nicohii

[nicohii]

i think it would be really funny to have more realistic sex in jjk smut.

riding heian sukuna? his frame is so wide that your hips are aching from having your legs spread so far open. your bones are popping and cracking and fuck, your left leg’s going numb.

getting eaten out by nanami? yeah it’s cool and all but you can’t really cum like this. just feels kinda nice, but god— he better not look up because this angle really does no justice to your double chin.

mating press with toji? yeah it’s hot… like. really hot. zen’in’s got you soaking the sheets in all the wrong ways. you can feel the puddle of sweat seeping into the mattress below your back, and fuck, he’s dripping some into your eye. and fuck, your hips hurt in this one too.

doggy with satoru? a glorious specimen is right behind you and you’re staring at his digimon sheets. plus you can feel him staring at your butthole. did you shave all the way? who invented this? and why does it hurt too?

full nelson with suguru? gonna fucking fall. gonna fucking fall. feels like you’re gonna fall. and you can tell he’s focusing on lifting you and not really focusing on making himself feel good. and now that you’ve noticed that, you can’t feel good either. AND WHY DOES IT HURT?

anyways… sex isn’t always sexy. but that’s what fanfic is for i guess lmao.

[nicohii]

"I just couldn't wear a heartfelt smile in this world...."

i love his laugh, it's so unhinged and carefree, eyes closed, mouth open, eyebrows scrunched... i just know he accidentally snorts when he laughs, satoru probably lives for it

[nicohii]

happy pride to him

[nicohii]

Bokuto with a beard just dropped.

I apologize for the person that I will become.

[nicohii]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[nicohii]

UGHHH this world needs more of your angst with revenge, but the revenge being of course, reader being happy with her life without sylus in it, and sylus can't do anything about except watch you from the sidelines. UGHHH I JUST LOVE YOUR BRAIN SO MUCH.

Oh gosh nonnie this means a lot🥺🥺🥺

Yes i'm a sucker for the angst in which one character moves forward and one gets kinda left behind. I mean, there's beauty in moving on and realizing you've given love without regrets even if it doesn't gets returned.

Reader's revenge isn't that easy either. They wouldn't admit it, and Sylus failed to notice it, but they did took one jacket of his when they moved. They, too, took a long time to get to where they are now. There are nights when they absentmindedly called out his name when they come home. A soft call of "Sylus" or "Bossman" Echoing down the halls of her home before realizing he's halfway across the planet.

In the nights where it's unbearable, on nights they are weak and overwhelmed, they find that jacket and wrap themselves in it. His scent still lingers, one day, they think... One day this scent won't mean anything. This jacket will finally be stashed deep in storage boxes, sealed and never to be opened again. There won't be any phantom weight on the other side of the couch.

Then it happens, on a trip to Linkon. A simple walk to a cafe caughts Reader's attention, a familiar figure.... Figures. Playing Kitty cards, windowside.

He looks better even now. He looks happier, there is a genuine smile and amusement as he plays, reaching over the table to ruffle her hair. He looks his age, like there is no weight in his shoulder. He tucks a hair behind her ear, in their small little world.

There is pain, there is tears -- middle of the sidewalk be damned, and then comes the clarity.

That's closure.

They vow to themself that day, to love openly, to love and be honest about it. To bare themselves so distance plays no villain. That there will be someone out there, they will be loved and they will love.

They walk away and don't dare look back.

[nicohii]

Part two to this promt

Sylus isn't proud about very few things. You can count in one hand, and on top of the pile is his silent search for you despite the fact you wished for him never to find you. In the days where he is accompanied by himself, his feet drag him in front of the door of what was your room. There are days when he finds himself lost in the memories of the things you have left behind, they're still there. Just like how you left it. It's an instant really, how it all crashes down on him, that all the things you left are all the things he had given you. 

He sits on what used to be your bed. There is still a faint trace of your scent on it, when he closes his eyes, he can almost hear you breathe. "Come on, Sylus, tell me what's going on in that brain of yours... "

And when he opens his eyes there is nothing but neatly kept sheets. There is a worn out photograph on your night stand. You and him. Almost tore at the edges from being in your pockets. He caught you looking at it at times, when you thought no one is there. There is youth in that photo, how there is is mirth, how there is oozing affection from you that wraps his entirety that makes him to warm in this cold city. 

He isn't proud of his decision to send Mephisto your way in secret. He isn't proud of how he lurks. He isn't proud of the tinges of regrets and remorse in the nights even after being one with the one he had sought for. There is already shared lifetimes between them, but sometimes, when he sees her with other people she's shared lives with, he can't help but think if that's applicable to him too. Dis he have other people to share his other lives too? Did he share a lifetime with you too? 

