nimdreams

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fox spirit

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Happy Bunny Day to fellow lagomorphs!

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30 Day Fictionkind Challenge

27 Astron — Day 27: What are some other characters/species that remind you of your fictotype?

Besides the many people and peoples I have met and heard of during my time in Arda, rabbits do remind me of Kudugin in stereotypical ways, perhaps. Beyond the clear connection that can be assumed between the words “rabbit” and “hobbit” (even though there isn't such an etymological link), we are small creatures with furry feet and pointy ears who tend to live in burrows (hobbit/rabbit holes), most are very food motivated, also rabbits are known for having many litters and we have such big families, it influences our architecture and interest in genealogy, among other aspects of our culture.

But as I said: those are mostly stereotypes. Not all Hobbits lived in burrows, cared much for food, or gave two glances at family and genealogy. Even appearance-wise, some of our kind were much shorter or taller than average, there was the occasional child born with round and small ears, it was even more common to see a variance when it came to the amount of hair on our feet and legs, or the lack thereof. We can try to set an average look and lifestyle to us, but we were a very diversified folk.

I think it's sweet that at least one of the smials in the Hobbiton Movie Set has some rabbit-themed decoration. It's something that was somewhat possible to have existed in the actual Shire (if we did have rabbits at the time, which is something I'm unsure of, mostly tending towards denying), although I cannot confirm because of course I did not have the opportunity of seeing within every house in Hobbiton when I was there.

I personally like the rabbit-hobbit correlation for myself, even if I'm a more “atypical” kuduk, and consider rabbits to be a paratype, though I know not all Hobbits would feel the same way.

[nimdreams]

All of the OC Group Artworks

We know a few of the OC group artworks are floating around on tumblr, but we've never seen all of them together? Here they are in order from newest to oldest!

2024

2023

2022

2021

2020

[nimdreams]

The beast doesn’t need to transform to be loved. He doesn’t have to turn into a boring fucking prince to be loved. Or renounce to the essence of who it is. To me love is not transformation, love is acceptance and understanding.

Guillermo del Toro

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[nimdreams]

In the breath of twilight, dark meets light. 

This is one of my entris for our Faebruary Challenge that hosted for students on Patreon! I decided to go with the prompt ‘romance’ for this one. I didn’t have specific characters in mind as I started working but let them develop as I worked. Perhaps a fairy princess meeting up with the crow prince. As a side note, I love the texture on this piece! Anyhoo, I hope you like them!

We also have the speedpaint timelapse video for this piece: https://www.patreon.com/posts/122516564/

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Fellow adults in the therian community-

Would any of you be interested in an adult-centered group? 

I'd like to make a tumbr community blog and corresponding discord server for those over the age of 18. It's hard in such a niche community to find spaces specifically for adults. I'd like the focus to be on therianthropy / animalistic identities but any alterhuman adults would be welcome! 

Edit: Didn't realize one was recently created. I'm going to link it here in case others want to join!

[nimdreams]

Ever since I discovered the therian community  in 2017, I've questioned some kind of fox. I've jumped between many ‘fox’ labels, including different species of foxes, foxes from mythology, and fictional foxes. It led me to question why I've been so confused in my identity as a fox.  I've questioned being a fox cladotherian, but that didn't feel quite right either. I don't identify as all foxes. So then, why has my identity felt so ‘fluid’? 

Upon thinking about it last night, I came to the idea I have a fox soul. As a firm believer in reincarnation, I think I’ve lived many past lives, most of which  were of foxes of different species and color morphs. I also believe I’ve incarnated as other animals, some of which influence my current life and manifest as theriotypes, such as my wolf and seal types.

I know what I ‘look’ like as a wolf and seal, and don't really question it. On the other hand, despite it being my most dominant theriotype, how I imagine myself as a fox has always been fluid, not only in coat colors but also in species.

Despite feeling most confident in the red fox label right now, I also feel like Ive had past lives as an arctic fox, and corsac fox that still influence me in a lot of ways.  I feel like this fluidity is something I have to accept as a part of my lived experience, despite it being quite confusing at times. 

