is one of my favorite moots and her writing is so so underrated! go check her out and send her some love xx
Late at night
DS Ben Jones x gender neutral reader
(Please read the warnings)
🌸 Warnings: language and grammar, sorry english is not my first language, gender neutral reader, angst, fluffy fluff and hurt/comfort, I wrote this fic on my phone 🙈, the nightmare is in italics and one comment from Ben is in bold + italics, kisses, cuddling, hugs, the reader and Ben Jones are living together, nudity (there is no smut), reader and Ben shower together, a nightmare, the mention: of death, blood, major injuries, break down, crying, reader got frightened, Tom and Joyce Barnaby and DC Gail Stephens appear in this fic, the mention of a storm (lightning and thunder), description of a market and crowds, Ben being kinda protective, precious (charming, a tease, cute and somehow cheeky/sassy) and one curse word. Please let me know if I missed something 😌
🌸 Words: 7531 (I know it's super long and one of my longest fics, I'm so sorry 🙈)
🌸 Summary: DS Ben Jones comforts you after a nightmare and takes care of you
🌸 A/N: I had this idea for so long and then I just got carried away and this fic came out. I really enjoyed to write this and it makes me a tiny bit proud. But I have mixed feelings, on one hand I'm excited to post this and at the other hand I'm feeling anxious because it's so, so super long. It's also my second time writing for him, so please be kind 🥺🙈. I'm happy if you’re leaving a comment, reblog or like 😌
I also wanted to thank Fi @some-distant-star for all the writing advices you have given me 🥺❤️🫂
🌸 Please don't repost my work on other platforms or websites. Thank you 😊
🌸 Reblogs, comments and/or likes are always appreciated 😌
🌸 And now, enjoy this little ficlet under readmore 😊❤
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It's late in the evening, you've spent the rest of the day mostly at home enjoying two weeks off from work, doing a few things that you like and some chores. You look out of the window and it seems that a storm is coming soon, with dark gray clouds, slowly covering the sky.
Well you were right, thirty minutes later, you see a pouring rain outside, the rain splashes on the pavement and on the roofs. The branches of the trees are moving violently due to the storm and it really looks as if they are fighting against each other. The weather drowns the always beautiful idyllic scenery of midsomer, in a sorrowful and dark place.
The sound of thunder and the turning of book pages are filling the air in your room now. You are in your shared bedroom, sitting comfortable on the bed and reading your favorite book. You glance to the window, raindrops falling against it and rolling slowly down, like they would do a race to reach the end of the window first. It's something you thought about, when you were a child and it makes you smile. Few seconds later a lightning appears from afar and your eyes widen a bit, staring for a short moment at the dull and mourning horizon.
You continue to read the lines in your book, sentence by sentence which have captured you for a while now. The smell of the book reaches your senses and it remembers you about the moment when you have read your favorite book for the first time. You gently turn the pages with your delicate fingers and time seems to fly so much faster that you haven't noticed that it got very late.
After a while your eyes wander to the clock on the wall, it strikes ten pm and Ben is still at work. You let out a sigh, you wanted to bring lunch and coffee around but when you arrived at his work, DC Stephens said they weren't here anymore and that you had missed them by 15 minutes.
She was very kind and asked if she could do something for you but you thanked her for offering her help with a sympathetic smile and you gave her the two cups of coffee, saying that she can have them. Her only response was a surprised smile and a beaming “thank you, miss”, when you went back to your car with Ben's lunch in your hand.
You hope that he arrives safely at home soon. It only means that Mr. Barnaby and Ben are doing extra hours and that they're extremely busy with their case.
Thinking about Ben you stretch your arms, a quiet yawn escapes from your lips. You put a bookmark between the pages, close your book and place it aside on the nightstand. You turn off the light, lie down to the side, facing the yet empty spot where Ben usually lies and cover yourself with a warm blanket. A couple of minutes later you turn around, lying on your back now. You stare at the ceiling for a moment, unable to fall asleep for a while, but your eyes are becoming heavier and heavier and then the warmth of your soft blanket welcomes you to a peaceful slumber.
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It's a warm summer morning. The sky is bright and clear, the sun shines and captures the scenery in intense, vibrant colors. A fresh breeze swirls loose strands of your hair which is tied in a messy bun, when you are on your way to visit Mr. and Mrs. Barnaby.
Yours and Ben's shared apartment is not far from their house. When Ben kissed you goodbye and left for work, you got yourself ready and left the apartment.
When you have arrived, Mrs. Barnaby opens the door and greets you with a warm hug. You enter their kitchen and Mr. Barnaby greets you as well with a bright smile, sitting at the table and reading the newspaper.
