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[ninaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

I Miss You, I’m Sorry.

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 ! 𝗔𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘀𝗳

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: mentions of death/ loss, ilnesses, crying, fluff i guess?, angst.

𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆:Charles has always seen you as his litte brother’s annoying best friend. What happens when you both grow up and he starts realizing things too late..

𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗿: the plot is of based off of Gracie Abrams’. song, I miss you, I’m sorry. It may be off but use your creativity. I don’t see the song as two exes missing each other in this story. I used it bc the lyrics are definitely relevant to multiple situations. Might be a multi chap, but i’ll try to keep it short for my own sanity.

enjoy!

———————

From the innocent age of three years old, Y/n and Arthur have been attached at the hip.

Literally.

When they started first grade, they were put in two different classes. Clearly very upset with it, they forced the eldest Leclerc sibling, Lorenzo, to super glue their pants together. They walked , or tripped, into the school grounds the next day, smiling proudly at each other and their questioning teachers.

Their mothers obviously thought it was adorable and played along. Thought the bond was beautiful and a gift. That said bond never died. The little things keeping it alive.

Like how Arthur would tell Y/n how smart she was every time she helped him with a math question.

Or how Y/n would always tell Arthur that he’d be a World Champion when he’d discovered that just like his older brother, took an intrest in racing.

Arthur would help Y/n tie her shoes and Y/n would fix Arthur’s hair before he went to talk to a girl.

Y/n would stay up late in a cold and busy garage waiting for Arthur to finish doing laps around the track, being proud of his result and effort, not actually caring where he ended up.

Arthur would sit with a crying Y/n, comforting her when her anxiety got the best of her. Her choice in men not helping, but he’d never blame or judge her for it.

Arthur was always there for Y/n to lean on and Y/n the same for Arthur.

And for a while their mothers schemed, waiting for the moment they got together.

That suspicion changed completely when the pair were four teen years old. It completely vanished that one day in April when Y/n’ s mother died. Sat in the hospital with tears in her blue eyes, Y/n takes in the news of her mother’s passing due to leukemia. Arthur, almost as broken as the girl next to him, took her in his arms as they both sobbed.

Pascal, although absolutely crushed, observed the two. No eye contact, no tight grip, just two people leaning on each other for support.

When the little girl’s name got called, she looked up with big eyes. Pascal watched as the brunette girl was taken into her other son’s arms. She payed attention to the way Y/n gripped onto Charles’ sweater and neck, or the way she looked up from her head’s position on his chest to look into his eyes.

And when they were walking back through the white hallways to the car, and Arthur said “You’ll always be my best friend Y/n, I might have a girlfriend, but i’ll never leave you.” Pascal got her confirmation that the two kids weren’t in love, well at least not with each other..

Arthur had his middle school girlfriend and Y/n had.. well, a crush on Charles. The middle Leclerc.

A big crush.

The crush blossomed, just like Arthur and Y/n’s friendship, from the small things.

The way Charles would only throw Y/n with a piece of food at the dinner table and nobody else. It was probably just him making fun of the one person who wouldn’t stand up for themself, but 10 year old Y/n obviously saw it as Charles’ way of showing his affection.

Years down the line she would still smile over the way Charles would hear Y/n crying to Arthur and then ask her if she needed anything the second she came into his view.

The way Y/n’s stomach would fill with butterflies as Charles smiled at her from the podium.

He would buy her, her favorite candy when they go on trips, knowing her blood sugar gets low quickly.

They would fight about the dumbest things, but then Y/n would try to flirt with him ten seconds later.

He would stay awake at night, waiting for Arthur and Y/n to come home after going to a party, his excuse always being that he was waiting to show Arthur something, that he didn’t know that the girl would be with him, but he knew. He always did.

Despite all of it, Charles wasn’t interested. Amused and slightly more egotistical? Yeah, sure. But teenage Charles definitely thought he was too old for the girl and in all honesty too cool.

As they got older and Y/n got more confident, she started to try connecting with Charles, never succeeding, as she got the same excuse every time. “I’m too old for you.”

