nihlistnancy

[nihlistnancy]

Raised in a News Household

**check tags

I never had that delusion

That the world was ok and adult were infallible

Or even trustworthy

I was innocent once

Although not that I remember

Of course innocence is subjective

I am glad

Even if I grew up faster, I grew up better

I had unique insights and perspectives on things when I was only 11

I’m very interesting to talk to

If you can keep up

The one thing I wish they had just turned off

Was that school shooting

I was seven years old.

And when you’re that young

The lines between what you’ve seen and experienced are pretty blurred

Leah talks about seeing Coraline at that age and being so scared

I heard the audio of highschoolers being murdered at school

In the mornings

Before going to second grade

I still flinch at sudden noises and movements

But it’s better than it was when

I would shake

I was terrified

I thought they would get me

Whenever I was out in the hall

In the bathroom breathing

I knew about other mass shooting too

At the malls

At grocery stores

Everywhere.

Every person I’d see

Was a potential shooter

A threat

I’d flinch and be on edge all the time, constantly for years.

And my brother made fun of me for it

Mom got annoyed and thought it was silly

I was seven years old

And there was no longer a monster under my bed

But a man with a gun

Always a man with a gun.

[nihlistnancy]

They are!! Queer people, people from all over the world, and….. recycling signs?

[nihlistnancy]

Every time I think too deeply about how we've found the bones of thousands and thousands of years old ancient people and we've given them people names I just

Guys, do you get it? We put to name these ancient peoples whose bodies vaguely resemble us and we go, "you're one of us, and we will give you a name that we have invented". They are not here to have a voice for themselves, but they are here to be remembered.

To be named is to be loved.

[nihlistnancy]

to look stylish even in basic outfits 🦷

[nihlistnancy]

[nihlistnancy]

almond princess diet

ballerinas, figure skaters, dancers are dainty and disciplined. if they're tired, theyre not gonna give up! they'll keep going. sleeping is for the night.

you don’t eat because you’re bored, because it looks tasty, because your friends offered u food and you “dont wanna be rude” or because “why not”. you eat when you need to, to give your body energy.

RULES

- eat twice a day!! breakfast, then choose either lunch or dinner. super low cal snacks are okay, like tea, gum and black coffee.

- it’s okay to fast if you’re not exercising tho.

- take vitamins/supplements!! you don’t want ur hair and teeth to fall out. id recommend iron, b12, zinc, calcium. or multivitamins are good.

- be tidy. keep your room clean, practice pretty handwriting, do skincare. focus on your schoolwork and yourself basically.

- remember to get a full nights sleep!! prevents acne and is good for your brain. (your body is probably very tired too)

- IF you MUST b1ng3, at least have something healthy, like fresh fruit or veggies. fast food is poison.

m34lsp0

[nihlistnancy]

Do it so you can be one of those girls who gets excited about the prospect of romance and isn’t busy trying to find ONE person who would date her.

[nihlistnancy]

At midnight, when the anxiety peeks

I face the screen of my phone

The white shadow reflecting on my face

As some self-proclaimed expert tells me how to sleep

And I think: have I always been here?

MJL

[nihlistnancy]

[nihlistnancy]

[gets in with you]

[gets in my little clown car]

[nihlistnancy]

Dear world,

I want them to release doves at my funeral, like they do at weddings because a funeral is really just a marriage between my life and my memory. Let the doves be my soul (now pure) flying out into the world, no

evidence

that

it

was

ever

even

there

[nihlistnancy]

I’ve always seemed to be drawn to the sad.

Sad books

Sad movies

Sad music

Crushing on sad people

Wallowing over sad thoughts

To me sadness is beautiful

It’s not good but it’s elegant

It makes me want to looks further, dig deeper

It is the purest of the emotions, yet the most intriguing

Sadness isn’t good, but it can be very different from hopeless

There’s a moment when I’m on the floor, crying blue tears of the blue emotion out of my blue eyes, and I think: “I’m pretty when I cry”

[nihlistnancy]

Insomniac poetry!! (Needs some editing though ig)

Tw/Ed/body dysmorphia

Mirror mirror on the wall am I fat or am I small

Oh blessed mirror will you say

What should ruin my life today?

Is my nose to big, are my lips too small

My cheeks too much

Why do my knees sprawl

Should I skip dinner?

Was I always this fat or did I used to be thinner?

The Dr said I’m a healthy weight

Mirror is that true?

Everybody seems to agree I guess

Everyone but me and you

I don’t know what to do.

So I’ll take out every photo of me

That anyone’s ever taken

And zoom in on all the parts I hate

And freak over the changes in my looks from date to date

I’ll try on all the clothes

Ive worn a million times

To see if I look different

Than I remember in my mind

And then I will make faces

I’ll see my smile and think

What and ugly face I have

And then I’ll start to sink

Into the floor

Because what is all this for

Smiles are supposed to be pure,

Full of urgency

To express one’s joy

Not exchanged for beauty currency

A wisp of a moment

Not a wisp of a girl

My smile and I are supposed to be

Fleeting pure beacons of life i

n the universes oblivion

Living contradictions

By now it’s 4:00am

I’m barely tired by then

Goodnight dear mirror

Tomorrow I’ll see you again.

[nihlistnancy]

This doesn’t even reveal what side of the political isle I’m on 😭

Never have I wanted to punch a senior citizen so hard before

[nihlistnancy]

Never have I wanted to punch a senior citizen so hard before

[nihlistnancy]

I promise to give some of it to charity 🤞

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[nihlistnancy]

I love tumblr. It’s not like insta or twitter, I can just scream into the void and no one I know will find me here