He sees you, in Mephisto's eyes. You are a far cry from who you were when you were in the N109 with him. He sees you in probably the biggest smile he has seen you in, laughing with a man who waited for you to come out of the building you just came out off. There is something in the way you run to someone else's arm in a carefree way. There is pain when somebody else lifts your body and twirls you around like you're the greatest treasure in the world. Because you are. There is something in the way you caress their face, bury your nose in their hair, the way you look into somebody else's eyes. 

He isn't proud of it, the way he didn't stop looking even when you went home with your partner. Eavesdropping and watching through birds eyes as you go about your day with someone who loves you back. He can see it, the way you are held back, the way you are wrapped in their arms as you cook a meal , the way you both waltz in the kitchen barefoot. 

This is how you love when you are loved back, don't you? This is how you love in a safe place don't you? You love in a peaceful, quiet and content pace. You have created a beautiful world without him in it. You have created a haven out of the freedom you had asked of him, and here he is, watching you. Wondering if things turned out differently, maybe the peace you had made could be shared by the both of you. 

Does you fiance know about him? Does he know about who you loved unadulteratedly before? Does he know about the way you yearned for him---

"If you invited the twins, don't you think you should invite him too?" He hears your partner ask you. 

So he does know about him. 

And that punches him more, knowing that you have left nothing hidden of your past. There is no little secret in between. There is no whispers of him and you, because you have laid it all out. 

"He's a busy man. The twins are all I need baby. " You smile before you kiss him on the lips. 

Sylus hates the ugly bitterness in his tongue. But what is there to say? Is there anyone to blame? 

----

Sylus stares at the photo of Luke, Kieran and you. 

Sylus had always saw you in red and black. 

There is blur in his vision, there is tightness in his chest, there is an unexplainable void in him that opens as he stares at you. He isn't proud of it. But he'll live with it. 

For the record, he admits, you look most beautiful in white.

[nicohii]

DUDEEEEEE I NEED TO BITE UR ANKLES RNNNN (affectionately)

loved the new part bc the first was literally cocaina HOWEVER. cliffhanger at the realisation is simply too cruel… also im a sy girl through & through but it he doesnt let u go to reconcile with caleb rn… AND FUCK HIS STUPID MOVIE

also also mc knowing abt whatever these two have is hilarious like she probably broke up w him knowing ur both a lost cause

Awww thank you nonnie!

Well hmmm where to start, where to start. Well I mean our boy Caleb is clueless about himself too. There are things he is self-aware of and things...he does not want to willingly admit to himself. Like, I personally think Caleb has this persona thing where he absolutely refuses to believe that he is an asshole sometimes (bro, genuinely thinks he is a nice guy but we all know he isn't perfect). But hey, he's trying.

Now, Sylus. My, my! Man is the perfect leading man, he looks the part, he speaks the part, he acts the part, but dear baby want to be more that what the industry tell him to be. He has more in him that he wants to be defined as, he has talent, art, he has a life that he wants to live. What can he say? Being hot is both a blessing and a curse hehe. And then in his pursuit of art, he meets someone who sees him as he is - a nerd who likes to play games and all that, well well if that isn't... Something *winks*

And last but not the least, our girl MC! The queen girl's girl herself! I genuinely think even MC is protective of you. She genuinely cares about you, you're her friend! And she'll be damned to give you just like that with someone who wouldnt take care of you like you should be taken care of. She'll throw hands.

[nicohii]

(Actor! Sylus x Non-MC Writer! Reader, Actor! Caleb x Non-MC Writer Reader)

Hollywood Series: part one | part two

Actor! Sylus who looks so stiff when you first meet him that it makes you stiff too. The sight is too funny that it makes both Actress! MC and Producer! Zayne snort and giggle.

You turn to Actress! MC, your eyebrows almost disappearing into your hairline as you try to ask her what the hell is so funny. 

"I'm sorry, Sylus!" She says in between giggles as she wraps - tries to - wrap her arm around your shoulder and pull you in, "they just get too intimidated by handsome men."

"That's 100% true! I get intimidated, by you, because you know, you're gorgeous. " Your mouth moves before you can even speak and the heat in Actor! Sylus' cheeks grows hotter by the second. 

"Thank you, I guess." He murmurs and it amuses Producer! Zayne and Actress! MC practically cries from laughing.

"Oh you two will go a looooong wayyyy"

------

Actor! Sylus, who you realized is as goofy as anyone gets. He likes music, has hobbies of his own (quite expensive ones, frankly) and he's a good conversationalist. It's charming really. 