And maybe he was, she was 16 and he was about to turn 19. His other excuse was that he was very busy with racing. Driving in Formula 2 and trying to get to Formula 1.

Despite it, Charles owned her heart through it all, he even broke it a few times.

—

It was a beautiful day in Monaco and Arthur had invited Y/n to join the Leclerc family on the ocean, sailing across the clear waters with their boat.

Arthur brought his new girlfriend, and Y/n thought they were perfect for each other, actually being the one to set them up.

Sitting at the very edge at the front of the boat, looking at the sun setting.

Pascal watched as her middle child left the steering wheel, calling Lorenzo from the deck to take over.

She watches with intent as he takes off his hoodie and walks to the girl she would call her own and sit next to her.

The woman could see Y/n scoff at his offer, but ultimately agree to taking the piece of clothing.

“How are you?” Y/n asks him, looking at the sunset.

“Good, finally signed the contract, now I just have to follow through with it.”

“Can’t believe you’re going to be in Formula 1 next year.” you almost scoff in disbelief at it all.

“You’ve made it, Charlie.”

He looks at her with that sentence, staring deeply into her eyes. The eyes he’s looked into so many times, each time they’re just as pretty.

He turns his head again, both of them sit in silence, their presence speaking for its self.

“You miss her?” Charles asks, breaking the silence with a question that caused a chill to grow up Y/n’s spine.

“Ever day.” She simply replied.

She turned her head slightly, to be met with Charles staring at her deeply.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder, sighing out.

“I’m too old for you, you know and with my career taking off.. it’s never going to happen, Y/n.”

“Whatever you say, Charlie. We’ll see.”

“I’m being serious.” He takes a brief pause, stuttering like he’s trying to come up with an excuse after being caught doing something wrong. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Arthur would kill me.”

“Hm, he would, wouldn’t he?” Y/n smiles at the thought of her best friend.

Back to Formula one though..

When he got his seat with Alpha Romeo, the whole family was ecstatic. Everyone celebrating, despite finding out the tragic news that Hervé, the boys’ dad was once again ill.

A year later Charles joined Alpha Romeo, as a rookie for the 2017 season. Nearing the Baku Grand Prix, Y/n got woken up by banging on her bedroom door. Outside the door was a frantic looking Arthur, and by the tears welling up in his eyes, Y/n knew the inevitable had came. She comforted Arthur on the way to the hospital, her heart breaking for the boy. Once he calmed down and fell asleep on her shoulder, her dad driving, her head started racing. The only thing going through her mind being if Charles was okay.

When Charles heard the brunette girls’ choked up words to his mother he quickly turned around, once again in the hospital hallway, and immediately met her gaze.

“Charlie, I’m so sorry.” she said, her arms around his neck, his face buried into her hair. For some reason the second she was near he let it all out. All of the frustration, the sadness, the anger and the utter and deep rooted pain.

They went home, the girl joining. As everyone went to bed, Y/n insisted on falling asleep to the tv playing, as she didn’t like the silence filling up her mind. Leaving her space to think about Hervé or how Charles’ arm felt around her waist.

She tried to suppress her feelings day by day. But the second he looked at her with his beautiful eyes or smiled at her she crumbled and fell for her best friends brother all over again.

And just as she was about to fall asleep and stop thinking about him, he walks down the stairs, a suit case in his hand and a tired expression on his face. It could be because of the lack of sleep or the emotional drainage today has caused.

“You really going to get on a plane right now?” she question at his sanity. “Have to.” He replies bluntly. “At four in the morning?” Y/n question once again, a little softer, feeling sympathy for the, very clearly traumatized and exhausted boy in-front of her. “I’m a bit early, couldn’t sleep.” he sighs, falling onto the couch next to her, rubbing his eyes with his right hand, the left one resting on the couch behind her.

“Are you okay?” Y/n brakes the short silence, looking intently at him.

It was silent for about two minutes. That’s what the clock on the wall said. It felt like two hours.