There are also some fox-related identities I've held in the past that no longer fit, and I want to acknowledge them as they were still important  in my journey of self-discovery. 

For some time, I identified as a kitsune. I feel like a lot of my experiences came from morphing my human life with my experience as a fox. Whether or not I like it, I have had to adapt to  human society in this life, leaving me feeling strangely part fox and part human. 

Reading about kitsune myths gave me a sense of self, as they often intertwined these two very different aspects of myself. In a lot of ways I still see myself in the kitsune; but I don't feel right identifying as one. 

As someone who has no Japanese descent, and didn't grow up with the myths and legends of the kitsune, I felt like the kitsune was something I would never truly understand in its entirety no matter how much I would read about them. There would always be a disconnect.

 From reading others’ experiences as kitsune, I noticed a deep connection to Japanese culture, even among those who weren’t Japanese. They often knew the language and followed the Shinto religion, which is related to kitsune. While I love and respect Japanese culture and mythology, it didn’t feel right to call myself a kitsune when I couldn’t fully understand the stories and culture they belonged to. When I focused on my own core identity rather than trying to fit my experiences into existing myths and legends, I discovered that I am simply a magic fox and not a kitsune.

I've also identified as some fictional foxes in the past, those being Ninetails from the game Okami, and Nazuna Hiwatashi from the anime Brand New Animal.  Spoilers ahead for both these sources! 

Okami is my biggest comfort game. I always play it when im going through hard times, and I've played through it at least five times, probably more. It makes sense that I feel a sense of home within that game. Ninetails is one of the major bosses featured in the second arc. On the surface and true to its name, Ninetails is a nine-tailed kitsune. However, as the story unfolds, it is revealed that Ninetails' true form consists of nine single-tailed foxes merged together into one. I related to this a lot because I was still figuring out my system at the time. 

 All of my system has fox or fox-related identities. This could stem from us being a median system, a term I did not know at the time that perfectly encapsulates our experience as plural. Most of the time we feel as one, like a singlet, but when under stress, or sometimes with positive triggers, we split apart, a lot like how ninetails splits apart when they are struck Amaterasu, the player character in the game. 

While I still experience the merging and splitting that comes with being a median system, I no longer resonate with this identity on the same level as I used to. During the time I held this identity, I was going through a very difficult period that I'm still trying to process. Okami was my comfort. I think my mind unconsciously made connections between me and Ninetails, which helped me navigate that dark time. Imagining myself as Ninetails made me feel powerful. Although I've since moved on from this identity, Ninetails will always be important to me, and continues to be a comfort character to this day. 

Nazuna Hiwatashi was another fictotype I identified as for some time.  This relates back to an earlier identity of mine: a winged wolf. In the anime, Nazuna pretends to be a silver wolf, a deity revered by the beastmen, anthropomorphic animals struggling to coexist alongside humans. Nazuna is actually a human who was transformed into a beastman due to a wrong blood transfusion. Her ‘true’ beastman form is a fox, but she can shapeshift into a silver, winged wolf. I had recently dropped the winged wolf label because I felt ‘fox’ was more accurate. I couldn’t help but resonate with Nazuna because of this. In hindsight, I believe this identity was more of a hyperfixation than anything else. 

Well, this got a bit long.  I suppose that is to be expected as the road to my identity as a fox has been a long and windy one. TLDR: My identity as a fox is very ‘fluid’ and has presented itself in different ways throughout my life. However, at my core I know I'm a fox. 

📷 Tomáš Malík

[nimdreams]

CATE BLANCHETT as GALADRIEL THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001) | Costume by Ngila Dickson

[nimdreams]

I decided to write a little bit about this because Hi! I don't know that much about foxes! I think OP probably means knowing even less than I do, and it's not that I fully disagree, but these are some thoughts I got after reading the post :)

I started identifying as part fox when I was around age 10, which is 26 years ago now. I think I awakened as part fox because of vulpix, but I am not even sure, it's so long ago. I was never super interested in foxes, so I never spend much time learning about them like I did dogs (my hearttype) or horses. I'm not sure if I know a little more about foxes than average, or if I know very little. I don't even know if I am unconsciously incompetent on this. I remember that I used to think foxes were quite solitary and later learning they are pretty social.