After a nice conversation Mr. and Mrs. Barnaby invites you and Ben for dinner and Joyce says that she wanted to cook but when Tom hears what she said, he almost chokes on his coffee and immediately suggests sheepishly and calmly what it would be like to order something.
She turns around to face her husband, with a straight face while one of her eyebrows lifts up.
“Tom, we can't always order something for dinner, so I have thought about to cook something nice this evening.” she insists, looking at her husband with slightly narrowed eyebrows now. He lets out a defeated sigh and agrees to her.
You gently press your lips together trying not to laugh and glance to Mr. Barnaby and Joyce while she begins to prepare everything. When Mr. Barnaby has left the house several minutes later, you are helping her.
When the both of you are done, you leave the house some hours later to go to the market.
When the two of you have arrived, you see that the market is very vivid this time and is visited by so many people. Some crowds have gathered at several market stalls. You and Joyce wonder if you should wait an hour or two but she decides to go anyway, worried that some of the groceries are sold out when they are hesitating too long.
You are chatting with Joyce, while you arrive at the first market stall, praying that the crowds are disappearing and that you and Mrs. Barnaby are getting the groceries for dinner.
Patiently you are waiting a while and it seems to your and Joyce's surprise that everything went fast and she could buy the groceries she needed for dinner at the other market stalls.
After two hours at the market Joyce got everything from there, and you two are going back with two bags in each other’s hand. When you notice Mr. Barnaby’s car across the street, your eyes search for them in hope they might be nearby, you have seen Ben and the Chief Inspector asking the people for a case.
When they head back, you place the bags on the ground and wave at them and Joyce does it as well when she sees them.
Ben lifts his head, his eyes wide with surprise at first, then he smiles in your direction and waves back. He crosses the street and Barnaby is right behind him.
“Hello Mrs. Barnaby, hi love” He greets Joyce and then pecks your lips.
“What are you two doing here?” Joyce asks them, surprised.
When Ben was about to answer, Mr. Barnaby responds immediately and glances down to his watch, signaling the two of you impatiently that they are in a hurry.
“We're actually busy investigating a murder” responds Tom and wants to continue but Ben interrupts him as well with a boyish grin and winks at you. It seems that there is a very slight hint of revenge behind his grin.
“But we couldn't say no to greet you and Y/N” Ben answers back with a charming smile. While a soft giggle interrupts your lips.
“Oh that's very kind of you, Ben, thank you” Joyce responds with a bright smile, raising an eyebrow at her husband, as if she wants to judge him a bit.
“I'm very sorry to interrupt your little conversation with Jones but we really have to go. I promise you, we are back for dinner and then we can have proper conversations, Joyce” he says with an impatient tone in his voice and yet with a pleasant smile on his lips.
“Alright, but don't be late Tom” she says to him with a warning expression.
“You have my word, Jones and I will be here for dinner, in time” he reassures her, pecks her cheek and leaves with Ben, continuing to ask the other’s if they have noticed something about their case.
Before Ben leaves he quickly says his goodbyes to Joyce and steals a kiss from your lips.
“See you later Mrs. Barnaby, see you soon. I love you Y/N” and followed Mr. Barnaby.
“Well, it was very pleasant to see them but I really doubt they're coming for dinner in time” she says with a sigh.
“Don't worry Mrs. Barnaby, they’ll come for dinner, I'm sure about that” you respond to her with a reassuring smile.
When the both of you wanted to leave, you and Joyce heard two loud shots out of nowhere. You get scared and Joyce let out a loud gasp, you two turn your heads where it came from. The other people run away, screaming out of fear and panic. You both are frightened and then you hear a name you wish you haven't heard…
“Ben!” Tom screamed after his Sergeant.
You and Joyce are running to them. The only feelings you have is fear and concern about Ben. Your heart starts beating, your body shivers and your breathing is nervous and fast. You look at Mrs. Barnaby and by only seeing her horrified expression, you could tell she feels the same way.
When you and Mrs. Barnaby arrive, you stop breathing for a moment out of shock. Your heart breaks in thousand pieces when you see what happens in front of your eyes.
There was Ben, lying unconsciously on the ground, he is bleeding profusely and the injuries are looking bad. Tears running down your cheeks and you call for Ben, rushing to Mr. Barnaby to help him.
You and the Chief Inspector hover over Ben's head on each side trying to stop his bleeding wounds in his chest by pressing your hands on his injuries. While Joyce calls the ambulance, Mr. Barnaby orders other police officers to run after the guy, who shot his Sergeant, giving them a very good and brief description of what the offender looked like and where he fled to, hoping that they would arrest the criminal soon.
Joyce says that the ambulance would arrive in a couple of minutes but maybe he doesn't have them anymore.
Many people give you and Mr. Barnaby towels to stop Ben's injuries, while you try to talk to him, in hope he hears you.