“I have to be. Can’t afford to be distracted.”

“Charles, your father died, you’re allowed to be sad.” the girl said, shocked at his lack of emotion.

“It’s easier for everyone if i’m not, I had a good cry. Now I have to look after Mama’n.”

The brunette girl looks at him, slightly confused why it’s his job to look after his mother when he’s not the oldest, nor the only child.

He sighs once again, looking straight forward at the clock om the wall. “Lorenzo is married and expecting and Arthur’s not only focusing on his racing and getting to F2, but he’s also falling in love, you can hear it in the way the idiot talks about her.” Charles chuckles, slightly annoyed but happy for his brothers and their success. Oh, and how it made you love him even more.

“You deserve love too, Charlie.” Y/n says, looking intently at his reaction form her view of his side profile.

He looks at her. His gaze narrowed slightly and he shook his head as Y/n placed her hand on his shoulder.

“I’m serious, you deserve that support, you deserve to feel excited about seeing someone, you deserve to be comforted and happy and to have fun. You just have to let it in..” Y/n says, hinting at Charles that she was there, waiting for him.

He looks at her again, realizing immediately that they are very much closer than they were a few seconds ago.

“Y/n..” Charles says, looking down at her lips. He was tempted, very tempted. He was confused and sad and saw Y/n as a good distraction. Or at least that’s what he told himself. Y/n tried to make eye contact, but it was impossible when all he could look at was her lips.

So she did the next thing she could think of. She leaned in. Their lips brushed together, she hesitates as Charles looked like he wanted to say something more. “Y/n.. I” Still as close as they were, Y/n’s heart beat out of her chest, so loud she was convinced Charles could hear it. This was the moment she’s been waiting for. She’s been in love with Charles for more than half her life. The thought of him finally feeling the same made her head hurt and her mouth run dry.

“I can’t.”

Two words, those two words she knew she would remember forever, she does to this day, it’s stored in the old and dusty box in the corner of her mind marked with the initials C. L on it.

The next sentence she tried to solve for years and years, that was until she watched drive to survive, and although she got some clarity, it opened the cardboard box in the back of her mind and knocked it over, all the memories spilling out of the box and filling her mind. At that moment she would’ve chosen the silence over the taunting reminder of the childhood and teenage years spent with Charles Leclerc that kept her up that whole night.

One sentence and his closed off mannerism after that, that haunted her conscience, that house and made it so much harder to get over the Monegasque.

“I promised him, I’m sorry.”

Y/n watched the Monegasque take off with tears in her eyes and more than one crack in her heart.

“He’ll come around Y/n, give it the summer.” Said her best friend from the stairs. He sighs, rubbing over his face with a hand. Once again comforting his best friend over a guy treating her like shit. Only this time, he knew she wouldn’t be okay in the morning. He knew it would take a little time for Y/n to get over this one. He knew she’d still love Charles, no matter how good or bad they were to each other.

———————

Now many years later, Y/n is once again supposed to be with the Leclerc’s on a boat. Charles’ boat to be specific. She hasn’t talked, called or seen him since he left that morning, right after completely rejecting the girl.

Charles was excited.

You could even say he’s been waiting for this moment since he saw her skiing with her friends in December three years ago. Because the truth was, he has.

Charles would be lying right out of his ass if he said he didn’t miss his brother’s bestest of friends. She and Arthur were still extremely close, despite hearing that she took off for a few months after that night in the living room.

It’s been three and a half years since that, and Charles has regretted it ever since. He gets sick to his stomach thinking about it, thinking about hurting Y/n. Because deep down he cared more for her that he would admit.

It did make him focus more on racing. He put his all into it, trying to numb the pain of losing two people at the same time. He has then since signed for Ferarri and waited for the girls call. When it didn’t come he was disappointed to say the least, but understood her view. When drive to survive came out and explained how he promised his father that he got the seat to Ferarri, he thought the girl would understand his need to focus on only that, but when his phone never rang and he never heard her voice he knew she was gone, she was done chasing him. And that hurt him more than leaving in the first place, because he knew everything he knows would bring him back to them.