Actor! Sylus who offers his place as a start to brainstorm. His idea is simple: a Bonnie and Clyde type of film, with an explosive plot twist at the end -- one of them is just a figment of the other's mind, and the crime is commited by one person only, but it's not who everyone thinks it is. 

He has a vision for it, excerpts scribbled from a black (and kinda worn out) note book. There is a boyish mirth in his eyes as he shows it to you, like the rigid and cold exterior has shed of and he's just too excited to finally share these parts of him. 

In the times that you speak to him, he can't help but feel the sides of his mouth hurt when, genuine smiles fall from his lips as you tell him about your ideas that fall perfectly with the fish bones he presented. Hell, you even suggested story boards along with it. 

Actor! Sylus who feels the excitement he hasn't had in years. His lounging beside you, in his old college shorts and baggy shorts he's had since high school (his dad accidentally bought two sizes big and decided to keep it) and dialling for pizza as you scribble your ideas on his notebook.

Writer! Reader who looks no better. With a shirt that practically drowns you (Sylus thinks that this suspiciously fits someone he knows but chooses not to speak about it), some soft and plush baggy pants and mismatched socks. 

"I've hit a wall... " You tell him, dropping the pen and rubbing your eyes with your fingers. Leaning against the seat of his sofa and extending your legs straight flat in his carpeted floor. 

"Well, do you want to have some fun? " He hopes you dont hear the shyness in his voice. (What the fuck? What is he? Seventeen?) 

------

Actor! Sylus who sucks at Kitty Cards but is one hell of a champion and swipes the floor clean with your pride at Yu Gi Oh! 

Actor! Sylus who definitely has the newest Tekken update in his carefully set up gameroom. Your practically gasp at his Warhammer figures carefully arranged in his oak center table. Your eyes twinkle and jaw oj the floor. Motherfucker had the audacity to be beautiful and have a personality? Well fuck  (you, please) 

The way you look at it though makes him feel like a boy again and he doesn't know how to deal with it, it's like theres a sudden itch in the back of his neck that he can't stop rubbing. Did the paint always looked chipped like that---

"Sylus... " He gets back on Earth with your hand on his shoulder, you look at him (look up, actually because well, were you always this small?, he thinks) You look at him with determined and fiery eyes, fist raised like you were expressing support, "You , my guy, are a very cool and badass person. "

He takes a breath, don't look at me like that! He looks at you and he feels like a kettle, and before he realizes it, his hands are covering his face. It's hot and he feels so fucking giddy inside that he doesn't know what do with it. 

"Are... Are you okay? "

He just gives you a thumbs up. 

------

Actor! Caleb who lounges on Producer! Zayne's couch like a lazy ass cat. He stares at the dark haired man, typing in his laptop as Actress! MC makes something in the kitchen. 

He keeps refreshing your messages, he gets frustrated and practically tosses his phone just to stare at Zayne again. 

"If you want to tell me something just say it. Stop looking at me like you're trying to see the folds of my brain." Zayne closes his laptop and takes off his glasses, leaning on his chair. 

Actress! MC who conveniently comes out of the kitchen with two tea cups, placing it in front of him before taking a seat on Zayne's lap. 

"He wants to ask about a certain someone and what do you think about them and another certain someone. " There it is again that knowing smirk, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN????? 

"Am not." Caleb murmus taking a sip before sitting in a ball, he should've just come to Gideon. 

Zayne finishes takes a sip before rubbing MC's knees. Caleb rolls his eyes, it's too cheesy it's making him have diarrhea from looking at these two couple alone. 

"I think they are good together. The film will be great. "

"Together????? "

"See, this is what I'm telling you, Caleb. You have this perfect eyesight for flying planes but too fucked up to see obvious things. " MC speaks a little too loud at makes Zayne's hand squeeze her thigh a little harder. 

"Oh yeah, cause you're too smart are ya? " Caleb bites back.

"Yeah, I am. Want me to spell it out for you dumb ass?! " 

"Honey, I don't think this is something you need to discuss while you're in my lap---"

"YOU LIKE THEM! NO, NO, YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR THEM! But instead of coming out and just saying it nooooooo, Little Mr. Pilot wants to explore the world, ha-ha-ha  cause he's a star and when all is said and done, he can always come home to them and they'll take him back... "

"Honey... " Zayne tries to hold her hand. 

"Well guess what motherfucker, I hope they get the man they deserve." 

There is a beat of silence. MC's hands on her hips, she was always the fighter among them three. She looks at her with fierce determination, yeah come at me bro. 