“No, no! Ben, c- can you hear me? Please don't leave!, s- stay with me!, oh please hang in there, open your eyes, please no, don't go, everything will be okay, y- you’ll be okay”. You cry and desperately beg him to stay or wake up.
He isn't moving or reacts to your voice, you start crying in fear of losing him forever. Mr. Barnaby glances in your direction and hears you, begging Ben to wake up and seeing you crying, breaks his heart.
In front of his eyes, Tom Barnaby sees, how a young love and your life gets destroyed and how your world breaks into pieces.
When you hear the sirens of the ambulance, you and Mr. Barnaby are still trying to stop his bleeding wounds now with blood smeared hands.
When the paramedics arrive you refuse to leave, you want to stay by his side and tend his wounds but you feel how Joyce and Tom Barnaby are trying to go back, to get some distance, so they can do their work and pull you gently away from Ben.
In that moment, when you feel how your whole world caves in, you hear them saying that his vitals are critical. That's when you realize that you might lose him. You let out a devastated scream, your heart clenches, feeling that your legs are passing out and you fall on your knees to the ground… you're breaking down and your heart aches…
You can't lose him not now, you can't bear it, you love him so much, you simply can't let him go and the only thing you are doing is thinking about his last words to you…
“I love you, Y/N…”
Your world starts to shatter, it might takes your home away… might takes Ben away.
You close your eyes, tears staining and running down your cheeks and in front of your inner eyes, you see all the beautiful moments and conversations you have shared together.
It takes and it takes and it takes…
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When Ben comes back from work and enters your shared apartment, he quietly closes the door behind him, with wide eyes while he slightly clenches his teeths, assuming that you're sleeping already.
He looks with a sigh at his watch and it's half past eleven pm. He strives his jacket off from his shoulders, hangs it up on the hook beside the door and takes off his shoes. When he comes to the bedroom he takes off his suit jacket, hangs it over a chair, loosens his tie and takes it off, opens the first buttons of his shirt and rolls up his sleeves.
Few minutes later he notices that you're slowly shaking your head, that you're not sleeping comfortably. His eyebrows narrow and he sees that you move your body slightly to the left and to the right side, while studying your features very carefully.
When he was about to go to the bathroom to take a shower, he heard you, murmuring "No's" in your sleep. He is worried now, switches on the light beside you and immediately rushes to your side. His heart beats fast in his chest, he could feel the electricity in his veins. Ben was sure that you're having a nightmare now and that he has to wake you up.
“No!, no, no please don't go, please don't leave me” you're crying, tears running down your cheeks.
Ben gently shakes your shoulders trying to wake you up “Y/N love, please wake up” he said your name with concern in his voice.
“NO! Let me go, please, no” you cried out loudly.
Ben shakes you a bit firmly now and his voice rises a bit.
“Hey! Y/N, wake up, love, wake up!” he says a bit louder than before.
You must have heard his voice and you wake up from your nightmare, with fast breaths, red puffy eyes and tears still running down your cheeks.
You see Ben, he is well and is alright. He has no bleeding wounds, he is alive, sitting on the bed beside you. Not believing what you're seeing, your eyes are still searching for injuries but he really is alright.
He looks very worried, his eyes full of concern and slightly narrowed. He places one hand on your cheek wiping your tears away and with the other one he holds you in his arms and comforts you.
He is sitting on the bed and is quiet, soothes you and hushes into your ear. You're in his arms and he gently removes his hand from your cheek to caress the back of your head, while he places a kiss on your hairline. His arm is around you and his other hand draws little circles on your shoulder now.
You are sobbing into his shirt, gently clawing your fingers into the white fabric and smelling his cologne. It calms you a bit but you can’t stop yourself from crying.
“Everything is okay, I'm here, you're safe” he whispers into your ear, before he lets out a relieving sigh.
He still holds you in his arms, your head leaned against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat now, while your tears run down your cheeks and fall down on his shirt.
“Shhh, shhh, shhh, you're safe, I'm here, I got you Y/N” he whispers to you while he caresses the back of your head.
You and Ben stay like this for a while, you're not crying anymore, you let out a relieved sigh, closing your eyes and opening them again.
Ben slowly looks down at you with a soft caring smile. “Y/N, whenever you're ready or if you want to talk, I'm here, I'm not leaving you, love” he whispers gently to you. You only respond with a nod against his chest.
After a moment, you let out a silent sigh, you lift your head to face Ben, looking into his green caring eyes and then you start to talk about your nightmare.