Bring him back to their arguments. To their laughs, their crys, screams, emotions.

Everything would bring him back to her.

“Y/n?” Charles hesitantly said through his phone, after practically tackling Arthur to get her new number.

“Charles. H-how did you get my number?” Y/n stutters, immediately knowing who’s voice it was through the phone. I mean, how would she not. She’s spent so much of her life imagining that voice utter three little words to her. Three words that didn’t break her heart but instead healed it. But she was older now, and those fantasies weren’t forgotten, but stored very much in the back of her mind in the infamous cardboard box.

“Uh, kind of fought my brother for it.” Charles muttered shamefully.

“Oh, uhm okay. Can I ask why?”

“I miss you, Y/n.” Charles replied almost immediately. Desperate for the girl’s attention.

“Charles.. I-.” She was cut off quickly. “Why aren’t you here? You said you’d be here. Maman is going insane with all the men, she needs you here.” Charles tries to convince her.

“I don’t know, Charles. It’s been a while.” Charles sighs at the absence of his nickname. “So come and we can catch up.” he continues.

“Please.”

It’s silent for a few seconds. It felt like minutes.

“Okay.” is the only thing Y/n says before hanging up. Charles still wanted to talk to her but he figured he could do that when she gets here.

“She’s coming !” Charles yells out to his family as he walks back up to them, sitting himself down on the white couch next to Lorenzo and across from the youngest Leclerc.

Pascal was obviously very happy, Lorenzo giving them all a surprised look. But Arthur, Arthur wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.

“She’s not seventeen anymore, Charles. She doesn’t have a little crush on you anymore.” Arthur immediately shuts any wrong intentions down, not liking that Y/n agreed to come because his brother, who hurt her, asked her to.

“I know Arth. Don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried you idiot, but you should be if you even think about making a move on her or something.”

Arthur stands up and walks away, completely unappeased with this whole thing. Lorenzo follows.

“ He’s just looking out for his bestfriend, Cherie.” His mother reasons with a angry looking Charles. “I know, i’m just offended he’d think I would hurt her again, now that i’m older and more stable.”

“You still love her?” Pascal questions.

“What?” Charles looks so confused, you could’ve sworn he just saw a flying goat. “Ma cherie, you’re a very stubborn person, but you aren’t stupid.”

Charles stares at his mother, shocked at how well the woman knew him.

“Yes I do still love her.” Charles says, looking down at his feet, deflated by the fact that he couldn’t do anything about his feelings, knowing his brother would resent him and Y/n definitely didn’t trust or care for him anymore.

“I’m sorry, Charles.” Pascal says, standing up to go get another drink, kissing her son’s forehead on her way out.

•••••••••••••••••••••

𝗢𝗞𝗔𝗬 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗦 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝟭.

this is taking lot longer that I expected..

[ninaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

Champagne problems

Charles Leclerc x reader

𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀:language, drinking, crying, just a lot of sadness tbh..

————————

The season has come to an end, I couldn’t be more relieved. Charles won his third championship, i couldn’t be more relieved about that either.

Its been a tough couple of years for him, he’s been extremely busy. This year more than ever.. we started dating 6 years ago. From the start we had so many plans, so many things we were excited for. Those ideas of relaxing and spending long days in the sun together vanished into thin air the second he promised his father that he would sign with Ferarri. I don’t blame him, how could I ?

Charles was a man who made a promise to his passed father, it would be extremely selfish of me to bring it up. I honestly didn’t feel the need to, my life was perfect in every way. Charles was everything and more. He was caring, compassionate, funny, respectful and extremely romantic.

That brings us to today, the end of the season party. It was quite a formal gathering. With bejeweled cocktail dresses and champagne flowing.

Me and Charles walked in hand-in-hand. He was being nicer than normal, if even possible. We greeted a bunch of people, all of them congratulating Charles with huge smiles and compliments.