Caleb darts his look at the exasparated green-eyed man. He looks back at him before rolling his eyes, ah shit here we go. 

"You believe in that, Doc? "

Zayne let's out a tired sigh. Before looking back it him with pursed lips. Before slowly nodding. 

---- 

"That was mean." Zayne tells her as MC returns to his lap, nuzzling his head against the side of her neck. 

"Which part of it? I mean, I didn't lie. " Her fingers combing though his hair and massaging his scalp as she scrolls through her phone.

"The man they deserve, huh?" His voice muffled by her skin.

"Well, I didn't say who."

[nicohii]

牢笼可不是野兽的归宿 "Beasts never belong in a cage" Love and Deepspace fan-made animation by 零零依

[nicohii]

Might drop sylus version for this one, who knows

(Actor! Caleb x Writer! Non-MC reader part 2. And I'll probably make this a series, this is unedited I am so sorry)

part one here

Your phone vibrates two weeks later with a familiar contact photo popping on the screen. You don't have the strength in you to let the call die so you pick up. 

"Hey" , Caleb starts.

"Hey" you softly answered back 

"I was just wondering if.... I mean... I was just... I just wanted to say sorry. I didn't mean that. Not that way. You're writing is perfect. It's very mean of me. I'm sorry. "

You can imagine him fidgeting on the other line. You chew on your bottom lip before muttering an, "It's okay. It's fine. You know, I can never hate you, C."

He exhales through the mic. "Let's catch up? Soon? We can play that new game you talked about that just got released, yeah? Like old times? "

"Sure. Like old times "

You turn the call off and stare into the ceiling of your kitchen. Puffing out the breath you've holding. It's something you've been mulling over and over for the past couple of months, the idea of the world beyond Caleb. He's your muse, but sometimes, love doesn't really reach the one's you want it to doesn't it? And maybe that's the universe telling you the unspoken. 

The years have come by with you artistry focused on whom the heart beats for, but really what happens after that? He's made it clear (kinda) and maybe it's time. 

So you gather whatever's left of dignity you have and make a vow to yourself. Love isn't just some boy (turned man) you have pined for your entire life, maybe there's a differenr form of it out there for you to find. So you forgive yourseld for the pain you blame yourself for. 

The world is big, you forgive and you try, you will try, and you will get by. 

-------------------------------------

Actor! Caleb sees you for a brief while during Comic con, and you're currently discussing with backstage staff. You wave at him before going back into a deep conversation, he stares at you for a while before coming down back to Earth when a figure zooms past him to run into your arms.

Actress! MC pratically latches into you, arms around your neck as you spin her around. Two friends reunited.

He hates the tinge of jealousy, of whom, he isn't sure. Like, it's okay to see his ex hug you and you return it with no hesitation and she gets to talk to you with no awkwardness whatsoever. But like, come on, how come she gets to hug you like that but you can't even look at him in the eyes? How is that fair? He can feel his pout come in, he wants to sulk, to tell her to back off and ---

"Hey guys, you're up." A staff tells him and his co-stars, MC finally let's go of you and you exchange schedules before she joins them on stage.

-----------------

Actor! Caleb, who sways the whole room with his charm and humor. Honestly, he is every PR reps dream client; knows how to answer the crowd to warm them up but not spill any major spoilers, he's updated with fan theories and what not and knows how to work around them. They announce a renewed season but don't spill any date yet.

Alongside him though, equally entertaining the crowd with their exchange of inside jokes and quips, is his co-star, Actor! Sylus.

A particular fan asks him a question, something about his future projects to which Actor! Sylus replies with, "I think I want to try directing some time in the future."

---------------

Actor! Sylus who pats him on the shoulder as they go down the stairs and into the backstage booth. He sits down with Actor! Caleb and Actress! MC in the dressing room to cool down.

"So directing! Do you have any genre in mind?" Caleb asks as he opens his bottled water as Sylus wipes his face with make up remover.

"No, not yet, I do however, have my interest on one writer's portfolio. I like the vulnerability and emotional rawness, you know?" The man replies which makes his other two companions stare at him.

"What? I have range too you know, this action-packed roles get too dull."

It's MC who shrugs, "I mean, that's true. Do you have a name for this writer of yours? "

Actor! Caleb who feels an ugly feeling in his chest when Sylus says your name. The deep crease in his brow makes MC snort. He asks her with his eyes and she just gives him a shrug. He asks Sylus why, only to be replied with, why not?

"You should watch their screenplays, it's like... an ode, a series of love letters to someone, nothing more screams art than that right?"