“W- well uhm, it was a very normal day, we got invited for dinner by Mr. and Mrs. Barnaby. I visited them and went with Joyce to the market to buy groceries, it was full of people. Later when we got everything for dinner, you and Mr. Barnaby were nearby and came around for a quick “hello” and for a very short chat. A moment later you and Mr. Barnaby were leaving and then…”
You stop for a few seconds, your heart aches and you look into Ben's eyes, while your eyes are filled with tears again and your breath hitches in your throat.
He places his hand gently on your cheek and patiently listens and waits for you to continue. You lean into his touch and let out a breathy sigh, while a few tears fall down again.
“And then… w- we heard two loud shots and everyone screamed and was in panic. Then we heard Mr. Barnaby calling your name, we ran to him and y- you were lying on the ground, bleeding with two wounds in your chest and we weren't sure if… if you're going to make it because… you have been in a critical state” you choked at your last words and your voice broke and tears running down your face.
"I'm just so afraid and I don't want to lose you. I can't bear it” you whisper to Ben, with sad glistening eyes.
Ben doesn't say anything, he swallows thickly, while he listens to you and his own heart aches, when he thinks about how you have been crying for him, dreaming that you might lose Ben some minutes ago.
He sighs, embraces you in a warm hug while he soothes you.
“Shhh, hey Y/N, please look at me” he says softly to you, making you look up at him.
“Everything is okay, I'm okay, you won't lose me, I'm still here, love” He reassures you and caresses your cheek.
"Let me wipe those tears away.” he wipes them with his thumb away. Then he takes your hand, holds it for a moment and draws little circles on your knuckles.
After a little while he gently lifts your hand and places it on his chest, while his warm hand is placed on yours now. Through the fabric of his shirt you feel Ben's heartbeat and how his chest moves slowly up and down.
“I'm here and I'm well” he whispers to you, while he places a kiss on your forehead.
You let out a relieved, breathy sigh and nuzzle your head on his chest now. His arms are around you, stroking gently your back.
“Y/N, can you feel my heartbeat?” he whispers to you and you reply with a soft nod.
“I can feel you too, everything is alright.” Ben reassures you and carefully squeezes your hand.
Ben and you stay like this for a while. Enjoying the peaceful silence. You are calm now, you glance up to Ben, his eyes are closed and his chin rests gently on your head. A soft smile forming your lips and you adore him, he looks so relaxed and at peace now.
Somehow he notices that you are looking at him and he opens his eyes to look back at you and mirrors your smile.
“Are you alright, Y/N?” he asks you.
“Well I think I am, thank you Ben and I'm so sorry for keeping you awake” you respond to him.
“Y/N, please don't apologize, I'm always here for you. You're important and you mean the world to me. When you're having a nightmare again, I'm doing this again and again and… again. I'm here for you, always” he says to you, while he caresses your cheek.
“I love you, Ben” that's the only thing you can say right now because you are touched by his words.
“I love you too, Y/N” he says to you with a soft smile on his lips.
He smiles at you and tucks gently a loose strand behind your ear, when he still strokes gently your back. But after a moment he breaks the silence.
“Y/N, how- how has been your day?” he asks you with curiosity in his voice, which makes you smile a bit.
“Well, I did some chores, nothing special but our apartment is cleaner now. Later I did a few things I enjoyed. Later in the afternoon I drove to your work to bring you lunch and a cup of coffee for Mr. Barnaby and for you but unfortunately I have missed the both of you by some minutes but I met your colleague DC Gail Stephens, she was very kind and was offering me her help, but I thanked her and I gave her the two cups of coffee. In the evening I read my favorite book and then I fell asleep.”
“I’m sorry to hear that you missed us, I'm glad you had a decent day. Which sounds very productive too and yes, she told me that you wanted to visit us and it seems that she thinks about you, the same way” he responds with a charming smile.
“Well I'm glad to hear that, she was very friendly, how was yours?” you whisper to him.
“Ufff, don't even ask, it was just, how can I say it nicely, ahh, it was annoying. We have been investigating a new case and some people haven't been very cooperative” he responds with an ironic smile while he rolls his eyes.
“I'm sorry to hear that Ben” you respond, while you place your head on his shoulder.
“But I haven’t told you the best thing yet” He says with a soft charming smile.
"What is it?” you ask him with excitement in your voice.
“I finally got a week off from work” he says with a huge triumphant smile on his lips.
“Oh this is amazing Ben, which means we have some time for us too?” you ask him with expectant eyes.
“Yes, we have” he responds with a charming smile and kisses your hairline.
He still holds you in his arms, some minutes went by when he glances at his watch with tired eyes. When he realizes how late it is now, he widens his green eyes in disbelief.
“Damn it” he murmurs under his breath and slowly stands up from the bed. You look at him and narrowed your eyes in confusion.
"What's wrong, Ben?”