I settle down on a wooden chair with a white cushion, my little black dress with gold detailing working perfectly with the colour theme of the party. Carmen and Kika sit next to me, both of them staring at their boyfriends with big smiles. I take a moment to look around the boat, bustling crowds filled the deck, all of them crowding around Charles. He had won the Championship this year. It was his third, for the third year in a row. He had promised me we would start to settle after he reached his goal. We never did, always on the move and always making promises we couldn’t keep.

———— 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗴𝗼

“Charles you did not !” I scream, my hands covering my tear filled face. The man I would do anything for stood with a proud posture and a devastatingly beautiful smile on his face. I practically sprinted into his arms, his flannel riding up on my body and exposing my lace underwear.

Charles took me to his family’s lake house, the season was at its end and Ferarri was second on the leaderboard. He had decided to steer clear of the chaos and rather taken me away for a little vacation before Christmas with his family in December. I was over the moon at the thought of spending the whole of November in the cabin with him. What I was not expecting was him buying me a Chevy convertible. It was my dream car, I had brought it up a few times, all black with red leather seats. It was gorgeous, the interior being Ferarri red and the exterior being as black as the night sky. “Thank you Charles, I love it.” I say with a huge smile on my lips, staring deeply into his eyes, I only see my future.

“I love you, Y/n.”

————𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆

My mind goes foggy with all the memories of what we had, I almost don’t realize that Kika was tapping my leg. I blink a few times and smile at the stunning woman in front of me. “Y/n, are you alright? You look a little tense.” Kika was an amazing friend and I appreciated her throughout the years. I look down at her hand on my leg, her diamond ring glistened in the flashing lights of the yacht. Her and Pierre were engaged, the two being absolutely perfect for each other. “Yes, I am. Just excited to go home, is that bad ?” I was happy for Charles, but I was exhausted with this whole thing. I was with him every step of the way and I wasn’t complaining. I loved Charles, more than I have ever loved anyone, I gave up everything for him. My job, my friends back home, my family, in all honesty I gave up my whole life to be by his side. I regret it now, the guilt of leaving everyone and the job I had such a passion for, it was catching up to me. I did not matter beyond Charles and his social bubble. I made new friends and I had everything I could want. but it was all so bittersweet.

“Y/n!” I snap back into reality once more. “Fuck , i’m sorry Kika, I should probably go freshen up.” She gives me a sympathetic look, offering to go with me before I turn her down and make my way to the bathroom. I use the one by the master bedroom, as I know there would not be anyone. This isn’t my first time breaking down on this yacht. It’s actually been a tradition for the last three years. Sulking in the bathroom, my mascara smudged onto my inflamed cheeks. It happens every damn year.

This wasn’t what I wanted, nor was it what I deserved. I was stuck in a loop of race after race and party after party. Charles was a natural, this was his favorite way to pass the time. Noting else really mattered all that much. Except me, i guess. He showed me love and care that I have never experienced before. Even with the back lash i received daily. And not only from fans and supporters, but from friends and family members too. His close family and I were in a verg good place. His mum adored me and his brother and I got along very well. I felt comfortable and loved around them. It was the distant relatives and friends that had their opinions. It never bothered Charles, so much so that he didn’t even think to check if it maybe bothered me. It did, a tremendous amount, actually. But I was stuck in the same loop, for I don’t know how long. I couldn’t leave, but I couldn’t bare the thought of this routine going on for decades. My chevy has stood in a private parking garage for the last three years now, only been driven once when I took Charles along with me to pack up my dorm at med school, quitting that year and deciding to move in with Charles. I would have been a doctor by now, a surgeon actually.