Actress! MC who watches everything in amusement before elbowing him, "Well, you better lock in, Colonel."

What does that even mean?

-----------------

Actor! Caleb who spends a whole month watching your screenplays, from your earliest works, episodes, indies, shorts, feature films, everything that has your goddamn name on it.

Actor! Caleb who freezes in his couch when it finally makes sense. Who feels like he's drowning when the credits finally roll in. He finds it hard to breathe and suddenly the room feels too big and empty, like his skin begs for a familiar pair of arms to hold him.

It's there, the messages hidden perfectly well only for him to find, the little details that you have picked from real life, from moments -- moments you have shared with him. Inside jokes that only he knows the punchline to.

How can you tell him you can't capture love well when... when all he feels is the overwhelming warmth of your yearning? Have you always loved him this much? Have you always looked at him with these eyes? Almost like he was something so precious even he can't see it himself? How can you stand by with all the hurt and ---

He almost feels dizzy from standing up too fast, taking his phone from his kitchen table. He dials your number, the call doesn't go through. He dials again.

It's around the third missed call that you send him a text.

"In a meeting. Ttyl."

"Who? "

It's the longest three minutes of his life.

"Producer. Director. Anyway, I'll prolly gonna do a raincheck on that game night. Need to write a new project. Sorry."

"Is Sylus directing? "

There's three dots. Before it stops. It comes alive again.

"Yeah. How'd you know? "

tagging everyone who asked (and commented ) on the first part (ily guys sm)

@mcdepressed290 @lillycore @wegottastayfocus @raendarkfaerie @fishwasher8 @persephonejeon @his-ocean-emissary @maskedbunni

[nicohii]

(Actor! Caleb x Writer! Non-MC reader part 2. And I'll probably make this a series, this is unedited I am so sorry)

part one here

Your phone vibrates two weeks later with a familiar contact photo popping on the screen. You don't have the strength in you to let the call die so you pick up. 

"Hey" , Caleb starts.

"Hey" you softly answered back 

"I was just wondering if.... I mean... I was just... I just wanted to say sorry. I didn't mean that. Not that way. You're writing is perfect. It's very mean of me. I'm sorry. "

You can imagine him fidgeting on the other line. You chew on your bottom lip before muttering an, "It's okay. It's fine. You know, I can never hate you, C."

He exhales through the mic. "Let's catch up? Soon? We can play that new game you talked about that just got released, yeah? Like old times? "

"Sure. Like old times "

You turn the call off and stare into the ceiling of your kitchen. Puffing out the breath you've holding. It's something you've been mulling over and over for the past couple of months, the idea of the world beyond Caleb. He's your muse, but sometimes, love doesn't really reach the one's you want it to doesn't it? And maybe that's the universe telling you the unspoken. 

The years have come by with you artistry focused on whom the heart beats for, but really what happens after that? He's made it clear (kinda) and maybe it's time. 

So you gather whatever's left of dignity you have and make a vow to yourself. Love isn't just some boy (turned man) you have pined for your entire life, maybe there's a differenr form of it out there for you to find. So you forgive yourseld for the pain you blame yourself for. 

The world is big, you forgive and you try, you will try, and you will get by. 

-------------------------------------

Actor! Caleb sees you for a brief while during Comic con, and you're currently discussing with backstage staff. You wave at him before going back into a deep conversation, he stares at you for a while before coming down back to Earth when a figure zooms past him to run into your arms.

Actress! MC pratically latches into you, arms around your neck as you spin her around. Two friends reunited.

He hates the tinge of jealousy, of whom, he isn't sure. Like, it's okay to see his ex hug you and you return it with no hesitation and she gets to talk to you with no awkwardness whatsoever. But like, come on, how come she gets to hug you like that but you can't even look at him in the eyes? How is that fair? He can feel his pout come in, he wants to sulk, to tell her to back off and ---

"Hey guys, you're up." A staff tells him and his co-stars, MC finally let's go of you and you exchange schedules before she joins them on stage.

-----------------

Actor! Caleb, who sways the whole room with his charm and humor. Honestly, he is every PR reps dream client; knows how to answer the crowd to warm them up but not spill any major spoilers, he's updated with fan theories and what not and knows how to work around them. They announce a renewed season but don't spill any date yet.

Alongside him though, equally entertaining the crowd with their exchange of inside jokes and quips, is his co-star, Actor! Sylus.

A particular fan asks him a question, something about his future projects to which Actor! Sylus replies with, "I think I want to try directing some time in the future."