“Uhm, I totally forgot to take a shower. I'm still wearing the same clothes. It will only take some minutes and then I'm back, I promise. Maybe you can make yourself comfortable, while I'm under the shower” he says with a sheepish smile on his lips, while he rushes to the bathroom.
“But I-... I can't sleep, I don't want to actually” you murmur under your breath to yourself with hesitation in your voice.
You stand up from the soft bed, grabbing new, comfortable clothes for Ben and you go to the bathroom. When you lean against the doorframe with his fresh clothes in your hands, you see him shirtless now, facing his back in your direction, showing his well - built body which he has trained by many years of playing cricket.
However, he seems to hide it under suits and casual clothes. He was never someone who shows off his body. Ben always thought that it's not necessary. It is important to him that he is authentic and that he is in a relationship, in which you love him the way he is, in the way he loves you as well. With all your perfections and imperfections.
You can't believe how ethereal he looks, with his broad shoulders and his strong arms. You are looking at him with awe and butterflies interrupt in your stomach.
When he turns around he almost jumps when he sees you, leaning against the wooden doorframe, because you have been very quiet and he didn't notice you at all.
His reaction brought you back to reality.
“Woah Y/N, you nearly got me” he says with a breathy smile, while a laugh escapes your lips.
“I'm sorry Ben, but uhm I have fresh clothes for you” you respond to him with a soft smile, admiring for a short moment his toned chest.
“Thank you love, but I think you meant to simply admire me right now as well” he adds and teases you with a cheeky grin.
“I-I, well yes, and I just can't sleep after the nightmare” you admit to him while you stumble over your words, while your head tilts slightly down.
When he listens to you, Ben notices that your beautiful features drop a little, his smile soon disappears and he looks at you with concern in his eyes and approaches you.
Ben gently kisses your temple and embraces you in a warm hug, which you immediately return. You feel safe when he hugs you and it eases your mind down. It feels like home, feeling his warm chest and his warm arms around you.
A soft sigh escapes from your lips and his eyes looking down at you and closes them, feeling your hands on his shoulder blades, which he enjoys. When he opens them again after a while, he debates with himself, if he should ask you to join him to take a shower together or not.
He decides to ask you. If you're going to refuse, he respects and understands it. It would be a new experience for the both of you and he just doesn't want to push you into something you may not like.
“Y/N?, do you want to join me?” he asks with hesitation and a sheepish tone in his voice. Oh he can feel the heat rising to his cheeks and ears now.
You look up at him, blinking with your wide eyes now.
“You want me… to join you in the shower?” you ask him slowly and a bit unsure, processing his words.
He lets out a nervous sigh and his heart beats fast in his chest, feeling slightly awkward “You really don't have to, I just don't want to push you into things you doesn't want to, I just thought, I could to take care of you-” he tries to explain himself but you cut him off by kissing his lips slowly for mere seconds and then you gently break the kiss.
He is surprised and he looks at you with a puzzled expression.
“I-I would like to join you Ben” you answer him with a shy smile.
You left him speechless, when you turn around, placing his fresh clothes on the dryer, to go back to the bedroom, grabbing some fresh clothes for yourself.
Ben shakes his head with a breathy smile, before he continues to take the rest of his clothes off and puts them into the laundry basket beside the door.
When Ben gets undressed, he steps into the shower and leans against the tiled shower wall, waiting patiently for you.
When you get your clothes you are returning to the bathroom, placing them beside his clothes. You can feel how nervous you are and how the heat rises to your cheeks.
You never showered with him, sure you have seen your bodies a few times before and it came once to your mind, to shower with him too, to share an intimate moment, without any sexual intentions, with Ben but it still makes you feel a bit uneasy. The reason you agreed is because you trust him with your whole heart and that you are feeling safe around him to do that.
When you close the door behind you, you are looking for Ben. Assuming that he is already in the shower, you get undressed, put your dirty clothes into the laundry basket and join him after a couple of minutes.
There is a moment of silence between you both. You look at him and then shyly turn your head slightly to the side, feeling the heat in your cheeks again.
Ben notices how nervous and shy you are and slightly tilts your chin, to make you look up at him.
“Y/N, it's okay believe me, I'm nervous too.” he whispers to you and his words give you a bit of reassurance, to let you know that he feels the same way.
His heart is racing with nervosity and excitement and the heat rises to his cheeks and ears again.
For two people in the shower there is not a lot of space, but still enough for a little gap between you and Ben.
You both erupt into soft laughter, when you and Ben realize how close you are now. Then he smiles at you and tucks gently a loose strand behind your ear and caresses your cheek with his index finger.
You could melt into a puddle and he always manages to warm your heart by little gestures, he does when he is around you.
When Ben turns on the water tap, you are standing directly under the shower head, which he notices when cold water droplets fall on your head and skin. You move to his side while you let out a gasp, avoiding the cold water now. Ben couldn't hold back his laughter, which escapes his lips now.