I hear a bottle pop and have no doubt in my mind it’s the bottle of Champagne Charles had brought. I clean myself up and walk out of the bathroom, my tears dried and my hart heavy. As I turn the corner I run into Kika who looks like she’s waiting for me. “Y/n, what’s going on?” She has a very concerned look on her face, I smile at that, appreciating how much she cares. Her hand is once again gripping onto me, her ring taking my attention. “You think he’s going to?” she whispers, a slight frown on her face. That confused me, I thought she would be excited at the idea of me and Charles getting married. I’m not even sure I was. “I don’t kn- ”

“Y/n !” I look over Kika’s shoulder to see Charles on his way over. “I’ve been looking all over for you, where have you been love ?” He exclaims gently, his hand in my lower waist. I instantly feel safe in his embrace, like the world stopped for a second and allowed me to take a deep breath. Kika squeezed my arms and walked over to her fiancé. “Sorry, I was with Kika.” I say hazy. I really needed to get my shit together.

“no need to apologize. Cmon, Arthur wants to do shots.”

I was a few drinks deep when the music switched to a slow song, Charles immediately found me, his arms wrapping around my waist. his head rests gently against the side of my temple, the same temple that was pounding and messing with my ability to stay in the present. “I love you so fucking much Y/n. You do know that right?” Charles pours his heart out. I dropped his hand that was so tightly held in mine. I pinch my eyes shut, finding Pascal looking at me with sorrow filled eyes. I was so fucking confused why people kept looking at me like that.

So i chose to ignore it, I leaned back, looking into Charles’s captivating eyes. “I do, I love you more than anything Charlie.” I smile at him. He kisses me, the kiss is passionate and soft. It almost felt as if I would never see him again. When my eyes opened I looked around and saw that it was only me and Charles left on the dance floor, everyone gathered around us. I frown, looking back at Pascal and Kika they both have worried expressions on their faces, Arthur is taking back glass after glass, with the same panicked expression on his face. But he’s not looking at me, he’s looking behind me. I turn around to be met with the Lorenzo on the other side of the crowd. His expression also mirroring the rest. Fingertips graze my leg and I look down to a hopeful Charles with his mother’s ring in his hands. The world stops, not to give me a deep breath, but to suffocate me. I felt breathless and light headed. It was dead silent, the only sound being Arthur putting the now empty bottle of Dom Perignon on the glass table.

“Y/n you are everything. I have never in my whole life been this inlove, nor have I ever imagined an angel like you to ever grace me with your presence. I cannot imagine myself without yo- ”

“Charles.” I whisper, my breath caught in my throat and my eyes watering. Everything burned, the lights the feeling of his fingers still gripping my leg, the sting in my heart.

“Y/n let me finish, baby. It would be an honor to live up to this speech every day. So if I could just finish it?” He smiles at me. Down on one knee and love circulating in both eyes.

“Charles I-” I choke on my words. “Okay I understand my love, this is a big thing, I’ll skip my shitty speech for now.” I wanted to say something but I felt as if i was going to fall faint right here and die. “Y/n I have loved you for a long time now, and I intend to do so until I die.”

“Will you marry me?”

Complete and utter silence, throughout the whole boat, nobody made a sound. The problem was, I didn’t either.

Charles looked at me with years and years of adoration and love and my heart broke a little more every second I stood still.

“No.” I whisper.

Gasps all around the room, it’s all I could hear. Kika let out a big sigh and Pascal let out a big sob. I could hear curse words being thrown and Charles’s manager saying how I could have been such a lovely bride. I next hear Carlos reply “what a shame she’s fucked in the head.”

“Fuck. I- I’m sorry, I can’t.” I sigh and sob at the same time, hyperventilating almost. Charles dropped the ring out of shock, and I could see his heart was also on the ground, although it was shattered.

I turn away in a complete state and rush towards the street. Quickly climbing into a cab and going home. I pack all the things I could need for a few days before taking off on the next train to God knows where. The train is silent and not a single person is awake. I look around the train, my phone ringing uncontrollably in my hand.

I take a seat next to an elderly woman, her window wide open. My phone goes through that same window about gen second later. As do all my worries. My heart has never hurt this much, but I have never in my life felt a weight quite this big being lifted off my shoulders.

I open my leather wallet and look at the picture of Charles tucked on the inside. That too goes out of the window.

••••••••

hope you enjoyed!

there won’t be a part 2 unless this story really takes off, but I doubt it ?

𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 !!!!