The thing is, it doesn't matter for me. I am a fox, I know this, and I am an individual. For me, it doesn't matter whether foxes are social or not, because I am however social I am AND a fox. I didn't base being a fox on, for example, being omnivorous, having pointed ears, hunting by jumping, or anything. I just knew I am one.

I know nobody is saying here that you cannot be a certain animal if you don't know enough about them, but it does feel similar to me as saying something like "you can't be a black wolf with blue eyes" because that doesn't appear in the wild and the person hasn't done their research*. We all agree now (hopefully) that someone's noema can be that they are a black wolf with blue eyes, and that is enough. I have noema that I am a fox, and that is enough for me. Hope that makes sense.

* I know that in this case it is about doing research to know your type of black wolf with blue eyes isn't naturally occurring, and still identify as one anyway. I understand it is about knowledge, even if you deviate, but that isn't the example I mean here. I mean having noema and that being all you need.

On theme with my last few posts, when did it become common to know next to nothing about your theriotype?

I'm not saying you need to be able to spit out a college thesis presentation on them or anything even close to that substantial, but it is kind of baffling to me when people have no idea what their own species actually eats, or how big they are, if they're social or not, where they live, that sort of thing. I don't understand how you know that you are one if you have no idea what they're like? And aren't you curious about your own kind?

I promise it's really rewarding and dysphoria alleviating to learn about your own species and see all the fun little ways that you are alike with them that you may have never thought of or known about otherwise. I know it might feel like you know all you need to know about them because you are one, but just think, an animal raised in captivity by humans with no contact from their species knows next to nothing about their own species! That's how you start out, too. But you can learn. It'll never be the same as having been raised by your own kind, but isn't it the next best thing?

You are in a unique position to learn about your kind and the threats that face them. You could have an impact on their lives even though you've been separated for them, or at the bare minimum, you could not spread misinformation and harmful content about them because you don't know better.

[nimdreams]

As a pagan/witch, I have always had an interest in working with  deities and spirits.  In my current practice, I work with dragons. For years they have been the spirits I feel the most connected to and comfortable working with. I recently confirmed I am dragonkin. I can't help but feel there is a correlation. I don't feel human, so I don't feel that same connection to human deities and spirits.

Dragons are primal beings that represent my animalistic identity. I feel a sense of kinship and acceptance within them. However, something still has felt missing within my practice. 

It took  years of questioning to confirm my dragon identity despite having worked with these spirits since childhood. I rarely experience dragon shifts, and when I do it's  usually a very spiritual and transformative experience. Its not something I experience on a day-to-day basis. I like to think of it as my higher self is a dragon, and I only ever feel my draconity when I'm in complete alignment. 

My fox identity is different. It's always there. Even when I am experiencing shifts of my other types the inner fox is always present. I've felt a strong urge to work with a deity that represents that side of me, however most fox-related deities and spirits come from cultures I am not a part of and not educated enough on to justify incorporating into my practice.  I felt  at a loss until I came across the Teumessian fox from Greek mythology. 

The Teumessian fox is a giant monstrous vixen destined to never be caught, sent by the gods to punish Thebes as punishment for crimes against them.  It ravaged the outskirts of Thebes, until  Amphitryon was given the impossible task to catch it. 

After failing with regular traps and snares, Amphitryon had the idea to use Lealaps, a hound destined to catch everything it chased, to catch the fox. To prevent the paradoxical pair from an eternal chase, Zues turned them both to stone. He then placed them both in the sky as stars. Lealaps became the contellation canis major and the Teumessian fox became the constellation canis minor. 

Despite her reputation as a beast, I see the starry fox as a symbol of protection. As someone who struggles from a panic disorder and living in fight or flight, I see her ability to never be caught as a sign that I am safe and can find my way out of any predicament.  I feel very called to work with  her, and I feel it will help fill a hole I've had in my spirituality for a long time that relates to my fox identity. 