---------------

Actor! Sylus who pats him on the shoulder as they go down the stairs and into the backstage booth. He sits down with Actor! Caleb and Actress! MC in the dressing room to cool down.

"So directing! Do you have any genre in mind?" Caleb asks as he opens his bottled water as Sylus wipes his face with make up remover.

"No, not yet, I do however, have my interest on one writer's portfolio. I like the vulnerability and emotional rawness, you know?" The man replies which makes his other two companions stare at him.

"What? I have range too you know, this action-packed roles get too dull."

It's MC who shrugs, "I mean, that's true. Do you have a name for this writer of yours? "

Actor! Caleb who feels an ugly feeling in his chest when Sylus says your name. The deep crease in his brow makes MC snort. He asks her with his eyes and she just gives him a shrug. He asks Sylus why, only to be replied with, why not?

"You should watch their screenplays, it's like... an ode, a series of love letters to someone, nothing more screams art than that right?"

Actress! MC who watches everything in amusement before elbowing him, "Well, you better lock in, Colonel."

What does that even mean?

-----------------

Actor! Caleb who spends a whole month watching your screenplays, from your earliest works, episodes, indies, shorts, feature films, everything that has your goddamn name on it.

Actor! Caleb who freezes in his couch when it finally makes sense. Who feels like he's drowning when the credits finally roll in. He finds it hard to breathe and suddenly the room feels too big and empty, like his skin begs for a familiar pair of arms to hold him.

It's there, the messages hidden perfectly well only for him to find, the little details that you have picked from real life, from moments -- moments you have shared with him. Inside jokes that only he knows the punchline to.

How can you tell him you can't capture love well when... when all he feels is the overwhelming warmth of your yearning? Have you always loved him this much? Have you always looked at him with these eyes? Almost like he was something so precious even he can't see it himself? How can you stand by with all the hurt and ---

He almost feels dizzy from standing up too fast, taking his phone from his kitchen table. He dials your number, the call doesn't go through. He dials again.

It's around the third missed call that you send him a text.

"In a meeting. Ttyl."

"Who? "

It's the longest three minutes of his life.

"Producer. Director. Anyway, I'll prolly gonna do a raincheck on that game night. Need to write a new project. Sorry."

"Is Sylus directing? "

There's three dots. Before it stops. It comes alive again.

"Yeah. How'd you know? "

tagging everyone who asked (and commented ) on the first part (ily guys sm)

@mcdepressed290 @lillycore @wegottastayfocus @raendarkfaerie @fishwasher8 @persephonejeon @his-ocean-emissary @maskedbunni

[nicohii]

Part two here

Sylus x Non-MC plot bunny in my mind where:

You have served him as his right hand. Cleaned whatever mess or potential ones that had come his way. You've been with him for as long as you can remember -- even before Luke and Kieran.

The softness in your eyes when you look at him does not escape him. He is observant, hell, he wouldn't be where he is now if he wasn't. There is a softness and fondness I'm the way you move around him and the boys. There is a part of you that knows that he knows; but you also know that he is here with a mission of lifetimes. There is someone out there he keeps looking for and it isn't you.

You see it -- the longing in his eyes, one that transcends the presence you offer even if he hides it from you. In the moments that the universe allows, there is exchanged softnes. Exchange of something of the heart but you both don't dare call what it is because... because... and you actually can't think of any reason why. And it hurts.

Then comes a hunter, and everything falls into place. The why's. The what's. The mission of his lifetimes. There is a growing distance that both of you hate but choose not to address. She makes him happy and that makes you happy. She makes you happy. You understand why, but understanding doesn't make you numb.

It takes a while before you choose to make ammends with yourself. To make peace that there isn't anything here for you anymore. Your service isn't needed anymore .

It's a party, you don't remember what for. She is on a vacation in Skyhaven so your boss opts to take you. Surprisingly, this isn't a mission. Just a small something that a friend invited him to. You find him in a balcony, just coming off from a phone call with a voice to familiar.

You hand him a glass of wine which he accepts. The N109 zone is harsh, but there is beauty in it during these hours. The illuminating lights, the sounds of the city, the feel of him. There is an ache in your stomach that makes you want to hurl.

"You have been distant... " his voice breaks the silence and you look at him from your periphery before taking a sip of your own drink. So direct, so Sylus.

"Yes. Yes, I have been. I suppose. " You smile. He leans against the railings arms crossed and you know he wants you to tell him more. You think about the plans you have made within your time to yourself. The decisions you have come up with... And where to go from here.

You down the whole drink before letting a small scoff and laugh, eyes wandering everywhere but him.