“Are you laughing right now, Ben?” you ask him with a wide smile.
“N-no, your reaction was just adorable” he responds to you with a playful grin on his lips, trying to deny it.
“Ben it's really cold” you complain to him with a little pout.
“I'm sorry love, let me check the temperature again” he says to you while he kisses your forehead.
He holds you by your side now, his arm around your waist and his hand placed gently on your hip. A tingly feeling interrupts in your stomach and your heart beats fast in your chest.
He leans a bit forward to turn the water tap into the right direction until the water has the perfect temperature for you both and warm droplets are falling down from the shower head.
“I think the temperature is alright, Y/N” he says to you with a soft caring smile, while he steps under the warm shower. Ben gently holds your hand, to reassure you and then lets them go.
He closes his eyes feeling the warm droplets running down his body and a soft sigh escapes his lips.
His hair is completely wet now. Looking at him, putting his wet hair back while his fingers run through his hair. Which has gotten a bit longer over the past months. The water droplets rolling down his neck, then running down to his chest, arms and back.
Your breath hitches slightly, when you realize how good he looks, admiring his strong stature.
He opens his eyes, taking your hand again to lead you towards him.
“Come here” he softly says to you, before he pulls you slowly closer to him.
You are gently pressed against his tall body, feeling the warm droplets on your skin. Your arms making their way around him and you place your hands on his shoulder blades.
You lean your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. The water trickles down your hair, rolling down your neck and your shoulders, then along your back.
Ben, holds you in his arms, looking down at you and admires the way you look. He thinks you are the most beautiful person he has ever seen.
He softly caresses the back of your head, tucking wet strands behind your ear. Which makes you look up at him with a soft smile, Ben only returns your smile.
“You are so beautiful Y/N” he whispers into your ear.
“You think I’m beautiful?” You ask him with a breathy voice.
“Yes, you are and you always will be” he confesses to you and places his forehead against yours.
He gently holds your cheek and leans in slowly. Ben captures your lips in a soft and slow kiss. He is so gentle and caring and butterflies interrupt in your stomach. Your lips are perfectly molded into each other’s, it feels like home and reality starts to fade and time seems to stand still. Some water droplets sneaking into the corners of your lips, tasting the warm water but you both don't mind. You feel that he is smiling and you return his smile, while you softly kiss him.
The only things he is feeling are your soft touches and your lips on his. He feels comfortable, relaxed and he can always be himself when he is around you.
You manage every time to make his day brighter, to cheer him up when he is in a bad mood or when he is stressed out because of his work. You surprise him again and again with your good nature and your ability to always see the good in people, no matter what the situation is or what they have done.
He admires you from afar and loves you so much, that his heart might burst out of joy and that he feels at peace with you. You make him feel complete.
After a moment you gently pull away, feeling how he steals one last kiss, before he softly chases your lips. He rests his forehead against yours again. Your noses are touching each other’s and you both are smiling and opening your eyes.
You place your soft hand on his cheek and he closes his eyes and leans slightly in, signaling you that he savors your tender touch. Ben opens his eyes again, gently taking your hand and kisses your fingertips, keeping eye contact with you.
Your breath hitches how he cares about you, as if you were a fragile figure made of porcelain.
A soft smile appears on his lips and he chuckles seeing how flustered you are.
“Well, I guess you've lost your voice” he teases you with a wide smile.
“I- no, I didn't” you respond with a laugh.
You both are laughing now. Every time when you smile, his heart is filled with a warm comfortable feeling and he adores it.
“There it is” he murmurs to himself but you heard it.
“What do you mean, Ben?” you ask him, while you playfully lift an eyebrow.
“Your carefree and bright smile. I love seeing you smiling and how your eyes are sparkling when you do” he confesses to you with a loving smile.
He really has the ability to make you speechless. You are out of words, you only respond with a hug placing your warm delicate hands on his shoulder blades. Ben hugs you back and his arms make their way around your waist.
You stay like this for a moment when Ben reaches at first to your soap, which makes you look up into his warm green eyes.
“May I?” he asks you for permission to wash you.
“Ben, you really don't have to-” when you're about to decline his offer, he interrupts you.
“But I want to Y/N. Please, let me take care of you” he said with a caring smile and looking at you with huge eyes.
“Okay Ben, you may” you answer him with a loving smile on your lips. You simply can't say no to those eyes of his.
After you have allowed him to wash you, with a caring smile he tells you to turn around, that you're facing your back to him. He places featherlight kisses on your neck and down your shoulder before he starts to wash you up.
He takes his time and starts to wash your neck and your shoulders, his touch is so caring and loving, that you melt into his tender touch. Then he gently guided, with his warm hands, the soap on your back.