[nimdreams]

Been meaning to say this for a while, but here's a not so gentle reminder that you don't have to be skinny, white and able bodied to be part of the nonhuman community.

Racism and ableism is sadly rampant in this community and I want this blog to be safe for the beings that feel excluded! If you want to, you can interact with this post if you are or your blog is safe for: fat, POC and disabled nonhumans. I wanna show some support, even if it's just a follow or a reblog here and there.

[nimdreams]

P-shifters: why the term needs to die

I welcome the growing acceptance of "weird" or "scary" folk in the nonhuman and alterhuman communities: the factkin, the object- and conceptkin and of course, physical nonhumans. I myself am a werewolf holothere, most of our system are holotheres and I interact with other physical nonhumans on a regular basis.

But recently, I have been observing a push towards the acceptance and "reclaim" of the word p-shifter/p-shifting - and this is worrying me. I want to write an elaborate post, shedding light on the roots and origins of this term and why I think it isn't a good choice to label yourself this way. I will back my claims up as good as I can, but there are quite obviously no studies on this and the general amount of archived sources is also quite low, because it is in the nature of toxic and manipulative behaviour to happen in the privacy of (long gone) servers or in DMs. So, I will have to resort to use personal experiences and anecdotes as my main sources - that's not ideal, I am aware.

Also, two things before you reblog, comment or otherwise agree/disagree with me: 1) none of this is at all about the validity and subjective realness of individual experiences, only about this specific term being used; and 2) please make sure you read this carefully and wholly. If I find you just try to twist my words, I will just ignore and block you. I also mean exactly what I say, there is no need to look for an "undertone" or "hidden opinions".

All of my sources will be linked at the end in chronological order of usage. Footnotes are numbered in [brackets], scroll to the end to find them.

1) Roots, original usage and meaning

Pinpointing the exact time at which the term was coined is pretty much impossible, but the earliest mentions I found go back to the early 2000s - namely, there is Swiftpaws Real guide to P-shifting from 2004 which mentions the term p-shifting in a way that suggests it has been more or less widely known at that time. Acoording to the alterhuman wiki, the term originated alongside the therian-community in the early 2000s, even on the same website as they did (but it doesn't mention which website that was). Based on what I've observed with my own eyes on this website [1] and backed up by various forum posts I found, the term p-shifting always referred to those who claimed the following things: 1) They have literal, tangible, objectively Real [2] physical shapeshifting abilities, 2) they do not experience delusions at all [3]. Finding old posts by p-shifters is almost impossible, I know a lot of blogs no longer exist, so I have to go off my memory here and also what @a-dragons-journal (hope you don't mind the ping!) has talked about on their blog many times, but I also know that a lot of them claimed to be able to teach others how to shift [4], which usually resulted in pack-like structures, with a few elite leaders who also functioned as "teachers". Another claim I have seen many times is how they had to prepare for a "war" or straight-up "the end of the world", but I have to admit, the last few points are not something every p-shifter I've seen talks about.

To hopefully provide some solid proof, have qoutes from a few self-proclaimed p-shifters:

by @/thefirstfamilypack: "We are not people with lycanthropy [CLCZ], we are actual physical shifters. This is a totally different community than those who have clinical lycanthropy or mentally "identify" with someone that's not "human" such as otherkins. We never claimed to be that, that's a whole different thing." "If you don't have the genes for it then sorry you're not a shifter."

by @/h-micideinthemirror (apparently deactivated, found a reblog of a post by them): "I'm so fucking tired of seeing therians talk shit about actual nonhumans [...] I'm not delusional [...] I'm just a person, who happens to be a wolf."

by @/harloqui: "However, I 100% agree with the message towards delusional alterhumans. [...] What shifters can do you cannot [...]"

by @/stonedlycanthrope (as a reply to an ask about how they knew they aren't experiencing delsusions): "I had 2 friends tell me the exact same thing [...] I had shifted in my sleep and [...] she stepped on my tail trying to get over me is what she told me." -> this is exactly what I mean when I say they make claims their shifting is Real.