"Sylus, you have got to know by now. " You're voice starts to crack, and you can't do anything, he makes you vulnerable. He takes you apart piece by piece just by being within reach.

"Know what? "

"That I love you."

He chooses to remain silent. What is there to say to that? He supposes. He knows. That's the thing between the both of you, the deep understanding that transcends words. He caresses your face. You look at him in the eyes, and he swear he doesn't mean to, but there is weakness in the moment, when your eyes yearn and tell him to take a peak at the dreams you have locked away because you both know there is no return from this, might as well lay all the cards on the table.

He sees it, the soft dreams of a future. Two bodies dancing in the living room, early mornings, late nights, a small him, a small you, childlike laughter flooding his home. Something stings within him when he gets down from the illusions, and all that's left is the look of resignation from your eyes. Like you already know what he is going to say.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I--"

"I know." You tell him as you softly remove his hands from your face. There is a sad smile in your face before you nurse your empty glass between your hands. You hold it close in your hands, cradling it against your chest as the moisture from the glass stains your dress.

"I think... " your breath shakes, a ragged breath before you look at him again, "I think my work here is done."

Sylus is by no means a sentimental man for everyone, but there is a pang in his chest that feels to familiar and foreign at the same time. He takes prides in his well sewn words, they are calculated and factual, well spoken and funny if he tried, but right now there is no words.

You ask him for your freedom that night. You've already done enough for him, you tell him. There is no need for you here and it's time for the move forward.

It's the last time he hears of you.

---------------------------------------------------

It's not everyday that Luke and Kieran leaves important documents haphazardly at the base. But Sylus supposes that boys will be boys. He cleans his gun, a particular habit he picked up to relax. Before he notices a white envelope left opened and read on the deskdesk, intricately designed and scented, with your name written in fancy script.

Your hand writing is on the card,

Boys,

I don't really have family to walk me down the aisle. So I figured and hope, will you to do it? It would mean the world to me.

(But if there's an important mission Sylus assigned you to do please for the love of all things holy, don't bail on him.)

P. S: Please don't tell him.

[nicohii]

It's my 'Quality Time and Words of Affirmation King' Actor! Caleb vs. 'Physical Touch and Acts of Service' King Actor-Director! Sylus brainrot against the world

[nicohii]

(Modern! AU, NSFW, Suggestive, Minors DNI)

Virgin Vash! Whom you trust the most because he is your bestest friend in the whole world. And you are his. So when he tells you about his "predicament". He is a virgin and he wants to lose it. ) You both look at each other mouth agape when you responded with, " Me too."

Virgin Vash! whose face is red when your strip in front of him in your underwear and he is in his boxers. Red and plaid. He gestures for you to sit in his lap. You look at each other on the mirror of his closet doors. His chest is warm agains your back. His breathing is erratic against your nape. 

"can i touch you?" He whispers, you nod and he runs his warm palm against your thighs and the warmth gives comfort and goosebumps. There is a growing pressure under your ass and you can't say it doesn't feel good. His palms continue to run up your chest before squeezing them through the fabric of your bra and you hear a whimper. You look at him through the mirror, his face burried against your neck eyes clothes and hands wandering. He looks like a man embracing a deity of faith whispering prayers against their skin. His buckles up against the fabric of your underwear and his boxers and even the barriers, your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

'God you are pretty. You are so pretty.' He whispers against your skin

[nicohii]

(No because I have an Actor!Caleb brainrot and I need to get this out of my system; reader is not MC)

tags: Actor! Caleb x Non-MC Writer! Reader, angst, friends to lovers??? might write a second part idk

Writer! Reader and Actor! Caleb growing up together--but only one yearns, and it's not him. He compliments you on your writing, they win awards, they have been a cult favorite in the indie fandom and coming of age genre. He sees a pattern, there is pain, there is longing, there is love buried there deeply, yet he never seems to realize how it's all an ode to your admiration of him.

There are times when you do want to tell him how much he means more than what he thinks he means to you. And it's not helping that there are knowing looks shared by family members when you visit each other's houses.

He's one of the top leading men now. Projects here and there, promotes luxurious brands he had problems pronouncing when he was child. He has a colorful love life too, one that is often followed by flashing lights and intriguing issues.

It all comes to head when he falls out with this particular leading woman. He calls you, sometime around 1:30 am, in the darkness of his apartment. You arrive around 30 minutes later, he's just a block away so, sue you. He reeks of alcohol when he opens the door, not his best moment. But he can always count on you not to judge.

"You know what she told me? " There's a slur in his words as you try so safely guide him to his bed.