When he is done he takes your shampoo, pours it in his hands and starts to massage your scalp with his fingers, which makes you humm softly in response.
“Do you enjoy it?” he asks you in your ear. He comes incredibly close that you can feel his warm breath on your skin and it makes you shiver, which intenses the tingly feeling in your stomach a bit.
“Yes, I do” you answer him while your eyes are closed, Ben chuckles quietly and kisses your cheek before he continues to wash your hair.
Then he washes the shampoo out, feeling the warm water droplets on his skin. When the shampoo is out of your hair, he reaches for your hair conditioner and washes your H/C locks again.
He makes you feel loved and that you're important to him. His loving touches make your eyes tear up and the first tears are running down your cheeks.
When he convinces himself that the shampoo and the conditioner are completely out, he tells you to turn around. When you do, he sees you crying. His features drop to a worried expression and he looks at you with concern in his eyes, thinking that he might have done something wrong.
“Love, why are you crying?, what's wrong?. Have I done something wrong?” He asks you while he holds your cheek with his hand wiping your tears gently away.
“No, you did nothing wrong. I just got emotional and have been touched by how caring and loving you treat me.” You explain with a breathy voice to him. He listens to you and a soft sigh escapes his lips.
“Y/N, I will always treat you like this, because I love you so much, more than you ever know.” He confesses to you, while he wipes your tears with his thumb away and embraces you in a warm hug.
Ben caresses your back, kisses your forehead and hushes into your ear.
After a while he looks at you with a soft smile on his lips and softly cups your cheek with his hand. You look up at him, mirroring his smile.
He booped your nose with his index finger and you both erupt into soft laughter.
“What about you Ben? May I wash you up too? ” you ask him with doe eyes.
“I don't mind, love” he answers you with a soft smile.
You both are under the shower head and warm water droplets falling down on Ben's hair, then down to his shoulders and his back.
You take his soap, you tell him, with a caring smile on your lips, to turn around, that he faces his back to you and you place your warm hands on his skin.
You take your time as well, as he did for you before and you start to guide them along his neck, then to his shoulders and down to his back. He feels your soft fingertips on his skin and he hums at the warm feeling.
When you are done washing him up, you take his shampoo, pour it into your hands and gently massages his scalp with your delicate fingertips.
A soft sigh escapes his lips and he peacefully closes his eyes, signaling you that he enjoys it.
“I really do like the length of your hair, you should keep it Ben” you say to him while you wash his shampoo out.
“You do?” he asks you while his eyes are still closed.
“yup” you answer him with a soft smile.
“Well I really thought about having them cut a bit shorter again but if you like them, I let them a bit longer this time.” he responds with a soft smirk on his lips.
You are running your fingers through his wet hair, making sure that all the shampoo is out and you turn the water tap off. Ben turns around and smiles at you.
He looks at you with pure adoration in his eyes, closes the little gap between you and places his forehead against yours. You both close your eyes enjoying the comfortable silence.
Then he carefully steps out of the shower, grabs his towel and wraps it around his waist. Then he offers you his hand to guide you out of the shower as well, gives the towel to you and you wrap it around your chest.
You start to dry your body off, which Ben also does. After some minutes, when the both of you are done, you change into more comfortable fresh clothes.
Once you and Ben are dressed, you take another towel and go back to your bedroom. You give him the towel so he can dry his hair off, while he dries his hair, you grab a hair brush and your hair oil.
You take the seat beside him on your bed and hand him the brush with a soft smile, while he murmurs a “thanks, love” and combs his hair.
When he has combed his hair, he sits down behind you and starts to dry your hair with the towel. He is so careful, knowing that your hair is important to you and has watched you many times, doing your hair routine, that he somehow knows what he does.
You let out a breathy smile, happy about the fact that he knows you very well, in and out. You are amazed and very glad to have Ben.
When he has dried your hair off, he takes the brush, and starts to carefully brush the first strands of your hair and you humm in response.
After a little while, he is done and places the brush aside to the night stand and takes your hair oil with a charming smile.
“Ahh, this is also your secret for your soft and good smelling hair. Well good to know, so I can buy it when you need it again” he says with a wide grin and looks at the little bottle in his hand.
You start to giggle softly, when Ben sits behind you, pouring a little bit from the hair oil in his hand, to apply it only into the lengths and to the ends of your hair.
When Ben is done applying your hair oil, he takes one strand between his fingers and smells at your hair, closing his eyes at the soothing scent. Then he carefully combs his fingers through your soft locks.
“I still can't believe how good your hair smells.” he says with a wide grin and slightly shakes his head.
You turn around to his direction, a warm smile forming on your lips as you stand up from the bed and lay yourself down.