There are so so many more, just go to thefirstfamilypack's blog and dive deeper from there. What you will find is the exact same rethoric I talked about, over and over again: "We are ACTUAL nonhumans, we are NOT delusional, we can ACTUALLY shift, etc etc" - I hope you also noticed the casual arrogancy towards otherkin and therians.

In conclusion: p-shifting originally referred to tangible, Real physical shifting, while vocally, aggressively excluding delusional folk and looking down on them (and otherkin as well).

I might add more on how exactly folk were hurt in these packs later on, but currently don't have the energy for that. I believe outlining the inherently probelmatic stances of the og shifter communities should be enough to support my point for the time being.

2) Why you can't reclaim the term

Now let's get to the actual point of this post - the push towards reclaiming the term p-shifter. By definition, reclaiming a term describes "a word that was at one time pejorative but has been brought back into acceptable usage, usually starting within its original target, i.e. the communities that were pejoratively described by that word [...]" - in simpler terms, the community that was originally negatively targeted by the term in question can reclaim it by using it in positive way to describe themselves. This is by definition not possible with the term p-shifter: in order for delusional folk to reclaim this term, it would have had to be a deragatory word to describe delusional folk, which it never was. Yes, the community looked down on delusional people, but the term itself actively excluded CLCZ and similar beings. Generally speaking, the term was never a slur used for anyone, it was always a positive and self-choosen term, created by the community for themselves. You cannot reclaim this term by definition.

"But what if we just change the definition to something positive, so anyone can use it?"

That is not a good idea for several reasons. I want to specifically quote @/a-dragons-journal and @who-is-page (hope you don't mind the ping!) for this one:

a-dragons-journal: "[...]using the word is still making it sound like you're making a physical claim. [...] This is admittedly not the best parallel [...] but it's a little like trying to "reclaim" the word TERF by changing it to mean something somehwat similar but ultimately different, and then being surprised people assume you're a transphobe and treat you as such."

who-is-page: "[...] You can't erase the history of the term [...] and the ways in which it's been used (and, most importantly, continues to be used!) to hurt others. [...] You can't reclaim [...] the terms "anti-otherkin", or the zeta symbol [...] because they're still being used by the cummunities who originally coined them to mean what they were intended to mean. [...] There is no way to seperate the people who are 'reclaiming' it and those who are just... Using it. [...] Also, thinking more on it, it's kind of fucked up for someone to try and steal another communitie's terms and forcibly redefine them? Like, we critcize that all the time in the otherkin and therian communities, and that's not exactly a one-way street. [...]"

Please take the time to fully read both of the posts, I have linked them below with everything else!

But they both really get the point accross in my opinion.

I hope now anyone can see why anyone should be wary of those who use p-shifter as a term: either they are completely unaware of the terms history and thus, should really do more research before advocating for the usage of a term they know nothing about. Or, and that's the worse option, they are aware of everything I listed above and either secretly agree with it, or just don't care. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be associated with beings who advocate for a term that has an inherently harmful, ableist history and is STILL actively used in that way.

Calling me ableist for refusing to accept the usage of this term is absolutely pathetic.

P-shifters have harmed and continue to harm delusional folk, spit down on them, disrespect them and put themselves above them. Why on EARTH would advocating for the usage and acceptance of this term be a positive thing? How would that help?

It won't.

------------------------------------

Footnotes

[1] I joined the community roughly in 2016, most of the posts I saw back then on p-shifters and by p-shifters were from around that or a few years older.

[2] When I write "Real" or "Reality" with a capital R, I am referring to the shared reality all people experience. Unlike subjective reality, you (technically) need to provide proof to claims you make that refer to Reality.

[3] Moreso, they often held very ableistic beliefs, spitting down on "the crazy ones", aka. folk with delusions. They put themselves above them, claiming they were "actually shapeshifting" and not "just delusional".

[4] The rest usually claimed it was based on DNA. I don't know percantages on this, but from what I have seen, I would say at least half of them claimed to be able to teach (or claimed they learned from someone, which supports the same stance from a different pov).

Sources