"She asked me when did I become someone she doesn't know? Really? Me? I'm not the one who got caught having feelings with my new co-star you know? 'S too ridiculous. "

"Yeah well, tell me how'd you two met again? " You ask in a sarcastic tone, a teasing grin on your lips as you try to put a cold towel on his forehead. He scoffs and laughs, eyes closed.

It's pathetic really, knowing him we'll enough to know where exactly you stand in his life, and still hold on to the undying feeling in your heart. A backburner in the purest form, when looked up in the dictionary, was probably your picture.

"Can you hold me, please?" He whispers, before slowly looking at you with those eyes you grew up with, those eyes you spent your entire lifetime with.

You feel his breath relax as he falls asleep to the rhythm of your chest. You hope he doesn't hear it breaking. You hold him tight, one last time, as you look at the sun rising. The blue hues look lovely, and for a moment you pretend that there wasn't hurt, maybe in another timeline, you both would have this with a different context. You bury your nose in his hair.

You both wake up later in the day. There is a bashful look in him; you don't know what hurts more, waking up alone in his bed or the way he can't seem to look at you in the eyes. You call him out on it and he tries to deny it at first, but you don't know what and when it exploded- he becomes defensive; you become more irritated.

"That's pathetic, man. You call me when you need someone to cry on, 'oh she broke up with me, hold me, I need a friend, and pretend it didn't happen' " You tell him, you might've tried to imitate his voice in a mocking manner just to add that extra impact.

He looks at you as if you just asked him for a duel and he draws his own gun.

"Yeah, well , how is that any different when you call me when you hit a writer's block? 'I just don't know how to perfectly write love, Caleb. I feel like I don't do it any justice, it's so unnatural... ' . Well guess what? You know the real problem? It's because you don't know anything about it! You've only been with yourself waiting for who knows who! What do you know about love anyway?! "

There was a moment of satisfaction when he finishes and there's no retort to be heard. Only a moment, because you stare at him blankly. There's a thin layer of water in your eyes that seems to stare at his would before they silently fall from your cheek. If this was acting, you could've given him a run for his money.

Your shoulders slump as you close your eyes, swallowing thickly before wiping your cheeks with the back of your hands, sniffling as you wipe them against your pajamas. You wet your lips before nodding to yourself. Closure, you think.

"You're right, Caleb."

You brave to look at him. There is a concerned expression in his face that confuses you. You look at him in his entirety, you mull over the things you had tried to do to reach him. You wonder what did it meant to him? Wondered what it meant to you, and what it would mean from now on.

---

There is silence when you leave. But your words replay in his head long after you left.

"You're right, Caleb. What do I know about love? "

[nicohii]

Sylus is never adequately prepared for the day he needs to let you down.

But he also is NEVER prepared for the surprising hurt, when he witnesses the days as you make peace with it.

The love and adoration for him starts to redirect to another. He knows what it feels like to be loved by you; but to see how you love even more when you are loved back; and when it dawns on him that between the two of you, he's the one who gets left behind, it kills him for the second time around.

Broke my own heart thinking about you saying, “Fuck it. I’m no bitch. I’ll tell him how I feel,” after Luke and Kieran goad you into it. So, you muster up the intestinal fortitude to barge into Sylus’ office to confess your feelings to him. Feelings that have stewed in your chest for over four years under his tutelage.

At first, it's radio silence. There’s static in your head. Your nails bite something fierce into your palms as you clench your fists at your sides. His mouth opens and closes behind his desk as he grapples with what to say, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so helpless.

“I’m sorry. I can’t return your feelings,” he says with furrowed brows, soft, even, like you’re a wounded animal that he’s afraid to scare off.

You smile. Laugh something sticky and bitter, your eyes warming with impending tears. Of course, he can’t. You knew he never could. You don’t know the intricacies of their relationship, but you know whatever bond he shares with the hunter is far beyond your control. Something forged like the stars littering galaxy, something ordained by fate long before you entered the picture.

“I know,” you whisper, peering down at your feet. You try to keep your dejection at bay, even as that sick, rolling feeling takes possession of your stomach, and it hurts to smile. You’re used to this, though—putting on a mask as if everything’s alright. Pushing your own feelings to the back burner, settling for whatever crumbs you can get.

It’s soundless between you. Awkward. Tense. It’s like you’re a bomb wired to explode, and he doesn’t know which wire to cut to defuse you. You decide for him, bowing curtly and excusing yourself. He’s speechless when you depart, staring forlornly after your image.

He knew all along; he isn’t blind. He just never adequately prepared for the day he’d have to let you down.