When he hears your soft yawn, he lies himself beside you, takes the blanket and covers the both of you.
Ben lies on his back and looks at you with soft tired eyes.
"Y/N, come here.” he whispers to you.
You come closer to his side, nuzzle your head on his chest and you listen to his heartbeat. He holds you close, one arm wrapped around your waist.
He places featherlight kisses on your hairline and on your forehead, letting you know that you are safe.
“Ben?” you ask him with tired eyes.
“Hmm? yes, love” he whispers to you.
“Can we take a shower together again soon? It was amazing” you ask him with a soft yawn, fighting the tiredness.
“I would love to, it was nice and comforting” he responds with a soft smile and notices that you are struggling to keep your eyes open.
He watches your beautiful features. Ben slowly moves his index finger from the middle of your forehead, down to the bridge of your nose and stops at the tip of your nose and repeats the movement a few times before he caresses the back of your head. You look so peaceful and he never has seen you so calm that it warms his heart and it's filled only with love and adoration for you.
“Good night, sleeping beauty. I'll be by your side when you open your eyes again.” he whispers to you.
“I love you Ben” you whisper to him before you drift off to sleep, closing your eyes.
“I love you too, Y/N” he quietly responds back and places his warm hand on your back, drawing with his finger little circles.
He places a soft kiss on your forehead before he closes his own eyes and peacefully falls asleep.
-----------------
The first rays of sunshine gleam through the blinds.
The warm sunlight gently illuminates your face. When you slowly open your eyes, he is still there, his arm still wrapped loosely around your waist, sleeping peacefully by your side.
He kept his promise, which he always has done before.
Your head still rests on his chest, when you glance up at him, you catch a glimpse of the sunlight catching his features and he looks calm.
The corners of your lips turn up to a soft smile. Knowing that he is safe and alright, you are closing your eyes again and slowly drifting off to sleep.
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🌸 If you enjoyed the fic, please comment on this, how you found it, thank you (just if you want to) 😊
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never-fair · 11 months ago
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Thank you Sage, I hope that too 🍀😌
🥺❤️🫂
😊☺️☺️
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never-fair · 11 months ago
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Sage, I missed you too 🥺❤️🫂
I'm glad you're doing good 😊
I'm doing alright, not too good or bad. I got covid and I'm at home now, being in my room.
I hope you have a wonderful day, sweetie 🥺❤️🫂
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nooo im so sorry jacky :( i hope u get better xx and thank u!! i hope u have a great day tooo i missed u too much man
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never-fair · 11 months ago
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Hey Sage, how have you been? It has been so long 🥺👉👈❤️🫂
hi jacky! ive been good, how about you? yeah it has been long. ive missed you, man :)
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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SAGE HAPPY DIWALI RNANENANND
HAPPY DIWALI
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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Hihii
yo
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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hey 😏😍😍
hey 🥰😍🤩
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN LOML
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IM SO LATE OMG
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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Hi! what fanfics are you currently working on? <33
yoo wsg? im finishing up a remus request rn!
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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FUCK MY LAST POST I GOT TOO ATTACHED AND NOW I HOPE HEADS PILLOW IS WARM ON BOTH SIDES 😌
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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honestly, good game australia! although i was hoping a miracle would happen, you guys played really well! great game
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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well it was fun hoping
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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hey I missed you I hope you're doing okay sending a virtual cup of chai to you <3
JDJDJDJDJEJE HIII I MISSED YOU SO FUCKIN MUCH MAN IM CLINKING OUR CHAI CUPS TOGETHER ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN HAMILTON
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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Reblog this if you've ever;
- Self harmed
- Purged
- Starved yourself
- Felt like you were nothing
- Hated everything about yourself
- Fell asleep crying
- Felt completely numb
- Been bullied
- Attempted suicide
- Wanted to die
I will personally message each and every one of you, I don’t care how long it takes. Nobody deserves to feel like they need to do any of the above things.. Just remember to stay strong and that I love you.
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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🙈🤑🤶🏻💪🏼🎇
open tags but @dizzyntrr bc wifey poo comes first always
❗️NEW TAG GAME❗️
pick 3-5 emojis from your recently used that you think describe your personality
i’ll go first ^^
🤨🪿⁉️💜⚡️
gently tagging (and anyone else can join)
@enderdragon-1030 @soda-shark @marsisrealscared @ballad-of-a-homeschooled-girll @niallermybabe @sad-trash-pigeon @randomescapingwords @legendofthe3divas @underappreciatedtomato @avie-pigeon-cheese @a-portal-to-nowhere @a-trench-coat-of-confused-worms @waitingforthesunrise
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never-fair · 2 years ago
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If I'm your tumblr crush send me a "hey"
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